Thursday, January 21, 2010

PLFM Quickies: Cat Thoughts

Amy admits she made a very poor decision ten years ago, when she unfortunately agreed to marry a man she met over the internet named Alan.

The relationship seemed somewhat normal for, oh, about a month or so, whereupon Alan suddenly transformed into what Amy calls a “psychotronic nutbot.”

Alan not only threatened to kill Amy, but also repeatedly threatened to kill her beloved cat, Tiss.

Amy quickly divorced his crazy ass, and soon discovered Alan had taken up with another young woman in San Francisco. According to Amy, that poor woman had to fake her own death in order to get away from Alan.

Well, ten years later, guess who decides to send Amy an email out of the blue?

Alan!

So what’s up, Alan?

From: Alan
To: Amy

I started to think about Tiss lately.


I suddenly realize she is getting old.

Yes, I miss her. I just start to worry. Please keep me up to date about her.

Ten years later, and all of the sudden you “miss” a cat that you once repeatedly threatened to kill?

Amy responds:

From: Amy
To: Alan

You threatened to kill her once, why would I send you news about her? If I wanted you in my life or my cat's life, you would hear from me. We are not friends. Stop trying to pretend that we are. I keep every email you send me and blind copy it to someone else so that if I need to get a restraining order I can.

But of course, Alan had to have the last word:

From: Alan
To: Amy

I was nice to you to send you back your stuff. Now you write something like this.


Forget it. Just forget it.

Karma will get you. It starts now.

You are now in my kill file.

Amy adds:

“I haven't heard from him again online, but he showed up at a science fiction convention that I was at and yelled "Pedophile" at me 2-3 times. I have no idea why.”

25 comments:

  1. That's really creepy

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  2. Yeah, Alan's a piece of work, ain't he?

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  3. Wait...who goes to a science fiction convention and DOESN'T expect creeps to be there??

    Where were THOSE red flags?

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  4. Damn internets, causing people to get married and shit.

    Seriously, I want to know how much time she spent with him before the wedding, because he's a giant red flag.

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  5. Fabulous. Srs bsns.

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  6. No, Apryl, they're not red flags...

    They're red shirts! Yes, the expendable crew of the USS Enterprise!!

    (Filled my nerd quota for the moment.)

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  7. Ummm anyone who has a KILL FILE should be reported to the police immediately...right people?

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  8. Isnt the first sign of a serial killer that they killed/tortured animals at some point...even threatening that is reason enough to call the cops and share his creepy correspondance. This guy should be locked up before he hurts someone (if he hasnt already).

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  9. Nah. Word of mouth is not evidence. Some people just talk.

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  10. What a creeper!

    The kill file remark must qualify as a violent threat in the legal sense, right? Especially seen within the context of their former correspondence?

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  11. I can't wait for all the trolls to chime in about how this is Amy's fault.

    Or, wait: Maybe it's the cat's fault?

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  12. Wait, he threatened her life AND her cat's life, and she doesn't have a restraining order already? Or did it expire? (I suddenly feel distinctly glad that I've never been in a position to know firsthand when a restraining order runs out.)

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  13. Serial killers don't tend to threaten openly. They are more likely to kill in secret, decompensate, then kill again in an attempt to recreate the feeling of that first kill. Much like a drug abuser looking for another high.

    However, this wingnut definitely sounds like an unstable sociopath. He could certainly tip over the edge and spree-kill.

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  14. Ok time to move across the country and get a new job and a new life...

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  15. Weasel, this has got to be the lamest post you've made in the history of this blog. Are you getting desperate for material?

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  16. Ok time to move across the country and get a new job and a new life...
    Totally, if you're a pussy.

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  17. I support you, Weasel. Keep 'em coming :)

    And don't feed the trolls. They tried to comment on my story that I was inviting my stalker to stalk me by not changing my email or other info he had. So cute! *pets*

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  18. Kids these days.... "Kill file" is a term left over from the early days of the Internet, which meant the same as "ignore" or "bozo filter." It functioned like a spam filter and sent the posts of people you want to ignore straight to the trash bin so you don't see their emails or posts. Alan is no doubt a nutcase, but when he said "kill file" he just meant "bozo filter" or "twit filter" as it used to be called.

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  19. Meh. If I were in Amy's shoes, I wouldn't have responded to his email at all. ANY kind of contact encourages these sorts, it just convinced him further that Amy really is a nasty nut job and he was right about her all along. He successfully provoked her into reinforcing his views of her. The best way to get a stalker to go away is NO interaction. At all. Of any kind. No matter how much you want to open a can of whup-ass on him.

    Thanks for the defenition of 'kill file', anon. Yup, we're all kids. :-)

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  20. The problem is you dont know what kind of stalker he is. Even if you dont respond he may fantasize that you did... or that no communications means he needs to come rescue you....

    You cant be too careful these days. I still stand by my comment.. move across country, get a new job and a new life. Move to another state or city even. Get a change of scenery.

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  21. Who the hell contacts their ex after ten years to ask about a cat?

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  22. Maybe in yelling "pedophile" repeatedly, he was announcing his newest career change to the public?

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  23. Yeah, I don't doubt that yelling pedophile was just to lure her in by trying to make her think that he wasn't interested in people over 17.

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  24. I may be going to hell for this, but I LOLd at the "kill file" thing. I had never heard of such a thing until now. Jesus that man is fucked in the head.

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