Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Customer Disservice

Every woman who's ever held any type of service or sales job knows about one of the major inherent hazards associated with their chosen profession.

Namely, the unavoidable encounters with creepy fucking dudes.

Fortunately, most men today possess enough intelligence to realize women employed in the sales / service industry act in a pleasant manner simply because everyone in that type of postion has to in order to make a living.

Because that's their fucking job.

They would like you to buy something.

They would like to earn a nice tip.

They represent the face of their employer.

But then you have the skeevy, lecherous, bottom-dwelling jackasses who simply don't understand this phenomenon.

The instant you smile or make prolonged eye contact with one of these pathetic assclowns in your working environment, they are absolutely convinced, for whatever reason, that you are somehow in love with them.

That your smile somehow reveals a crush. Or the way you stood next to him when you tried to sell him that new cellphone obviously meant you wanted to fuck him. Or because the real estate agent took that extra time to show a bedroom, she of course was implying that she wanted to have sex with him in that bedroom.

I'll give you another example.

I used to work in a scummy industry, and my boss epitomized the rancid, fecal crust that rose to the top of his trade. We'll call him Lee.

Lee would prostitute his own mother if he could figure out a way to get three dollars out of it. He easily made mid-six figures a year, but he was so cheap he wore the same ratty, wrinkled, off-white oxford shirt with yellow pit stains on it every day for weeks on end.

He never tipped at restaurants, but always provided female waitresses with his signature punchline: "If you're wondering where your tip is, it's in the price of the food."

And then he'd smile at her, waiting for her to smile back, because he thought his little punchline was pretty cute. Then, as promised, he'd leave her nothing.

He was morbidly obese, and he also regularly paid some back-alley bodychopper to plug dead horsehair into his forehead until his hairline looked like something you might use to scrape lichen off a barn.

So at some point, Lee began mouthing off about a certain barista that "kept hitting on him." When I was offered the opportunity to help him pick up a large order, I decided to go along to see what kind of near-blind, socially inept female buffoon worked at this coffee stand.

She was a beautiful, but very shy, girl in her early 20's.

And she was fucking terrified of Lee. I could see it in her eyes.

But she smiled nervously as Lee kept telling her she had "luscious legs" or "lovely breasts," simply because she needed to keep her job. She was too afraid to tell Lee to go fuck himself.

"Didn't you see the way she smiles at me?" he asked after we left.

Two weeks later, the owner banned Lee from the coffee shop.

Go figure.

And all Lee could talk about at work was how that manager had totally ruined his chances of fucking this hot teenage chick that was "totally into him."

"I'll find her," he'd say, "and I bet you she'll be blowing me within 5 minutes."

You're absolutely right, Lee. Because beautiful 20 year-old college girls always fall for fat, cheap, balding 50 year-old fuckstains who wear the same shirt for 14 days in a row.

You ignorant ass.

Kate writes in to PLFM with a similar story, but in her case, her "client" stepped over the line when he started contacting Kate at home.

Kate works at a small biotech lab located on the campus of her local university. Kate's company specializes in DNA sequencing and bacteria analysis for a number of other local labs.

Kate had a longtime client named Rick who frequently came in to Kate's lab to drop off samples for his company. She was always friendly with Rick, simply because part of her job entailed maintaining profitable relationships with her roster of clients.

But off the record, Kate wasn't fond of Rick. He tended to act like a braying ass when any opportunity to do so presented itself.

Kate explains:

"He's the type of guy who always wants to be the "white knight," riding in and saving the damsel in distress. He once offered to go an beat up the mechanic of a co-worker of his when they, in Rick's view, overcharged her for car repairs."

We all know exactly what you're talking about Kate.

He's the macho, small-cocked blowhard keen on making empty threats of physical violence towards others to "impress" and "protect" the ladies.

Let's all yawn as a group, shall we?

Kate knew Rick had a wife and two kids, and Rick knew that Kate had a long-term live-in boyfriend with whom she had a son and shared a farm.

But at some point, these factors suddenly became irrelevant to Rick.

Rick began stopping by Kate's office every time he came into her company's headquarters. He'd sit around and hit on Kate, and Kate was cordial at best simply because she had to be. Kate also noticed that Rick began to remove his wedding ring as he entered her office.

Rick's efforts got him nowhere however, so he began asking Kate out to lunch.

He'd ask her on Monday, and she would politely say "no." He'd ask her out on Tuesday, and she'd politely say "no" again.

Utilizing the "Can I have a cookie?" process employed by cunning six year-olds worldwide, Rick continued asking Kate out to lunch, figuring Kate would eventually crack under the pressure and agree to have lunch with him.

No dice.

Kate stood her ground.

Rick then reached deep into his arsenal of tired seduction tricks and found the "backrub routine" sandwiched between his fake Ferrari key and his "I'm a movie producer" line.

Kate's desk faced away from her door, so she never saw Rick coming until his hands were already massaging her shoulders. Completely disgusted, Kate organized an office-wide threat-level program whereby all of the other employees began alerting Kate the minute Rick walked in the door.

When the system failed, she finally took her issues with Rick to the boss.

The boss had to have a private and direct conversation with Rick, instructing him to not make any further attempts to date or harass the employees of his company, and by "employees" he specifically meant "Kate."

A few weeks later, Kate was sitting at home at 9 PM on a Wednesday night when her phone rang.

It was Rick.

Somehow, he had located Kate's home phone number. She does not know how.

Rick wanted to know if Kate would like to meet up with him "for coffee" later that night. And by "coffee," he meant "sexual intercourse." On a Wednesday. At 9 PM. And he lived over an hour away from Kate.

Kate had had enough at this point. She lost her cordial attitude, and gave Rick a fucking earful, saying in as many words .....

"Do not EVER fucking call me at home, Rick. Do not ever contact me again outside of work. Ever!"

Now, as a common, puny, and worthless man, even I would get the hint at this point that, hmmm, maybe this Kate girl doesn't have any interest in me?

Let's look at the evidence.

1. Rick hits on Kate, and she routinely shows no interest.

2. Rick asks Kate out to lunch repeatedly, and she refuses every time.

3. She practically pukes when he tries to give her shoulder massages.

4. Her boss intervenes and instructs Rick to have no further contact with Kate.

5. He ignores that advice, and violates her privacy by somehow acquiring her home phone number.

6. He calls her at home, where she lives with her boyfriend and son, to ask her out for coffee.

7. She tells him in no uncertain terms to go fuck himself.

You think maybe Rick would get the hint?

Well, he wouldn't be on PLFM if he did.

Kate went back to work the next day only to find the following email in her inbox.

From Rick, of course.

Take it away, Romeo.

Hello cutie,

I know you told me not to contact you outside of work, so I'm sending this to your work address. That makes it work related, right? :)

If you haven't guessed by now, I really dig you. The highlight of my week is droping off DNA to your lab, and I would love to make a more direct deposit.

I would treat you like a queen. My wife would never know. We're on the rocks anyway. I'm only staying with her because of the girls. She doesn't satisfy me in bed, the way I know you would with your tight little body.

You figure into my dreams nightly. It's the only satisfaction I get these days.

Let me know when you want to spend a night or more in heaven.

Rick.

What Rick didn't know is that by emailing Kate, he also emailed the entire lab, so everyone got a gander at Rick's final overtures to Kate.

And I say "final" because this is the exact same email Kate used against Rick to obtain a restraining order. If Rick decides to ask Kate out to lunch again, he will now have to yell his question from a distance of at least 1000 feet.

Now, this story may not involve knives to the throat, death threats, or the well-barbequed kittens my readers have developed such a fine taste for.

But I printed this story for a reason.

The weekend prior, this exact topic came up amongst a large group of my female friends twice. And each time, the women were falling all over themselves with horrible stories of dealing with deviant, sometimes psychotic, and often stalkerish behavior from clients and / or customers.

Represented were waitresses, bartenders, real estate agents, saleswomen, baristas, and advertising executives.

PLFM wants to hear YOUR story in the comments, because we know you have them.

679 comments:

  1. I was in a relationship that wasn't going too well; by not too well, I mean that my neighbor once had a dream that I killed my boyfriend because he pissed me off too much.

    I was gently steering the leaky raft of our relationship to the calm waters of Dump The Motherfucker Already Bay when I got sick and needed surgery.

    Long story short, it went wrong and I wound up in an induced coma. This means you're kind of awake, sometimes, but not enough to wake up all the way or filter reality from dreams.

    And for the three weeks I was there, he was at me constantly. This man with whom I hadn't had physical intimacy for months was holding my hand, kissing me on my unresponsive mouth, stroking my hair... one of the nurses told me after I woke up that he had to be gently reprimanded for pawing at me a little too enthusiastically. It was a dream come true for him, he said later, because "You weren't being a bitch like usual.. you were just so relaxed and happy... it was like your true feelings were allowed to shine through." I WAS UNCONSCIOUS.

    That was the only relationship I ever had that was ended in the ICU.

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  2. I realise that wasn't quite the 'customer' story you were looking for, but it remains my creepiest experience and I wanted to share.

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  3. You guys can post anything you want. Its usually more amusing than my crappy writing, so post away.

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  4. I work in customer services. We have to be nice, its part of the job sadly. This one guy always comes in and sits with me and talks away for hours. Its annoying because I have told him I have a partner and a child, but all he asks is "if you didnt would you fancy me?" No I wouldnt you creepy, odd, little pussy rat!
    Anyways, I told my boss about it and she thinks its funny. So she leaves him there. She used to rescue my by calling me and pretending I was needed elsewhere, but now, to her amusement I have to sit there and chat to this tool. Once he didnt leave for and hour and a half! I mean seriously!!
    Luckily he doesnt know where I live or any personal details apart from which night I work late. But come on dude, you are NOT GETTING ANY so back the hell off!
    Urg! I hate Mondays! (My late night :P)

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  5. False modesty or genuine self-loathing?

    Because, uhm, both are kind of attractive.

    Which might explain why I hook up with guys who love me best when I'm unconscious.

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  6. Dear anon

    I think Madeline Albright said it best: there's a special kind of hell for women that don't help other women

    Or, at least, there should be!

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  7. WES! You have a name in the story! Right at the asking-to-lunch bit. FYI

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  8. In regards to Lynnie's story

    Am I the only who're thinking, date-rapist in training?

    Gah, i feel for you, Lynnie! That's just creepy beyond words! Thank god for the nurses!

    BTW, there's no need to make apologies for your taste in men. You left him, that's what counts. And, really, who could see that one coming?

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  9. There is this store near where I work. I talk to the staff sometimes. The subject of the Matty Johns and the group sex scandal come up, and this junior tells me that one of the regular customers came in, and when she made a comment about it (he was buying the paper), he responded with "the girl was asking for it".

    When she challenged him on it (older man v young teen girl, "how would you like it if that happened to you?"), he responded that if she ever found herself in that situation, she ought to ring him so he could take a photo.

    Not cool. Not cool at ALL.

    We get assholes in our trade everyday. I've stopped playing by the rules. If they wanna bring it, they aren't going to be met with Ms Congeniality.

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  10. Weasel, great story, but I think just one time, the 'real' name slipped through. I must be the luckiest gal, because I ooze such a disgust towards creepy men that they shiver away and crawl under their dirty rocks when I give them my pattented stink-eye.

    And Lynnie, that is one hell of a story...

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  11. When I was in the Army, at my second duty station, I worked in a headquarters company and had a soldier at each battalion who had to report to me and drop off paperwork. At one of the battalions was a Corporal who thought because I was only a Specialist he would get special treatment. (For those who don't know, a Corporal and a Specialist are the same rank, but the Corporal's had his ego stroked a bit.)

    When that didn't happen, he moved on to a very similar pattern to what Kate had up there. Him dropping by for longer and longer periods, telling me inappropriate things about his wife, asking me to lunch. Me saying no, repeatedly.

    I stopped it when he tried the touchy feely stage.

    I have very curly hair and when I wear it up, I get these little tendrils at the top of my neck that curl up. The first time he came up behind me and tried playing with them, I promptly elbowed him in the guts.

    As he wheezed, I said polite make-nice words about how I'm always that jumpy, and geeze, so sorry, but made sure my expression said I was lying my ass off.

    He never touched me again.

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  12. I was working in a bar, and everytime I would go around collecting glasses the town drunk would pull me onto his lap, hug me, put his arm around me...ick. he was at least late 50s, smelly, an alcoholic... one time he wouldnt let me go so the bar man had to come rescue me. In the smoking area once he told me "you have a lovely pair", put his hands on his chest, made boob squeezing motions and asked "Can I...?"


    I said no.

    And I dont work there anymore.

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  13. Thanks guys.

    I check over these things 100 times and somehow I still miss a name.

    Got it fixed.

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  14. I unfortunately was eating breakfast when I got to the letter, and the "direct deposit" line kind of ruined it for me. I always think it's gross when I can know men are masturbating to the thought of me. UGH.

    Reason # 29819238 why e-mail is bad... people are much more willing to say things they would never say in person.

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  15. I used to work at a pita place in a slightly dodgy downtown area and we'd get some pretty special people. But the worst weren't the drunks and addicts, they were the business people who came by for lunch. They always assumed they would get special treatment, and thought that we should be so pathetically grateful that they paid attention to us that we would give them whatever they wanted. After all, we were only lowly university students and they were "super-successful business people." Some of them were obviously pathetic and lonely though, like one guy who used to drop by constantly and whine about how his girlfriend left him. And then he would just hang out in the store talking about whatever while we tried to serve other customers. We still had to be nice to him though. So one time he was telling me about some awesome movie (that I hadn't seen because it was really bad) and I told him that I hadn't seen it and would not be able to have a conversation about it (hint hint: I don't want to talk to you) he offered to make me a copy and bring it by. Then he started asking me about my schedule, which I really did not want to tell him. When that didn't work he said, "Oh, I'll just bring it by your house, where do you live?" Yeah, because I'll tell you that. Luckily my "Ummm... No" seemed to get through to him, because he never asked again. He did bring the movie by the store and then bugged me about my opinion of it for a while, but when I still hadn't watched it after over a month he kinda gave up.

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  16. Ugh, men can be so gross sometimes. I don't often comment, but thought I'd add, sometimes it isn't the ones you would think it would be most. I've waitressed and worked in bars and had all kinds of this behavior, but now I work in a stone quarry weighing out trucks all day, with truck drivers coming to my office to get tickets, sometimes hundreds of them in a day, and I have only met ONE that ever gave me any kind of a problem. So sometimes they can surprise you...

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  17. I used to have a temp job working as an x-ray clerk at a hospital - stressful because if I screwed up, someone would probably die. Anyway, our clients weren't really the patients at the hospital but the other doctors at the hospital who didn't work at radiology - we were responsible for being the liaison for the radiological doctors.

    Talk about asshole customers who couldn't take a hint... luckily I'm a pretty ugly girl so guys tend to ignore me or underestimate me, but one of my coworkers who started at the same time got hit on constantly by the fathers of kids I went to high school with. Very eye-opening...

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  18. I used to work for a communications company that dealt with the phone calls inmates would make from correctional facilities. I was the only company rep at my facility, but I thought it would be safe because it was a women's facility.

    Part of my job was to help customers get their phones set up to be able to receive these calls. When I would talk to these people, I would always try to be extremely nice because most of the time it was a distraught mother trying to receive calls from her daughter, and I couldn't imagine what that would feel like. Every once in a while though, I'd get a call from a husband or boyfriend who would take my kindness as an invitation to say whatever the hell came to his mind at the time.

    There are 2 people I remember not so fondly. The first one had a girlfriend in the facility I was at, and he had to call my back a few times to get his account fixed. Each time he called back he kept getting "friendlier", and eventually he said that I "probably needed a spanking for the way I was teasing him". Not knowing what to say I said "Um, since your phone is working now, you're all set" and hung up.
    The other guy was even worse. He basically had the same situation, he was trying to receive his girlfriend's calls. His phone problem was fixed in a matter of an hour, but over a week he would call 3 times a day "just to check on his account". He then started with "Yeah..I was just on my motorcycle. Do you like motorcycles?" then it was "Wow, I'm really lonely without my girlfriend. Good thing we weren't that attached anyway." What started to freak me out was when he started asking what time I went to lunch. That's when I got the warden involved because this was getting ridiculous. His last call came to me after the warden had spoken to him. He said that "he thought I was really cute" and was "disappointed that I was such a tease for flirting with him all week".
    Just to add to the creepiness factor:
    Another part of my job was to listen to the actual inmate calls to check for fraud. I listen to the 2nd guy's calls with his girlfriend and he proposed to her over the phone. During the same week he was trying to talk to me.

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  19. SOrry , this one is long.

    I was working at a local bar. I had a regular pervert / cheap skate that would come in. One night he was waiting out back for me in the dark when I took out the trash! I was able to dodge him and get back inside.

    I proceeded to tell all my regulars. Of course there were plenty of macho,"I'll stay and walk you to your car" types.But by nights end the only folks in the bar were me, stalker guy and some 300 pound ex Marine.(300 pounds of muscle not fat)

    This ex Marine had never been in the bar while I was working before. He just was polite and listened to the whole situation. When my stalker got a little too aggressive and rude,MArine told him he thought it was time for him to leave NOW. And HE DID! (Never saw him again.)

    BUT...my rotten night was not even near over. I thanked Marine who just saved my ass from a huge confrontation and gave him a beer on the house. I quickly locked the back and front doors and told him that when he was finished with his beer to let himself out.

    He placed a couple dollar tip on the bar and I began counting the register and cleaning. That was when I realized that he was kind of taking a long time to put his wallet away.

    Then DUH..I remembered that he had a chain wallet in his back pocket. So, what was he doing in his FRONT pocket???? YUP you guessed it.

    I am asthmatic and at the time was suffering from a severe upper respiratory infection. It was an effort to work and walk there was no way I could get enough oxygen to struggle or run.And I had just locked myself up alone in the bar with a 300 pound masturbating GORILLA! GREAT.

    I looked right at him picked up the phone and called 911. I carried the phone to the back kitchen and began looking in the closets for the gun we kept there. Geee,it had been there all week. Some soul had moved it.Thanks!

    I grabbed our biggest butcher knife and went back to the front to face him. The 911 operator was in such a tizzy by now that she had hung up on me!

    I told him it was his turn to leave, NOW! By now he was getting wise to what I had done and was putting his dick away.Thankfully, he left.

    I locked the door behind him and waited for the Police. They arrested him in the parking lot.

    I had no less than 5 different girls in the service industry come by my work that week to thank me. They had all been groped stalked and had him harass them too.One of them had been pushed up against a wall.SHe was afraid ahe was going to be raped.

    Do you know not one of them was brave enough to swear to it in court?

    He still roams the streets....scary.

    The DA s office later told me that they felt this guys actions were escalating. But without people willing to go to court they could not do anything.My sworn statement got the prick some community service.(SLAP his wrist why don't ya?)

    I don't bartend anymore...

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  20. The worst part of service jobs is the name tag. I would disguise myself when I worked retail by using my first name (I go by my middle name) just to keep creepy men from having that sort of medieval magic power over me (or something).

    But my first name is the title of not one, but two popular rock songs from the 80s. One by Fleetwood Mac. There's nothing worse (well, since I've never had a stalker) than being 19, trapped behind a cashier desk, trying as rapidly as possible to process all the cans of beans and plaid shirts and cheap-ass dog food and off-brand Coke while listening to some 40 year old sing "when you build your house, call me, call me home!"

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  21. Well, obviously Kate wasn't being clear and direct enough. /sarcasm. Just wanted to get THAT out of the way.

    Guys like this do it because you're fucking trapped at work. They know it's one of the few times a woman can't tell them to fuck off or run away, which is totally different from their day to day existences.

    It's a shame Rick didn't get fired for his e-mail stunt.

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  22. When I was 15 I would accompany my mom to the grocery store every week to do the regular shopping. There was a bagger there, let's call him Derek, that made sure he was bagging our groceries no matter what aisle we checked out from. He would always compliment me in a very lecherous way and then tell my mother how well she did on "making me".

    This continued on for years. YEARS. He would always make sure to seek me out in the store and even started offering to escort us home with our groceries. Sometimes I would do the shopping with out my mom, and on those occasions he was less than "cordial" towards me. It ventured into the realms of disgusting.

    One day when I was 18 and just happened to be shopping with my mom, Derek was there and actually had the balls to ask my mom if I was finally legal yet as he was very interested in "bagging your daughter". His exact words.

    Mom had him fired.

    It didn't stop there.

    This guy seemed to pop up everywhere in my life. He would get random jobs at stores where I would inevitably shop and follow me through the stores begging me to date him, kiss him...hell even asked me to blow him once. Creepy.

    I moved to another side of town so was able to avoid him better for the next couple of years. Then I ended up working with a lovely woman, let's call her Lori, that just happened to be married to him.

    Don't get me wrong, she was sweet, but finding out she was married to him made me less inclined to be her best bud. Since we were friends a while before I found out who her husband was, she had been to my house socially a couple of times and knew a lot of personal information about me. Like what kind of living room furniture I had and what kind of clothes I wore to the kind of car I drove.

    Cue the creepy music.

    A few weeks after I found out she was married to this guy, a mutual friend of hers and mine told me that there was something really strange going on. She had been to my house and to Lori and Derek's house and said that they had the exact same living room and bedroom furniture I had. That Lori had a bunch of outfits just like what I wore, and that Derek had just bought her a new car EXACTLY like mine.

    Talk about a guy having a hobby. If you call stalking a woman from the time she was a teenager a hobby.

    I didn't work at the job with Lori much longer. And because I lost that job I ended up having to move. I heard from the mutual friend that Derek asked about my whereabouts constantly. No one told them where I was, thankfully.

    A couple of years later I ran into Lori at the mall. She stopped me and asked me if I would join her for a cup of coffee and talk to her for a bit. I agreed simply on the fact that it was a very populated mall and I could scream for help in case she decided to go all bodysnatcher on me.

    It turns out, Derek used to talk about me all the time. ALL THE TIME. He bought her all the clothes, furniture and the car, and even insisted on calling Lori by my name while they were in bed. She told me he pushed her to get a job where I worked so that she could meet and become friends with me. After a while she said it became very obvious (ya think?) what he was doing.

    She left him. She found a man that loved her for her and she lived happily ever after. She and I didn't remain close friends.

    As for Derek? He still lives in the same town as me, and every once in a blue moon I bump into him. I don't speak to him when I do see him and luckily I have been accompanied by a male friend every time I have seen him.

    Not the worst stalker experience I have ever had, but definitely the creepiest.

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  23. I work basically as "security" for a music store, meaning I keep an eye on the floor and check customers purchases with the receipts for errors.
    One guy who came in daily when I first started working there a few years ago came up to me (still a few years ago) and was just talking, mostly because a friend of his was a high school friend of mine. And then he asked the dreaded "So what are you doing after work?"

    My response? "Going out with my boyfriend." And I proceeded to pull out my phone and pretend to text him. Technically, I did not have a boyfriend at the time. It worked, though.

    But I've had lots of old men leer at me, several attempts to get my phone number, and all of them leave me with this feeling of dirt on my skin that can't wash off. Old men. Ew.

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  24. I'm a server in a diner where we have a very special regular customer. We have all learned to deal with his winking, lame attempts to engage us in conversation, loud moaning in the restroom, unwiped runny nose and the fact that he never, ever leaves a tip. Last week he had a new trick to gain my attention. He came in wearing a button down shirt, stained as usual and each time he called me back to his table for yet another complaint, i.e. the salt shaker is not full, I dropped my fork and need another, close the blinds, the sun is in my eyes....the shirt had started to open one button at a time. By the time I took him his check, the shirt had run out of buttons and had been pulled open to expose his huge hairy man boobs and matching belly. I hate to think what would have happened if he had ordered dessert.

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  25. I used to work at Home Depot during my summer breaks in college, and it was unbelievable how shameless some of those men are. A few favorites were:
    "When do you get off?" "oh, in a few hours" "No, I think it'll be more like 15 minutes after that"
    The migrant workers saying extremely off-color things about me in spanish (although their faces when I responded with something along the lines of "you kiss your mother with that mouth?" were priceless)
    And the best was "You married?" "No" "...wanna be?" Which I actually heard more than once, and once by a man who wanted me to live with him on his farm because I was so strong and looked so healthy. *shudder*

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  26. in regards to the very "special" regular, that bared man-boobs and beer-gut:

    "monkey see, monkey do" kind of of attempt at behavioral manipulation?

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  27. My father owns a couple of package stores. One summer when I was home from college, he said he wanted me to close on 2 weekdays. But...being in this business a long time and having several daughters...he wanted me to work with one of the guys first. This guy was a cop....and he would determine whether this was a good idea or not.

    The most memorable customer of the night was about 70, with a cane, and looked easily 8 months pregnant. He came in no less than 4 times and kept asking me what my hours were. The cop/coworker at first found this amusing, and even asked the co-worker: how's your wife? Aren't you guys expecting again? To which the sleaze-bag replied: forget about her. I am coming back here every day until I figure out your schedule (pointing at me). And with a toothless grin, he was ejected from the premises by my bodyguard of sorts.

    My coworker mentioned it would be worth the price of admission to leave me at the counter for one more night, just so this guy could show up. And have my dad (a retired cop) out back...ready to deal with him. After that comment he picked up the phone and said.."sorry. I wouldn't leave her alone in here for 5 minutes."

    Working at a package store you meet more than your fair share of wackos and people that seem semi-normal til they've had something to drink. The upside? (Besides working with cops) You don't have to be so nice. You can tell them f**k off, refuse to wait on them, etc. More than once these jacka**es said to me: watch it young lady. I could get you fired. Priceless their face as I responded: God, I wish you would. Dad! Someone out here wants to talk to the owner!

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  28. @Persnickety Ticker "Not the worst stalker experience I've had..."
    Holy hell, what was your worst??

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  29. When I was 16 I worked at Montgomery Wards. I was that annoying person at the door trying to get you to sign up for a credit card. Yea me! So there was this guy that worked in the automotive department. He had to have been in his 40's. Remember I was 16 at the time. He kept talking to me, flirting with me, leaving me presents, etc. Management said they couldnt do anything because I had no proof that it was coming from him...

    After 4 months he followed me home... I didnt notice anyone trailing me until I got onto my street, which was off the normal path. Fortunately for me my 6'8", 320 lb brother was home... I ran into the house and screamed for him... He scared off my "admirer" with a shot gun!! I quit my job right then and there over the phone.

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  30. true confession: I was once the shitty boss. No I never hit on an employee but I knew one of our customers was creeping out my assistant & I did not get in there & do something about it. I waited until she came to me. I still feel rotten.

    We could not afford to offend his company but still, once I was ready to do something about it, it was a piece of cake. We were lucky in that USUALLY people called before coming to the office & even if he did not, I started keeping a list of off-the-floor jobs she could do when he dropped by or really loud jobs so he could not talk to her. We would save everything that needed to be shredded for his visits.

    She once forwarded an e-mail from him to her complaining what a bitch I was because as soon as he got there to visit I had some urgent phone call, over due presentation materials or whatever. I was "getting between them" & "ruining their future". I wish I saved it but it would be tough to build a whole post around.

    Still, he kept dropping by until the day she left (to have a baby...not his). In 5+ years of her being away from her desk when he had an appointment & called away ASAP when he didn't he never did get the message.

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  31. I was in a band with a guy who was fond of telling the rest of us how magnetic he was to women. He had a ton of great stories about the different women he'd been with, and it seemed like he always had a new instance where he had gone some place and some woman (often, I later noticed, a waitress, bartender, or curiously, the girlfriend of a friend or relative) had given off dozens of signals that she was very, very into him.

    Well, the rest of my bandmates and I liked him a lot, so it seemed natural to us that girls would be into him. To be honest, I was a little jealous that he seemed to be so magnetic while I always had a hard time meeting girls, let alone having them express interest in me.

    Anyway, I remember the illusion began to skid to a halt one evening when we were at a club for a show. There was no one there except the four of us and the bartender, who was a stunning woman and couldn't have been more than 23- in other words, about half the age and a third the weight of my bandmate. We had been sitting around for about 45 minutes waiting for the show to get underway, and he turned to me and told me that the bartender was seriously, seriously into him.

    Which was preposterous.

    Even I, who had bought every other storyline for the last two years, who wouldn't know if a woman was interested if she took an oath and had it certified, knew there was no way this young thing was interested in him at all. And then suddenly it occurred to me that I had never actually seen him with a girl in the two years that I'd known him.

    And that he was known to say some creepy things from time to time that I chalked up to his being a poor communicator.

    "Hatefuck" was a term he'd used. As in, "I wanna hatefuck XXXXXXXX."

    He repeatedly referenced the same pornographic title in conversation, which I won't repeat here but which was very specialized and pretty degrading.

    Anyway, there are two interesting epilogues to this story:

    1. We found out a year after we kicked him out of the band that he had been hitting on the drummer's girlfriend for two years. But not just hitting on her. More like, approaching her specifically at any time when the rest of us weren't around, whenever he could corner her alone, and giving her specific instructions on how to break up with the drummer.
    i.e.: "OK, here's what you're gonna wanna do. You're gonna go home with him, and then sit him down and tell him that you need your space..." Every scenario ended up with that "spend a night in heaven" scenario that just goes to show how ironically a person can use the word "heaven". When she told us, we were FURIOUS about it- but it hardly bothered her. She just thought it was funny because he was so, so pathetic.

    2. He used to get blackout drunk and ride his motorcycle (Fat AND a drunk. How could girls NOT love him, right?). One night about six months ago, he had a few too many and rode it right off a bridge, thus neutralizing his effect on genetics forever.

    One final thing- Gals, I supervise people every day and I don't put up with customers picking on my employees, sexually or otherwise. But a lot of times I don't know it's happening unless someone tells me. You've gotta make it known to your supervisors. Danger is out there...

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  32. My first job was as a bagger at a grocery store, and I often was assigned to work at Joe's register. He was probably in his late 20s and was friendly enough, which of course turned into overly-friendly. He would comment on my "lovely legs" (which is hilarious since I was unbelievably scrawny) or that he could see my bra through my white button-down, or how sexy I looked all covered in sweat from bringing in the carts. Uh, okay.

    I just ignored it for awhile, not really understanding about sexual harassment since I was just 16, but it escalated to "invitations" to join him in the back room on his lunch break, constant offers to drive me home even when he got off work hours before I did, requests for quickies in his car.... It was horrible, I was so scared and nervous about going to work in case he might be there.

    The last straw was when he said I was going to join him in his car after work. I said "no" and he said "I wasn't asking." I reported him, backed up by two other teenage girls he'd been harassing, and he got fired. Last I saw of him he was driving a bus for the old folk's home.

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  33. Dear Lord. This makes me very, very happy that my only job experience thus far was at a clothing store for girls in their teens/early 20's. The only guys we got in there were bored guys carrying bags for their girlfriends and dads getting gift cards for their daughters. Not much opportunity for stalking there.

    This is also not making me look forward to a couple months from now when I throw myself back into the workforce (likely as a barista, as that's where my area of expertise is...).

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  34. Working in a restaurant or coffee shop GUARANTEES you a creepy stalker. Mine called me "cookie" every day even after I said "Don't call me Cookie." He thought bringing me a kitten (surprise!) would win my affection. Um hi? You don't give someone you don't know a pet they have to take care of. You don't know their circumstances! Jeebus.

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  35. Amen, Miss Rosa.

    I worked in restaurants for years. It stinks that some of the creepiest guys were the MANAGERS.

    I actually had a hand in getting one of them fired. He was married, had a baby, another on the way, and ALWAYS hit on the teenage girls who worked there.

    I cornered him and told him if he didn't cut it out, I'd make sure the Director of Operations knew about it.

    Not only did he NOT stop, but one evening when I had to work with him, he grabbed my butt as he went by. Said it was an accident since the aisleway was tight, but I know the difference between inadvertent touching, and a grab.

    I went to the DO as promised, and once it was out that I had, other girls started coming forward. Assclam got fired, but it didn't end there, oh no.

    He showed up at the restaurant, and demanded to know why I'd "set him up" and "ruined his life"! He actually tried to grab me through the window, because he wasn't allowed in the place.

    Cops were called, and the weenie was booted off the property. Never came back as far as I could tell, but I had an escort out to my vehicle for at least a year after that.

    That isn't the worst story in my arsenal, but ladies, it's not ALWAYS the customer. Sometimes it's your own boss.

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  36. Did I miss my opportunity to yawn with the group? Damn!

    Great as always. Your use of descriptors is still impressive. Dare I say you are more self deprecating then even me!

    kingofdeprecation.blogspot.com

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  37. I worked in a small town grocery store.

    It was in my first month at the job, 17 years old, but I had gotten to know all my fellow employees. I normally ran cash register because I'm friendly and so I was scanning this guy's groceries. As usual, when I got to his gallon of milk, I asked: "Would you like your milk in a sack?"

    His response was: "I'd like to milk your sacks, babe," and he made some crude gestures as if groping my breasts.

    My response, a lie: "I have a boyfriend."

    His: "Well, I bet he can't bench press one-twenty like I can."

    Me: "I dunno. Let's ask him." So I lean and call Ricky -- our macho marine man who always worked at the shop as a stock boy during his times off duty -- up to the front. I loved the face that guy gave him whenever he came up. "Ricky, sweetie, how much can you benchpress?" Ricky caught on immediately and pretended to be my boyfriend and scared the guy away. My favorite part of that?

    As he was running--leaving his change--I got to call, "You forgot your milk!" out after him, and got to have Ricky carry it out to him.

    Then there was this other time that occurred after I'd learned how to work service desk (where we sell cigarettes and lotto) This guy game in and would always talk to me for hours and hours. He had two sons, had recently divorced his wife, and was in his late forties. I just presumed this was all innocent.

    Then he started asking for copies of our schedule to see when I was working. My managers refused to give it to him. Then he'd start calling the store and asking to talk to me, and he'd try to talk for hours and I'd inform him I was working and couldn't talk. Then he'd start waiting until the stores closed to talk to me outside and ask me if I needed a ride home or wanted to go home with him. Thankfully, I have lots of guy friends, and almost every single one of them worked at the grocery store with me, so they'd just wait around on me to get done to walk with me out to the employee parking lot.

    So one time, me and my guy friends are going to see a movie in the nearest city, about a thirty minute drive. About halfway there we stop at a gas station because I'm low. While I'm filling up they all go inside to find candy and drinks for us to sneak into the theater. As soon as they disappear inside, I suddenly feel arms wrap around me and I'm getting a hug from behind. I scream and freak out and twist and...there's the dude.

    "Hey! Calm down, I wasn't going to hurtcha!"

    "Uh...hi." I get back to working on filling up my car with gas.

    "I was wondering if you wanted to go to the movies with me sometime soon?"

    My response: "I'm 18. No."

    "Come on, baby, you've been flirting and teasing me all this time. You can at least go to a movie with me!"

    Cue all four of my friends traipsing out of the gas station and moving up behind me. Me: "You wanna come with me and my friends?" I gesture at them. Notably, Nick, one of them, has a tendency to carry a knife around, so he had it out and was playing with it.

    He just looked at my four guy friends and then at me and said: "Maybe some other time, can I get your number?"

    And then my friends jumped in. One of them was like "Dude, you're like what, 50? You think an 18 year old girl wants to go out with a 50 year old dude, or what?" And another was like "Maq really hates talking on the phone by the way, so you've just pissed her off by calling her at work!" And Nick, being kind of creepy sometimes, was like: "You get close to her ever again and I'll stab you with my knives."

    I didn't hear from him again until two years later when I was working at the same grocery store during my college summer break and he came in and tried tentatively flirting with me again. Unfortunately for him, I no longer cared about being polite at work, and when he came in about four times in the same day and continually asked me to see him after I got off, I finally responded: "Yeah, sure. Let's meet back by the baler so that I can shove you into it and squash you into an easy-to-carry square." Never spoke to him again.

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  38. oh my gosh! i have so many creepy-man service job stories, having worked in retail and grocery stores for over a decade, but nothing this over the top really comes to mind at the moment. i'm lucky now, i work in a tattoo shop with six big scary men who would beat a creep down in a heartbeat (haha). i hate being the weak little girl who has to get one of the guys to come stand with me if someone is being creepy.

    it's completely unfair for anybody working in a service industry to have to feel trapped

    the last harassment i can remember receiving was when i was about 23 and working in a market. there was a gross fat old man from ecuador who was a regular, and i wanted to practice my spanish...i was all
    "hi, how are you? how's your day?"
    and he said "you are so beautiful, i want to take you home and touch you"
    i immediately stormed out of the deli (where i was working), over to where the store manager was eating lunch and said "that motherfucker just sexually harassed me" in a loud voice so everyone could hear and he had to do something about it
    it was actually kind of fun

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  39. Kate here. It's kind of sad to know this kind of thing is so prevalent. Why do guys think this is acceptable?

    Rick had to drop off more samples today. Unfortunately for him, my off-color, typically hilarious and very UN-PC coworker was also here. As soon as Rick walked in, Matt started cringing and hollering, "No direct deposit, dude!!!" Everyone laughed, and Rick asked if I had shared his email with the lab. My BOSS responded with (and this is a direct quote), "No asswipe. She didn't. YOU did. That email address gets forwarded to everyone here. And I've forwarded it to YOUR boss. Leave your samples and go on your merry way now."

    I love my boss. In a totally platonic way.

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  40. I think I love your boss a little bit too...

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  41. It's a power play, and they only think it's acceptable because you're trapped and can't do shit about it for the most part. I doubt they pull their nonsense with free-range women.

    I'm kind of in love with your boss too, Kate.

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  42. At the "direct deposit" line, my lunch almost made a round trip.

    My bad stalker story involves the half-brother of my best friend throughout middle and high school. Yes not work-related, but in my opinion, still a story worth telling.

    Since my friend had a big house and a better video game system than me, I always went to her house on weekends for sleepovers. Almost every weekend. Her dad had 3 sons from a previous marriage, the youngest of which was in his late 20s and lived in the attached nanny apartment of their house. He was always friendly with me, would ask me about things I was doing. I always just shrugged him off as being my friend's polite brother.

    Until he started getting inappropriate. Around the time I was 15 I started realizing that something very wrong was going on. He would come down to the basement while my friend and I were doing whatever and say we should have a pillow fight in our underwear (gross enough to say to me, but my friend is also his half-sister!) He would constantly send me messages on AIM saying inappropriate things. I blocked his screen name, and he would sign on with another screen name and ask me why I blocked him.

    And then his gift came. Much of his family (including, eventually, my friend) had gone to a large university two states away. One day in the mail there was a package for me. The return address was his. Inside were a bunch of giftss from said university - all completely unsolicited. Let me reiterate - all this happened when I was 15. He was maybe 28.

    At that point, I told him never to contact me by email, AIM, or mail again. My dad at the time was involved in local government, so I offered to get the police involved. I think he got the hint. I'm now 23 and haven't heard from him since.

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  43. I love your boss too. Please let us know if asswipe gets fired.

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  44. In college, I worked for Wal*Mart in the craft section. Our section was in the far back corner of the store and isolated during my night shift.
    I had a customer, a woman, who would often come in and buy fabric, etc. I thought she was nice until she started to offer her son up for marriage. Then the son showed up. Every. Night. I'm 6" tall and he is 5'6"and he said, "you know I've always wanted to have athletic children and you certainly have birthing hips."

    Well you bet your bottom dollar that I just dated him immediately. In reality, I asked him not to visit me again. This pissed his mom off and she came every day to tell me how I was a "dirty whore" who would never be good enough for her son. Good news for me. Then my dad died. Ugh. This was obviously an invitation to love me or as I like to see it, hit me when I'm down. He sent (or mom??) flowers to the funeral. Came to the reception afterwards and told everyone he was my boyfriend- including my boyfriend which confused him greatly.

    The final straw was when he was found by my apartment complex trying to pry my screen off my basement window. When the cops came I told them why I was scared and got the restraining order. Guess who showed up to hassle me at work the next night? Mom... I finally quit for the summer and didn't work there again. That is one tag team duo I could have lived without.

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  45. I used to work at a small, independent library, where I was often the only person working at any given time

    One of our regulars was an older male whom I knew vaguely from church (mid-40s, I guess. I was 18.) He'd made it somewhat clear that he was interested, and I made it pretty clear that I was not, and that I was seeing someone.

    Well, one evening, he came into the library. I was busy shelving books, and the asshole comes up behind me and puts his arms around my waist, pressing himself up against me. Um, ew.

    Thankfully he didn't pressure me when I extracted myself from his grip, and I left that job soon afterwards for unrelated reasons, but GAH.

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  46. To the library worker:
    Working in a library is one of the most dangerous places because of that sort of thing. It's open to the public, they have night hours, and (usually) friendly women working. I worked at a library for many years and had many uncomfortable experiences with library patrons. Fortunately, the police are really great when it comes to "helpless" library clerks!

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  47. I've never posted here... but I've got a couple of these unfortunately. Lets see we'll share one of the three worst.

    I'm in high school. You're assigned a guidance councelor by last name. Mine was... friendly, a early 30-something wrestling assistant coach and the only male. I was big into sports so it was cool. I thoguht he was just really extra helpful and a pretty good guy until around senior year, especially the semester before graduation.

    He'd started pulling me out of my last period class at least weekly to go over college stuff or more than likely just talk about sports and scholarships etc. Which, was usually very cool but he started telling me I could close the door. Uh... No thanks. I'm pretty naive.

    So, he starts asking occasionally when I turn 18 (which he of course freaking knew, he had my records). Then, he started telling me I should come visit him. At home. Drew me a map to his house b/c my softball game that night was near his house; I should drop by after. Since I was just intersted in getting out of class, I was polite but did not take said map with me when I left his office.

    That was seriously pushing the creepiness but we had actually talked about the previous wrestling coach who had had inappropriate relationships with a female student. He had brought it up and couldn't believe someone would do that with a minor... uh huh, sure he coudln't. I tried to believe him. He... was just being nice. Did I say I was naive?

    Anyways, so one day I go by to tell him I got into college of choice or something at lunch. I am sitting there, drinking water and blabbing about getting into school or something. He leans over, slowly wipes a drop of water off my lower lip in the midst of my blabbing, staring deeply (and creepily) into my eyes. I visibly shudder. I jump back and say something like 'What the fuck man?' He goes, oh, you know I was just um, getting that water for you, it was going to drip on your pretty shirt. Ew, gross. I left pretty hastily.

    So, I realized he wasn't just joking around and stopped going by unless I had to, which was less frequent as graduation drew near.

    One day just before graduateion he calls me out of class. Great. So I go in thinking my reaction to the water wiping and incessent 'I wish your 18th birthday was sooner...'-crap had been understood. I guess I was too polite or unclear. He has a present for me.

    Luckily, it's only a paperweight or some b.s. thing or other with my impending colleges emblem. I thanked him politely and wondered in my head did you get every student in our like class of 400 one of these or just me? Let me guess. Just me.

    So, he proceeds to tell me how proud he is of me blah blah. Then starts to GUILT TRIP ME. Says, 'You'll probably forget about me after graduation won't you?' I'm like... of course not... how could I? (I guess that was true...) He then reminds me that he really wants to hear from me and even see me after I graduate... but, um, you know my 18th birthday is at the end of the summer, he'd really like to see me then. (Ew.) Would I mind if he VISITED ME AT SCHOOL/COLLEGE OR WOULD I COME SEE HIM? On and on with this. Getting more serious and 'to the point'. I think another map was drawn possibly. WTF? I think I said I might(to shut him up) and ran like hell from that office and then that school after I graduated. Thank God he didn't look me up...

    What fantastic guidance, huh?

    This was not my worst either.

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  48. gwhizzy - At my first job I had a Mom - Son tag team!!!! OMG I forgot about it until you mentioned it. We did a house call (worked for small animal vet) b/c she had a big kennel. She tells me and the vet how her son was my age and soo this and that. I was like... haha great.

    The son calls the clinic to talk to me a time or two. I think I fell for it once. Immediately the mother called to see what I thought.

    So, next time the come in the clinic, guess who Mommy AND Daddy bring? Yup. Said son. Asking for me. My boss shued me in the back. They keep asking for me and keep getting told I'm busy. They waited like 2 hours after they'd been seen for me to unbusy myself. Then my boss went out and told them to fuck off pretty much.

    They were so pissed they accidentally slammed their van into another clients parked car in the parking lot. And drove away. Hit and run b/c the hook up they had planned for their son didn't go as planned. F'n weird.

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  49. When I was younger, I worked for my father in his luxury home building business. The only employees were Dad (usually out of the office trailer on job sites), a laborer (also on site) and me. We needed a fax machine up-grade so I contacted a certain company to get a new one. They sent a salesman over with the machine the next day. He had the worst teeth I have ever seen on a human, and he reeked of Polo brand cologne. He hooked up the machine, I said thank you very much and figured that was it. Yet he lingered. Eventually, my dad came into the office trailer and Stinky Cologne Guy left. The next day, he returned "to see how the machine is working." I assured him it was fine and thanks for checking. Dad hollered for me from his office, so Stinky Guy left. Then the next day he was there AGAIN. He said he was disappointed that we didn't get to talk the previous day so maybe we could talk now.
    DUDE. I am WORKING. See all these papers on my desk? Hear this ringing phone? WORKING. Try it some time. Anyway, eventually he left, only to return again, a day or two later. And so it went. Eventually, I started locking the trailer door so he couldn't get in, but sometimes he would find away around that, like walking in with a carpenter or electrician. Or he would call. Like I have nothing better to do but talk to him. But he never came in when Dad was there. Finally, I called his work and got the office manager. I told her my story of stalker woe, and she promised to tell her boss. We hung up. Then Stinky Guy stopped by. When he left, I called the Office Manager back. She said her boss was talking to him as we spoke. I chatted with her a few minutes. She mentioned that Stinky Guy was out of the boss's office and back at his own desk. Then my other line rang. I answered it. It was Stinky Guy! He wanted to know when we could get together. I put him on hold, and picked up the line to the Office Manager and said to her "you are not going to believe this, but..... he's on the other line." Office Manager paged her boss and I saw the hold light go off as he hung up. Then the Office Manager gave me play-by-play as the boss fired the dude then and there. Never heard from him again.
    from Rothase

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  50. After reading these comments throughout the day, I'd like to know how many relationships actually get started like this. Do these guys really think, "Well, I know she said to stop talking to her, but maybe if I cruise past her work ONE MORE TIME she'll change her mind. Yes. That will totally happen." I'm probably naive in thinking that these men want actual relationships.

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  51. as an interior designer, i have to work with contractors and general laborers all day. some of the guys are like big brothers. some of the guys think that because you weren't born with a penis you can't possibly understand how to read a tape measurer, let alone blueprints. and the rest of the guys want you and want you to quit playing "your little games" with them. we all know that "little games" does not mean that i give him fuck me eyes and say shit that would only come out of a porn nestled on the bottom of the $3 bin.

    so the most memorable of these guys comes in because we're fabricating some stuff that he needs for his own client. he comes in all the time because he says he's in the neighborhood. sure, i'd buy that because we're located near a lot of blue collar places that sell wholesale to contractors. so i think of nothing of it. then he starts the whole lingering thing. he comes by about 3 times a week and lingers near my desk.

    then one day he comments about my skin and how i'm pale (i'm irish, i can't help it that our bodies hate the sun). he tells me that my sensitivity to the sun would ruin his weekend hobbies. i don't say anything and go back to reviewing plans. then he leans in and says, "yeah, that's right. i'm a nudist." and does the whole eyebrow twitch/wink combo.

    this weekend nudist is all of about 5' tall, rocks a rather nice mullet, and has a giant mole on his face that always makes me think of Uncle Buck ("here's a nickel, why don't you have a rat gnaw that thing off").

    so he proceeds to tell me about his life as a nudist and how he wants to take me out to "the camp". that he'd be more than happy to cover me in sunscreen so i wouldn't burn (nice.) and that parts of me would get burnt that i wouldn't even imagine. naturally, he knows all these places and would make sure he'd get them.

    he ends this whole date concept of his with "... i really think we'd have a magical time."

    yep. okay.

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  52. Rachel, I'd say NONE.

    Unfortunately, like porn, the loser-stalker-gets-the-girl movies are insidious, and have fried the brains of those who can't tell reality from "make believe".

    In real life, the creepy stalker dude DOESN'T get the girl. He gets tazed and a restraining order.

    In real life, women DON'T wear fuck-me heels to bed, aren't into degrading themselves, don't have pillow fights with other women in their lingerie which then turn into hot girl on girl sex, don't want men to ejaculate all over their faces while moaning and licking their fingers, and DON'T think that a huge dick is an asset especially when the rest of the man is an ignorant, gross, fat pig.

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  53. I was specifically thinking of Ron Jeremy with that last comment. Shudder!!!!

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  54. Wow, my sister works as a barista. I really hope she doesn't have any stories like this. I'd not hesitate to do bodily harm to people that harass her. Or just work on ruining their life, that too.

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  55. These stories reminded me of my own gacky story. I was 17 and in high school. I had (at the time) a pretty decent figure. I was on the kick line, I biked, and I got a lot of exercise. I took a film studies course that was taught by a little old troll. He was so old that I figured he was dead and just didn't realize it. However, he still had enough energy left to write me a note during a film--"You look really hot in your miniskirt dress." He actually INITIALED THE NOTE. What a butthead. While my picture was in the encyclopedia next to the word "naive," I did have enough sense to bring the note to my guidance counselor. I understand that after he read my note, he pulled the principle out of a board meeting. Nothing happened to the pedophelic teacher, however, except that I was switched to a different English course. (A much harder one, I might add. Thanks a lot.) This was over 20 years ago. Nowadays there would be a huge lawsuit and I'd be immensely wealthy. Ah well.

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  56. Albiet, some people are stupid, but here is a little advice for all you girls that seem to have problems you obviously don't know how to deal with.

    Say, "I'm not interested." It works in any context, is simple, and polite. Done and done. You can even repeat it when they say something stupid after you say it to them the first time.

    I'll come back and check on you all after that, since, I have this hunch, that you'd rather be retarded and play out this victim mentality instead of acting like a fucking human being.

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  57. I worked in a library at a public university and had to deal with this sort of problem on an alarmingly regular basis. One library patron claimed to be a movie producer too (wow, this is common?), and wanted me to "star" in his "productions". ewwww. Another would come in and talk to me for hours about his maritial problems and how they always came down to his wife being a brunette, saying he preferred blondes (guess what. I am blonde).

    The best, or rather worst one was the HUSBAND of a COWORKER. He would talk to me for hours on end. By talk to me, I mean talk to my breasts. I don't think he looked at my face one time. One night in the library, he made up a fine story about his back hurting and asked me to retrieve a book for him from a high shelf. As I was standing on the stool, he got the World's Creepiest Look on his face and informed me that, in his opinion, I had a "juicy ass". I informed him that he was harassing me and needed to leave before I called security. He left on his own, and avoided me from there on out, but it always was very awkward working with his wife. I wonder if she ever found out what tricks he was up to. I never had the nerve to tell her!

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  58. Anon, if we learn not to be so "retarded", will you learn not to be such an asshole? Maybe you'd even learn to read. ^-^

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  59. The one thing I find encouraging about these stories is the the fact that in several cases the boss, even the self-professed shitty boss, came through for his or her employee.

    Somehow, it makes my looming future as a working bee seem less bleak...

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  60. Um, did you not read the story, Anon? I DID say I wasn't interested. Repeatedly. When a guy I have to interact with in my professional life refuses to take no for an answer, what exactly would you have me do? Other than tell my boss, my coworkers, and eventually, the police?

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  61. @anon1:36,

    Anon1:21 just wants an argument.

    I've seen this guy before, and he's used the exact same wording in another of PLFM's posts.

    Just ignore him. He WANTS you to get upset.

    I think he's just He Who Must Not Be Named.

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  62. I don't think I should have to say "not interested" when I'm 15 to someone twice my age. It's called ILLEGAL.

    ReplyDelete
  63. LOL Actually, I've seen ONE relationship work out because of insessant harassment.
    This girl I used to ride horses with was the trainer of the barn, she was in her mid twenties and I was about 20 then.
    Anyways, we had this dude come to our barn, he was in our 40's and took a liking to my friend. I'd also like to mention that his 20 something wife had recently had a baby but it had died and now their "marriage" was on the rocks, so basically he was on the prowl for another young thing but wouldn't divorce his first wife because he was "catholic". He harrassed her and harassed her and every time she'd say she "wasn't interested" until she finally agreed to go out with him. Like the 6 year old wanting a cookie theory.
    Anyways he was a complete douche bag and she fell into his trap HARD but of course "love is blind" and she couldn't see it. He alienated ALL of her friends and burnt a lot of bridges to the point that they had such a bad reputation that they moved away. We had a major falling out because of him and she contacted me one day (yes I do still have the email... lol) wanting to be friends again but she didn't understand why I got so upset. I thoroughly (yet politely) explained it to her (aka because of your douchebag bf and how he's changed you) and of course none of that was acceptible, blah blah blah. And we never spoke again. Well actually she did try and add me as her friend on facebook and I was like "umm yeah right!".

    Since then I've heard so many stories about this guy and the crap he's pulled.

    ReplyDelete
  64. We get the creepy call and breathe into the phone and ask if our mens' swimwear is small enough for his dick to hang out guys.

    Also, I get calls of: "hey what are you wearing" at least every other week.

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  65. Personally, I can't help but think that Woldemort has a bit of a masochistic streak. I mean, he knows that he's going to get bashed, but there he is, spewing invalid interpretations...

    I was going to end this comment on a terrifically snarky and rather nasty note , but then I realised ...eh...so not worth it.

    You no longer amuse me, fool, go away!

    ReplyDelete
  66. Anon., you're obviously nothing but a troll, but let me say one thing...IF ONLY it were that easy! Yeah, creepy stalker in your life? No problem! Just say you're not interested. Seriously, do you actually think that would work?

    ReplyDelete
  67. The more I think about it, the more I think that Anon-troll must be one of the creepy stalker guys featured on PLFM.
    He's upset that he was featured and that his creeptastic ways were bashed and probably STILL has no freaking clue as to why he got REJECTED the way he did.

    Dude, don't try and blame your obviously screwed up ways on a girl simply because she wouldn't date you. It's not her fault a parasite like you latched on without invite. Somebody get some flea powder!

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  68. I used to work at a bakery and I loved the job except for three things:
    1) I had to get up at 4am
    2) My paychecks frequently bounced
    3) Some of the customers were... uh... terrifying.

    There were the old retired folks who'd sit around nursing a cup of coffee for six hours who'd tell me how I really should go back to school (college) and then quiz me endlessly about my boyfriend, marriage plans, studies, living situation, finances, etc etc etc. Ok, fine. They're old and nosy, it's a small town, whatever.

    There were the Creepy Entitled Men who were ALWAYS white, always over 30, and who would com up behind me and PULL MY HAIR in a "friendly" manner (I had very long hair that I wore in a braid) or who would "chin chuck" me or fake punch my cheek (do NOT touch my FUCKING FACE please) as I gave them their change.

    And then there was That Guy.

    He was older... late 30s to early 40s. He lived with his mom, in her basement. He did not have a job outside of caring for her, and he resented caring for her. He was balding and had a greasy comb over. I mean, ok, I have greasy hair too, but I wash it and keep it tidy. He was very fat, but so am I. I bathe and wear clothing that fits and has all its buttons. He smelled APPALLING.

    He smelled like urine, rancid body odor, spoiled milk, rotting food, and dried semen. All at once. It hit like a fucking HAMMER. His clothes were always wrinkled and duty and often held together with safety pins. And he liked to hug me.

    Because, you know, as a vagina-American my body is public domain and men are entitled to pull my hair, touch my face, or grab my body and pull it close to their reeking body any time they want.

    He was also very into Hentai. And shared it. In public. When small children were around. He was also very into masking-- getting a mask of someone's face, usually a woman's face and made of latex, and usually either very realistic or very anime-ish. He talked about it constantly. He was saving up for such a mask but until he could afford one he was making due with a paper mask he'd cut the pupils out of.

    He was also getting interested in dressing up as a schoolgirl. A greasy, reeking, unshaven, balding schoolgirl. He talked about this CONSTANTLY. Dude, what planet are you FROM where talking about your sexual fetishes in a fucking BAKERY is a good idea? He went to a few cons and since he was very open with his schedule I didn't go those days (I'm pretty nerdy, too, and made the mistake of admitting it before I knew the depths of his antisocial kinkiness) so I could avoid him. He came back FULL of bitchiness. Can you BELIEVE that school girl costumes aren't commonly stocked in a man's 3XL? And that people who sell cosplay stuff won't let you rent it? Or just try it out for a few hours to see if it fits well? Man, those assholes!

    I was taking the train home one day and unfortunately ran into him. The conductor, who knew me because I rode every day, hung out very close to us and tried to kind of intervene in the oppressive conversation.

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  69. HWSNBN is a train that's never late. Thanks Anon 1:21. Now fuck off and let the grown-ups play.

    ReplyDelete
  70. Let me see... having worked in a few different fields, there are creeps on all levels.

    The horse world- owners, clients, trainers, grooms, show management, judges, cattle contractors, feed store employees, vets, their assistants- all having something they think everyone else wants... Yeah, because a horses stall with a steaming pile of crap is such a turn on for everyone. Or how about the back of a horse trailer? Oh. So. Romantic. NOT!


    Retail? Service desk employees get their share as do any sales associates or cashiers. Department managers aren't immune either.

    Warehouse personelle? Vendors, sales reps, delivery drivers, suppliers...

    Construction- varying levels of management, vendors, suppliers, site security, other trade personelle (electricians, plumbers, framers, drywall, painters, HVAC,)


    Creeptastic comes in all forms and Both genders, as well as sexual preferences.

    Fortunatley there have been very few I have had to tell where to go and what to do when they got there.

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  71. When I was 17, I worked in a department store in a mall near my house. There was a 23-year-old guy who came in all the time with his friend. I was civil to them, because they were customers and that was my job. He took this to mean "Hey, let's go in every night and hang out in her department until the store closes." The first time he tried it, I told him he couldn't hand around there all night as I would get in trouble. So he waited for me outside of the store, after work. Thank God my Dad was picking me up. He'd wait for me when I left work, when I got out on break, whenever. I told him to fuck off and die.

    I heard later that he'd been arrested for running away with a 15-year-old and taking her over state lines. Eeeeew.

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  72. Anon1:21 just wants an argument.Anon 1:21 sounds like a bible verse.

    "And Anon said, Fair maid, will thoust allow me to come unto you?

    And the woman replied: No, motherfucker, I'm not interested because you're a douchetastic fuckstain.

    And Anon came to her house and waited outside of her door, weeping with love.

    And the woman got a restraining order.

    And Anon did say, Thoust are a retard, for thoust never said you weren't interested!

    And the woman smote him upside the head with a brick. And it was good."

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  73. Baaahahaa! That's awesome!! Love it!

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  74. @Anonymous: Truth.

    @hellkell: Butthurt by truth. Thinks she's a grown-up. Thinks everyone she opposes is me. 3:)

    @Anonymous: Fails @ reading comprehension and writing. Or is trolling.

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  75. OK, so there's more than one idiot out there. Works for me!

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  76. I have one that isn't nearly so bad. I used to work at a movie theater, and there was a regular who came in 2-3 times a week with his grandma. This guy, mind you, was around 30 years old.

    He hit on all the girls, but he took a special shine to me. On more than one occasion, he said something along the lines of "I'll be back later to see my (my name)." He also invited me to go see a movie with him on several occasions.

    Fortunately, he never attempted to contact me outside of work. I recently saw him in the parking lot of Target and hid behind my boyfriend in case he saw/recognized me. lol

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  77. hellkell: An idiot is never far from you. Even when you're alone.

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  78. When I was 35 I would work at the grocery store every week. There was a young girl that would accompany her mother there, let's call her Lola, I made I was bagging their groceries no matter what aisle they checked out from. I would always compliment her in a very lecherous way and then tell my mother how well she did on "making her".

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  79. When I was a grocery store, every week some hot little slut would come shopping with her sloppy ass mother. Some retarded bagger guy would oogle her and shit. Whatever. You see lots of shit when you are a grocery store.

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  80. So far, unless someone else chimed in since I hit refresh about 5 minutes ago (which would be my luck) I haven't heard from the Hotel Industry, so here I am.

    There is a special flavor of Harassment Hell for customer service people who work in the same building as bedrooms. It is so par for the course to be hit on that it's not even considered a problem until a certain level of persistance, bad language, or creep factor is reached. I also work in a major tourist town, so we have large special events where most of the guests are bikers, or NASCAR fans. I swear to God that if I've heard, "Why don't you come up and have a beer? Aw, I won't tell your boss, if you won't," once, I've heard it a million times.

    I also have the added joy of working 3rd shifts on the weekends. Alone. Yes, I lock the doors, but we don't have a cute little window to pass cash and keys back and forth through, so sometimes I have to let a guest inside.

    So far the scariest, and most persistant was this slightly drunk, big dude who went into the 20 questions game. "What's your name? Where are you from?" I immediately go into the, "I'm married," bit.

    "I don't see your husband here."

    Nice, like that makes sense. I manage to get him out of my lobby, and not 10 minutes later, he's calling to see if he can get me to come to his room. No can do. Then he calls to report that his toilet is clogged, and can I come up and fix it. Oh HELL no. For the record, I don't go to anyone's room at night unless there is a fire alarm. In any case, it was all no. He kept calling and harassing me until I told him that if he was having all these problems, maybe this was the wrong hotel for him. He started to get heated, so I suggested the local police would be happy to show him out. (no refunds) That managed to cool him off.

    One of the more amusing, and thankfully less stalkery offers I had was I was checking in a tipsy, and flirtatious couple. They were busy pawing each other, so I wondered if they would make it to the room. Suddenly the man turned to me and whispered across the counter, "My girl thinks you're hot. Want to come up to the room?" They must have had a psychic link, because I never heard her say a word about me, BUT.. when he said he, she turned her head and smiled at me. SMILED one of those smiles. Ai yi yi... I demured, but I was amused for the rest of the night.

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  81. I deliver pizzas for a living, and let me tell you, you never know just how creepy people can be until you see them on their home turf. I've had men come to the door in bikini animal print underwear. Or this one guy who nearly walked into the room naked while his wife was at the door with me. Had a guy at a hotel stop and offer to help me hold the bags while I got the pizzas out on a big order (wasn't even for his room) and then followed me back to my car while propositioning me. I told him I didn't think my husband would appreciate it, which he responded with "well, you know where I am if you get tired of him" and that he might be calling in for pizza soon, and would I deliver it? Ummm...HELL NO? Gaaaaaah, I had to quick work for a while after that. Creepy stuff.

    Drunken frat parties, stoners, creepy old folks, lonely truckers...yeah. They've got you out of your element and you're wearing a nametag.

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  82. I was a grocery bag once. My sacker was this gross guy who kept hitting on one of my customers, a 15-year-old girl. I could see the fear and disgust in her eyes. But no matter how hard the sacker came on to her, I was still the one who got to go home with her. Later she used me to hold her newpaper recycling. That was sweet!

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  83. *quit work, not quick work. Blah.

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  84. WTF at the Anon posting all the variations on the grocery stories? It's not funny. You can stop now.

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  85. 'The' anon. That's funny.

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  86. maq: I love your guy friends!

    Miss.Chief: "i immediately stormed out of the deli (where i was working), over to where the store manager was eating lunch and said "that motherfucker just sexually harassed me"
    LOL!!

    "Kate": That is awesome that uber doosh's boss got a copy.. let us know what happens!

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  87. I used to do different customer service jobs when I was a teenager and early twenties. The best of these was when I turned 21, worked in an ice cream shop, with a boss that not only let me tell guys off for trying to do what Rick did, but flat out encouraged it. It culminated in a memorable night where I stood on the counter, telling a guy to get the fuck out and never come to our joint again. His crime? Thinking that leaving me a quarter tip entitled him to grab my shirt and take a peek.

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  88. Wow, that's so creepy.

    I have a service industry type job now, working at a movie theater, and my least favorite part of it is just having to deal with rude, arrogant customers.

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  89. These stories follow the same pattern: guy makes unwelcome sexual advances. Girl remains insincerely polite, never takes control of the situation. She 'smoothly' says 'no' or gets excuses to avoid dealing with him or tries to get other people involved to do her work. She leaves it to the guy to guess why she says no (she's busy working at the moment?) or why the timing is always wrong or why this other guy (competition?) is harassing him. He sticks up for himself and guesses wrong, because he's in the worst position and lacks the objectivity to figure it out. When it finally comes out some horrible way (he's hostilely told off, fired, confronted by a gang of her peers), he feels unjustly disgraced that he's narrowly viewed as a problem rather than as a person to whom she could at least bother to explain that she's 'not interested at all'. He doesn't even like hitting of women, since he's so horribly bad and inexperienced at it, but he has to initiate, because women rarely will. He either learns or feels a desire to venge this grievance. Repeat.

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  90. I’ve worked with food for most of my jobs. It’s generally not fun…at all. Though it would seem any job where you have to deal with “customer service” wouldn’t be. Because people can be assholes. Yeah, once or twice there was a nice regular to talk to, or ones that would request I was their server. But most of the time, I hated my job.
    Only time it ever got awkward at least was when I was a hostess at a taco joint. There were, of course, Mexicans working there. They would flirt with me, honestly nothing that I felt threatened from. We would all laugh at it and it never got further then that. One of them gave me the whole “back massage” thing. I squirmed out of his grasp immediately and told him no (supposedly didn’t speak too much English). He never did it again, and I got another job as a server at another restaurant soon after that. But damn, what must go through their head? “Dude, she’s toootaally uncomfortable around me, I should give her a massage to help her ‘relax”……riiight. Or they pull this whole “I don’t understand”…in English…
    I remember back when I was 16, my best friend and I had a mutual friend who was in a local metal band. We’ll call him Josh. Before his band’s performance, my friend and I were goofing off at one of the tables, and one of his band members saw us. He had long hair (you have to if you’re in a heavy metal band!), not attractive at all, and had to be in his late twenties to thirties. He proceeded to nod and lick the air at us…um, creepy. How much older are you then us? >.> My best friend told me later that the creepy long-haired man tried to ask Josh for our phone numbers. Josh informed him that if he ever came near one of us again, creepy-man would answer to him…personally. Needless to say it didn’t happen again.
    Until I was twenty, just a few years ago. Still living with Brain (yay, memories!!…) I thought I would get a job at the local haunted houses they have downtown. Basically just a fun house, all dressed up for Halloween, where you wait and jump out at people. I thought it would be a cool job, plus I remembered Josh saying how many times he’d worked there. Maybe I’d run into him!
    Or maybe I’d run into creepy-longhaired-man. As soon as I saw him, I got a little nervous, but we were all in a big group outside, so I didn’t think too much of it. Of course I ignored him, but he insisted on standing near me and saying…the most degrading things. I don’t even remember most of it. So after the little speech, we all got to run around the haunted house to take a look inside, see what it was like. It was all well and good, but it was dark…with many hallways…and creepy-man wouldn’t leave me alone. I won’t go into detail, but I’m almost positive if there wasn’t other people around he would’ve gotten physical.
    Terrified out of my mind, I left after the little demonstration…and did not return. I even got a call from the boss-lady asking me to come in. I said “ok”…but didn’t. Too scared.
    Thankfully I had Brain to comfort me at home! No wait…his fat-ass was glued to a video game he was playing at the time. I think all he spared me were a few pity glances and hallow words.

    Anon: “And Anon did say, Thoust are a retard, for thoust never said you weren't interested!”

    Man, how stupid do I feel?! It IS all my fault that Brain keeps bothering me. Oh wait...

    Brain: "How you react is almost pointless to me because of this desire to have you know I'm sorry so I can move on with my life."

    Hmm.....

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  91. Kim said... and you're wearing a nametag.

    Reason #1 why I don't wear my nametag at work. I do registration at an urgent care clinic that also does DOT physicals. I get some *oh so lovely* looks from the truckers and some of the patients. I've gotten quite good at hiding behind the various pieces of office equipment so they can't stare at me.

    The worst ones are patients and I have to ask what we're seeing them for today. I had one guy go into waaaay too much detail about his plugged foreskin and how long it'd been since he'd last had sex. Thank God for offices where its easy to hide.

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  92. To Anon above my post, ha!...you're funny :)

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  93. Luckily, I never acquired any creepy stalkers while I was working retail, but my friend worked at Victoria's Secret when she was in college, and that place attracts creepy stalker guys like spilled Kool-Aid attracts ants. If it wasn't guys who'd plant themselves on benches outside the store and stare at the workers (and, presumably, the customers), it was guys who'd ask the workers to model the lingerie for them to see how it would look on their (imaginary) girlfriends. UGH.

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  94. Here's a somewhat sordid tale from the supposedly hallowed halls of academia, albeit it doesn't stem from personal experience, but that of a good friend.

    She was taking a class that required that you did a series of group project. To this end she was permanently paired with a female aquaintance/friend and a slightly older male student. So far so good, she though. People seemed to be pulling their weight. Then he started to remark upon her apperance,read body, eventually uttering that he would like to photograph her legs. My friend might seem a bit mousy at first, but you won't find a more determined woman. Her response was that of deliberately ignoring his suggestions, causing him to call her frigid.

    You see, she had to work with him. The powers that be hadn't and stil hasn't realised that legitimate obstacles may occur that hinder your participation in group projects, such as ilness, pregnancy, sexual harrasment and so forth. What is even worse was that there had been precedents. Anyway, her only other option was dropping the class, thereby forfitting a half years worth of stipend funds, and repeating or taking a replacement class next semester.

    Things came to a head during the final exam, where they had to work together for a week. Apparently he thought that grabbing her braided hair from behind and making as if he was cutting it off with a pair of scissors was a funny and endearing move. Acting on pure instinct, she elbowed him. The result: He was so insulted that he ignored her for several days, while the spineless third member of the group chose to dissapear. Her workload was more than doubled. She did get a passing grade, but so did he...

    More then anything her experience convinced me that sexual harrassment isn't about guys being stupid or working the incessant begging for a cookie approach. It's about dominance! A mere shadow of a man, cluthing his sorry package, while whining "Notice my manly bits, weak woman, I am man, you need man, submit or else!...Everyone will know that I am nothing in my own right..."

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  95. Artemis: You can always go to team managers or instructors about conflicts with collaborators. The point of these projects is learning team management (partly to prepare for the business world) and that's what they and their superiors are there for.

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  96. @Anon: You're definitely one of those guys for whom "What Part of 'No' Don't You Understand?" was written. 'No' means 'no'. Period, end of story. Her reason for saying 'no'? Because she is NOT INTERESTED. There's nothing to guess, no need to try and figure out what she really means. If that is not a clear enough indication to you she's not interested, you're the one with the problem, not her.

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  97. Anon @ 4:36 -
    No means no.
    There's *no* guessing involved, fuckwit. It means NO.
    No.
    No.
    No. She doesn't owe reasons why. Nothing on earth requires one person to reciprocate the romantic/sexual interest of another. NO should be pretty clear on its own, and if it is not, that's the problem of the person who does not understand what NO means. For a lot of babies it is one of their first words, so it's not like it is a challenging concept.
    NO.
    NO MEANS NO.

    Signed,
    No Fucking Means No

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  98. @Artemis: Depends on what university you're at. Some of them (a very tiny percentage, but some) take harrassment very seriously. Of course it took a few million dollar payouts, but academia is pretty change-resistant.

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  99. PS:
    If you're wondering why I'm so hot about this, it's because in a one-on-one situation, a female who says no to a male who won't take that for an answer and who takes it into a physical situation and DOES NOT STOP until he is satisfied is a RAPIST. The female's culpability in the situation - naivete, inebriation, being trusting, youth, etc. - does not mean that her No ever means anything besides NO.

    Signed,
    No Fucking Means No

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  100. *Shudders*

    When I was at University, I worked in a copy center for one of the departments. We were in a tiny little dungeon of a room. It was hot because we were over the boiler room and isolated because we were in the basement and next to the pool. That was fine with us girls. We rarely worked alone, and most people were content with the delivery system for sending us documents and for recieving their completed orders.

    But... *sigh* there were always a couple of older... lonely or pompous professors... that had wandering eyes and a distinct lack of respect for the seperation of the workers' space and the public space. It was annoying most of the time and downright insulting at others. We could pay as little attention to them as possible outside of "How many copies do you want?... to "Here it is. Have a nice day." But they always wanted more. >.<

    If I worked there now... I think some of these profs would be getting told off about boundries. Physical and non-physical ones.

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  101. I recall my family running a calendar stall when I was 15. I had to, on one occasion, pretend to be the boyfriend of my own cousin (17 at the time) so that she could get away from a creepy customer. Thankfully, I didn't have to put on too much of an act (I think she just pointed to me). But nonetheless it was bizarre and kinda awkward that she had to go to such a length to fend this admirer off.

    Fast forward a few years and I was working at a KFC. Even during my time as a supervisor I didn't have to deal with many um, special cases. There was probably more stuff the girls knew of though. And there were a few I still had to deal with:

    When I first started there was one girl who was smoking hot (she could have easily been a model). There was one shift where she was working on the first drive-thru window and I was on the second. And I got tired of EVERY SECOND GUY asking ME for HER phone number.

    We were also conveniently located next to a nightclub and thus got many a drunkard coming in, so it was inevitable that one of our 15-16 year old staff members would be hit on during a friday or saturday night. Most of the time I'd (or another guy would) handle the front counter in the last hour so that none of them would have to deal with it. Still, some would jeer and write up their phone numbers on the window after we shut our doors, in hope of attracting one of our hot young borderline-underage things.

    Unfortunately (and I'm sorry brightenedboy), dealing with creepy men was but one aspect of working in the service industry. I feel sorry for girls in customer service having to deal with letches AS WELL AS all the arrogant bastards, self-centred bitches, 40 year old babies, and plain retards, scammers and psychos everyone has to deal with in customer service. Stories of those could fill (and have filled) a blog about 10 times the size of this one!

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  102. hoppytoad79: You're definitely one of those guys who can't imagine someone can view things from someone else's perspective. Apparently 'not interested' isn't the only reason to say 'no' or did your reading comprehension miss that? When these retards (as people here call them) don't give up easily, they need to be told 'not interest at all', 'go hit on someone else', etc.

    Anonymous 5:52: See above.

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  103. I work at the reception in a Student Residence...

    I could just stop there and you'd get the gist of it, I think.

    But dear god. It's not just creepers who want to get into your pants that we get there, although I've gotten so many of those random guys who come and hit on you and think you're interested because you don't run screaming that they kind of blur together.

    The real pain in the ass for me is the people who think that, because you are a literally captive audience, that you like them in any way shape or form.

    There's this guy, let's call him Mat, who had body odor you can smell a room away, and I'm not exaggerating. He smells like feces, and again there is no exaggeration there. It's like he doesn't wipe his ass or something. He's also the most awkward conversationalist in the world. And he's been going around professing that both I and my girlfriend (who also works in this same Residence building) are like his best friends because he will come, hang out at the desk, and not leave literally for HOURS. And he is the kind of person who says shit like (these are both direct quotes) "you know, I'm not racist, but I really hate foreign people", and (context here being that I'm a girl dating another girl) "my family's religious and they don't like, you know, lesbians, but I'M totally okay with you people"... and for serious, in both cases, NOT GET that that's offensive shit to say. And management doesn't tell him to knock it off, even though HE actually WORKS at the residence offices. I think they either doesn't take him seriously, or they feel bad for him, because he's in a wheelchair. >.> It drives me mad because he is constantly really inappropriate.

    And then there's people like the security guard who was hitting on my girlfriend while she was on desk by bragging that he chased a bottle collector off of campus like someone who was just trying to earn some pocket change by collecting bottles was threatening. >.> AND the guys who will stare intently at your breasts when they come up to talk with you...

    ...okay, to be fair, I did once get hit on in a rather sweet manner: This guy passed me a note and scampered off (which was adorable as he was like six foot something and a basketball player), and the note said "Pretty blue eyes, wnat to go out with me?" I actually felt kind of bad turning that guy down when he came for a response. XD

    So, guys who find the girl behind the counter cute: There's a bad way to do it (assume that she's interested), and a good way to do it (ASK IF she's interested).

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  104. An addendum to Kat above: If you ask and the girl says: no, no thank you, not interested, thanks anyways, or any variation on the theme that is NOT a yes, do not ask again.

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  105. (that should have been "thanks anyways, but..." [insert whatever reason here]. Just to clarify).

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  106. Anon

    yes and, er, no.

    I. The grading of the exam in question is based on the written product, not on your participance in the group activities as evaluted by team managers or instuctors. In this context learning team management is a secondary priority or an added bonus, so to speak. Hence the team instructors can only adwise, not sanction.

    II. As I said there had been precedents. One case involved actual physical violence. Still, the victim was forced to work with the agressor or forfeit the class.

    Of course she could have exposed his piggish behavior. Maybe a public shaming would do the trick, I don't know. Most likely he'd make some sort of nasty counter claim. In the end she decided that the eventual gain wouldn't outweigh the costs and chose not to pick that battle.

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  107. Pretty blue-eyed Kat: Omg. The note thing sounds really adorable! Something like that is definitely fine. He asked, and I assume when you told him no, he didn't freak the hell out and get all crazy on you. Awww man. I can't get over how cute that was.

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  108. No means no. No matter what. Got that? No means no. It doesn't mean 'no becuase I'm at work' it doesn't mean 'not right right now.' It doesn't mean 'I'm pretending to have a boyfriend so I can tease you along.' It doesn't mean 'I'm playing hard to get.'

    It

    Means

    NO.

    I have a story of my own to share. I am an artist and my is a musician who also does sound. Meaning he sets up the microphones and the speakers and runs the mixing board. Well, sometimes I would go out with him and see different bands he was playing in or doing sound for. I was going to a bar to see a band we were friends with and my hubby doing sound. Now when I go to bars were all my friends are going to be on stage, I bring my sketch book. Often I end up sketching the band, and have had a few offers after the show to design posters and T shirts. Not a bad gig really. Well this night the bar is packed all I can find is a seat in the “porch” section, where the band can't see me and I can't see them, let alone my husband. Well, I get a beer and sit down. I had several nice talks with people coming over and asking what I was drawing until the drunk creepziod arrives. He starts by asking if I do tattoos. Not an unreasonable request. That quickly escalates however into incredibly personal questions and innuendos. Keep in mind he's drunk. I tell him point blank, flatly I'm married. So am I he says. Great. Then he starts badgering me to draw him a tattoo. I ask what he has in mind, he says something evil. Okaaaaaay. Not to mention that unless you are a very good friend I charge for that sort of thing. I sketch a demon face as fast as I can hand it to him and say here you go, goodbye. He insists I can do better. In a bar, at like 11 O' clock at night, for no money. I tell him no, I can't, that is all you are going to get. If he had just stayed away, It would have been fine, but oh no. He comes back repeatedly, asking if I could draw him something else, you know, maybe draw him something else at his place. I am not being nice here. I am saying things like “No I can't leave me alone. Don't talk to me again. I am here with my goddamn husband he is in the motherfucking band.” Does he get the hint?, yes, but only for about 30 minutes. At the end of the night I told my husband 'we are never coming back to this bar' threw his audio equipment in our car and tore out of the parking lot. *shiver* Not really an at work story, but kinda close. Still makes me think WTF even years after.

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  109. What's with these moronic trolls trying justify their constant sexual harassment? Apparently their tiny penises prevent them from understanding how normal humans work. Sometimes straight up telling a guy you're not interested leads to aggression. And you know what women hate even more than verbal harassment? That's right! It's physical abuse!

    Here's a question I came across on Yahoo Answers: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=ArLXcY3H2Kpt0_.oNU3mWd_ty6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20090527131642AA8blxe&show=7#profile-info-hlOhlCcVaa

    This guy is creepy and everyone is backing him up! "So the kid's dad is out of the picture? How about you give me your number?!" She says no, and he thinks she's a bitch. Apparently looking at someone (especially someone you feel threatened by) means you want to fuck him. Who knew?

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  110. Lynnie, that is the creepiest thing I have ever heard. He reminds me of those guys who like women to pretend they're dead during sex because they're closet necrophiliacs. I would have ended that in ICU, too. Good on you!

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  111. Wow, that yahoo question is also horrifying. There are a few people who are being reasonable in the responses, but they're getting "thumbs down" votes? Yikes.

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  112. hellkell

    yep, that is very much the case.

    Btw, civil suits are extremely rare in the scandinavian countries.

    Thankfully, my experience with various professors have been deviod of any kind of sexual harassment. However, they do work for several years on what is basically a trial basis and are part of a small, tighly knit, professional community. Hence the majority of psychos don't obtain the chair or any other kind of much coveted steady employment.

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  113. I work as a dancer in a strip club. Although 'sexual harassment' by customers is considered to be something rather more sinister than comments of a sexual nature (and we don't get many stalkers either), sexual physical contact is strictly forbidden and the girls self-police it if circumstances permit. The best thing is that we do not have to be nice about it. For example: I told the last guy that mildly groped my ass that "that was f*cking it" and had him thrown out the club. The worst I've ever done is hit a guy over the head with my bag (heavy!), grab his face and growl something to the effect of "you f*cking touch me again, I'll f*cking kill you, and then have him thrown out. These are rare occasions though. Most guys are usually well-behaved...

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  114. Dang at the Yahoo post. Seriously, he writes this down, and somehow, one of the (female) responders comes up with:

    "I don't think you did anything wrong or weird. I think she is just very strange. I think she has some psychological problems related to a relationship."

    Well, heeellloooo Dr. Phil!! Seriously? Where the hell did they get that conclusion?

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  115. lol Amber XD You posted right after me. He's a silly boy. Hopefully he'll become a good man.

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  116. Okay, so.

    Weasel:

    a) Has a large group of female friends who are inclined to sit around with him crying on his shoulder as they share horror stories about their loser boyfriends/stalkers.

    b) Is Quite The Wit.

    c) Writes (at least?) two blogs, both of which have as their focus ridiculing men of a certain type. Namely, 1) Machismo-oozing heterosexual gel-haired douchebags, 2) Heterosexual loserly men who harass women.

    Now call me a bitchy old gossip, but what are YOU thinking now?

    Weasel?

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  117. casualencounters...

    *gags while laughing*

    If you don't like it here... fuck off.

    ^^ Have a nice day!

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  118. Artemis: A reason colleges have teamwork when it's often not needed is criticism that they don't adequately prepare graduates to collaborate effectively in business environments. Professors and administrators are well aware of team problems: personal conflicts, unproductive members, poor planning, inconsistent, rushed work, redundant work, poor leadership/management, lack of structure, lack of constructive criticism, unhelpful criticism. They expect (or hope) students will figure out how to effectively organize a team themselves: define duties, goals, policies (to resolve conflicts and unsatisfactory work and keep members accountable) in advance; choose an effective approach to schedule and assign work; plan meetings, write and share meeting minutes, write memos; draft, revise, and finish work among all team members. They don't consider disparities in teammate contributions partly because they expect students to figure out a good teamwork process that holds everyone accountable. This includes reporting to a professor if a team cannot resolve an issue themselves. Of course, students hardly figure out a good teamwork routine. I think it's unrealistic to expect them to without specific training. But this is part of the reasoning that goes into making teamwork assignments, even if you're not aware of it.

    Either your school is retarded or people didn't report things to the right people. Professors have department chiefs. Chiefs have deans. There are advisors, counselors, ombudsmen, students' affairs offices. College has all kinds resources and people you can turn to.

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  119. Amber Pederson: Yeah, he was adorable and impressed me by being totally cool with being turned down, if maybe a bit sad. :) If I'da been single, I probably would have taken him up on it! Hee.

    Anon 6:20/21: Yeah, you're 100% right! I forgot to add that bit on.

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  120. ** These stories follow the same pattern: guy makes unwelcome sexual advances. Girl remains insincerely polite, never takes control of the situation. She 'smoothly' says 'no' or gets excuses to avoid dealing with him or tries to get other people involved to do her work. **

    Here's the thing: in every customer service position I've held, being "nice" has been part of my job. If I'd told anyone off, he (or she) could have (and at times did!) call a supervisor and attempt to get me fired. One woman who tried to pull a scam that involved stealing hundreds of dollars of goods and who spent 45 minutes screaming invective at me and the 16 year old girl I was training followed up the next day by calling my direct supervisor and also every single person above my supervisor for several levels trying to get me fired. I and the trainee both gave our version of what happened, but if I hadn't had a witness who corroborated my story when we were questioned separately, I would have been fucked.

    So people, generally women, who work customer service have two options:
    suck it up and take the harassment
    or
    run the risk of getting fired.

    I don't know about you, but I've got bills to pay. But, you know, it's totally awesome that you're trying to blame women for mens' bad behavior. That's totally unique and I've NEVER seen that before EVER.

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  121. Anonymous 6:40: "It doesn't mean 'no becuase I'm at work' it doesn't mean 'not right right now.' It doesn't mean 'I'm pretending to have a boyfriend so I can tease you along.' It doesn't mean 'I'm playing hard to get.'"

    Good job thinking up various other things no could mean.

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  122. My sister sells....
    CARS
    Yes she is the only female there. Last week she returned from a bathroom break to find her phone had been moved slightly from it's usual spot.
    This flip phone now had a new background image.

    BALLS dick pubes you get the picture...

    Usuing my HR background I suggested that she just tuck it away pretend it was not noticed and make a beeline ofr the best sexual harassment lawyer in the EAST.

    That would be incongruent with her instant gratification whats in it for me 'coping' methods. OH no we have to go have a cigarette with the perp...
    She looked and said, " Do you like your job here?" YES he studdered.... She said How much?
    He said very much. She proceeded to extort 1500 HUNDRED dollars from him and fix the tranny on her BEAMER

    TRUE story
    I have some good ones but it is too late tonight... great blog post and topic however!

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  123. I knew (OK, dated, but he was good in bed) a dingledorf who told me that he'd often write his phone number on napkins for cute waitresses, but for SOME reason, none of them ever called him!

    Gee whillikers.

    We have a sad sack coworker who hasn't had a date in about a dozen years. Whenever ANY young, attractive woman is merely polite on a professional level, he gets all gooey, but he also has a very strict old-fashioned sense of The Appropriate that puts him in weird situations, and prompts very odd conversations...

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  124. Becca, that is AWESOME.

    I am now a happier woman for reading that story.

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  125. my mom has some great stories from working in the customer care industry for 32 years! one of them is kind of backwards though, the lady who was taking calls hung up on a male customer because he was grunting and breathing hard so she ASSUMED he was masturbating while calling the customer care line. turns out he was moving furniture. you think she could have asked before just hanging up on the man, though. if i recall she might have even called him a pervert before hanging up. and one time, one of the males who takes calls had phone sex with a customer, i know its not stalkery but still creepy that the customer (and the employee) would do that willingly KNOWING the calls are recorded and with some stranger.

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  126. Brigid Keely: It's totally cool you didn't read the rest about simply saying 'not interested at all' like you would to a person. Expressing disinterest doesn't require the hostility of 'telling someone off' last I checked. Great false dilemma you pose to explain why you can't have responsibility to take control, yet somehow everyone can take more drastic actions that involve others and don't get fired. Nice failure to note that abusive customer situation could have happened to a guy just the same!

    A+++++

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  127. I work at a movie theatre, which as you may guess attracts every creep, weirdo, and pedophile under the sun (everyone likes movies). So one night I'm working the late shift and I'm just hanging out on one of the benches in the lobby waiting for movies to get out so I can clean the theatres. After this guy, whom I'd helped previously (handing him popcorn and what have you), comes out of his movie and preceeds to hit on me. He began telling me about how (believe it or not!) he'd never had a girlfriend. He also told me about how he didn't have any money, had never gone to college, and still lived with his parents. To make matters creepier, he even offered to help me clean the theatres so we could "get outta here and maybe get some dinner". He said this right after he'd just help up the last $3 he had.

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  128. When I worked at my local movie theater when I was 18 I was harassed numerous times. The main one i remember was these 2 guys came in and bought some food from me. They started to hit on me while i was getting their food and asked me when my break was. I just smiled and told them that i had just returned from my break. They just smiled and and went to their movie. About 10 minutes later one of the guys returned and asked me again to come see the movie with them. Again i said no. He left and then about 20 minutes later the other came back and asked the same question. They came back about 5 or 6 times. I dont know why they would think I could just leave in the middle of my shift. Plus Im not a dumbass and going into a dark room with 2 guys I never met before. I start my new job at Journeys Shoes next week and luckly the manager is protective of the employees since its all girls working there

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  129. Oh god, working in the service industry has got to be the creepiest experience at times. I work at the local Dairy Queen, and frankly, I love it. We're super busy so the days go by so quickly. You get a wide demographic of people. Business people, soccer moms, and unfortunately, old men who come to watch ladies eat their ice cream cones. I've had my fair share of creeps hitting on me. For instance, when I prepare certain ice cream products, I end up with a 'streak' of ice cream right across my chest. Yeah, handy right? Because, you know, I love when men stare at my ice-cream covered chest and tell me: "You look a bit sticky", "I bet you taste like vanilla"...

    But the creepiest thing happened when my mothers ex boyfriend came in. She was dating him back when I was, like, 5? He was a firefighter at the time, so he was pretty ballsy and thought a lot of himself. Scared the shit out of me as a kid, because I had a fear of heights, and he would constantly hold me upsidedown and 'swing' me around. So, yeah, not very fond of this fellow. He comes in with his friend, who is one of the other creepers we keep an eye on. I never knew they traveled in pairs, but man, creep factor doubles! So while his friend is busy hitting on my co-worker (who is happily married and is trying to ignore him), this fellow, lets call him Tim, comes over to me.

    "Hey, aren't you Barb's kid?" he asks.

    "Uh, yeah...Tim, right?"

    "Wow, you remember me! You were just a little kid back then! I must've had a big influence on you for you to still remember me!"

    I was 20 by this time, and yeah, I remembered him as the guy who stalked my mother when she left him and who terrified me to death regularly.

    "I have a good memory for faces."

    "Ah, yeah I guess that's part of it too. So, how's your mom doing?"

    "Fine."

    So I proceeded to take his order, trying to ignore how he leaned over the counter super close to me and how he had looked me up and down while ordering. I went to get his food together and told my supervisor about his creep-factor. Thankfully, she was like a second-mom for me, so she kept an eye on things. So I finished his order, brought it back, and as I was walking over he was looking me up and down again. Ugh! He's easily in his early 50s at this point. I give him his tray of food, and he starts eating it right at my till! I'm kind of giving him this funny look at this point and asking if there was something else.

    "Is your mom still single?"

    "No. She's in a different relationship." It was actually true. She was dating a 30 year old. Hah! Cougar.

    "Oh, that's a shame... " He then looked me up and down one more time, and then leaned in close and asked: "And how about you? Are you single?" The wink he gave me nearly made me hurl. I ran to the back and told my bosses everything. They couldn't really do much, since apparently the two had been customers there for years without any problems, but I was given permission to leave my post whenever they came around.

    Shortly after that I transferred to a different store. I still kept in touch with my friends, and apparently he came around asking about me whenever he was in town. Thankfully, he doesn't know where I work now. Never imagined I'd be creeped on by my mother's ex boyfriend.

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  130. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  131. Man do I feel lucky!! The worst I've had was an older guy (60s? 70s?) coming into the shop I work in (ladies clothing boutique, although we also sell accessories and perfumes) to buy something for his wife. He was looking at the perfumes, trying to decide which she'd like, being very nice and friendly when suddenly he leans in real close and takes a deep whiff. Then he says that I smell good and asks me what perfume I'm wearing.

    Dude...you just invaded my bubble...

    I'm a total wuss though, and just blushed, mumbled something about not wearing any perfume, and shoving a perfume at him. I'm still boggled at being sniffed by a customer.

    One of my coworkers has been there for years and has had a few stalkers. One guy, I'll call him "Bob", would come in all the time to talk with her. All of us who work there get major creepy vibes from him, but unfortunately he would buy things so we couldn't just tell him to go away. So Bob was one of those older, unkempt, smelly, gross guys who was always in dirty clothes and stained sweatpants but he'd constantly tell my coworker that he was loaded and "would/could take care of her if she ever split up with her husband"...yes, he knew she was happily married, with three kids. She eventually started calling him on his bullshit but he'd still stop by alot, flirt with all us salesgirls, and even brought in a prostitute he called his "girlfriend" who he bought tons of stuff for to show off how "loaded" he was. Finally, thank god, he moved out of town. We found out right after he moved that he'd been recently banned from one of the local furniture stores for getting too friendly with the salesgirls there and for taking naps on the mattresses (and inviting the girls to come lie on the mattresses with him to test them out)....ewwwww I'm so glad he's gone.

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  132. I've had a few but luckily none of them have been horrible (and the ones I remember happened when I was underage. I guess at 22 I'm no longer young enough for creepizoids).

    I was 17 and working at a fast food place which closed at 1 or 2am with a skeleton staff of me and my 18 year old sweet-but-druggy male co-worker AKA not protector. This would be the main reason I quit but at the time I needed the job and it was the only one around. This guy in his 30s and actually quite attractive would come around. He was in the NHL, according to my co-worker, and was kind of a local hero. For some reason I kind of don't get he found my grease stained, old work shirt and baggy eyes attractive. He would bring a friend in to talk to my co-worker while he chatted with me. He knew full well I was in high school (Catholic), in grade 11 in fact, but he kept on coming in same time, same day for quite some time. Each time he got a little more inappropriate about my status as a student, what I looked like in my uniform, etc. Being 17, at my first job, and desperate not to be fired (really bad management, not like they were going to stand up for me) I had to go along with it. Then, once things got a little too weird I managed to work in MY AGE to the conversation a little pointedly. Then he never came back. Not as dangerous/creepy as most stories but it freaked me out at the time.

    My job doing surveys over the phone had it's highlights. Fortunately I was able to hang up on Mastrabating Guy (I had to take a walk after this) and thank God it was over the phone because some guys who asked me out were a little insistant. Apparently doing an opinion survey about your satisfaction with the police service in your area = I want you.

    Oh, and drunk golfers who "drop items" to see you bend over to get it, lame. Hauling a drunk one off of my terrified fifteen year old co-worker, horrible. Apparently I can stand up for others better then myself.

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  133. Wow, I feel lucky I never worked in the service industry. I've been sexually harassed in every job I've ever had, but most of it was pretty mild. I've found the best way to avoid it is gain power. All harassment happened to me when I was new in my job. I was really good at my job, and when my managers began to promote me up the ranks, the harassment would stop--especially when I outranked the harassers.

    The first time I was exposed to it was the very first day I went to work, on my very first job. I was a summer intern at IBM working in an administrative department. I went into the building and got lost looking for my manager's office. I was only 18 years old, nervous but eager to do well in my first ever job. A guy spotted me wandering around and cornered me--I mean LITERALLY cornered me, as in he backed me into a corner and stood too close, and I had no way to back away from him.

    I've forgotten his name but I'll never forget what he looked like. Curly hair, 40ish, paunchy, with a long saggy face. With his intimidating behavior, he imprinted on me as "creepy" and now I can't look at any guy who looks remotely like him without being totally grossed out.

    He asked me who I was and what I was looking for. I told him, and he said in a pompous manner, "Oh, you work for me." Turns out he was my 3rd-line manager--ugh. He took me to my manager's office and that was that. Not too bad, right?

    Well, apparently it was worse for other women. I made friends with two other women in the office, both named Laura. Once I was going to lunch with one of the Lauras, and we turned into a hallways that Creepy Guy was walking down. Laura quickly pulled me into another hallway and said, "Let's go another way." And that's when I realized I was not the only woman who really didn't want to be around this guy.

    When the summer was nearly over, the Lauras came and fetched me. We went into an office and closed the door, and they informed me that Creepy Guy was no longer our 3rd-line manager. He'd been demoted for fucking his secretary. Here's the funny part. Guess who turned him in? His wife! Who then filed for divorce.

    He was removed from management, but it seems to have been only a slap on the wrist. I left after that summer, but the Lauras and I stayed in touch, and they informed me after about a year that he was being promoted up the ranks again. I never learned what he'd done to the Lauras to make them want to avoid him. All he ever did to me was back me into a corner and force his way into my personal space. But I've found that guys who do not respect a woman's personal space do not respect her boundaries at all and are very likely to be future sexual offenders.

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  134. Bless...gals, you need to develop THE LOOK. I inherited mine from my Mom. THE LOOK that can boil cheese or send children screaming for their mommies...a veritable death-ray from your eyeballs that can shrivel male human balls at 30 paces.

    As a tender young lass, I did the waitress/retail gigs and was hit upon repeatedly by the lame and clueless...you don't say anything, you just give them THE LOOK. The look that says, "you're lower than athelete's foot fungus under my tits; you are scum that is not fit to even gaze upon me, much less speak to me; you will NEVER get anywhere near me, much less into my pants."

    Again, don't speak; guys with hard-ons don't hear speech. But THE LOOK? As their dicks recede into their stomach cavities and their balls are reduced to the size of raisins...they will understand. Oh, yes. They get it every time. And they will leave you the fuck alone, thank god.

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  135. @ Anon 2:44 (lol it does sound like a bible verse), wanted to add your post was hilarious.

    @ Kate, I hope you get rid of this creep!

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  136. Man. I love how the anonymice equate a guy ignoring a woman's 'no' with 'standing up for himself.'

    It's a telling choice of words, isn't it? "Sure, she said no. But, by god, she isn't the boss of me! I'm standing up for myself by ignoring her 'no,' and doing whatever I like to her. Hurray for me and my iron spine!"

    I worked in a couple of jobs in which a guy asked me to lunch and I said 'no.' Fortunately, he didn't stand up for himself, and just took my 'no' at face value. Imagine that.

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  137. Anonymous 10:48: Good at narrowly focusing on a misquoted phrase while ignoring context/failing reading comprehension. Very good.

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  138. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_harassment

    For people wanting references XD

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  139. Oh, boy. I'm a 20-year old who's worked at Home Depot and Lowe's since I was 18. Most people think I'm between 12 and 16...My first day at HD, about 3 months after I turned 18, a man in his 50s came up, put his hand on the small of my back and said, "Honey, I just wanted to let you know you're the finest thing I've seen in a LONG time." Eh...thank you? The woman training me just stared in horror.
    A few months later a fat, balding man in his mid-40s came in yelling because we'd delivered the wrong lumber to him. I calmed him down and sent him to a manager, which he apparently took as an invitation to give me his phone number and address and invite me to his "Egyptian themed" party at his house. "In case you get bored at home alone on Saturday." Yes, he said that. I was still living at home so I gave the number to my mom who called and told him if he ever spoke to me again she'd bust out both of his kneecaps. She told him she doesn't appreciate 45-year old pedophiles hitting on her daughter. "I'm 30, not 45!" That was his defense...way to be.
    I don't know how many other men have complimented my sunny attitude at work, told me they love how I always smile, then asked me on a date. Very soon after I started at HD I bought a fake diamond ring. It's saved my ass countless times. They tend not to be that overt on the first attempt.

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  140. I worked for a land courier once, taking orders and contacting drivers about signatures they were supposed to get in order for us to prove documents et/al were delivered and so they could be paid for working.

    Their was one old guy, a Vietnam vet, who had a limp and was named C. I used to be friendly to C. because I respected veterans and well I was supposed to be nice to our drivers. Well apparently C. who was pushing 50, limpy because of a bullet he took in Vietnam, and just kinda fat and gross thought that me being nice to him means i must want him.

    This resulted in him telling me that the limp wasn't because he was in Vietnam but was because of the size of his member. Then he offered on several occasions to show it to me/sleep with me. which of course resulted in the boss getting on to him (half heatedly cause he was a creep and sleeping with quite a few of the female employees.)

    another time at this same job one of the drivers came in to turn in his paper work and was upset, his mother had cancer, and me being a nice person I talked to him about it. He cheered up, and sometimes when he'd come through i'd make small chat and ask how his mom was doing. Eventually she became so ill he had to move across country to take care of her, and when he did we had a long "bye" conversation where i wished him the best, and he then hugged me, told me i had the "biggest titties he'd ever saw" and gave me the hotel he was staying at till he left in the a.m. ew. yuck. no. i was being your friend.

    i also worked retail once (gee i wonder why i got sick of the courier), and my manager had this gross old guy from Turkey who was balding and old enough to be her grandfather..anyways he'd come in and offer to pay her 300 an hour to "massage" him. He'd spend TONS of money at the store trying to impress her (and much to the annoyance of his wife). When they closed the store he drove her nuts for her number or where she was x-fering it..now i was at this job cause i was putting myself through college later in life, and told my manger who was about 5 years younger "look, just tell him you're switching jobs, working on the other side of town, and that you don't want contact with him" well i ended up telling him that "she's moving to a kfc on the other side of town, by the way you make her uncomfortable and if you bother her again I'll tell your wife" that pretty much worked, and when i x-fered to a store with her and he showed up randomly about 5 months later he looked like a kicked puppy. oh well. i guess kfc didn't work out.

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  141. To the 10:28 Anonymous:
    Good at totally ignoring context and social situation comprehension regarding the fact that just being told no once is sufficient for most normal, well-adjusted, intelligent adults. They deal with it and go on with their lives in a way that does not involve annoying/scaring the person who, for reasons they do not have to ever share, said no. The expectation of interest from someone in whom you are interested is not a human right, so "standing up for [oneself]" is a specious claim.

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  142. I use to work at a Japanese Steakhouse. Talk about men and their Asian fetishes. We all wear the kiminos as our uniforms. Never had a real stalker. (Unless you count Marine Corps recruiters as stalkers). But guys look at you like you're a prositute. I had a middle age dude start hitting on me when his wife was in the bathroom.
    I also had a rowdy bunch of guys that were unnerving me. I told the head chef about it and he said no worries, all of us know how to use knives. Which is true. One good thing the boys had our backs if we had a creepy guy bug us. We all had a wierdo guy creep us out.
    I guess some men have this thing in their head that us Asian women are submissive and just because we are their waitress, we should bow down to them and respond to their every beck and call. Because we do serve them, their minds go all over board. Augh, so annoying.
    My old manager wore a wedding band even though she wasn't married. I asked her (I was naive 19 then) if it actually worked. She said hell no, I think it attracts the pervs more.

    ::shakes head::

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  143. "just being told no once is sufficient for most normal, well-adjusted, intelligent adults. They deal with it and go on with their lives in a way that does not involve annoying/scaring the person who, for reasons they do not have to ever share, said no."

    That SOUNDS all very well & good, Naive Anon... but you are either very young & sheltered, or... you live in a Very Nice World.

    "Polite Society" is a great idea, but unfortunately the world isn't all that civilized. In fact, even "Polite Society" has its low points.

    Otherwise, we wouldn't have this here blog, with scads of anecdotal evidence about (even outwardly normalish) men who don't hear "no."

    Or even "there is NO fucking way I would EVER go out with you, douchebag."

    I see a lot of college students in my work who seem to have this idea that the world is a reasonable place, and that people are intelligent, rational beings who operate in good faith, and we just need to explain things logically so that they will understand and be good.

    Uh huh.

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  144. You know, I actually have a story or two, now that I think about it.

    I used to work in a library. There was an elderly patron who would come in all the time and would often come back into the office and use our phone. He definitely wasn't all there, you know? But he was a respected professor emeritus, so we were always really polite to him and let him use our phone ALL THE TIME. One day he came in to look at Playboy, apparently for an article for his research. That isn't the creepy part. He came to our Christmas party about 2 years ago and getting a little too friendly with my coworker (I'd say she was about 21 at the time). Then...he tries to sit on her lap. This 70-80+ old man sat on my coworker's lap in the middle of our Christmas party with a ton of people around. That poor girl. And of course he still comes into the library to do his research and acts like nothing happened.

    This next one isn't about getting hit on at work, but it's about being underage. I was sitting on a couch at a BYOB night in my hometown when I was 16. This drunk guy sat next to me, smelling of alcohol and vomit, and started speaking some German. "Ich liebe...die Zivilation!" I started speaking German back, so he stopped, knowing he wasn't going to impress me with his crappy language skills. He kept talking to me, and telling me about how he was a feminist. Then he got all wistful and was like, "Ah, but you're, what? 18? Way too young for a grad student like me..." After I told him I was 16, he still kept talking to me, his rancid breath right next to my face. God, I've never been able to shake off creepy guys. I'm way too scared to be assertive and hurt some creep's feelings. I'm much better now that I'm an adult and I know what I want, though. (hint: it's not sexual predators and sweaty losers)

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  145. I worked at my local Walgreens when I was in high school. Thankfully, I didn't get hit on that often, and the ones who did never came back. I perfected The Look that one of the Anons mentioned above at a young age. It's the handiest weapon in my arsenal. However - one summer, two male coworkers got fired in two separate sexual harrassment cases. I was never directly involved, but I backed up one coworker's story.

    I got hit on by a client when I was a social work student (working in a community residence). He was middle aged, formerly homeless, and had a double diagnosis of a severe mental illness and substance dependence. He asked me for a date and I looked him in the eye and said coolly, "That's inappropriate, don't you think?" He said, "Yeah..." and walked away. The other counselors in the office with me at the time had warned me that would happen. I was the youngest worker there, and the clients there rarely had any contact with women in their 20s. But man, with all his problems, even he knew to give up.

    I now work in an office at a large company. I used to get middle aged salesmen (coworkers) trying to make me pay attention to them. I'd always glance up at them briefly, then continue typing and saying nothing more than "mmhmm." Most of the time, they got the hint, but if they continued to linger, I'd give the The Look and they'd hurry away. Now I think I have a reputation as being rather humorless. Which I'm okay with.

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  146. When women go to work they shouldn't have to be in the frame of mind to deal with sexual advances, it's not a bar or a club. They are at work, trying to get tasks done...perhaps this is one of the reasons why when they are hit on they are slightly off the 'comeback wagon'.

    I used to work in a shop selling designer jewelry and paintings. We got a lot of people in, and it was extremely important to be well-mannered and polite at all times. I have a whole host of stories from working there, so I'll just share a few.

    I was selling on the jewelry counter one day and this man (50s?) came to buy a necklace for his wife. He asked me to try it on, which was a common thing for men buying gifts to ask and so I did. He thought this gave him the right to touch my breasts and compliment my 'firm flesh'. He bought the necklace and a couple of other items and left. The next day I got a call at work, he began asking about other relating items and then asked if I could deliver them to his house for him to look at. I declined, saying everything had to stay on the premises. He said that the necklace looked better on me than on his wife. I laughed politely at first and then he said 'I was going to send it to you, I want you to model it for me on that firm flesh again'. Taken aback and unable to think of a response I hung up the phone. He did send it to me at the shop, along with a letter describing what he wanted to do to me. He came in later that day and was escorted off the premises. I still see him from time to time through the window watching me work.

    This one is much worse: a man came in browsing and started to create some general chat with my colleague. Part of the job is having conversations with the buyers as some of the sales were of very large amounts and people don't usually want to give that kind of money away without some friendliness and personality. No flirtation < let me just clarify that for all you trolls out there. He buys a painting and asks it to be delivered. Personally. She explains that someone else will and brushes off the (joking?) remark. He then starts coming in every day for the next week, looking around the shop and chatting to her. Uncomfortable of course, she dropped in casually that she had a boyfriend and he mentioned he had a wife. He then started bringing her lunch. She immediately said what you guys say is the Holy Grail, 'I'm sorry, but I am not interested in you'. He called her a 'stupid bitch' for thinking that he was hitting on her and left.
    He attacked her in the car park later that week.

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  147. Back in high school, when I was just 17, I took a blind date to prom. Very good looking, superb dancer, etc. I gave him a kiss good-night but reminded him that I already had a boyfriend and wouldn't be seeing him again.

    He called the next day.
    And the next.
    And the next...

    I stopped answering by the third day, but had to delete about 9 messages from my voice-mail daily. Then he found my little sister on Facebook, and started asking her to get messages to me, till she blocked him.

    Then he found out where my youth group met.

    Since he wasn't actually a member he stayed outside and would wait for me to be leaving. My friends had told me to just ignore him and he would go away, so I made no response each time he approached me after meetings. He began following me to my car and climbing on the hood to keep me from leaving.

    I drove off anyway.

    He would fall off at the bump leaving the parking lot, throw down his skateboard, follow my car on it to the traffic light, and CLIMB BACK ON!!! For the three traffic lights it took to get out of the 25-mph zone!

    It finally took getting every adult male I knew and his parents to threaten him for the absurdity to end, but he continued to stalk me and my friends on Facebook for the following year before (I hope) he finally gave up.

    Why do guys not take a hint?

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  148. Yew bitchez R totally mean for saying no to the d00ds! You don't say no, and you don't say it enough, and you should just say yes anyway! And you teenage bitches are TOTALLY supposed to stand up to guys in their thirties and forties, and tell grown men how to act. The Cheetos eating basement dwellers need a mercy fuck, dammit!

    /sarcasm

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  149. Anonymous 4:14: You're still missing the meaning, misquoting, and not getting the idea of refining actions as necessary when situations aren't ideal (ie, reality). Brilliant.

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  150. @ Anon 27 may, 7: 40

    I can't dertemine whether you're simply patronizing me or actually trying to be helpful. Please,do clarify your intentions.

    And no, the university that I attend as a post-graduate student isn't retarted. In general I'm quite fond of it and its staff. It just has the occational blind spot that needs to be remedied through the workings of student-politics.

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  151. Well this is an eye-opener. I had no idea so much of this was going on.

    But I do have to admit that once when I was young I did ask out a chashier. At the time I thought it would be "empowering" to do so. But the reality was it was awkward and embarressing to us both. I never tried it again.

    Once a sales women seemed extra friendly and I wondered about it afterwards, but I'm glad I didn't make a fool of myself "assuming" she was "into' me.

    There are so many easier ways to meet *interested* women I don't know why anyone would bother girls at their jobs.

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  152. oh man, getting hit on at work
    you guys have it fucking hard

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  153. Men have it far worse.
    For instance: One time a girl was talking and expected me to pay attention.

    *shudder*

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  154. Oh dear. You've been 4channed. Prepare for some very mysogonistic comments. (I'm not sure how much of this stuff they actually believe, and how much is just trolling...)

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  155. oh no, men find me attractive, it is SO awful, I wish only cute fashionable men with high paying jobs would hit on me

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  156. So I dated this whore, who wanted to suck my dick with her friend. She wanted to make the relationship as follows:

    We could have sex with this friend of her's, as long as we tell the other, we could all three have sex together at the same time.

    Now, for me, this was pretty win. Both were pretty hot and now I was having both sucking my cock whenever I wanted.

    Problem is, she thought her friend would constantly be eating her pussy. After the first time they did it, while I watched, her friend never ate her pussy again. Instead, she spent all her time sucking my dick and fucking me, which led to the girlfriend doing it twice as much, just to try to show her friend up.

    Eventually, my girlfriend got pissed at this other girl, and stopped talking to her. I stopped fucking the girl, and then the bitch I was dating started going on a rant about how I liked her friend's pussy better than her's, and how I was a cheating, lying, chauvinist pig.

    I ended up dumping her ass for being a dumb, annoying whore.

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  157. I've had two who qualify as creepy, honestly. The first was my ex-boyfriend. Him, I'll relate another time, as he deserves his own writeup, and hopefully, his own post.

    The other, let's call K.

    K was someone I'd grown up with. He was a senior my 7th grade year. We used to have debates on the bus to school. (Which usually did devolve into yelling matches, since he was very stubborn and easily offended.) All seemed fine.

    Fast forward about ten years.

    He and I manage to meet up somewhere, and start to catch up on old times. He mentions he's into role-playing, which I am as well. D&D, Rifts, several systems. We end up spending several months hanging out, playing video games, me occasionally sleeping on his couch, and the like.

    It was after I met his friends that things started getting weird. By this point, he'd asked me to go out with him, and I'd told him that it might happen, but not anytime soon. I needed to recover from a recently ended relationship. He was fine with that, or so it seemed. Note that I am an affectionate, huggy person, but I make sure my friends know the limits. And only friends are allowed to touch me.

    He helped me leave my old job at a pharmacy, and get a new one at the hotel where he already worked.

    Then started coming the accusations.

    "Why were you hugging J?" Because he needed one after having a shitty day?

    "Why didn't you answer the phone last night?" Because I was asleep?

    His house, I should mention, was also a mess. The bathroom was pretty moldy, and if you set anything down, the ants would get it quickly. The only time the place was cleaned was when his mother came over and cleaned it. I have lung issues and asthma, so this was not a healthy environment for me.

    When we went to gaming sessions at someone else's house, if I didn't behave or have my character behave exactly as he wanted me to, he would threaten to drive home without me. I don't have a car, nor a lisence, so it wasn't an idle threat. His friends sometimes had to literally back him out of the room until he calmed down.

    Things kept getting worse, but it takes me a while to get tired enough of someone's shit to tell them off. I have Asperger's so that also makes it harder to tell when things are getting out of hand.

    The nice manager at the hotel left for a new job, and a new manager was hired. He treated me like scum and worthless. He even backed me up when K called me a psycho bitch in front of a customer. I was expected to train new employees, despite having been at the job for less than 3 months. And I got in trouble when we made the inevitable newbie mistakes.

    I was originally hired to help troubleshoot the computers there, as well as work at the front desk. After the new manager came, the only thing I troubleshot was showing him how to play pinball on his laptop.

    K continued telling me I was worthless, telling me my ideas for the hotel were horrible (despite the old manager encouraging those ideas), and that I amounted to nothing.

    (cont.)

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  158. A girl kept touching my hips when she was walking behind me.

    She was fucking gross. Apparently a couple of smiley faces to a girl means that you like her.

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  159. Things escalated again after I refused to sleep with K. He accused me of stealing from the till after $150 disappeared. The cameras proved it wasn't me, and the money "mysteriously" reappeared. He claimed I was creeping out his friend, who I'd once mentioned ONCE, in passing, was cute.

    Did I mention that throughout this, he was an ardent "ghost-hunter" and "paranormal investigator?" If I didn't play along, he'd accuse me of "going to hell" and being an "unbeliever." He refused to let me go to more than one of the local parks, because "the devil lives there." He also had his own radio show with another creepy guy, who'd look me over like a piece of meat. Both claimed to know "all the big names" in the paranormal world.

    I had to bullshit him BIG time to avoid getting yelled at and having a bible thumped at me for not believing that "things exist that need to be exorsised." I ended up using bits and pieces of a fantasy novel I was writing at the time as bullshit material to get him off my case.

    Two incidents finally broke the camel's back.

    We went to a local RenFaire at the invitation of a very dear friend of mine, M. We'd taken a tent and sleeping bags, since it was a 3 day event. I went walking the Faire with M, his girlfriend, and her best friend. We invited K, but he whined that he "didn't want to."

    (cont)

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  160. He ended up throwing multiple tantrums, because he expected me to spend time ONLY with him. He had KNOWN that the one issuing the invite was M, and M had GOTTEN us that camping space. He had to get special permission to allow us there.

    The next morning, K kept me out in the hot sun for literally a few *hours* following me around and refusing to let me go anywhere but where he wanted me to go. I had not had the chance to get any sunscreen, and it was a very hot day. I get SUN POISONING. So when he was done, I was EXTREMELY sick and near tears.

    He got escorted off the fairegrounds by police after he was confronted by several of M's friends and made the mistake of threatening one of the wives after he "calmed down." Why did he threaten her? As I said, it was a hot day, he was dehydrated and drinking soda, and she offered him water instead. He's lucky to be alive. You DON'T threaten SCA women, especially when the men are within hearing range.

    I was offered a spare tent, food, and advice, and managed to have a wonderful time. M asked a friend of his, G, to drive me home, which they happily did. G is still a friend of mine.

    This email came soon after.

    "Go to hell and grow up you arrogent psycho. I'm blocking your email and aim and washing my hands of you. As to D's game yes I decided yesterday to run my game still and just bow out of his(that way I don't have to deal with you). If you doubt this statement as I sure you do(after all to liars it seems every one lies) just ask J I told him via aim yesterday as well as trying to call D. Seek help."

    He "forgave" me about a week later and said I could come get my stuff from his apartment. This is when the final straw happened.

    (cont)

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  161. I am a girl here and I the only thing I would find sexual harassment is if a coworker tried to rape you or pull off your clothes at work or in public. Giving out your number or being flirty isn't harassment. Taking a picture of your balls on someone elses phone is hilarious. Learn to take jokes for fuck sakes. Also just because a guy flirts with you doesn't mean he wants to fuck you. Girls are the worst flirts on the planet but if a guy does it she gets all offended unless he is drop dead gorgeous or has over 9000million dollars.

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  162. K was harping on me as I was getting all my stuff from his place. He alternately was apologizing for the Faire, calling the SCA people "bastards," and calling me a bitch.

    My patience with him had ended at the Faire. Note that while I have respect for a person, I do tend to be submissive to them. (At least in verbal spats. Try to hit me and get your ass handed to you.) Verbally kick me while you have my respect, I'll forgive you if there's a reason behind it. Keep kicking, especially if I can't figure out what I *could* have done wrong, and forgiveness gets MUCH harder to obtain.

    By this time, of course, I had NO respect for him, but I needed my things. When I was almost packed up, he got in my face and kept screaming at me. I balled up my fist. I was NOT going to hit him, maybe the couch, but not him. I *DO NOT* strike first unless I have to.

    Well, you'd think I'd threatened him with a gun!

    "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE, YOU FILTHY WHORE! I HAVE NEVER EVER HIT YOU OR ABUSED YOU, HOW DARE YOU THREATEN ME!"

    I pointed out, just as loudly, angrily, and in his face that he HAD been VERBALLY abusing me for MONTHS. That just set him off further. "THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS VERBAL ABUSE! STICKS AND STONES, YOU WORTHLESS BITCH!"

    I called my father to come get me early, grabbed the last of my stuff, and walked out the door, him following and screaming at me all the while. Only when I threatened to call the cops did he go inside and slam the door. "GOOD! I'LL TELL THEM YOU TRIED TO ASSAULT ME!"

    This email came a few days later.

    (cont)

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  163. "A few points I raised my voice to you at work because you got on my case. Yeah I was wrong but given the fact you make a LOT of mistakes
    it was a reasonable conclusion. I've had a really stressful week most of which is directly related to coming in to work every day and having to fix a dozen mistakes or more made by morning shift that shoud never have been made.

    Its past the point of old which is a good part of why I report mistakes to (new manager) now instead of just trying to get people to fix them on there own. I'm not a manager and people don't want to listen to me so fine let them deal with some one with authority.

    As to trying to patch this up I see no reason(btw re emailing I had originaly not intended to email you again, I wanted to make those two points primarily to show that yet again you made UNFAIR attacks on me, the most notable difference would be the fact I put you on my block list I wanted to give you a fair chance to respond so I removed the block and have left it that way).

    I'm tired of this nothing changes we just continue to fight. I'm really sick of the endless accusations of my being controlling and jealous both are untrue and to me seem to do nothing more then inflate your ego(if I'm wrong I'd love to hear how I was being jealous last week as opposed to acting the same way I do every single time you demand I take you home that far ahead of when I worked if you had started from the begininning with the TRUTH I would have been more understanding(no I wouldn't have let M come to my place when I said what I did about the people from the fair I most defenately meant him as well as the (SCA group) some thing I had thought was self evident) but we might have been able to come up with some thing else ie you calling him and pushing the time back a little or meeting
    him some where else both of which occured to me after I decided to just take you home but by then I was to pissed off with your actions to show you any more consideration. Are there other things I deserve some blaime in?

    Absolutely but that night is NOT one of them(did I guilt you?Yes is that any difference between that and you habbit of crying, wailing and begging when you don't get your way? only that you seem to think you're entitled to do what ever you want to get what you want). In terms of work you want to talk about uncalled for that me wanting to fuck you comment was about as innapropriate as you can possibly get.
    You did it to piss me off and embarass me and shouldn't be suprised you pulled it off.

    I'm tired of this and honestly to continue trying seems like a waste of time and effort. You're right many of the things I point out I do myself and vise versa. You do the same things that have driven me nuts since the day we started hanging out and nothing about any of them have improved. That you'd try to use one of the most aggravating of your habbits as a justification for making me get up even earlier was absurd. If you want to respond to this by all means but I don't think I have any more to say. Unless you can show me what use there is I think its better to end things(yes I know you say you care about me and I even believe you believe that but I don't think you act like it)."

    (cont)

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  164. The "crying" he's referring to is from the several times he verbally flayed me so badly he reduced me to tears.

    In the end I got fired from the hotel, in part because K lied and said I cursed out a customer. (Of course, the other women also quickly got fired. About 2 weeks after the new manager took over, we were all gone, in fact.) I had been ready to quit, but that sped things up.

    He ended up working there until the new manager got fired for embezzleing and generally running the hotel into the ground. During his short reign, the hotel even lost its franchise, it was that bad. I got my old job back (K was calling around to other hotels to telling them I was a "shitty worker,") K eventually got fired himself for pulling shit with the new owners.

    He's now unemployed, without a relationship, doing his radio show occasionally, and still bitches me out if he happens to run into me.

    Me? I'm in a happy, loving relationship of a few years. I have a job offer when the economy picks up at a museum, which would be a foot in the door towards my dream job. (I'm a science major.) I have Gryph when I need a friend to hug and vent to. I'm working at getting back into school as soon as I have more savings. Most of all, I have friends.

    More than I can say for K.

    -Cyg

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  165. I'm a female divorce attorney, and get hit on surprisingly frequently by male clients who are eager to have the Future-Ex-Mrs-Them lined up before they've got shot of the last one. That's never a good time to start a relationship, even if dating my client's wasn't completely unethical. (Protip: it is.) Like the perma-virgin anon guys who are posting here suggest, I always begin by saying, politely, "No thank you. I'm not interested." Usually, that works.

    One client, though, wouldn't take the hint. It started with him using endearments in all the correspondence. I asked him to stop; he didn't. When he came in for hearing prep, he asked me to 'hold his hands' to calm him down. I told him absolutely not, and again asked him to stop. I also made very clear that I was in a long-term relationship with the other attorney in the firm.

    Finally, he started in with the neck-rub thing. I pulled an Angela Merkel and violently shrugged him off. Then, the other half and I wrote him a letter in which we pointed out that he'd already spent tens of thousands of dollars with us on the two divorces we'd handled for him, and nobody knew his cases better. He had a hearing coming up fairly soon that I was prepared for, but if he didn't stop his behavior immediately, I'd withdraw as his attorney and he'd have to put down another substantial retainer to get a new attorney somewhere else.

    He stopped, I kicked ass at the hearing and won him everything he wanted and more, and haven't heard from him since.

    However, the day before the hearing, he called me to finalize some details. Since this was divorce number three for him, I mentioned that in the future, a prenuptial agreement would simplify matters. He violently protested that he would never marry again. Ever. I then pointed out that I had caller ID and he was calling me from a matchmaking service that promised they'd have you hitched in a year. Some people never learn.

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  166. wth is wrong with you bitches? im 32 and 18-22 year old chicks are all over me

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  167. Oy. Ignore the fucktarded trolls, y'all. They'll go away if they don't get a response.

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  168. I had a girlfriend who would throw her drink in another bitches' face at the club if the girl hit on me or asked me to dance. If a female friend started to talk to me, she'd come up and grab my harm and hold it between her breasts, plastering her body to mine the while time, if I opened the door for another girl, she'd flip out and rant about how I wanted to fuck the other girl.

    In typical female hypocrisy, she would flirt with the gas station attendant, waiters at restaurants while I was paying, brush against other guy's on the dance floor at clubs, and had dozens of male friends she flirted with to get her "gifts".

    It came as no suprise when the silly bitch was caught fucking her professor from the college I was paying for her to go to.

    The solution?

    Her mother thought I was cute, her sister hated her, both didn't mind a threesome.

    Afterwards, I told her about it, kicked her out of my house, dumped her, cut off paying for her college, and continued to rail her mother and sister for the next year, until they "felt guilty" and stopped.

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  169. Creepy old guys never bothered me. I thought it was kind of cute actually. I always got a kick out of guys who think routine customer service is a come on. Really, nothing wrong with it other than being annoying as hell. Men can be clueless, I don't see why you're getting your panties in a twist. They don't start being creepy until there's a need for a restraining order.

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  170. My buddy, we'll call him rick, used to work at burger king. He had this 17 year old girl working for him, whom he caught stealing from the register. Rick was a smart guy, but not too much common sense. He called her into the office, which has cameras, and told the girl and told her, he's not pressing charges, but he's going to have to let her go.

    The girl got a scared look on her face and started to beg him to not make him undress. Rick got really confused, and said "what?". She stripped down, yanked down rick's pants, and sucked his cock in the office, the whole time putting on the act that he was forcing her.

    Rick didn't want his dick bit off, as she threatened to do so if he tried to move, so he let her finish, then left the office. Once out of sight of the cameras, the little bitch confronted rick and told him that she wanted to be promoted to assistant manager, or she'd complain to corporate about him blackmailing her, and tell the cops that he forced her, an underage girl, to give rick, a 28 year old guy in college, a blowjob.

    Rick ended up quitting the job not too long after, and dropped out of college.

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  171. Women can be far worse. The problem is either men feel like faggots for reporting it or they're laughed out of their superiors office. A coworker of mine at a hospital had a crush on a doctor so she'd flirt. and call the office. and his home. and tell his wife they were fucking. Real fatal attraction shit. The restraining order didn't work. It finally took her taking a baseball bat to his knees to get someone to listen.

    Women expect a reaction from men. When they don't get one they go nuts.

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  172. I knew a chick, we'll say her name is Eva for this purpose (and because it was). Eva wanted this guy at her work, but this dude had a girlfriend. He constantly turned her down for drinks after work, rejected her advances for sex, and deleted her e-mails, sent through the company network, asking him to meet her for a quicky in the washroom.

    Now, Eva had gotten a bit frustrated, so she decided she had the ultimate way to break up this guy and his girl, and remove his excuse of "I have a girlfriend, and I wouldn't date a co-worker, anyway". That solution?

    The guy was in the men's room one day taking a piss, Eva came in behind him and started giving him a reach around, stroking his cock. She had given this guy who had a crush on her a blowjob, so that he would walk into the bathroom. Perfectly scripted and on cue, the guy walked in just as the other guy was pushing Eva against a wall, pinning her hands and yelling at her, with his cock out.

    This guy then reported to his boss, and the police, that the guy Eva was after had her pinned against the bathroom wall, with his cock out, and was attempting to rape her.

    The guy's girlfriend left him, the judge refused to grant him any custody or visitation rights for his son, he lost his job, was hit with a lawsuit that forced him to sell his house and car, and was registered as a sex offender.

    Eva never got to date the guy, but did succeed in ruining his life.

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  173. Ah, frustrating, to many anon trolls to give them harry potter nicknames....

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  174. Someone upthread mentioned Cheetos. That just summons the basement dwelling prema-virgins.

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  175. I think you mean PERMA-virgins, hellkell. As in PERMANENTLY.

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  176. My Ex-girlfriend, Apryl (She named-changed it to a Y because it was "more punk rock that way") had this guy at work that she claimed to me had forced her to give him a blow job.

    She claimed that he told her to do it, or she'd lose the job. Now, this was before we were dating, otherwise I would have smacked the stupid bitch and said "quit the job then, it's only subway." But, a fine example of how much bullshit women are capiable of.

    A few months into the relationship, she calls me up and tells me that this guy "orally raped her". Confused, I say what? The story she told me is as follows.

    He came to her door, and she said she didn't want to talk to him, and hated him, like she told me many times. He said he just wanted to come in and talk and apologize, and she claimed if she closed the door on him he wouldn't leave, and if she called the cops, they wouldn't arrest him, because they've refused to do it before. She let him in and was sitting on the floor with her back against the couch. She claimed he was across the room talking to her and being an asshole and she told him to leave. She claimed he refused and walked over to her, unzipping his pants and smacking her face with his cock.

    She then went on to claim that she kept telling him to leave and he slid his cock into her mouth while she was talking and proceeded to fuck her mouth, then telling her to suck. She claimed that she sucked his dick, because calling the cops would do nothing, and she just wanted to make him cum so he'd leave. She apparently had time between doing this to tell him to hurry up and cum already.

    After about an hour of this, supposedly, he left without having cum, because of her telling him to hurry up and cum because she was bored.

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  177. Hopefully the condition will be permanent. The though of them spawning is frightening.

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  178. What's wrong, anonymice, Penthouse not accepting your submissions any more and you just happened to find PLFM?

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  179. I once asked a female coworker out. She complained and said I was harassing her.

    I guess the real issue was that I wasn't a six-pack ab having douche with a convertible camero as this was who she was fucking in the store room while on the clock.

    She was fired and he was not. This is mainly because she shot the manager down too. She gave the guy herpes.

    tl;dr The amount of indignation suffered by women receiving sexual advances at work is inversely proportional to the hottness of the guy giving the advances.

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  180. Hellkell, they like it because they can use potty mouth words on PLFM. Oooh, I can say FUCK! I can say shit, cunt, cock, bitch!!!! Wheeee!!!!

    However, their mommie would be shocked and horrified if she came into little Snookum's room and saw what they were writing on the computer that mommie bought them for their birthday. Shame on Snookums! Mommie brought you up better than that!

    So, whether they're 15 y/o or 35 y/o, they're still living in Mommie's house because being a Wal*Mart stocker doesn't give them enough money to actually move away from home. Besides, who would do their laundry and feed them if they were, y'know, forced to grow up and take care of themselves like adults. Totally harsh!

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  181. I couldn't agree more with the use of THE LOOK! It definitely works.

    I also think you can't beat talking about cat rescue for ridding yourself of this kind of guy, especially if you're in a situation like work where you have to be polite.

    Guy: So what do you like to do for fun?

    Me: Oh, I'm heavily involved in cat rescue! I usually have about twenty foster cats at any given time. It's a lot of work because they usually come out of the shelter sick and you have to treat them for diarrhea and spend a lot of time cleaning up after them, but it's so worth it!

    You can drag out cat rescue as a response to lines about keeping warm at night (no problem! Surrounded by kitties!), what you're doing this weekend (going to adoption events! That's what I do every weekend!), what you're doing on your day off (oh, I have to take six bottle baby kittens to the vet, they've got coccidia and are spewing poo everywhere). THIS NEVER FAILS. I have never once not been able to run a man off by talking about cat rescue, no matter how drunk he was. It is a guy's worst nightmare!

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  182. sadly my story is about a dude, not a chick. I used to work at the Geek Squad laptop repair facility in Shepherdsville, KY. They had this kid that worked there that was... how would /b/ pu it... retarded? No, I don't mean he was just stupid, he was actually something of a savant, but his brain was literally not functioning properly. So anyway, he would frequently jerk himself off at work right out there at the QA desk where he worked. One day he actually took his dick out of his pants and started fapping and some chick saw him and got offended or whatever so he got fired.

    Here's the crazy part. Somehow he got hired back. That is until, yup, you guessed it! He got caught fapping again! His name was Brian.

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  183. Fugly, that is sheer gold! Baahaahaa!

    Another sure way to run a man off is to look him squarely in the eye and ask, "Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour? If you haven't, let's talk about it!"

    That's guaranteed to run them off, unless they're some sort of Jesus freak. If they are, then the cat rescue story should come out.

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  184. heh, so guys posting psycotic comments on plfm. Am I the only one who thinks that's sorta poetic?

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  185. YEAH, LYING IS THE BEST WAY TO HANDLE YOUR PROBLEMS!

    Until you meet a guy who actually loves cats and takes care of sick cats himself, then you have to come up with a new lie.

    Fuck.

    Oh well, we're female, we can make them so easily anyway, lol.

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  186. >>The amount of indignation suffered by women receiving sexual advances at work is inversely proportional to the hottness of the guy giving the advances.<<

    Not exactly but it has to do with whether the woman is actually interested. A woman who is interested will follow YOU around at work, make excuses to stop by your desk/office, sit next to you in meetings, start dressing hotter than she needs to for work and paying more attention to her hair and makeup, etc.

    If she's not doing this stuff, she's not interested. She's not shy or quiet or worried about her job or any other rationalization. She's not interested, period.

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  187. Oh, man bashing, how fashionable

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  188. >>Until you meet a guy who actually loves cats and takes care of sick cats himself, then you have to come up with a new lie.
    <<

    Did you meet one like that? I can count the number of straight, unattached men I have encountered in any kind of animal rescue on one hand without running out of fingers.

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  189. The look, cat rescue and jesus christ, check!

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  190. holy shit these stories are hot, I'm fapping. Thanks ladies, keep it coming, like me HAHAHAHA

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  191. hellkell: yes, because men always enjoy sex, and there's no way a man could be sexually harassed by a women. And because all men find the idea of losing their job, their family, their house and car, and being forced to register as a sex offender for life so hot.

    Personally, I'm always slightly scared of this happening to me one day. I'm male, which means that no-one will believe me, because everyone knows that all men are sex-obsessed and can't turn it down and all women are delicate flowers who'd never sexually harass a man. (Even feminists!) It's bullshit, of course.

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  192. The Look, The Cats, and The Christ: How Dissuade Losers in Three Easy Steps.

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  193. how to...I cannot type today. Oh well.

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  194. "Did you meet one like that? I can count the number of straight, unattached men I have encountered in any kind of animal rescue on one hand without running out of fingers.""

    that's an awfully sexist comment to make.. I thought women wanted sexual equality, not sexual superiority?

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  195. ""The Look, The Cats, and The Christ: How Dissuade Losers in Three Easy Steps.""

    Cheating, Lying, And Boozing: How to get rid of annoying bitches in three easy AND FUN steps.

    As always, guys doing the job better.

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  196. fuck everyone in here that complains about harassment. I pray for the day that someone on high tries to harass me. I'd be getting paid so fast it would be cash.

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  197. I gotta giggle at all these cunts that thing that they're the proud possessor of the Precious Pussy, and must struggle valiantly to guard the Golden Fleece. In about 15 years, all that male attention will vanish, and then they'll be moaning about that.

    It's a short ride, kids, enjoy it while it lasts. Those years go by faster than you think.

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