Friday, June 19, 2009

Idle Threats: Part Deux

Angelina and Peter found themselves stuck in a ho-hum relationship that felt like one of those really bad CSI episodes- you already know how it's going to end, but you're both too lazy to change the channel.

Peter was a nice enough guy and all, but Angelina knew she would never marry him. As far as she knew, the feeling was mutual.

Their lives together had become a testament to the routine and boring; you go to work and come home, you talk a bit about the weather over some Kung Pao chicken, and maybe once a month he'd laboriously mount her like a trained seal, perform a little scripted mechanical fumbling, and 3 minutes later his face would resemble a donkey choking on a golf ball.

Angelina admits Peter kind of squeaked his way into her life in the first place. After a difficult divorce three years prior, Peter had earnestly auditioned for the role of "rebound." And like most rebounds, Peter won the part by lacking the qualities Angelina so detested in her ex-husband.

But the performance piece was long over, and Angelina was ready to move on. She just needed that little extra kick to finally push her out of the house, and Peter eventually provided the foot:

Angelina learned Peter had placed his profile on a local dating site.

Check, please!

La Vaginelle de Angelina promptly closed for business, and the hostess informed Peter he needed to find a new place to eat.

Luckily, Angelina lived only three hours away from her hometown of Williamsburg, and couldn't wait to move back home near her family and start life anew. The possibilities were endless; new job, new boyfriend, and a whole new direction she had sought in the years since her divorce.

Her dreams immediately came to fruition. Angelina found a new job that she loved, and found a new boyfriend named Mark that loved her. She enjoyed living near her parents, and the forecast for her life couldn't possibly have looked sunnier.

Until four months later, when Hurricane Peter suddenly re-formed on the horizon.

And he was out to prove one thing: He totally fucking blows.

Peter began contacting Angelina to recite a series of poorly-constructed haikus concerning her selfish decision to move so far away from him. He usually followed his complaints by making belittling comments about her new hometown of Williamsburg, saying it was too small and full of people he didn't like.

Damn, Williamsburg, you got fucking OOOOWWWNNED!

Angelina attempted to expedite the process by revealing her new relationship with Mark to Peter, hoping this might help Peter understand the breakup was permanent and perhaps it was time for him to move on to greener pastures. The plan backfired horribly, and Peter became so incensed that he literally began foaming at the mouth, which may or not have led to the soiling of his new collection of "I ♥ Williamsburg" T-shirts.

Peter somehow tracked down Mark's cellphone number and began texting Mark questions about his relationship with Angelina. Hoping to circumvent further problems, Mark initially denied the relationship, causing Peter to theorize that Angelina had "made up" this whole story about a boyfriend just to infuriate Peter.

Peter also signed up to Angelina's favorite internet message board for the sole purpose of tracking her communications, as Peter had absolutely zero interest in the topic of the message board. Which leads PLFM to speculate that perhaps the topic of the message board was "How To Move On From a Failed Relationship in a Mature Manner."

Then came a flurry of Jekyll and Hyde emails, choking her inbox with an assortment of angry emails intertwined with bizarre pleas to help him "move forward":

Hi Angelina,

Why can you not be nice?

I know that you are not over me or you could be civil and nice if you were.

I am not stalking you by wishing you a great day and letting you know that I miss you. I hope that you will let go of the hate that you have inside and realize that you still have feelings for me.

I am not asking you to act on those feelings just be nice to me. I know that it will take time for you stop hating me and then hopefully we can move forward.

I know that you know that we had a great relationship together for three years and shared everything. If you do try and date you will realize like I did that what we had is really hard to find.

Please be nice and treat me like a person that you use to love. Look inside your heart and you know what is there. I do still love you and miss you and am trying to move on like you said but it is really hard.

I am sorry if I am bothering you but I need to say these things.

Have a good day.

Peter

Angelina completely ignored Peter's communications, which apparently threw in reverse Peter's aforementioned plans to "move forward."

Rather, Peter decided to "move backward" by threatening to drive down to Williamsburg to place a GPS tracking device on her vehicle so he could track her movements around that god-awful shithole of Williamsburg, which, if you haven't heard, really sucks balls.

When these idle threats failed to provoke a response, Peter changed tactics by sending a huge bouquet of flowers to Angelina at her place of employment.

Rather than drop to her knees in a fit of unbridled lust, Angelina just stuck to the game plan. She ignored him.

Peter then decided it was time to pull out the big motherfuckin' guns.

Go ahead and shoot your blanks, Peter.

Angelina,

I was not going to do this but now I am not sure.

I copied all your posts from the message board and wouldn't you know it they were almost all posted while you were at work.

I wonder if I start sending all 44 post that were done on company time to the president of your company and work my way down thru all the executives if they would be interested on just how hard of a worker you really are.

You seem to think that tearing my heart out by moving away and then trying to rub my nose in this fake boyfriend which is stabbing my heart is a lot of fun. All I wanted was to be friendly to each other and that seems to be out of the question.

I wonder if your ex-husband would be interested in knowing that his tax exempt was used for a few years after you guys were divorced.

I did not want it to come to this so I better start getting a little respect from you.

I thought that after how wonderful our relationship was "you said it on a daily basis" that you would not find another man that could make you as happy as I did.

Just food for thought......

Peter

Peter, your food for thought lacks presentation and smells like a load of shit.

But Peter finally achieved his goal.

Angelina responded.

She responded by issuing Peter a final warning: If you contact me one more fucking time, I'm going directly to the local authorities to file harassment charges against you, and you can expect a restraining order to slap you across the face like a cold, dead sea bass.

And of course in true PLFM fashion, guess what happened.

Peter wrote her back with some helpful advice:

Would you like me to give you their phone numbers?

There has been no threats against you physically. You really need to brush up on you local laws.

I will be sending out those copied posts from the message board to the head honchos.

Hopefully you will get fired but do not worry their is a lot of opportunity down there.


Maybe then you will feel like I have for the last 4 months. The broken heart pain and cannot sleep because somebody ruined you life.

Thanks, next week will be fun for you...........

Peter

As promised, Angelina proceeded to lug an immense stack of emails down to the Williamsburg courthouse, where she found a large group of individuals who were surprisingly familiar with their local laws.

Particularly the harassment laws, which Peter might to brush up on.

They gleefully slapped a restraining order on Peter's ass, ensuring he no longer had reason to visit the town for which he had such a distaste.

If Angelina sends me any updates, I'll be sure to let you guys know.

That's it for this week guys, I'm outta here. Post anything you want in the comments this weekend, I read everything you guys write.

Have a great weekend everyone.

83 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. I love this site, it's just brilliant!!

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  3. Peter = Creeper.

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  4. I wish I would have kept all the letters from my exs...they would get you guys on a ROLL! But, I do absolutley LOVE this blog!

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  5. I think that she handled that wery well. Good on you, Angelina!

    Scary stuff: you're dating this guy for three years; seemingly normal, and then he turns into an erretic nutjob. Yikes, just plain Yikes!

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  6. Peter is trying the old, "win her back via blackmail" tactic. Works every time!

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  7. "Please be nice and treat me like a person that you use to love."

    I have an ex-boyfriend that I loved tremendously once, who I would now very much enjoy feeding to a wood chipper. There is nothing in the world that says someone for whom you once had feelings of love and affection is entitled to those same feelings (or even kindness) for all time. Especially when you are a whiny, nasty little douchebag.

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  8. He sounds like something an ex did to me. After HE dumped ME through text message, after he found someone else to take my place.

    He not only did this once, but twice. I was foolish enough to give him a second chance.

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  9. I'd be interested to know if he sent the message board posts to her bosses. I actually know someone who was fired from her job at work for posting on message board during her work hours. Even though it was a medical type board, she was still doing the posting on company time. A lot of posting, in fact. She made the powers that be on the medical site mad by questioning some of their tax free deductions etc. Anyway, shortly after she was banned from the website AND fired from her job. You gotta be careful out there people. Peter is a douchebag but I sure hope Angelina didn't lose her job.

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  10. Crazy creeper psycho. It's the narcissism that gets me - the "I can't believe you continue to breath without me"-ness of this. Scary. The high horse-ness too...just ugh. My eyes feel scuzzy just reading this psycho guy's tripe. *shiver*

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  11. So, it was the "I'm gonna get you fired, THEN and ONLY THEN will you realize how AMAZING I am." tactic.

    What a douche.

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  12. Peter put a profile up on a dating site, presumably because he either wanted out or was looking for some on the side, and he whines that ANGELINA is the problem? He needs to get his brain checked!

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  13. "But the performance piece was long over, and Angelina was ready to move on. She just needed that little extra kick to finally push her out of the house, and Peter eventually provided the foot: Angelina learned Peter had placed his profile on a local dating site."

    So she wants to leave, but won't just leave. She needs a false provocation first: something to pin this on so she can entirely blame him. Though it's okay. Her reality allows such conveniences as 'rebounds' to nurse her emotional recovery. Can it be a mock-up 3 year 'relationship' where they play house? Sure, whatever helps. When she's ready, she can leave him and get another man. It doesn't matter. They're convenient, disposable people. Whatever her emotions need.

    Convenient. Cheap.

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  14. The break up from Peter's and Peter jr.'s point of view...

    Before:

    Peter jr. "I'm bored!"

    Peter:
    "I'm pretty comfy up here..."

    Peter jr.
    "I'm boooored!"

    Peter:
    "Hmmm..."

    Peter jr.:
    "(as on a ghost of christmas past meets cherring rugby team)Cheat..Cheat...cheat!"

    Peter's and Peter jr.'s attempt at cheating is quickly foiled as neither are well endowed in terms of brains.

    Peter:
    "SHE broke up with ME?!"

    Peter jr.:
    "But I'm magnificent!"

    Peter:
    "SHE has a new bf?! Already?!"

    Peter Jr.:
    "Recognize the with and length of my glory!"

    Peter: (with quivering lips)
    "That ungrateful bitch!"

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  15. sorry, for the bad attempt at joking and spelling

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  16. clearly I can't do both

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  17. oh, story of my last relationship...except his name was Mike. Blech.

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  18. @Anonymous 8:41--Thanks for letting us know that there is a use-by date on rebounds!

    I love disposable people. They are delicious, especially with soy sauce and a hint of wasabi.

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  19. I am also curious to know whether or not he went through with his threat to report her message board postings. I mean, I'm not convinced that her boss would listen to a psycho stalker ex-boyfriend, and it seems like he's more talk than action (esp. considering the mounting like a trained seal comment, heh).

    Also, what did he expect to gain from that? Did he really think Angelina would think "OMG he's threatening me that's so freaking HAWT. DO ME."?? The thought process just defies logic.

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  20. @Kate: I like my disposable people with a nice hot mustard. Yum!

    I'd like to know if he followed through on his threat as well.

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  21. Stupid trolls.
    I didn't know there was some law telling women why they are or are not allowed to break up with someone after three years without a "good" reason, as defined by anonymous internet trolls. Silly me, I thought it was a free country and that if two people aren't married they can decide for any reason whatsoever that they are tired of the relationship and move on. But now I realized there's an invisible contract or something that says women must continue to stay in a relationship that is making them unhappy if they have done so for some certain unspecified amount of time? AMIRITE?

    Moron.

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  22. @ Raven: Exactly. And clearly she wasn't the only one who wasn't 100% happy in the relationship since he POSTED A PROFILE ON A DATING SITE. That's what really gets me about this one -- he has such a sense of entitlement about them being together, but he was the one who was scoping for new girls behind her back first.

    His ego was just wounded that she (a) did the breaking up and (b) got into a new relationship before he did.

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  23. I love this site so much. It was great to have so many new posts this week. Your descriptions and illiterations are beyond hilarious. Keep up the good work!

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  24. What a creep. This one gave me chills just reading it. The bad type, that make me want to lock every door/window in the house, and pace back and forth every night with a gun until my husband gets home!

    Keep it up!

    GH


    http://confessions-of-a-waitress.blogspot.com/

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  25. "Hopefully you will get fired but do not worry their is a lot of opportunity down there."

    UGH!! Why do these douchebags never seem to understand proper grammar? There is a difference between "their" and "there", and of course, "they're". Usually, I brush it off, but with a dick like this, I have to cut him up for it.

    Maybe he can learn the English language better by pouring over his restraining order...

    Oh, and Weasel, your writing inspires me. Write a book... please :)

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  26. If Peter only knew that we all read about him while we were at work. lolsnortlol!

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  27. holliebeanie, that's 'poring', not 'pouring'. ZING!

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  28. Just for the record, Weasel, we expect advance notice when your book comes out so we can pre-order our copies.

    I used to work for a domestic violence program and you would be stunned at the number of idiot schmucks who think they know "the law" when it comes to stalking and harassment. Much like our friend Peter, however, they usually discover rather quickly that what they thought was just "friendly contact" (sending your ex a cake which says "I hope you die" is totally friendly, right?) more often than not is seen a bit differently by the court.

    Idiots.

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  29. Let me get this straight: Peter the douchenozzle signs up for a dating site, moves out at Angelina's request, contacts her four months later, and is pissed off at HER for breaking up with him?

    It takes a special kind of stupid. Truly it does.

    As far as the postings go, I'm sure that Angelina only had to let her boss know about her stalker ex, and show him selected copies of the emails to nuke his credibility.

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  30. My eyes deceived me not!! Another new post this week!!

    This is the reason I keep coming back, lines like these that just keep me laughing:

    La Vaginelle de Angelina promptly closed for business, and the hostess informed Peter he needed to find a new place to eat.

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  31. Hmm. IF it is true (hard to believe someone like this!) that she was posting on company time and IF it is true that she was using the mentioned tax exemption status it sounds like they were perfect for each other.

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  32. oh please! As if slacking off a bit at work and not being perfect would warrant the use of black mail... Anon, you live in a strange alternate universe.

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  33. Huh....if I were him I'd be a little less concerned about the restraining order and lot more about being jailed on blackmail charges. I'd love to see an update on that and those who say "she derserved it"? Go back to your crappy little cave hole.

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  34. Anon@ 5:28

    You should see my traffic reports.

    My very detailed daytime traffic logs read like a printout of Fortune 500 companies. Nearly everyone logs on from work. In fact, I can tell when people are passing PLFM around the office.

    MOST people screw off at work on the internet. Not some people, MOST people, if not all. Me included, and 100% of the people I know. Literally, 100% of my friends. Lawyers, managers, creatives.

    That's like saying someone deserves a horrible boyfriend because they jaywalk when no cops are around.

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  35. Peter sounds like a needy little piece of work; he should learn when the relationship is over to move on. A barrage of psychotic emails and threats of blackmail are not how you move on, but it is how you end up on PLFM.

    Rock on Weasle “La Vaginelle de Angelina promptly closed for business” Genius, pure genius! Love the way you write, makes everything funny :)

    Hollybeanie I totally agree about there/their/they’re, same with your/you’re. It’s such a simple rule to learn, even if you have really bad spelling by learning to use your homonyms properly it makes your grammar substantially better.

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  36. I find the "she deserved it" posts really interesting...

    When I was 16 I got involved with a guy who was 21. He seemed really cool at first, and at 16 I was a silly little girl. It was a long distance relationship, so being exactly that - a silly little girl - I cheated, and had a 'home' boyfriend too. Needless to say, distance boyfriend found out.

    Now, being the kind, generous soul that he was, he let me have a second chance, and I went along with it, because I felt guilty that I had essentially been a little slag. But of course, he made me pay, and the punishment was severe. Without realising it, I let him change who I was to suit himself. I was with him for 3 years, and through that he started out with small things like introducing me to music which he liked and picking me clothes as a 'present', but by the end of the three years, he was deciding who I could or could not see. He also made it perfectly clear that he was seeing another girl as well as me, but of course, because I'd done the same there wasn't a damned thing I could do or I would have been a hypocrite. Eventually, I realised what was going on, and ended the relationship. I was terrified, because I didn't even know who I was any more. I was just some shell who, at 19, had been formed by someone else and had no personality of her own. But I was relieved, because I was free of him.

    Or so I thought. The emails started, and the phonecalls, and the MSN messages, and they were all totally split personality. "I love you, I miss you, we were amazing together, you were my angel, YOU SLUT YOU WHORE YOU BIG FUCKING BITCH." This carried on for about 6 months, and on top of not knowing who I was, he broke me down completely. I suffered what was essentially a mental breakdown. I couldn't eat, I couldn't get out of bed, everything made me cry, I started failing university, I wouldn't see anyone, except when I was out there slutting it up and throwing myself at any male who would pay attention...

    Eventually, I went to the doctor and they told me I should go on medication, but I refused, because I was already a shell, so I didn't want to feel completely numb as well.

    After several refusals they referred me to a specialist who thankfully managed to 'fix' me, and now I'm in a very stable, loving relationship with a wonderful man, and all of that mess is years behind me.

    But I leave all you people saying she deserved it with the question: Does the punishment fit the crime? Sure, she did something a bit naughty by messageboard posting during work, ut I am fairly sure that doesn't deserve a stalker who used blackmail.

    And if you think that IS a fitting punishment then you need to reassess your ability to judge the seriousness of stiuations.

    I did a bad thing at 16 and I will openly admit that it was wrong, but I'm fairly sure that I didn't deserve a full-scale mental breakdown as my punishment. Go figure.

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  37. mr. mrs. fangfaceJune 20, 2009 at 6:07 AM

    Well of course Angelina still has feelings for Pete. Granted, they're feelings of nausea, hatred, and revulsion, but they're still feelings.

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  38. mr. mrs. fangfaceJune 20, 2009 at 6:13 AM

    Anonymous 5:28:

    Really? *looks around* Are we being Punkd or something?

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  39. @dreamfolorn - I agree, she doesn't deserve it. He's not turning her in because it's the right thing to do (what a petty thing to be right about), but to get what he wants through coercion. And that's definitely not cool.

    @Raven - Yes, anyone can leave a relationship for any reason, even if it's been three years. It isn't easy for the other person... I became the other person a week ago in a relationship that lasted over three years, and it hurts so much. But acting in disbelief or denial, to the point of stalking and threats... well, that does disrespect to those past three years you did have. Why can't these people just mourn the loss, give some time for the ego to heal, and move on?

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  40. Wow. The cluelessness of some men continues to astound me. Yeah, threatening to get your ex fired and/or investigated for fraud (regardless of whether those charges are accurate) is TOTALLY the way to win back a gal's heart!!

    Oh, and I don't know anyone who doesn't occasionally check their email or something from work. Some places block social sites like facebook for that very reason - if nobody was doing it, it wouldn't get blocked!

    Great post, Weas.

    Megan @ adventuresofacarnivore.com

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  41. dreamfolorn: Thanks for the story. Your exploitation gave me an erection.

    Yes. People do know they're not supposed to do certain things on company time and should expect the consequences of getting caught. They deserve company discipline, and companies deserve to suck. How shit works.

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  42. @anonymous above:

    wow, you must be a real hit at dinner parties.

    but we understand that your pet spider just died, and like you, we'd take it out on the world, too.

    just stay nice to grandma so she doesn't kick you out of the house.

    could you imagine? just think, if you got kicked out of her basement, you would be forced to actually talk to real girls for once in your life rather than plastic ones.

    wah!!!! theyre so mean to me!!!!! i'm going to lash out now!!! wheres my nipple!!!!

    trolls say so little in their comments, but at the same time they really say so much

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  43. Anon's rhetorical means can be reduced to a fairly limited number of verbal strategies:

    1. Claiming ignorance on the part of the offender:
    Making the supposition that malevolent actions are not based on malevolent intentions, but due to an unfortunate ignorance in regards to social conventions. While this might be true in some cases rapported on PLFM, he blatantly ignoreres the fact that if it is so, society widely recognizes that you ought to be placed within the confines of some sort of an institution.

    2. Blaiming the victim:
    Questioning her commicative abilities, while refering to a highly selective reading of narrated event and/or attacking the victims moral credibility.

    3. Understating the suffering of the wictim.

    4. Attacking his opponents:
    Attributing the style and/or content of criticism to assumptions concerning their physical, moral and/or social self, while not adressing the state of affairs contained within the message.

    5.) Taxing the patience of opponents by employing obsceneties, thereby pandering to his delusions of being the superior by claiming the rights of the famous last words.

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  44. doctressjulia... You got me. *applauds* I complain about grammar and spelling, and every now and then,someone gets me. I am humbled, haha. :)

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  45. "Damn, Williamsburg, you got fucking OOOOWWWNNED!"
    LMAO with tears in my eyes...DAMN Williamsburg damn you anyways!!!

    "I hope that you will let go of the hate that you have inside and realize that you still have feelings for me."

    A serious WTF dude...you are kind of a dumbass aren't you?!

    "Go ahead and shoot your blanks, Peter."

    There really was a pun intended there right? LOL

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  46. You know, I gotta say something. I just cannot understand why Peter's threats of blackmail didn't help Angelina realize how much she actually loved him. Why didn't she run back to him to beg his forgiveness? I mean, a tactic like that...pure romance.

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  47. Artemis: WTF you responding to? Most of the regular, 'non-troll' posters here do the exact same thing. The concept of 'obscene' language is itself absurd.

    You bring up words that get carelessly repeated here: blaming the victim. Arguing you shouldn't blame the victim supposes a point to be proven: that they are in fact a victim. Whether there is a victim and who is a victim of what is contentious. Objecting to 'blaming the victim' when someone is debating who the victim is (not) begs the question.

    It has another problem. Does pronouncing someone victim serve a proper reason to exempt consideration of their role or of standards? Does it make their otherwise bad ideas or bad judgment no longer bad? Logically, no. Arguing it does is some combination of special pleading and appealing to pity--2 well known fallacies. It's often a desperate move to keep arguments one-sided.

    tl;dr 'Blaming the victim' needs to expire. Take some cold, hard logic and eat it. Delicious!

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  48. Anon at 2;48, I agree completly.

    Logic! Perfect in interpersonal relationships! Especially when that said realtionship is based on cold hard logic and not, yknow, messy messy emotions. How dare anyone respond emotionally!

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  49. Here's some cold, hard logic for ya:

    Stagnant relationship + boyfriend who post profile on online dating site = breakup

    Harrassing ex-girlfriend you didn't like much when you were dating + pathetic attempts to blackmail x multiple emails/texts to her and ner new boyfriend = douchenozzle ex-boyfriend.

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  50. Oh, and more logic:

    Posting douchenozzle ex-boyfriend's rants on PLFM = EPIC LULZ.

    MOAR LULZ PLS

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  51. Pseudo-intellectual Anon. is pontificating again. PIA, thanks for providing us with more cheese to go with our crackers.

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  52. I think we've all known this type of guy at some point! They can't stand to lose or move on unless they are the ones who "dump"...

    love the blog! and the comment section is a hoot too!

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  53. Fa Sheezay: Fails reading comprehension.
    >Logic! Perfect for reasoning!
    fix'd

    Anonymous 1, 2: Fails logic.

    Both: Anonymous's deconstruction of an overused, illogical objection says nothing about relationships.

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  54. Anonymous's deconstruction of an overused, illogical objection says nothing about relationships.

    This wasn't a relationship. It was a douche stalking his ex-girlfriend. Even if Angelina was the Devil (which I doubt), the thing for Pee-wee Petey to do would be to MOVE THE FUCK ON instead of volunteering to be our lulzcow.

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  55. Sometimes this site makes me laugh until rivulets of urine wend their way insistently down my inside leg, and sometimes it causes me to despair of the male category of humanity entirely. This post is impressive in that it has produced both reactions.

    Dry cleaning bill in the mail, Weasel.

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  56. Kinda reminds me of my ex, when I was getting my divorce. He tried to blackmail me, but used actions of his that were illegal, and told me I shouldn't break up with him because the email I found in his truck was stuff he was keeping to blackmail his underage internet girlfriend (1500 miles away, thank heaven) by threatening to tell her parents, since she was threatening to tell law enforcement. Yeah - that was a winner, right there. It never occurred to him that he would implicate himself in either case. As it was, I notified my attorney of the underage girlfriend, who advised that (in that day and age) we couldn't really prove she was as young as she said, and that no further action on our parts was reasonable. For him, he also tried to argue that I was no better because while he was a chronically underemployed, serial cheating emotional abuser, I picked my nails, didn't shave my legs every day, and didn't keep the house as clean as he would have expected. Good times, good times. Kinda makes my current marriage seem dull, except the new husband makes "boring" a blast!

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  57. Anon 2.48

    Do you really think that it is contentious whether extorting an former girlfriend for the purpouse of gaining sexual favours should be categorized as an immoral and harmful act?

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  58. I love when trolls get on and use words demeaning to gays. Really.... ? "Faggot"? This isn't 6th grade gym class. We get it. You are totally super manly. We're blown away by it.

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  59. They'd get flattened if they used half the words they throw around here in real life.

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  60. Artemis: What you did there was pose a complex question. You don't know his intentions. You presume it's to gain sexual favors, which is stupid. There are other possibilities. Maybe by that point he just hates her and wants to see her burn.

    Anonymous, hellkell: Only misguided faggots get offended by language. My homosexual friends derisively call things gay and people faggots. They're enlightened enough to not give a shit. How do you know I'm not a faggot?

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  61. Ignore the trolls, ladies. They don't believe what they write and neither should you. Seriously, ignore.

    As to the story, wow. Deranged men are so very romantic! Wtf did he even want out of her, really? Maybe we can cover him with cow and drop him into the velociraptor paddock. THEY SHOULD ALL BE DESTROYED.

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  62. Aw, how cute--Commander One Note is back and wants to argue semantics.

    I don't know if you're gay, but I'm reasonably sure you're stunningly ignorant of how the real world works.

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  63. Anon 8.22
    If he just wanted to see her burn he would have sent the stuff to her boss in lieu of making empty, cowardly, threats. Anyway, that would hardly makes his actions moral or acceptable in terms of what is considered legal!

    Somehow I don't think that a judge would buy his whiny "buuut she broke up with ME!" defence.

    Concerning the use of the word faggot: when your gay friends use it, it's an act of empowerment, especially in the context of a gay friendly setting. However, I doubt that they would employ it in this context. Due to the anonymity of the adresser it regains it's function as signifiying acts male of homosexuality as something offensive

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  64. Artemis: Law ≠ morals. He could send the information and make "cowardly threats". Submitting compromising information about an employee to an employer (ie, snitching) may or may not be illegal. It probably is not, since the information is publicly accessible from the internet. Bottom line: the prevailing thought on this matter is presumptuous and specious.

    Concerning the word faggot: it's a word. They're not using it to empower. They're using it as a staple of derogatory language like anyone else (not oversensitive and white). What a shocking idea, right? Who let homosexuals be like everyone else? Fuck.

    Maybe it's not language that matters but ideas. Maybe they get offended by poorly reasoned ideas that lead to bad policies, like denying homosexual civil unions the rights of heterosexual civil unions, because a government failed to keep religious influence out and, in the tradition of specific religions, discriminately calls the heterosexual civil unions 'marriage'.

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  65. "I hope that you will let go of the hate that you have inside and realize that you still have feelings for me."

    OMG.... hey, doucheboy, thanks for telling me what I'm feeling! :-P

    What a slimy little loser. Who conveniently forgot that he was trying to cheat on his gf.

    The only thing worse than a musk-slinging Alpha Male is a shit-slinging Failed Alpha.

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  66. What a creep. I'm glad Angelina got the restraining order. She may also find an anti-creep stick to be in order here.

    "La Vaginelle de Angelina."
    I love it, Weasel. :D

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  67. @ anon 5.28 ...and anon 8.41 (Who wrote this)--->

    ""But the performance piece was long over, and Angelina was ready to move on. She just needed that little extra kick to finally push her out of the house, and Peter eventually provided the foot: Angelina learned Peter had placed his profile on a local dating site."

    So she wants to leave, but won't just leave. She needs a false provocation first: something to pin this on so she can entirely blame him. Though it's okay. Her reality allows such conveniences as 'rebounds' to nurse her emotional recovery. Can it be a mock-up 3 year 'relationship' where they play house? Sure, whatever helps. When she's ready, she can leave him and get another man. It doesn't matter. They're convenient, disposable people. Whatever her emotions need.

    Convenient. Cheap."


    .....

    Peter? Peter, is that you..?

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  68. Look dude, my point was that he DID threaten her and in way that is likely to be interpreted as attempted black-mail. While the former is immoral, the latter is highly illegal. The question of intent is irrelevant. Anyway, merely wanting to torture an ex-girlfriend, whose only "crime" was dumping a guy when his eyes started to wander, only makes him slightly less creepy as far as I'm concerned.

    Btws, your rant on the subject of gay marriage seems rather out of place and somewhat presumtious. Why my distaste in regards to the use of the word faggot would make me a sufferer of white middle class guilt and an opponent of gay marriage, is beyond me.

    Actually, it kinda made me chuckle. Where I live gay couples are not only allowed to marry but to adopt, which I wholly support. Middle class guilt hardly exist as about 80 % of the population is some shade of middle class. We do, however, highly dislike rich people and pay about half of our earnings in taxes.

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  69. Artemis,
    Its ok if they say faggot, because they have gay friends that say faggot. Just like, you know, its cool if they use the N-word, because they have black friends that do.

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  70. Artemis, please realize that these trolls are nothing more than your personal lulzcows. Milk their douchebaggery for all its worth and mock them if you're bored, but don't expect logic or honest arguments from them. These are inbred, limp-dick channers who try to push buttons while they pop pimples in their parents' basement.

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  71. Well, Perez Hilton just got punched the fuck out for calling someone a faggot, and he's gay. Our lil' anon's theory about "it's just words" is right out the window.

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  72. okay, on the behest of you non-troll folk I'll stop indulging them. Sadly my poor quality postings of late clearly indicate how I'm bored with studying and desperate for distraction..

    Love the stories, ladies, keep them coming!

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  73. Artemis: "and in way that is likely to be interpreted as attempted black-mail"

    No. Your presumption is false. Black-mail requires a demand. Read the letter in question: no demand. The charge wouldn't hold up in court. Your claim is unfounded.

    "Btws, your rant [...]" tl;dr It went over your head. "Gay marriage" was an example.

    Getting offended over and objecting to issues that matter is useful and important. Getting offended over and objecting to language is oversensitive and useless thought-policing. The homos I know get offended over issues that matter like denying homosexuals rights. Moreover, getting offended on other people's behalf is so middle-class, white: you're so much part of a majority that can't even ass themselves to pick on a serious issue, because they have none, so they dally with other people's toy issues that mean shit.

    hellkell:
    Well, Dr. Tinnel just got shot the fuck out for late-term abortions, and he's pro-choice. Our lil' anon's theory about "women's rights" is right out the window.
    fix'd (same logic)

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  74. Yeah, because I dislike that you used the word faggot I'm a politically non-committant white middle class person, whereas I shouldn't dare to presume that Peter requesting that Angelina "be nice to him", while threathening to get her fired, should be interpretated as being a demand of sorts.... Interesting...

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  75. That anonymous person must be the slimy, good for nothing, waste of douche water, douche bag in question.

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  76. This thread has taken a turn for the unhuggy, and I, for one, am rivuleted. I mean riveted.

    *slap*

    *slap*

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  77. Anonymous @10:12 --
    Fix'd? You utter fucking loser, get shit right or bow the fuck out. Tiller, not Tinnel.

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  78. "faggot"

    Heh... One time we were taking a walk a few weeks after an ice storm, and everyone was still cleaning up. It was the first nice spring day, and others were walking too.

    My husband said "Hey look! Faggots!"

    I was shocked ... until I saw that he was point to bundles of sticks tied together with string ....

    :-P

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  79. I would just like to say my ex was just like this only a few weeks ago. Really similar threats and the same twisted logic. 'I love you and want you to love me still, but I am going to make you suffer bitch'. Incredible. I didn't think there were many more idiots like him around.

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  80. so...did we ever hear anything new about Angelina? I really want to know waht happened next! These are great

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    ReplyDelete