Saturday, May 2, 2009

He Just Doesn't Get It

A monkey trapped in a desolate cage marvels at the sight of a shiny metallic ball placed just outside his reach.

"If I only had that ball," the monkey convinces himself, "my life would improve tremendously."

Place the ball within reach, and the monkey instantly grabs and cherishes that ball. It's new, it's shiny, and it's something different, a means to temporarily escape from the horrifying monotony of his life.

Within a couple days however, the monkey will usually discover that the ball doesn't look so fucking shiny anymore. He's run out of new ball-related distractions, and the sparkling surface has dulled from constant contact with his hands.

Now he's just a monkey trapped in a desolate cage with a stupid cloudy-ass ball.

As humans, we all experience a sense of loneliness and isolation at some point in our lives. In recent years, the internet has become our go-to method to relieve these feelings of isolation, a source for us to find our own shiny little ball.

And like the monkey, we often learn just how quickly our balls can tarnish.

Pun completely intended.

Annie's recent letter to PLFM started out like so many of the contributions I receive here at WWHM Headquarters.

"Oh, this story is so embarrassing to tell, but I was ... well, ... I was reallllly really lonely."

Annie, trying to meet new people on the internet does not make you lonely, it makes you human. Having a 10-year subscription to Cat Fancy magazine? Well, yes, that kind of makes you a lonely person.

And if you're using the internet to meet cats, then you have a serious fucking problem.

Anyway, Annie had been visiting an online forum for some time when she met a nice man named Robert.

Robert seemed to have everything she wanted in a man. He was nice, considerate and charming, and didn't spend the majority of his time online wagging his genitals to and fro like an unattended fire hose.

Annie admits she became smitten with Robert immediately. A few late night chat sessions soon morphed into something of a relationship. They chatted daily, and exchanged phone numbers so they could text each other when they were away from their computers.

After a month their relationship reached the point where they knew someone had to take the next step, but they lived halfway across the country from one another. And of course, Robert stepped up to the plate.

Annie was excited to play with her shiny new ball.

Robert made the long drive to spend five days with Annie, and Annie had a fabulous time. They walked in the park, went out to dinner, and probably visited the please-touch aquarium exhibit. Hands were held, asses were slapped, and non fruit-based juices were exchanged.

Yes, everything was just fine and fucking dandy with Annie and Robert.

Robert returned home and the online relationship continued. Robert, however, began talking about getting married, having kids, and buying a house together, which Annie thought was a little odd after only meeting each other once. It had been a great 30 days, but marriage? Kids? Mortgage? It almost sounded like Robert loved Annie, but come on, that's preposterous.

"I love you Annie," beamed Robert.

Okay, maybe not so preposterous.

A few days later Robert purchased Annie a plane ticket to come visit him for five days, and once again they had a good time together, minus the part where Robert kept bringing up all his "crazy" ex-girlfriends. At the end of the trip, Robert proposed that they become an "item" and agree to see each other exclusively.

Annie was a little puzzled as they lived halfway across the country from one another, and she really didn't believe in long-distance relationships. She reluctantly agreed because she liked him, and Robert was elated.

In fact, Robert was so elated, he immediately did what any guy would do in that situation. He logged onto Annie's Facebook page and began sending her friends unsolicited messages, such as: "Thanks for being such a good friend to Annie."

Creepy? Maybe.

Intrusive? Definitely.

Ball? Not so fucking shiny anymore, folks.

The tone of his Facebook messages wasn't at all friendly. He wasn't actually thanking her friends for being nice, it was more of a "Hey thanks, but you're really not needed anymore" kind of thank you.

Robert soon turned passive-aggressive and controlling. His cute little texts turned into interrogation sessions. Who was Annie with and why? What was she doing?

He demanded to meet her parents, and harassed her friends online. No matter how much he could find out about Annie, it was never quite enough.

So he bought another plane ticket to come see Annie.

A one-way ticket. Yay!

They had to "go look at rings" and "plan his move to her hometown" he said.

Soon after Robert arrived, Robert's juvenile antics started driving Annie crazy. She writes "I began to see Robert as clingy, controlling, needy, and honestly ... a pussy."

Vaginas everywhere were offended.

Annie quickly prepared for "the talk." Couch pillows were fluffed as lines were rehearsed, and Annie called Robert into the living room to inform him that he was no longer welcome at her home, and would have to leave first thing in the morning.

Robert reacted by vomiting on her couch, which pretty much negated the purpose of her earlier pillow-fluffing.

Fresh out of vomit, Robert began to cry, and continued crying throughout the entire night. Sobbing, actually. Annie couldn't believe what she saw. "His reaction to the end of a relationship that had been at the most two months long and mostly phone-based made me tell him to nut the fuck up and get over it," Annie says.

Robert left in the morning after insisting she keep his Army dog tags as a symbol of his undying love for her.

Fresh out of Kleenex, steam-cleaning coupons, and boyfriends, Annie decided to try another go-around with her ex-boyfriend Mike, whom she loved deeply. Mike and Annie began their relationship anew, but this time around they had a new, unexpected problem.

Robert.

In his first week back home, Robert sent Annie 65 emails, 317 text messages, 52 phone calls, and even contemplated FedEx-ing Annie some fresh vomit. At first Annie tried playing the nice card, explaining she had reunited with Mike and was no longer interested in having any contact with Robert.

"That's ok," Robert said, "I'll fight for you."

He didn't get it, obviously.

The texts started increasing in frequency, blowing up her cell phone 24 hours a day. Her boyfriend Mike composed an email for Robert, telling him in no uncertain terms that he was entering dangerous territory and needed to stop all communications. To which he responded with more texts professing his undying love for Annie.

In between bouts of abusing his T-Mobile "Friends and Family" texting privileges, Robert began posting rambling essays about his love for Annie on the internet forum where they met, letting everyone know Annie was just "confused about her love life," and soon would figure it all out. But in the meantime, Robert was still planning his big move to Annie's hometown, where he would be welcomed by a huge parade.

A huge parade of lawyers and police officers that is, organized by Annie herself.

Annie and Mike's relationship was blossoming, and Robert was really getting angry now, as somewhat evidenced by the following text:

Robert: "I'm really getting angry now."

But Robert still planned to move, so Annie consulted her lawyers, who instructed Annie to block all communications from Robert and refuse all his texts and phone calls. If that didn't work, it was time for a restraining order.

She did, but Robert's incessant and threatening texts only increased to the point where Annie decided to finally answer one of his phone calls.

She told Robert he was a complete fucking psychopath, and needed to immediately cease all communications with her or a restraining order would be filed immediately at the court house. She made it very clear to him:

"Leave me the fuck alone."

Now, longtime PLFM readers pretty much know by now what happens when you threaten a stalker with a restraining order.

They write you another letter to tell you how they feel about you, of course.

And that is exactly what Robert did.

Let's see if Robert finally got the message, shall we?

(Hint: No.)

My dearest Annie,

So I realized that I couldn't just keep lobbing things over the fence wondering where they were landing - or if they were even noticed. I had to tell you directly how I feel and give you a chance to respond.

Right or wrong, the simple fact is that I'm still very much in love with you. And much as I don't want to feel frightened about the future right now, it doesn't change how I feel about YOU... realistically, I don't want it to change. Having gone through all the expected emotions regarding this entire situation - fear, sadness, grief, anger, acceptance - I'm still left with one emotion that won't let go: love. I adore you, and you know it.

This has never happened to me. If this was a normal situation, I would have gotten pissed, called you names out loud and in my head, let that consume the love I have for you and simply gotten on with it. But this is anything but a normal situation.

I see that the two of us are very much in tune with each other. You said I understand you. It's true, I really do. And the events of the past few weeks notwithstanding, there isn't a fiber in my being that doesn't feel as though you're the girl I always wanted. Like I said before, it's that good. I love everything about you, hon, and there ain't much that's gonna change that.

I know what you're trying to do. I applaud your efforts. I don't think it'll work. You've read my thoughts on the situation. But I think there's a part of you that wants all the things we talked about so many times, wants the good things that we developed together, things that I very much want. And put quite simply, I want those things - with you.

So trust me when I say that I will 100% be be your guy when you're ready. We packed a year's worth of relationship stuff into a very short period of time and I'll be damned if I don't think that's something worth waiting - and, if necessary - fighting for. I miss you. I miss making love to you.

All I can offer you is more - much more - of the same things you expressed so much appreciation for when were friends, when we were lovers... when you could love me openly. That offer still stands, baby. I want you back.

Now I know that the idea of me moving to (city) really threw you for a loop, but there's a lot more to it than I had a chance to explain. I've long wanted to shoot for a position with (company in city).

You don't have to push me away to get the space you need to work on the things you need to work on, nor should it be necessary for you to push me away because Mike can't handle it. If I can deal with Mike, Mike should be able to deal with me.

Did I mention that I love you? :) Have I ever failed to mention that? Nope. Never will.

You are NEVER not on my mind.

Robert

You know, something tells me Robert just doesn't get the big picture here.

And as you can see, stalkers just really don't see anything wrong with what they're doing.

Annie wants us to know she is still dealing with Robert, who still texts her on occasion, and writes about how much he wants to hate Annie on his fantastic blog. "But he just can't," he says, "because he loves her so much.

Hey Robert?

Get a fucking life.

PLFM will keep you updated if we hear more from Annie.

97 comments:

  1. Oh robert, cant you see that if you told her you loved her just one more time, she would see the error of her ways and come running back?

    Though his lack of violence and evil make him seem like one of the better specimines around here.

    Good to have you back, weas!

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  2. Woah, that's some serious blinkers that Robert is wearing there.

    At least he hasn't threatened to kill her yet.

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  3. Ahaha! Using the internet to meet cats! Why didn't I think of that? Heheheh.

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  4. Hello SeriousCat, nice to meet you... on the internet.

    Yeah, it's only a matter of time before the suicide and/or death threats ensue.

    But first he has to start getting frustrated and declare that Mike isn't allowing her to do what she really wants, deserves, and needs.

    Then he'll decide he has to take drastic measures for her sake to shake things up until she realizes the true path.

    Good luck, Annie.

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  5. Well, clearly if he uses a smiley :) in his letter, he's a GOOD GUY, Annie. How could that not convince you to give him another chance?

    Yeah... not so much.

    At least this letter was easier on the eyes and brain to read than most we've seen around here.

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  6. Something tells me this is not the first time Robert has behaved like this. I'm pretty sure it wasn't his ex-girlfriends who were "crazy."

    @Anon 7:54: His psychosis was a lot easier to read than most. Too bad he's just as clue-resistant.


    http://petfail.blogspot.com

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  7. what happened with Mike!

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  8. hey, link ue to roberts blog, PLEASE!!!

    Give us a laugh!!! :-)

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  9. "I know what you're trying to do. I applaud your efforts. I don't think it'll work. You've read my thoughts on the situation. But I think there's a part of you that wants all the things we talked about so many times, wants the good things that we developed together, things that I very much want. And put quite simply, I want those things - with you."

    The really creepy things about stalkers - well, besides the actual act of stalking and messing with your life - is that they are 9000% convinced that THEY know what's best for someone else's life.

    Also, such people are often drawn to the internets. The only normal relationships I've seen that originated online are a) a couple who "met" in a highly specialized chatroom and b) a few couples who met via eHarmony (Yeah, I know.. that Chrstian thing.... but they do a fantastic job of matching compatible people, with all those questions).

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  10. Wow. That's just...sad. I've had a similar situation though. It's just crazy how some people assume that because they're unhealthily obsessed with you, it's going to magically turn you back onto them. Note to all psychopaths: obsessive behavior ain't sexy. And ain't much gonna change that. ;)

    Megan @ adventuresofacarnivore.com

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  11. Hey! Annie here! Love the write-up, Weasel!


    (Also, to the anonymous poster asking about Mike... tings couldn't be better.)

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  12. Any bets on how long it takes before Robbie-boy threatens to kill himself - or worse, Annie or Mike?

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  13. This is the time when arming with the ClueBat is highly recommended, and even possibly enjoyed...

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  14. Good on you, Mike, for not letting the zen master of denial get between you and your girl. It happens far too often! Annie, if it's legal, get yourself some peberspray. I sincerly hope you won't need it, but if he ever confronts you, I highly recommend an immediate offensive reaction. And Robert: Get some serious industry strength therapy! You clearly aren't fit to date anyone. When she says she's not interested, she's not interested. It's that simple!

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  15. Wow. I think that this is the first "letter" in which the crazed writer actually uses proper spelling, grammar and punctuation. *frowns* Men like that, at least in my experience (excepting our brilliant blogmaster, of course), are rare. So why does this one have to be a complete nutter? That's just not fair!

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  16. Oh dear... I'm heading out on a blind date tonight LOL

    Hopefully I don't end up featured here :)

    36 & Single

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  17. Uh oh.. good luck SweetPea.

    Poor Robert, so misunderstood. *eyes rolling*

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  18. HA! I'm "Mike". It's funny (now) to read about this whole mess and see some feedback from outsiders.

    I almost felt sorry for this guy when "Annie" told me about the whole vomit thing...almost. Things are going well here and he's out of the picture for now. We'll see what happens if/when he moves to town. If he shows up at my place, he's gonna look funny when he leaves.

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  19. annie should change her number.
    hey weasel, your style of writing makes me laugh,
    some fun times on this blog

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  20. I really really really hope you are joking about him Fed-ex-ing vomit...

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  21. I also hope that Fed-ex-ing vomit was a joke.

    Mike,
    Get a restraining order so if he shows up you can call the police.

    Please, please don't engage this guy, not even verbally. You know that he has "problems" so you don't know how he's going to react or if he's armed. If he shows go inside, don't talk to him, lock the door and call the police. It's really import to get the authorities involved asp.

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  22. Robert...prove your love for Annie by finding the highest fucking bridge over water possible, then jump off it. Insanity is hereditary. Please exit the gene pool in an orderly and efficient manner.

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  23. So sad. Not sad as in "poor guy", but sad as in "well, there goes the neighborhood".

    He's gonna drive past your house real slow at least once a day.

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  24. I also would like a link to Robert's profile.

    I could use some laughs.

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  25. Lyn S:

    Ha ha ha. So true! You know what "Mike" and "Annie" need to be doing in the front yard then. Right on drive-by time.... smooch!

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  26. Weasel, I wanna hug you for your fantastically amusing writing style. I love it.

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  27. Wow...someone set sail on the failboat.

    That's why I'm skiddish around people I meet online....cause it only takes one bat-shit crazy fuckhead to ruin it for everyone....*lulz*

    Glad that Mike and Annie are doing well. Let's hope that Robert goes and plays a nice game of "let's drink what's under the sink".

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  28. @Annie&Mike--I'm glad things are going well with you and I hope that nutcase stays out of the picture. Guys like that are enough to make me want to swear off dating entirely.

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  29. "stalkers just really don't see anything wrong with what they're doing"

    And that absolutely hits the nail on the head. They think they're being oh-so-romantic, fighting for the one they love, etc. etc. ad nauseum. I blame romantic comedies! My ex used to send me endless letters/emails/rambling voicemails all about how he was just waiting for me to come around, he knew I'd want him back, he wasn't going to give up that easily, etc. Wish I'd kept some so I could send them in here but I got into the habit of just deleting/binning them. Luckily, I haven't actually heard anything from him since I got the police involved - I think that must have shocked him because he genuinely didn't think he was doing anything wrong, even started crying when I accused him of being a stalker.

    Annie and Mike - really glad things are going well for the two of you, don't let this asshole spoil it. Also agree with bhm, above - if he shows up, calls, emails, anything, don't engage with him. All he wants is a reaction. Just call the police, immediately, and let them handle it. It's the only way he'll get the message.

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  30. @ Anonymous from 3 May 2009 at 3:20 AM

    I've been ranting just that thing for a while now. >_< It's like those romantic comedies make a virtue out of being a twat. I don't care for it at all. Grrr. Thank you for saying what I was thinking, but probably better than I could.

    Weasel: Thanks for the hilarious commentary. Love it!

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  31. I've been ranting just that thing for a while now. >_< It's like those romantic comedies make a virtue out of being a twat.
    ----
    Oh, so true. Also, the media is awful when it comes to defining relationships. The one I can't stand is the Alpha male correcting his love interest through verbal abuse. After being told off she immediately falls in love with him. At least they stopped slapping women across the face on TV.

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  32. Romantic comedy has nothing to do with Robert's problem. Robert is acting this way because he's delusional. If he doesn't use one ideology to justify his actions then he'll use another.

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  33. @Hyena: Why a bridge over water? i was thikning more a bridge over sharp rocks : )

    And ladies, since it's obviously such a smart idea to date guys from the internet, who wants to go out!? haha

    -Xes

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  34. Yes weasel my vagina was very insulted when being compared to Roberts actions!! lol I couldn't believe that Robert barfed on the couch when she said she was done with him and then "offered" to ship some to her...what a way to a gals heart!! Here hon I just barfed on the couch cause I'm such a pansy-ass and I know how much you really liked cleaning it up, so I'm going to ship you some so you can do it again!! I just don't see how ANYONE couldn't think that was just the most romantic thing ever!! Robert is past getting hit with the clue bat he needs to just be ran over by the whole damn bus!!
    I'm really glad that Mike and Annie are doing well and I really hope that Stalker boy Robert doesn't decide to move, but that will probably mean that some other poor soul is now having to deal with his dumbass and going through hell because they to thought he was a "nice" guy.

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  35. Anon...okay sharp rocks too, just in case.

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  36. For some reason that "baby" in his letter made my skin crawl.

    Actually, so did the "making love".


    Actually, so did the whole thing.

    Mailing vomit nao...

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  37. Thanks. Everyone. This blog makes my day, but the comments are just as good. "Making love" kinda made my skin crawl too...& I agree with the romantic comedy crap. Sends the wrong messages to the wrong creeps.

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  38. "Mailing Vomit" sounds like a good name for a new band.

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  39. "They think they're being oh-so-romantic, fighting for the one they love, etc. etc. ad nauseum. I blame romantic comedies! "

    Yeah, I hated "Reality Bites." I SO wouldn't have gone back to Ethan Hawke after he so publicly humiliated me from the stage. Also he had NO job, NO prospects, and NO sense of humor.

    Ben Stiller was a MUCH cooler BF.

    I think those kinds of movies enable those delusional stalker guys.

    Like toddler beauty pageants enable child sexual predators.

    Don't EVEN get me started on Disney.

    *shudder*

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  40. OK...I'll have to add to make a correction here.

    Not always does an internet created relationship go wrong. However, I must say it was 1994 and only universities and the military were online, and we were working on one of the first longer written works in mosaic for online (including pictures). The relationship didn't develop until we met in person on holidays.

    Well, in any case, we've been married since about that time (a short while after) and are still happily sitting next to each other on computers in the same room, but also enjoy a very active, friendly and somewhat crazy life away from computers.

    It can work out.

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  41. Oh noes, not Disney!!!

    I like Disney animation. Their live action movies, not so much.

    I always thought old Walt had a hatred of mothers. Notice how Disney always kills 'em off? Even Goofy's son Max never talks about his mom. Wonder what happened to her?

    I have to agree that romantic comedies always seem to reward the guy who stalks the woman until she finally realizes what a GREAT guy he is. In real life, that rarely happens.

    I think it'd be creepy to the nth power if some freak that I'd told to get lost left flowers and notes on my vehicle. Ewwwwww!!!!

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  42. Attack of the Amazons! Let's all be Amazons, Bowazons, Spearazons, Lightning Trapsins, Vipe Claw Assisins, it's time women kicked butt!

    (Can't tell I play D2, can you?:)

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  43. Someone needs to make a movie about how stalking is DUMB, CREEEPY, and makes you look like a TOTAL AND COMPLETE ASSHOLE.

    Pixar is MUCH cooler than the other Disney stuff.

    My daughter is obsessed with Cars & Monsters Inc.

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  44. Anon 11:26, there actually is a band called Vomit Candy, and also UltraVomit. Maybe our dear friend Robert needs to hook up with them if he's that talented.

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  45. I like the Pixar stuff, too. I'm such a little kid when it comes to good animation and a decent story.

    Yeah, where are the crazy stalker MAN movies? Most of the crazy ass stalker movies have been about women; Fatal Attraction, The Hand That Rocks The Cradle, Obsession, The Secretary, etc.

    I love John Cusack, but I blame him for STARTING the stalker/obsessed guy who won't give up persona. Not really his fault because he was only playing a movie role, but c'mon, HE'S cute whereas most stalkers are just plain creepy.

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  46. @Mack Truck: HA! I was just going to say that Lloyd Dobbler (or Cameron Crowe, rather) has a LOT to answer for!

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  47. lol on Disney's hatred of moms..! Never thought of that..!

    and eeew eew eew on Robert for: "making love"... using the word "lovers".. just eew.

    Annie: I don't know HOW in the world you let that kid spend the night that last time.. i would not have slept a wink. Or, I wouldn't have said anything until 5 minutes before I wanted him to leave. I'm so glad nothing bad happened! (besides ruined couch) But I really do believe it's just a matter of time before death threats (his, yours, mike's) start coming.. :(

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  48. The funny thing is, I never thought that John Cusack in Say Anything was a scary stalker dude - I thought he was helping a shy girl break out of her shell...

    :P

    What did I know???


    I listened to an interview with a woman who had to literally go into hiding when her very rich and very obsessed asshole ex decided to put a lot of energy into making her life shitty.

    Why are so many guys willing to look like intolerable assholes?? And think they're somehow more attractive??

    My favorite anti-pot for teens commercial (though I'm not anti-pot for grownups) features teens proudly declaring all the STUPIDASS things they've done while high.

    "I texted my ex girlfriend 137 times!"

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  49. oops
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d3NVWJcQ0So
    I misquoted

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  50. Good writing style, these are funny, shocking, and sad commentary all at the same time!

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  51. Guy stalker movie: One Hour Photo with Robin Williams.

    Also, I had an internet relationship that worked out just fine for six years. We met on a Zelda message board in 1998. We broke up 'cause we grew up into different people.

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  52. mr. mrs. fangfaceMay 4, 2009 at 4:48 PM

    I did. The quality of others is irrelevant because they pale in comparison that is the awesome of mr. mrs. fangface. ;D

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  53. Reminds me of a guy my friend met through e-Harmony. Seemed really funny and down-to-earth and they got along great. She agreed to "go exclusive" after 6 dates and it was ALL DOWNHILL from there. There were MANY things, but notably he kept telling her how he hadn't dated anyone in 7 years because every girl he met turned out to be crazy. After a particularly stunning fight in which he tried to convince her that it was winter in Australia, (it was Decemeber. His reasoning? "If it's summer there, what do they do about CHRISTMAS, silly girl?") she broke it off. He demanded to come over to her place because he wasn't going to believe it unless she looked him in the eye. He begged, pleaded, demanded explanations, etc. Then he sent her an epically awesome e-mail that started off by saying what a modest guy he was, then went on for 3 pages about how great he was and what a catch he was. He contacted her friends on FB, left crazy FB messages/status updates, it was wild. He eventually faded away, thankfully, before threatening suicide.

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  54. Psychos do HOURLY what we wish the guys WE liked would do once a year......

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  55. I want a shiny round ball so badly now!!

    Hey, there are a ton of psyco guys/gals out there... can't we please get more than one a month? I'll start by begging for a weekly dose! Please. Pretty please? But I love you. Heh heh.

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  56. As I am currently teaching a class on sexual assault and thus the issues are fresh in my mind:

    It's probably not just romantic comedies modeling bad behaviour for men (though I agree that sort of thing doesn't help).

    But men are also socialized in North America to be aggressive and competitive...so that would certainly play into 'stalking behaviour'. Robert (and others) probably think that aggressively pursuing women (through constantly bombarding them with texts, phonecalls, etc.) is going to get them to give in, and/or that competing with existing BFs is OK.

    I'd guess in this case that Robert's Mommy and Daddy never took him aside and explained that aggressiveness and competitiveness isn't the best strategy in romantic relationships.

    It's the same aggressive thinking that leads many men to conclude in sexual situations that "No" actually means "Yes" (or perhaps "No, but I'll give in if you push me").

    Sad.

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  57. Hey Bonnie, better be prepared to whip out a study to back that socialization argument up!

    If you all have the Sundance channel and want to see a mindblowing documentary, check out "Crazy Love," the story of Burton Puglasch and Linda Riss. He is the PLFM poster boy.

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  58. >Hey Bonnie, better be prepared to whip out a >study to back that socialization argument up!

    *snort* I've got a few referred to in my textbook that I can whip out if 'Luis' happens by...though I expect it wouldn't matter. If you (generic you) are looking for cause and effect, you're looking in the wrong place. Any time gender is involved, the most we can do is 'quasi-experimental' designs (since we can't 'assign' who turns into a girl or a boy)...so anyone who complains that the research is 'not randomized or well-controlled' either doesn't understand the reality of social research, or doesn't WANT to (and is just creating a straw man).

    /end teacher moment

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  59. @mr.mrs.fangface

    The quality of others is always pertinent and useful information with regard to the pursuit and accumulation of Internets and all associated lulz. There are no exceptions.

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  60. Bonnie said " I've got a few referred to in my textbook that I can whip out if 'Luis' happens by"

    DO NOT say his name 2 more times..he might appear if you do!! I really don't miss his *intellectual* additions to the comment area.


    Another one would be FEAR with Mark Wahlberg and Reese Witherspoon.

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  61. UGH. I definitely dated this guy.

    Good luck Annie + Mike!

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  62. mr. mrs. fangfaceMay 5, 2009 at 8:39 PM

    Sorry, casualencounters, but I don't have any LOLcats or Rickrolls to whip out. Neither to I have any witty quips about anal sex or pop culture. But I do know that I'm awesome because my mum told me so. :D

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  63. mr. mrs. fangfaceMay 5, 2009 at 8:40 PM

    Ugh, how the hell did "Nor do" become "Neither to"? DX

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  64. Swimfan...creepy stalker chick movie. &Bonnie, that comment about you-know-who? Thumbs up. Haha.

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  65. Annie again... Robert has now resorted to sending me random emails and texts with pictures of stuff he knows I like to try to get a response from me...

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  66. >DO NOT say his name 2 more times..
    >he might appear if you do!! I really don't >miss his *intellectual* additions to the >comment area.

    Good point. Perhaps I should refer to him as 'He Who Shall Not Be Named'. ;)

    >&Bonnie, that comment about you-know-who? >Thumbs up. Haha.

    *takes a bow* Thank you, thank you, I'm here all week. ;)

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  67. "Annie"- He is a much bigger moron than I first thought. What is he expecting here? "Oh! Robert sent me a picture of a kitten! I'll just quickly respond about how much I like kittens!"
    How long has this been going on for?

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  68. I had a very similar situation last fall after reconnecting with an ex from high school that i hadn't seen in 11 years. Last time i checked (which has been a bit) he was still writing me long, creepy blogs on myspace. *shudder*

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  69. Holy crap, that sounds just like a situation I got involved in with a guy from a web forum a couple of years ago. This guy's name isn't really Greg, and he isn't from Palmdale, California, is he? All the insistence on moving across the country after the first meeting and getting all control-freaky is eerily familiar.

    Ah, who am I kidding, there are so many guys like this. Puke.

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  70. ...wow, um...scary.

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  71. LMAO the best reading I'v had for a while on the net, you write very well

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  72. Good luck Annie and Mike! I do wish you the best. I had a "boyfriend" break up with me TWICE by e-mail and that was after ranting and raving like you wouldn't believe. He would then apologize after saying really ugly things until the next time and say he must had been "nuts". After the second time (I know, I should have known better), I cut off all communication but still see him in public from time to time. By the way, I met my wonderful husband on eHarmony and wouldn't change anything.

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  73. What is it with Roberts? My stalker was a Robert, as well, and after only 2 weeks professed his love for me so... inexplicably and so often... that he lost all of his own friends over it. I haven't seen hide nor hair of my stalker Robert in about 5 years and frankly... that worries me.

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  74. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  75. I don't think the fella is crazy.

    It's a common misconception that people who are emotionally immature (or just plum dumb) suffer from brain disorders. Trust me, no pill will stabilize this sort of imbalance or teach you something you're too in denial to grow up and learn...and that's what this guy needed to do and I pray subsequently did.

    Honestly, I sort of sympathize with parts of his situation, but not his reaction to it. I was in something similar and even though it was way different in that it was a love affair that was on-and-off for 4 years--and there was no stalking/nuttiness involved, I was juts in love and not ready to let go of something that obviously became one-sided.

    However, after a lot of introspection and brutalhonesty with myself I realized it was time to cash in my chips; I hoisted my balls up, girded myself up and walked it off. like a man is supposed tothe fella isn't crazy, he's just extremely immature. Think about it...doesn't his words just scream "I harbor an immature perception of what love is."?

    by the by, for those mentioning how nuts make up most of the interweb...I admonish you to try leaving your house and not see senseless humans in your synagogues, grocery stores, and hospitals. They're everywhere. There's just a high concentration of nuts doing subversive nutty crap on the internet that is basically put on display...exempli gratis:

    ReplyDelete
  76. Wanna hear a story about people meeting online?

    My friend met a guy on an anime forum, and they started messaging each other a lot. Then calling.

    Then he flew into town to take her to her senior prom, after which he PROPOSED. It was the very first time they had ever met in real life, and they had only been actively talking online for about a month before. Craziest part is the she accepted (she has terribly low self-esteem, he is her second boyfriend and she probably thinks she can't get anyone else). Yeah.

    Then she got pregnant. Now they are living with her mother, and basically stuck together. He has the balls to not abandon her with his kid, but I really don't see it as the start of a great relationship. He is also a little over 10 years older than she is.

    I know one of our friends thinks it is adorable, that it was like love at first sight. Me, I think it is a little creepy.

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  77. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  78. Annie, make with the name of the forum! We want to rank this loser to the dogs and back!

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  79. The part about the dog tags were what said "crazy stalker" to me. Something I learned years ago, from a truly horrifying experience I won't go into here...except to say that giving you something important to them at the last minute "to remember me by" is something crazy controlling assholes do. They then try to use it as leverage to see you again, or to make the relationship sound more legitimate in the eyes of other people...After all, if you were never his girlfriend, why do you have his high school class ring? or whatever it is.

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  80. All said and done in my opinion none of this would have happened if wonderful Annie wasn't so quick to jump into the sack with some new admirer. Over time in a more restrained relationship Roberts insecure and immature personality would have surfaced. The rejection would have been easier for Robert... Women today are to quick to drop their panties and get a guy hooked.... Mike is a kind of clown himself she will cheat on him sooner or later again , because a leopard doesn't loose her spots....o sorry she is a cougar....

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  81. Woww.. actually, this story sorta reminds me of how I was with a guy once. And I'm a girl. Jeez. Well maybe not quite that extreme, I didn't MOVE CITIES to stalk a guy, but I wrote him a letter, constantly cried over him even when he was with a new gf, constantly asked people about him, when we'd been together 3 months.. and this went on for over a year until I finally realised how weird and stalkerish I'd been. Youre right, stalkers really do have no idea how they act. I know cuz I was one. At the time I was in complete pain. That's not love , it's nothing to do with caring about the other person lol

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  82. All of you, you are pathetic, not one of you will stand out and give a hand to this poor guy. Every single of you encountered once in his miserable life, a feeliing of overwhelming love. And yes, you can act and speak foolish, it doesn't make you someone bad for the slightest bit.
    Basically, you all laugh at yourself!!

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  83. robert...GET A GRIP!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
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