Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Anita Lopez and the Blue Cross Blue Shield Association

PLFM reader AS writes in to share a bizarre website currently making the rounds on the internet.

"John" used to work at Blue Cross Blue Shield Association with a woman named Anita Lopez. BCBSA somehow ended up firing John, and John apparently blames the loss of his job on Anita Lopez.

Since his firing John has constructed an entire website devoted to Ms. Lopez, half of which seems to demonize her for trying to take advantage of him, yet the other half very plainly professing his undying love for her.

I think PLFM reader AS puts it best:

"If Marcel Proust was a self-involved IT contractor for Blue Cross Blue Shield, this is what he would have written in the 21st century."

The website is huge; you'll find phone calls John recorded and uploaded, his complete psychological breakdown of Anita's personality, a list of restaurants they enjoyed, and several "timelines" of his relationship with her before, during and after his firing.

He also offers a recollection of his fondest moments with her which, we might note, seem to us like very normal everyday situations that John really reads too much into.

You certainly won't read the whole thing, but it's worth a look.

Anita Lopez and the Blue Cross Blue Shield Association

Fond Memories of Anita

Let us know what you guys think in the comments.


  1. The smiley face rating system is all I needed to know who the real bitch is.

  2. That guy certainly loves HIMSELF, doesn't he?

    Everything he writes just oozes smarmy, aren't-I-a-wonderful-person BS.

    It's all about him, and how great he is to and for other people, and nobody really appreciates the wonderfulness that is him. Puke.

  3. I think I need to vomit.

  4. So, he seems pretty pathetic, reading into all of those situations.

    But at the same time, he sounds pretty justifiably angry about the situation. If I refused to give someone at work a substantial loan and then was fired a month, I'd be bit suspicious.

    But there are adult ways of dealing with things. Putting up a website is not one of those ways.

    Not sure this is up to your usual, Weasel.

  5. I think the best part of this are the selections from his book, wherein he expounds on lessons learned from his various loves.

    Something I did too, yes, but I was 12.

  6. Why do I suspect that this guy uses Linux?

  7. Dunno, guys. Yes, I agree this website he put up and posted all these stories is over the top, and there is a lot of smugness to the whole tone of it, it doesn't mean he doesn't have a point to make and that he hasn't been wronged. The "lunch tapes" pique my curiosity; women who are being harrassed generally DO NOT call men to do lunch.

    Bottom line? He's probably right that she's a manipulative bitch, but he's quite the bitch himself to give us all this chapter and verse.

  8. Wow... I've had those types of encounters with co-workers and how I didn't end up with a stalker is beyond me LOL

    This guy is so into himself. Un-fucking-believable.

    36 & Single

  9. I seriously doubt he was an innocent victim in all of this. I've always instinctively distrusted websites like this because it really is only one side of the story - and that side is smug, obsessive, generally ludicrous and unnecessarily emotive. Who knows what's wrong with him. If he has any sort of mood disorder, his memories of all of these events are most likely skewed. Now, I'm not saying that she wasn't fond of having a sugar daddy and she probably got pissed when it went away. But I'll bet there's more reason to him getting fired than her manipulating the management.

  10. mr. mrs. fangfaceJuly 23, 2009 at 8:11 AM

    Anon 7:33:

    We have no idea what actually went on between these two. Everything this dude has recorded and whatnot has no context (real context, not the one he created for the website). The "Lunch Tapes" are only fifteen second voice mails asking him if he wants to do lunch and that he should call her back. We have no idea when these actually happened or what was going on between these two when Anita left these messages. There's no real way to tell who (if anyone) was being a "bitch" before this website went up. For me, there's just not enouch there to slap down a "probably" about their relationship. As far as I can tell, "John" and Anita had a normal that relationship that just broke down and John freaked. But that's still just a guess.

  11. Anon7:33, I don't get the feeling she was harassed, just that Mr. Wonderfulness is pissed that he got fired and is blaming it on her, for whatever reason.

    Whether or not his claims are valid, are up to the legal system to decide.

    I sincerely doubt that he has a wrongful termination suit against BCBS, because whining about it on the interwebz is a great way to get such a suit dismissed. Which makes his protestations about being an innocent victim of a femme fatale extremely suspect.

    It appears that he just wants to bitch and moan about how he was "taken advantage of" by someone clearly inferior to his perfect person and how "she got him fired".

    Couldn't POSSIBLY have been because he didn't play well with others or did a shitty job, now could it?

  12. mr. mrs. fangfaceJuly 23, 2009 at 8:23 AM

    Here's a favorite quote of mine from his main page, after a crappy joke about asking those with BCBS insurange to asking their insurer to donate a few dollars to the Anita Lopez lunch fund:

    "Done't let that little bit of humor detract from the serious nature of this website. But you've got to have some fun in life, too..."

    Right, because John's personality totally oozes anything other than crazy-ass fun-sucker. XD

    I wonder just how much crazy he's got lurking below the surface and how long it takes before it breaks free. :O

  13. mr. mrs. fangfaceJuly 23, 2009 at 8:32 AM

    (*sigh* Blogger really needs an edit function....)

    Revision to comment at 8:11:

    Okay, so by relationship I don't necessarily mean romantic or anything to that extent.

    Maybe "John" had secret unrequited feelings for Anita. So maybe when he got fired, he sees this as some sort of double-rejection from Anita, both professionally and romantically. Maybe.

    In any case, we do know that John's got a warped sense of reality and far too much free time.

  14. I lived next to a guy like this in college. I was 23 at the time and he was about 54 (same age as my parents!) ... he mowed our yard in return for letting his dogs run around in our yard for exercise. He seemed like a normal ex-military dude at first, and as the year went on we became friends and I would do favors (normal, neighborly favors, you sickos) for him while he was out, like letting his dogs out to use the bathroom, pick up things for him from the grocery (he didn't have a car), and water his plants for him when he was visiting relatives. Towards the end of the year when it was getting close to move-out time, he professed his undying love for me and said that he knew I "felt it too", as evidence by all the nice things I'd done for him throughout the year. I was stunned ... and appalled, disgusted, flabbergasted, etc. I immediately stopped all contact after I broke it to him that the "feelings weren't mutual", and counted down 'till move-out day.

    I started dating someone else about that time, and still hadn't talked to Neighbor McCreeperson. One morning I checked the mail and there was a letter in there, detailing how McCreeperson thought the new man I was dating was a creep, would abuse me and eventually abuse the children we had together. Our marriage would end in divorce and I would be miserable.

    There is sooo much more to the story ... add to it that halfway through the year this guy claimed he was born bi-gendered as a lesbian female, had castration surgery shortly after I moved out, and is now married to a woman (while dressing as a woman) is just the tip of the iceberg. Weas, if you want the whole thing, just let me know. Sometimes when I think about it I feel like that whole year was a bad dream.

  15. I'd like to hear Anita's side. No way I could read that guy's whole website: way too much info.

    Next time, just the facts, Jack!

  16. So many great quotes hidden in that website. Personal favorite so far:

    "Once when we were coming back from lunch, she wanted to sit for a while in the sun before going back to work. There were landscaped areas out front where we worked, and she sat down on the wooden seating that formed the perimeter of those areas. She asked me to have a seat, and I said I never sat on things like that because they’re always dusty. She said it was clean. I took out a handkerchief, wiped off an area next to her, and we sat for a while."

    That is quite telling of his personality.

  17. I really like how he takes credit for her post-surgery healing. He prayed for her! Wow! Well then she certainly owes her continued good health to this man. And the old man in Spain who dropped dead, because god has a system of checks and balances and stuff - there's only so much good health to go around.

  18. Whoa! I hope Anita Lopez gets a good lawyer and then runs far from this pschyo! He sure seems like he's got something wrong in the head!

  19. Dear lord, this reminds me of something similar that happened to me, sans the asking for a loan bit.
    The guy was awesome, I enjoyed hanging out with him, but he got it in his head that we were soul mates and would throw a fit any time I turned around and spent time with my then-BF (now fiance') to the point that he would demand to know what time my BF was leaving to drive back up to Boston. I could generally guarantee that he would be at my apartment within the next hour, hanging out and sprawling all over the place. I came to realize this behaviour as that of a dog "marking its territory".
    While he did not actually put up a website, what he did do was take notes about everything we did together, and write at length about the warm fuzzies he felt with me. He used to drop portions of it on my windshield so I would find them when I came out in the morning. He even soaped my windows... by writing a love poem in German -so my BF couldn't read it and get angry, he later told me. He was being thoughtful by not causing strife yet limiting my visibility out the back of my car. GG.
    And what did he do with all of these accumulated notes, and additional photos of us together? When I began the process of moving in with my BF he sent an email proclaiming he had folders full of information proving that I had cheated on him with Mr. Note-Taker. The photos? Apparently he'd taken them when I'd fallen asleep two or three times at his house out of exhaustion for working 4 12-hour shifts back to back. I woke up once to find him carefully undressing me and suspect he did this other times, the source of these lewd "cheating" photos he purportedly had. (After that incident I was not stupid enough to continue hanging out with him. It was pretty obvious he was obsessed.)
    I have no idea if a website went up about any of this, as the first thing I did was turn around and block him on every social network and IM service we both used and set up my email to filter his messages straight to trash. I don't think it would've been nearly as successful if I hadn't moved 100 miles away in the middle of all of that and never once hinted at my new location online. I'm sure he had a similar sob-story where he was horribly wronged and I'm just lucky I never had to hear it.

  20. "BUST A MOVE" and ellipsis abuse of the highest order! Why did he think he could write a book?

  21. I'm with MackTruck on this one: this guy is pure stalker material.The whole smiley-face rating system just confirmed that he's a first class FREAK! He reminds me of Ted Bundy.

    Doesn't someone have an old building where we can lock up these weirdos on PLFM ?!!!!!!

  22. Anyone else think he's just a little too insistent on the other women he was dating. "No, I couldn't possibly have been creepily stalking Anita! I was banging all these other girls..."

    He also has a lot of emphasis on her daughter in there, including buying her gifts, etc. Now I'm absolutely not saying this is his motivation, but as a single mom AND an attorney who works with sex offenders, having a guy I hadn't been with very long put that much attention on my kids set my radar off.

  23. You know, the thing where he said that god could take something from him as long as Anita came through the surgery okay?

    Dear John, god has decided that in exchange for keeping your dear friend Anita alive, he's going to take your job and your self-respect. thanks so much!

  24. Wow,
    what's all this "warmth" stuff he keeps talking about? and who brings someone at work all these presents (really nice presents) and stuff and REALLY doesn't want anything physical in return?? His comment about kissing on the first date just doesn't match up with all his other comments. I always enjoy your posts,weasel, this guy is just a bit too creepy for me......

  25. Damned Fallacy, yeah, his whole emphasis on her daughter really set off my Creep-O-Meter.

    His whole site and emphasis on himself and how saintly and wonderful he is set off a LOT of alarm bells with me.

    His diatribe about Anita and how she wasn't "all that" sounds like someone got rebuffed and is a TAD miffed about it.

    He obviously believes he's better/smarter/more attractive than anyone else, and to be rejected by someone who he thinks should have been flattered by all his attention really ticked him off.

    To misquote Shakespeare, 'Methinks the lad doth protest too much'.

    Creepy perv/stalker vibes and an inflated sense of self-worth don't make a very flattering picture of this guy.

  26. Dude needs to get a grip. Contractors are in a weird area and can be let go whenever. I think he's making a bitchy, whiny, BAWWWW some more mountain out of a molehill.

    It seems to me that he is skating on the edge of libel. Not an attorney, so I don't know, but he seems on shaky ground here (any attys in the house want to educate me?). I like how he's pretty much fucked himself in terms of finding new work with this website. Google can help you or hurt you.

  27. OK, I just read the "fond memories." Holy shit. Easter baskets for kid? Jewelry for her? Wow.

    He's a raging nutbar, but I wouldn't take gifts like he gave her from a guy I'm just friends with. Raging nutbars have bad boundaries and shouldn't be encouraged.

  28. Hellkell, he's been pestering BCBSA, too. All kinds of crazy goin' on!

    If he REALLY had a case for unjustified employment termination as I said in an earlier post, he'd have gone straight to an attorney and not said one damned word on a public forum.

    As it is, I feel sorry for the folks on the other end of the e-mails and phone calls from this freak.

  29. I tried reading the front page...then the 'wah-wah-wah' that the adults speak in Charlie Brown specials started replacing the words.

    Still, I was able to gather that he was a dick and a stalker.

  30. "Whether or not his claims are valid, are up to the legal system to decide."
    False. Law does not magically make truth. Things are already true or not.

    "I sincerely doubt that he has a wrongful termination suit against BCBS, because whining about it on the interwebz is a great way to get such a suit dismissed."
    Is it?

    "Couldn't POSSIBLY have been because he didn't play well with others or did a shitty job, now could it?"
    It could. Do you know?

  31. Welcome back trolls! We were wondering when you'd show up. :)

  32. '"Once when we were coming back from lunch, she wanted to sit for a while in the sun before going back to work. There were landscaped areas out front where we worked, and she sat down on the wooden seating that formed the perimeter of those areas. She asked me to have a seat, and I said I never sat on things like that because they’re always dusty. She said it was clean. I took out a handkerchief, wiped off an area next to her, and we sat for a while."'

    'That is quite telling of his personality.'

    Indeed. He doesn't like to sit on dirt.

  33. "Welcome back trolls! We were wondering when you'd show up. :)"
    lol Someone raises reasoned objections. Therefore, they are a troll.

  34. Outside of a libel or slander charge, I think she might be able to sue him for intentionally inflicting emotional distress.

    Try paying for that, plus lawyer fees when no one will hire you for a new job.

  35. "It seems to me that he is skating on the edge of libel."
    "Outside of a libel or slander charge, I think she might be able to sue him for intentionally inflicting emotional distress."
    It's defamation (learn a new word, faggots) only if the statements are false.

  36. He sounded a little off to me, spectrum-disordery or something. Doesn't relieve him of the asshole charge, of course.

  37. I'm starting to understand why he got fired...having a dessert renamed for her while they were out for lunch?

    No, that's not creepy at all.

  38. Forgot to mention the can easily see they her arm is NOT around him and she has a "God help me get this jackass away from me" look on her face.

  39. So, you created a website where you go on and on and on about this woman, but, really, you aren't that bothered?

    Pull the other one!

    Anyway, I might just have had a smidge of sympathy for his plight if he'd simply admitted to liking this person and feeling hurt when she supposedly mistreated him.

    Writing a sulky contradictory rant about poor, detached, you and putting it on the web, will only make it harder for him to find a job. Potential employers google your name for Christ's sake! How can he be working within the field of IT and not realize that?!

    Of course, then he can blame Anita for that too...

  40. "My friendship for her was all about the feeling I call warmth. Her life is not particularly interesting and she’s not much of a conversationalist, so ordinarily I wouldn’t have spent much time with her. But for some reason, I felt the most extraordinary warmth for her. She knew that, and in the end she tried to take advantage of it for financial gain."

    Raging lunatic. He most definitely is one.

    I wonder if her complaint that got him fired actually had everything to do with his obvious obsession for her, and nothing to do with his (possibly fabricated? he seems pretty ill) story of rebuffing her request for money and subsequently getting revengifired.

  41. "In retrospect, I think BCBSA fired me simply to keep me from bringing up anything potentially illegal or unethical about the behavior of their employee, Ms. Lopez....BCBSA simply wanted to make a potential problem go away as quietly as possible, ethics be damned. Their behavior, as well as that of Ms. Lopez, is reprehensible....I don’t understand why people don’t want to do the right thing more often. In this case, all they had to do [was] tell her she had to be more cooperative at work...."



    his thoughts on love are also madness.

  43. @Anon 6:37: LOL, he is pretty much vacationing on another planet.

  44. It's really sad and pathetic. Why put all that mental energy into this chick when she gives you nothing? It's masochism.

    The saddest thing? She isn't really that good looking at all.

  45. Does anyone else think it's a bit odd (in a whole steaming hot tub of odd) that he meticulously documents every sum of money - gifts, lunches, you name it - except the frequently-mentioned 'substantial sum' she allegedly asked to borrow? Why has he come over all coy about that? Maybe because $100 or so isn't that impressive?
    He's a computer geek with a weakness for philosophy. He's not very good at philosophy, but never mind. Neither philosophers or computer geeks are known for their emotional intelligence. They're far better at abstract concepts, and are often prone to misreading people's behavior.
    And I speak as a practicing computer geek with three degrees in philosophy.

  46. What a passive agressive little bitch!! I kind of wonder if that warm feeling he was always talking about wasn't shortly followed by a wet feeling running down his pantleg. What a complete and utter douchebag!!

  47. I'd be interested to know why he felt the need to be taping her phone calls even before she allegedly asked him for this loan. This does not come across as the behaviour of a mentally balanced person! Taping phone calls, tallying up the number of hours spent together, tallying up the amount spent on her, making her gifts, making her child gifts & reading way too much into her just doing what was necessary to do her job seems like classic stalker behavior to me & having been on the receiving end of such behavior I am speaking from experience.

  48. This guy is a total self-centered, whiny jerk. The enounters are warm to him because of what *he* brought to them, not what *she* got out of them. She says she's broken a heel on her shoe and wants to pass on lunch so he suggests walking to somewhere nearby. When they go to lunch, her showing off the dress and sandals is flirting (because what else could it be? Not that she thinks it's a good look because then it wouldn't be about him.) He feels all proud of what he did for her daughter on Easter because isn't he just so great for doing what he knows others would never do, and what Anita herself would probably never think to do, so it's on poor ole him to *longsufferingsigh* make the effort and spend the money for the kid and then no one is even grateful enough to gush with praise and thanks for days and days. *twitch* Pardon me while I go hurl.

    I'd love to know why he thinks his refusal to give her a loan is tied to why he was fired. Couldn't possibly be something wrong on his end, because it's impossible he could actually have responsiblity in this. Whatever goes wrong is obviously someone else's fault. I used to have a friend was only too happy to tell me (repeatedly) how I'd hurt her in the huge fight that led up to the end of our friendship and to list the problems I needed to work on, but if I told her how I'd felt hurt by things she'd said and did, she either a) apparently ignored it or b) came back at me about how I was refusing to let things go and not taking responsiblity for what I'd done and was putting blame on her for what went wrong (this was after I'd apologized repeatedly for things I'd said and done and stated I knew I'd contributed to the problems between us). Anita's life is better for not having this guy in it anymore.

  49. Looks like he meets the criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

  50. I, for one, think that this is the creepiest guy yet. I have been dating someone seriously for two years and don't think I know as much about him as he does about her (not because he's hiding it from me but because I don't catalogue every freaking comment he has made about his past and who he dates). This guy is clearly obsessed with her. Who knows why he got fired? What we do know is that he has too much time on his hands.

  51. "I just held her closely and quietly for a short time, no roaming hands or anything like that...sometimes stillness is better than motion. I didn't feel much coming from her, but that wasn't necessary for me to feel warm."

    So. Yeah. He sounds just dreamy! No matter what the exact details of the whole story are, everything about his website and the personality he displays there makes him probably the best candidate so far for PLFM feature of the year! He's even "better" than Douche Quadbike.

  52. Wow....

    I think I liked how far he read into the 15 second phone messages the best!

  53. Just read some of his thoughts on love:

    Looking past my initial urge to hurl, I found it quite amusing to witness his pourly masked Jackie Collinesque definition of love as something an easy, mythic, not need to be proclaimed, having indeed no practical purpouse, transcending sex, sort of union.

    That's not love, that's being in lust and the absence of hard times! I'm hardly any great fan of marriage, but the for better and for worse part does have it's merit as a defining criteria.

    (No offence meant to people who are divorced. The simple fact that you stay married is not necessarily a testament to strength.)

    In this case the proper translation of "selfproclaimed romantic" is "narcissistic ass"!

  54. Wow, reminds me of my workplace crush! People tell me that I'm mad, that there's no way a 23 year old with a Ph.D. would be interested in a 50 year old data entry clerk, but I can see the signs...

    What about the time we were in a meeting and she looked at me with such unfettered scorn that could only mean that she was madly in love with me?

    Or the time I came within inches -- INCHES I SAY! -- of her in the break room. Sheer bliss.

    Or the countless times she gave me her sweet smile (I know, I've seen the same smile on baby's faces right before they vomit, but she's so... so... different!)...

    It's love
    I just know it.

  55. Curt - hee, that's great; you gave me a good laugh after a hard shift at work. XD

  56. Oh my goodness, I don't care whether he was entirely innocent or the sole aggressor in this: that website is absolutely terrifying and psychotic and Anita Lopez needs to get a restraining order or something.

  57. So uh....way to be off topic here but uh

    " She was wearing a summer dress and she was lightly flirting in the way she showed off her legs and her new sandals."

    Sometimes, a new pair of sandals is just a new pair of sandals. Chill the fuck out.

  58. My only response to the dude's website is tl;dr.

    Also, I work for a large IT company and while we have some whiny bitches who need to grow a pair, this guy will never work for my company. They check out candidates on the internets and this guy's name is all over his website that I'm sure involves lots of whining about his former employer. Nice.

  59. I just read the Fond Memories section...what's hilarious (and quite telling) is that none of the "warmth" he feels is coming from Anita; it's coming from his own smug sense of how awesome he is.

    And he very much fits the typical profile of a Nice Guy(tm): being super-nice to someone who he perhaps believes is below his standards, because he figures she'll have to be so slobberingly, abjectly grateful for the attention that she'll reward it with crazy monkey sex.

    His condescension comes through the strongest when he talks about making an elaborate easter basket for Anita and her daughter--and says "I knew that nobody else was going to do that for her, and I thought that she might not take time to do that for her daughter."

    So, clearly he's targeted Anita as the object of his affections because he thinks she's not attractive/loveable enough for anyone else to be nice to her--so no competition. Apparently she's also hopeless at parenting and will throw herself at his feet because he takes better care of her daughter than she does.

    I think this is where Nice Guys get their bitterness from--because they kissed the ass of a woman who (in their opinion) didn't even deserve it and she still didn't put out. What these guys need to remember is that everyone has different tastes, and so the "substandard" woman they're trying to woo may in fact have tons of genuine suitors. Alternately, maybe she thinks the Nice Guy is hideous and all the easter baskets in the world aren't gonna help.

  60. In fairness to him, I could only stand to read snippets of the journal entries, so my thinking is based on only that, but someone above mentioned Narcissic Personality Disorder, and it is likely that coupled with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder(OCD) that drives him. He should seek professional help, and Anita should look into legally protecting herself.

  61. But what did he actually do to get him fired? Did she just bushwhack him cause she got sick of him or what?

    I'd love to hear her side of the story.

    The fact that he bought all those lunches for her (150?) and she never paid a cent means that he is a first class loser and doormat. But it also makes her into a user to be sure.
    No matter what she doesn't come across so well in this thing.

    So it is again puzzling that he put any energy at all into her. What a complete waste. He acts like he's doing her a favor by psycho-analyzing her relationships and such. Pathetic.

  62. i didn't read all the comments, but i did see several where people complained that we only know one side of the story, so therefore there isn't any way to know what exactly went on with these two. well, that's true, but the funny thing is, all other stories on this blog have always been one sided, haven't they? i'm not saying that all these stories are always skewed and misjudged, because the emails from psychos usually set the record straight; i'm just merely pointing out how weird it is to me that people are only complaining about this now.

    my take on things: yeah, the guy is hugely immature and obviously has weird obsessive issues with the woman. anyone who feels the need to make such a long-winded web-site going on about how marvelous they are is ridiculous, but i don't think the girl in this story is the victim, either. like many said, there probably is more to why he got fired that hasn't been brought up, and even several things he said himself sort of gave that away [between the margins]. in a nutshell, they're both probably assholes. i don't like manipulative bitches any more than i do self-serving douche bags. hopefully, she wasn't just being vindictive over being denied a loan...

  63. As far as I know there's no rule against an employee asking a contractor to go to lunch - or to give them a loan. Those are personal choices so why the hell does he think BCBS should get involved??

    I'm sick of the word "lunch" at this point.

    I also agree with the others who said that there is something more to this than we know from the website. Strange people...

  64. i'm glad he posted his name and picture so if I ever encounter him I can run screaming in the opposite direction!

  65. Erotomania much?

  66. Wow.

    I don't know how many times I've been at some social gathering where later on a guy tells me, self-congratulatory smirk in his eye, "She TOTALLY wants me. Did you see how she was flirting with me?" When I, as another woman there, didn't see anything but the woman in question being polite and friendly.

    All the stuff on his site about how he and his friends watch her breasts when she yawns and stretches, and how her stared at her unbuttoned shirt for half an hour without telling her it was undne because sclearly she'd done it just for his benefit, and how she was being flirty by *gasp* wearinga summer dress IN THE SUMMER - just this same type of delusion, except carried about 100 times further than most men ever go with it. not one single thing he says about her behavior sounds to me like a woman who is remotely interested in him, or trying to flirt with him. It sounds like, with the stuff he says she talked to him about, that maybe she really did think of him as a casual friend and so, you know, talked to him about her life, like people do with friends.

    Guys I hate to tell you, but sometimes we wear clothing that is comfortable, yawn and stretch because we need to yawn and stretch, and have clothing mishaps and it has NOTHING TO DO WITH WANTING TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU.

    Anyway after half an hour of reading I can't find any real explanation of the nature of the complaint she filed or any real explanation of this request of hers to borrow money from him. He mentions several times so far that she did and he said no, but why he decides that a month later that was why he was fired - well there's no logical explanation. If aything, the mere fact that he made this completely obsessive, insane website leads me to think that he was harassing her. Seriously - normal people don't do this if they aren't unhealthily obsessed with someone.

  67. "Ms. Lopez was able to use BCBSA’s internal politics to leverage her ethnicity, gender, and employee status in order to get over on me."
    .. Wow.

    "...She meant conversation and real romance, and she was right about that, but I felt obliged to remind her that sex is pretty good with me, too."
    Cool modesty, bro.

  68. I can't read this nonsense. I need you to break it down into easily digestible bits so I don't claw my eyes out trying to find the parts that attempt to describe what happened. Ugh.

  69. "I know what you’re thinking. Sex. Whenever a story involves a man and a woman, people always think it’s about sex. Sometimes even the other person doesn’t know when it’s not about sex. Often it is about sex, but this time it isn’t. For half the time I knew her, I was dating one woman or another; for six months that woman was Alma (there’s more on her to come). For a quarter of the time she knew me, she was dating one man or another. If I’d just wanted to sleep with her, I would’ve busted a move on her upfront, and if it hadn’t worked out, that would’ve been the end of things between us; but then again, I never just want to sleep with a woman. And if at some point in our friendship I’d wanted to sleep with her in addition to being a friend to her, I would’ve busted a move on her then, and if it hadn’t worked out, we could still have been friends for the same reasons we’d always been friends."

    What a sad, sick little puppy.

  70. mr. mrs. fangfaceJuly 26, 2009 at 1:21 PM

    Anon 12:38:

    I also hate the Nice Guys. Sometimes I peruse the Craigslists personals for a good laugh, so I have (indirectly) run across plenty of Nice Guys. I remember seeing a spot-on response to a Nice Guy ad a few months ago. I don't remember exactly what was said, but the basic gist was "You don't seem like a nice guy at all. You seem bitter and angry and spiteful. The reason why women love the 'jerks' is because they're sociable and fun to be around, and obviously you aren't." The moment that I read that response was absolutely magical.

    I have a Nice Guy in my fencing club. :c As far as I know, he hasn't tried to get with any of the girls in the club (thank god), but he fits the Nice Guy profile to a T.

  71. Major, major fuckstick.

    I think the picture tells the story. Pretty clear case of a chick who was looking for a sugar daddy and then having guy responding indignantly when he finally twigs that OH SHIT IT'S NOT ABOUT MY AWESOME PERSONALITY.

    While some people might come down on the guy's side and see him as the "victim", it's pretty clear that he's a deluded, clueless asshole who deserves everything he has coming to him.

  72. I am skeptical about the proof of the so-called 'lunch tapes'. Funnily enough, it sounds like a co-worker calling another (seemingly friendly) co-worker to eat together.

    Since there is no time or date attached to this messages, it would seem to me that these messages might have been left early in the acquaintance (contrary to his timeline), and she started avoiding him after the stalkerish behaviour started.

    If he's preserved all other memories of her so fondly, why did he only preserve four messages if there were more than four?

  73. "If he's preserved all other memories of her so fondly, why did he only preserve four messages if there were more than four?"
    Simplest explanation: these were among the last messages he hadn't yet deleted that were left on his voicemail, consistent with his explanation. Not a terribly difficult puzzle at all.

    So many of you retards are hard at work nitpicking at 'discrepancies' that aren't. Your contrived 'reasons' 'discredit' issues that are actually fairly easy and natural to explain or need none to any fair, normal person. It only shows how embarrassingly skewed you are and undermines your credibility/dedication to truth. While his site serves well to embarrass him, that does not make these petty objections any better or intelligent.

  74. mr. mrs. fangfaceJuly 26, 2009 at 8:29 PM

    Well Anon 6:47, we all know that people never lie, especially not on the internet. Never.

    Bee Tee Doubleyew, kid, calling people "retards" only shows how embarrassingly skewed you are and undermines your credibility/dedication to truth.

  75. I love people with so much energy to devote to these things. I once had an ex girlfriend deliver me a 152 page novel on why I was a horrid girlfriend, why my whole family was terrible, my friends worthless, my future looked bleak - along with a deconstruction of 2 years of relationship! I had broken up with her so wonder if she felt that way why she didn't do the breaking up first! Oh..and I only know it was that many pages cause they were all neatly numbered. I kept a copy in case I need it for a restraining order but never read the whole thing.

  76. 'Bee Tee Doubleyew, kid, calling people "retards" only shows how embarrassingly skewed you are and undermines your credibility/dedication to truth.'
    No, bitch. Selective reading and forced conjecture work contrary to honestly observing the truth (veracity), unlike calling you a retard. Insults have no bearing on honesty or veracity. They're judgments of you based on what you do. And based on the plainly observable bias, you retards earn the insult well.

    Where were these objections about one-sidedness and source dishonesty in every entry before? What happened to cries against 'blaming the victim'? Looks like clear group attribution bias and hypocrisy.

  77. mr. mrs. fangfaceJuly 27, 2009 at 8:21 AM

    Calm the fuck down, Tonto! It's the internet; it's not meant to be taken seriously.

  78. Hey Anon, if we're such bitches and retards, why the fuck are you still here?

    I know, I shouldn't feed the trolls...

  79. I find it telling that this dude keeps denying that he was "in love with" or interested in this woman sexually. To me, that's at the core of his apparent mental illness. Why do you dedicate an entire website, give extravagent gifts, go on and on like a lovesick boar (BORE), describe encounters with the woman and rate each encounter with those annoying smilies when all you feel is "warmth" for the person? It's like saying "I hay! I kann spel! wat doe yoo mene I kantt spile?"

  80. "Hey Anon, if we're such bitches and retards, why the fuck are you still here?"
    To remind you you're still bitches and retards.

  81. And you're a dog raping piss fucker. What's new?

  82. "a dog raping piss fucker"
    That's not funny. My brother died that way.

  83. Maybe BCBSA was looking for a reason to fire the whining little bitch...

  84. Favorite part:

    "[Anita] said ... the checkout guy followed her out to her car and asked if he could take a photo of her because none of his friends would believe that such a beautiful woman would be buying all that kind of stuff.

    "I couldn’t believe she told that story. t would be like my telling the story of how Terry Groves, former CIO of BCBS Nebraska, may he rest in peace, once told me that I was perhaps the most brilliant person he’d ever known. I, however, don’t have a need for that kind of attention. I’ve never told that story before, and I’m telling it now only to make a point. But imagine if I were to tell it at a group luncheon; everyone would think you’d think God, he’s conceited."

    Credibility: ZERO. After reading that amazingly concise example of hypocrisy, I don't believe a thing the guy said on the entire rest of his sick obsessive website.

    "I’m telling it now only to make a point." Right, that's why you didn't just use a hypothetical example, but carefully detailed exactly who told you that you were "brilliant" and what his position was.

    What a jackass.

  85. Also, if you want to know what went down without reading through all that stuff, here's the core of it, I think.

    I was working on a high-priority project ... Ms. Lopez had done the initial write-up. I’d come to believe that her analysis of the problem was flawed and had sent me down the wrong road, and I wanted her to confirm or refute this so I could make the best use of my time while I was working over the weekend in order to meet my due date of the following Tuesday.

    Despite my repeated e-mail requests for just a few minutes of her time, I received no response. So I stopped at her desk on my way home and asked again for her help ... She said she didn’t have time to read my e-mails, then she smiled and started going on and on in a self-congratulatory way about some error she’d found that “not even the conversion team had found.” It’s amazing the things people do manage to find time for ...

    I couldn’t believe it. Why couldn’t she first have taken a couple minutes to look into my question? ... I knew from experience that it was going to be another drawn-out affair, that she’d be pulling up screen after screen of software and whatnot to illustrate her achievement. When I saw that all I was going to get from her was an attempt to recapture all that lost attention, I simply left.

    ... I then sent, to her and her manager and my manager, an e-mail that was polite and fair but critical of her lack of responsiveness.

    He had work questions for this lady. The lady didn't read his emails because she was doing other work. She started to chat with him about the other work she did, and instead of interrupting her to ask his questions, he walked away. Then he complained to the managers about her.

    That's weird.

  86. "He had work questions for this lady."
    which he repeatedly e-mailed her

    "The lady didn't read his emails"
    a job duty

    "because she was doing other work."
    which was a job duty?
    It’s amazing the things people do manage to find time for ...

    "She started to chat with him about the other work she did"
    changes the subject to go on some ego-trip instead of doing her job

    "and instead of interrupting her to ask his questions"
    he had already asked in writing and person

    "he walked away."
    and files a complaint to the managers.

    Yeah. Filing a complaint when a coworker doesn't give you the work you need to do your job due to an attention problem is totally weird.

  87. Walking away in a huff because someone admits to not having read your emails and filing a complaint based on this fact, seems a bit rich to me - especially when the subject of the complaint clearly had been preoccupied with other work related matters.

    As a contractor he was doing a specialist job. She on the other hand appears to be involved in coordinating the joint effort. Hence she's dealing with various issues, and some are simply more urgent than others.

    My take on things, in short:

    1.)Immature male has a crush on his female project manager
    2.)They become friends in a causal sense of the word
    3.)Immature male likes to read more into it
    4.)Immature male throws a fit when she treats him like any other emplyee in a work related situation
    4.) Immature male obsesses over supposed injustice of it all on a sodding website while indulging in celebration of his tough, but sensitive Hemingway persona. Gag!

  88. "because someone admits to not having read your emails and filing a complaint based on this fact"
    and that she still doesn't review them and changes the subject to something unrelated to his job when he discusses them face-to-face at her computer


  90. "1.)Immature male has a crush on his female project manager
    2.)They become friends in a causal sense of the word
    3.)Immature male likes to read more into it
    4.)Immature male throws a fit when she treats him like any other emplyee in a work related situation
    4.) Immature male obsesses over supposed injustice of it all on a sodding website while indulging in celebration of his tough, but sensitive Hemingway persona. Gag!"

    THIS!! Word. I totally agree.

  91. She wasn't his project manager.

    He went over her head to get her to do her job. He didn't file a "complaint", like he was accusing her of something. He probably asked his boss to ask her boss to ask her to do it. Not a big deal.

    If that's all it is he got rooked.

    He's a tool in a million ways, and she's worthless. Not good looking and made him buy her lunch about 100 times in a row or something. Now, what kind of chick makes a guy buy her lunch? No guy would do that unless he's getting something out of she's a class "a" jerk.

    He let himself be used and he's crazy, but still she's a bitch.

  92. ^ So if she's good looking, it makes her slightly less "worthless"? She sounds like a selfish person, but she can't help how she looks- so I don't really think that should be a factor of her "worth". I'm not meaning to start an argument or anything, but I am sick of women being treated like objects. " Yeah, the table leg is wonky and it won't hold much weight, but the finish is superb". What she looks like has nothing to do with this.

  93. Well if a guy wants to ruin his life possibly, it seems little odd to do it over some chick who doesn't even look that good. That's what I meant by "worthless". Beautiful women can crash a guy into the rocks...not so beautiful...not so easily.

    Sick of seeing chicks treated as objects? Does that win you a lot of points with the ladies? You sound like this guy.

  94. "I am sick of women being treated like objects"
    FYI women are objects

  95. Anon 1:07

    An object wouldn't be able to call you a sexist pig...

    Weasel, come baaaack... We miss you!

  96. July 31, 2009 8:44 AM

    Yeah, it's obviously easier to get manipulated by someone who is better looking. I took worthless to mean 'of little value'. Like if he was stuffed around by a good-looking girl, would it be slightly more "worth it" because at least the scenery was good? All I'm saying is worthless is a pretty harsh judgement, and I don't think physical appearance has much to do with it. Maybe I'm interpreting the word differently to you. Oh..and I am female, so getting points with the ladies is not really something I'm trying to do :)

  97. "An object wouldn't be able to call you a sexist pig..."
    Yes it would, stupid object.


    Cunt troll children need to spend less damn time on the internet.

  99. He sounds like "I am so awesome that I did lots of things for this lowly person THAT SHE NEVER EVEN ASKED FOR and she fails to be properly grateful that I deigned to do them! THAT BITCH! Doesn't she know what an honour it was that I paid attention to her??"

  100. I think (from what he posted - obviously-ever-so-slightly biased) that she seems quite manipulative. But does he honestly believe his feelings for her were purely platonic? He is either lying or completely deluding himself. I don't think it's as psychotic as the other stuff posted on this site, it just seems like a self-absorbed dick who is a bit too proud of his psychoanalyses and wants people to agree with him.

  101. I can't believe that this guy wrote hundreds of pages of obsessed ramblings about this woman, and people on this site are still considering him a legit albeit biased source of information. No, the dude is CRAZY.

  102. We need to contact ms. lopez to hear her side of the story.

    I would guess she doesn't respond because she wouldn't come off that well.

    Did he really buy her 150 meals with her paying NOTHING?

    That just isn't right. If that's true, even if he's crazy (and why would a woman want a crazy guy buying her meals, or even eating with him?), then she is a dirtbag user.

  103. brittany is 10000% right. he is cray cray and his 80,000 pages of HOW COULD SHE NOT LOVE ME BACK AND THEN USE HER BLACK MAGICS TO GET ME FIRED pretty much proves it.

  104. How does one "make" a guy buy even one lunch? I could see it happening once, maybe twice. But if he didn't register his discomfort earlier on he's an idiot. Nobody can "make" anyone buy 150 lunches. After lunch #3 he's not a victim, he's a volunteer.

  105. Yeah, he's a volunteer.

    But a woman who is not a complete user/bitch herself wouldn't take the bait, they just wouldn't want it. And who goes out to nice restaurants at lunch on their salary?

  106. You can't copy/paste from his website. What an ass.

    He gave her taughter a little purse or something, but caught Anita using it. He says, "She said her daughter liked it so much she wanted to take it everywhere, but Ms. Lopez was afraid her daughter would lose it." Read: Ms Lopez thinks you're a scary creep and doesn't want her daughter to have anythign to do with him, even his gifts.

    Did you see the part where he asked her to lunch and she was like, "I can't go too far, my shoe is broken." Him: "Great! Let's walk!"

  107. 'He says, "She said her daughter liked it so much she wanted to take it everywhere, but Ms. Lopez was afraid her daughter would lose it." Read: Ms Lopez thinks you're a scary creep and doesn't want her daughter to have anythign to do with him, even his gifts.'
    There is an alternative, way less fucktarded reading to that. Thanks for translating.

  108. calling her 'ms lopez' strikes me as truly, freakily passive aggressive...

  109. Did anyone notice that he has entire page dedicated to why "Ms. Lopez" ISN'T a "femme fatale"? He goes on and on analyzing her extra pounds, how a REAL "femme fatale" would look and behave, etc. So, she aint "all that", yet you've taken up how many bytes of cyberspace telling us all about it? Me thinks the man-bitch doth protest too much.

  110. You know, in light of what happened in PA I think we should think twice about what's going on here. I mean, shit, keep laughing at him but do we even know who "Ms. Lopez" is? Any way of contacting her? It's hard to discern over the internet what is harmless crazy and what is "shoot em up" crazy. This guy seems pretty borderline.

  111. Anon 8:56: I thought about that too. The entitlement mentality seems to be a common thread between men who get violent with women. As for "Ms. Lopez", I'm sure she knows about the website and has a first-hand understanding of what a psycho this guy is. Did anyone notice he has a photo of her house on his website?

    To my knowledge, there are no specific threats of physical violence on his website. I just wish there was some way to alert people who know him personally that he's on the collective radar.

  112. WEEEAAAASEL! Come back! Where are you?!

  113. This guy lacks major coping skills.

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  115. "possession is nine points of the law" says it all as far as his rationality/inebriation level when he typed this.

  116. What's most disturbing is the little icon of - well what looks like - a gun pointing at you - I'm using IE and it appears on his site's tabs, don't know if it shows in other browser's.

    Anyone else notice that.

    Jeez, right after Sodini, I read something about what to do if you find a worrisome site like this and now I can't remember a thing that it said to do.

  117. Haha I think this is my favourite memory: "The day in winter 2008 when I helped her tweak her daughter’s essay assignment. I hope she explained to her daughter how and why each of those changes was an improvement." Yeah, and I hope the brat was bloody grateful! FREE homework advice from the genius that is John?

  118. My opinion, for what it's worth? The white blouse he gave her and she placed in her closet in her office and didn't take home.

    He ADMITS to going into her closet and taking the blouse to get it pressed because it had been in the box for two weeks and would've wrinkled. And? He is upset because SHE gets upset that he took it.

    Um. Wow.

    THAT is STALKER material.

    The first thing that sent the bells off [and has been mentioned previously in Comments] is him wiping the bench seat of dust because he doesn't like to sit on them because they are dirty.

    Any bets on how many personality disorders Mr. Mickle has?

    He also mentions his contract was up in 2008 and he may not be retained, but asks Ms. Lopez to remain friends. He may have been let go for simply finishing his contract, but....

    ...being escorted out of the building on his last day at work? One would assume that Ms. Lopez had an awfully good case of harassment on her hands - free lunches/gifts or not.

  119. THAT is STALKER material.
    o noes he breathes too = stalker material
    goddamn self-important skanks will call anything a stalker

  120. The best is that BCBSA was contacted 4 times about this guy's blog and they ignored it. Way to go BCBSA. "Best place to work" my ass.

  121. OK. now lets face the facts the guy definentely has some screws loose but he does have a few points.

    1) This Anita Lopez lady should be asking money from contractors.
    2) Apparently the guy never really got paid for his OT which sucks ass beacuse as a contractor thats where you make the big bucks.

    Now with regards to BCBSA, they're playing it smart by ignoring this guys blog , but they're also shooting themselves in the foot if somehow the dude gets a fancy lawyer and manages to make a case out of it.

    so my suggesstion to creepy John is TAKE THE FREAKING BLOG down dude, your never going to get another job with people knowing what kind of a stalker you are.

  122. Let me clarify ... Anita Lopez should not be asking money from contractors.

  123. This...

    "This is an example of what I mean by not being a particularly good person. I was in Granada, Spain, in winter 2005. An elderly man suddenly dropped to the sidewalk, apparently dead. People clustered around, doing this and that. I didn’t know CPR, so I figured there was nothing I could do. I didn’t feel any sadness or human loss, I just thought You don’t see that every day."

    Straight up Camus.

  124. LOL, what a pusswad :P

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