Sunday, July 5, 2009

No, It's Because You're An Asshole

Gina recently accepted an opportunity to join in on a roundtable discussion regarding subtle racial tensions on her college campus.

Afterwards, a man named Carl approached Gina for a little one-on-one conversation.

Apparently, Carl felt the best way for different groups of people to come together was to literally have them come cum together.

"Out of pretty much no where, he came on to me in a very explicit, gross, sexist way," says Gina.

Carl began their brainstorming session on race relations with a two-part story detailing how he lost his virginity.

In the first part of his story, Carl gleefully and graphically recollected the day he lost his virginity to an "ugly girl." While Carl didn't much care for the girl, he decided to give her a "couple of pokes" anyway.

In the second part of his story ... oh, wait, there was no second part.

But thankfully, according to Carl, there was a lesson learned:

"Once you go black, you never go back."

Which proved Carl was not only comfortable in sharing his sexual exploits with complete strangers, but he was completely fucking unoriginal in every sense of the word.

Carl began pressing Gina to provide information regarding her sexual history, at which point Gina explained to Carl she was extremely uncomfortable with the direction their conversation had taken.

Carl understood and dropped his line of questioning, but filled the sudden lull in their conversation by describing his long-time sexual "fetish" for Jewish girls.

Yes, that's right, Carl loved Jewish women, but of course he would never go down on one.

In fact, Carl told Gina that he never goes down on women. If the two began dating sometime in the near future, Carl insisted he would not perform oral sex on Gina, but, of course, Gina would be required to perform oral sex on him.

Carl's girlfriend thankfully interrupted the conversation with a phone call, and Gina listened in as Carl lied to his girlfriend about his whereabouts. They were in the common area of her dormitory, but Carl told his girlfriend otherwise.

Gina was pretty sure she knew the type of guy she was dealing with now.

"I got nervous about kicking him out because he was being so aggressive and I didn't want to incite a confrontation since there was no one around, but after I insisted he leave, I began to get a series of emails, to which I mostly did not reply."

After receiving several graphic emails, Gina informed Carl he needed to refrain from contacting her any further. If Carl sent her one more email, she would immediately request a restraining order against him through the campus police department.

And we all know what that means here at PLFM.

It means Carl responded with the following email:


I tried to be the big person in order to bring an end to this senseless animosity. However, one individual can only do so much. I have done all that I can. But I leave you with one last thought.

Do you wonder why all of the black kids sit with each other in the cafeteria?

It’s because they are both afraid to interact with people of another race and they have had negative experiences. I tried not to be one of those stereotypical black students at [college redacted] that only talks to my on kind but time after time I see that it’s no use.

I count you in those throngs of white kids that don't understand us around campus and don't care to understand us. I just don't understand how anyone could turn away a chance to bring an end to senseless racial tension through simple interact(ion).

I won't even go into the animosity between blacks and Jews. You can ponder that yourself as you ask how many black people actually show up at XXXXX XXXXXXXXX (even during black history month).

And now I will end this.

But I hope in the future that you remember all of this next time you wonder why the black kids don't interact with you much around campus.


Hmmmm, Carl.

That's strange, because Gina actually volunteered to attend the meeting in order to discuss solutions for improving relations between different groups on campus.

Yet all you wanted to talk about was your fucking dick.

So, in turn, we hope in the near future you'll discover the reason women refuse to interact with you on campus has nothing to do with the fact that you're black.

More likely, it's because you're a whole new strain of fucking asshole.

Adds Gina: "I'm (sending this to PLFM) two years later because I no longer get shaky and nauseated just thinking about it, and it feels therapeutic."


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. Weasel! Can't have your own FIRST! comment, that's no fair!

  3. LOL.

    All I was going to say was this isn't a post about race, but I'm afraid that is what it will turn into.

    This is a post about a complete fucking asshole trying to shift the blame onto someone else for his own pathetic, misogynistic behavior.

    'Nuff said.

  4. Less about the article, more about the blog in general, it possible to send messages from creepy ex-GIRLFRIENDS here too? Is there a sister blog, Psychotic Letters From Women? I have a bad tendency to erase all of mine after, but I know that a lot of guys have gone through some real shit from women who've stalked them, and it hardly gets any attention.

  5. Anonymous - Weasel has put out several calls for psychotic letters from women, but so far no one has responded, apparently. I for one would love to see them as well! A few of my guy friends have had some doozies, but sadly they deleted them as well.

  6. And to comment on the post - you've got it right, Weasel, it's not a race thing, it's an asshole thing, and because of the ugliness of white privilege, assholes who happen to be in one of the marginalized groups have another weapon in their asshole arsenal.

    I've had men lie on the phone to their wives/girlfriends infront of me, too, while they're hitting on me. Do they think that's at ALL attractive?! Or that we'll think that they won't lie to us?

  7. Hmmm Im a nice Jewish girl and I interact just fine with my black friends. However an asshole is an asshole no matter how its dressed up.

  8. YES PLEASE SEND IN letters from psychotic women. I've received a few, I might post one of them, but I'm looking for something truly psychotic!

    PLEASE for the love of God send 'em in!

    -The Weasel

  9. Diversity promotion groups on campus are such PC, feel-good bullshit. What a joke!

  10. Bleh =[ @ssholes are @ssholes, and we should spay and neuter the lot of them.

  11. Right because friendship building and -bridge- building conversation centers around his dick.

    I once had a guy tell me that I had to put out on the first date because 'black guys don't like girls who don't fuck'


  12. I've had a man give me the "you only hate me because I'm white" crap when I turned him down. To which I replied "I'm white. We're all white. We live in Amish Country you dumb shit".

    I doesn't matter how it's dressed up. Guys like this will use hot issues to muscle their way into your vajayjay. Of course you're a racist for not sleeping with him. The only reason race is an issue because he's making it one.

  13. I love it when guys pull the race card as the sole obvious reason you won't go out with them. Many years ago, a girlfriend and I were in a parking lot, going to our car, when we were approached by a group of guys who, seeing we were young, attractive, and alone, automatically assumed we would be overwhelmed with romantic glee at their catcalls and assessments of our breasts and backsides. And, being as it was 4am, we would surely like nothing more than to hang out with them rather than going home to nurse our burgeoning hangovers and maybe get some pancakes.

    They were dead wrong, of course.

    We tried to tell them nicely that we weren't interested ("No, we're going home. We're tired.") We quickly progressed to nice-but-still-firmly telling them we weren't interested ("Look guys, it's 4am and WE ARE NOT INTERESTED, LEVAE US ALONE.") Apparently, this could only mean one of two things to these fellas: either we were blind, deaf, and without a sense of smell, or we were racist (which is what they decided on, and decided to yell after us as we drove away.)

  14. KD - lol

    Ignoring the racism thing, since it's ridiculus, why do some guys think that witnessing them treat other women like crap is a turn? I just don't get it...

  15. Ah yes, the it's not me, you're a bigot defense.

    I got that from a gay waiter once. Opened the meal talking about oral sex, wanted me to go into the bathroom for some anal, and when I was just sort of shocked, he accused me of being scared of the "big bad gay man". It progressed to him actually trying to take off my shirt randomly at the end of the meal. Unfortunately, I was too shocked and tired to complain.

    When I finally had the nerve to go back a week later, he cornered me outside and started crying that if I complained, he'd lose his job because his boss didn't like gays.

    Again, I think he missed where the real issue was. And no, I never did complain. The boss came out and ran back in terrified, and I gave up trying to get past the waiter.

  16. Ahhhhh . . . just goes to show that some things truly are blind. You can be an *sshole no matter what your race, religion, national creed, financial status, age, or upbringing. They're everywhere!

    See, life really IS fair ;)

  17. I was in a bar one night with the girls (boyfriend was chilling at another table with the boys) when this black guy comes up to me hitting on me. I made nice, but made it clear I was not interested and had a boyfriend who was near by. He kept on, talking about how sexy my ass was and how I MUST be wanting something more then my man because I was wearing a top that showed cleavage (hello, ever hear of make the boyfriend happy so he pounces you when you get home?), so I told him to go fuck himself. After that he got all LOUD yelling "you white bitches are all the same, you wear cloths that make you look like sluts so us black men fall under your spell then you get all racist after turning us on because you HATE THE BLACK MAN AND WANT TO KEEP HIM DOWN!" Everyone nearby just stared at him, and I burst out laughing, then EVERYONE started laughing, and the owner threw him out for making racist coments as well as harrassing his girls. We laughed about that shit all night (including my black girlfriend at the table).

  18. WOW - guys will stoop to any level for pussy! Really, Carl, what would MLK say?

    Reminds me of my own experience with a racial offender - After a long day at work, I found that my car battery had died in the Metro garage so I called my husband to come get me. Since he was far away and it was a very cold February, I walked for 20 minutes to the nearest place with heating - a McDonalds. I sat down to defrost with coffee, fries and the latest Vogue when this skinny short fella in dreads asked "Is this chair available?" I told him he can take it, thinking he needed for his own table. Wouldn’t you know it, he sat down at my table! I buried my face in my magazine and he just stared for a few minutes. He introduced himself and offered his hand. I shook it quickly and in silence. He then launched into a speech about how I was so beautiful, how he wanted to be friends, etc (he had a heavy French accent so I barely understood him). I politely told him I wasn’t interested, I had a rough night and I just wanted to be left alone (note: I was wearing my wedding ring). He stood up and said “That’s discrimination. That’s racist. That’s not right.” He started to act all hurt and offended. My Southern courtesy quickly wore off. “I’m not racist, you moron. Look at me, I’m friggin Pakistani American!” I wanted to add “And when did they pass the law regarding equal opportunity pussy?”
    He ambled over to the counter to get some food and I had a sick feeling he was going to be back and I might just punch him in his goddamn face. My husband came in to the McDonalds just then. Picture him for a moment - 6 feet tall, weighs about 220 lbs and was wearing a black shalwar kamis (it’s the traditional garb for Pakistani men) and a leather jacket. I walked right over to him and planted a huge kiss on his mouth. Of course, I didn’t tell him why I did that until after we drove away. ;-)

  19. 'black guys don't like girls who don't fuck'
    It's true. No guy does.

  20. I love when Nasty ass men pull the racist card
    I'm a 5'9 cowgirl, very muscular, my friends constantly call me "Chyna" off of WWF. Little tiny mexican men called me a racist when I said no. What did they want to date someone who could benchpress them? Seriously. They weren't even tall enough to get on a rollercoaster. Nevermind they could barely speak english, you know, because why would we ever need to speak except to yell "ay dios mio" When I'M holding HIM up against the wall.

  21. What a complete twatwaffle.

    I had an experience once that almost turned me lesbian. I was out with friends, we were all just hanging out and sipping drinks and this group of black guys came up to our table and started grabbing their junk and talking about how much we needed to take a ride on their "chocolate love wands" (I kid you not)I laughed and politely declined and went back to my drink. And they went into their little speech about how I was so racist and blah blah blah and just then, the lights went up for last call and they realized that I wasn't all they called me a race betrayer and told me it's women like me that make black men date white women. I just laughed it off as pure ignorance.

    I don't care what colour you are, if you come up spweing juvenile bullshit at me, I'm gonna shoot you down.

  22. Why do men want to have sex with someone they have nothing in common with. Black men would come into where I work and hit on me bad. One group in paticular was very obviously "city". I am very much "country"! Complete opposites. The only thing we had in common was a love for very large jewelry. My belt buckle could double as a dinner plate. Their bling bling could replace hubcaps in a pinch if need be. When I declined multiple times, they start on the don't you have any love for the brothers? You know you want a black brother. Well I have a white brother and I don't like him so I don't think I would like another in any color, but thanks for asking!

  23. OOOOO, the Race Card.

    That's just .... well, infuriating. On sooo many levels.

    "it's not a race thing, it's an asshole thing, and because of the ugliness of white privilege, assholes who happen to be in one of the marginalized groups have another weapon in their asshole arsenal."


    Can somebody PLEASE come up with a textbook for "How To Be Classy 101" and then make it a federal requirement for kids, since they're stuck with standardized testing anyway?

  24. This is totally like that Chappelle's Show sketch "The Monsters": "YOU'RE A FRANKENSTEIN!"

  25. How do people like this NOT see why they're being called on their shenanigans? They're like.....almost narcissists. They think they are the perfect catch and just can't see why anyone would say "Stop being a lint-for-brains!"

  26. Makes you wonder what idiots fell for this crap and actually slept with him? Shame on them LOL

    36 & Single

  27. Eeekk. Yuck. This douchetank turned it into a race thing. Which is annoying all together.


  28. I do have to confess that Ive never dated a black guy and wont. I had a friend growing up who was a product of a white mother and black father. Ok this was in the late 60's early 70's. They eventually divorced. My friend who was a good, cute kid wasnt wanted by either parent. He was too 'black' for his mother and too 'white' for his father. My friend as a kid of about 10 committed suicide. He couldnt stand not being wanted by anyone. Ive never forgotten him. Someone has to remember him. IM in my mid 40's now. When I enlisted into the USAF one of the classes taught was about diversity. The TI who taught it was a white woman who was married to a black guy. They had three kids. We had a long discussion over interracial marriages. After hearing about my friend she could see my position. Though today its more common and tolerated, back then it wasnt. I have friends today who are in interracial marriages and life is just fine but I still remember Phillip and what it did to him.

  29. @ Lynda: That story is awful. That poor kid.

    Let's say someone did sleep with one of these creeps after playing the race card in the grossest way possible. I'm sure they'd never have the self-awareness to realize that they were more or less a pity fuck. Like Sweet Pea said, shame on everybody.

  30. last summer i was walking through Philly and a beggar asked me for some money, and i said "No. no thanks." as i briskly walked away, and then he screamed loud enough to draw the attention of the hotdog cart guy "It's because I'M BLACK, ISN't IT!?!?!"
    No... no. It's because I was a poor law student, $100,000 in debt and he had more change in his dunkin' donuts cup than I had (or HAVE currently)

  31. Lynda: What's your point? Kid killed himself, because his parents failed him or because of race?

  32. She shoulda printed his e-mails and posted them in the dorms. It woulda be considered a public service.

  33. Hahaha, wait, so Carl is basically insisting that Gina would be thrilled to be with a guy who

    a) bragged about "poking" ugly women
    b) demanded head but stated explicitly that he would give none
    c) was clearly attempting to cheat on his girlfriend

    ...if only he were white?

  34. Bit of a lame post and poorly written to boot

  35. No, you are a bit lame and anonymous to boot

  36. If you don't like it, Anon 4.15, kindly get the fuck out.

    Also, this guy is an asshat of the highest order and any woman stupid enough to fall for his bullshit deserves him.

  37. @Lynda:

    I'm in an interracial relationship, and know a lot of mixed kids. While your experience is awful and I feel sad for his family, I'm pretty damn sure stuff like that is pretty rare nowadays.

    As for the main post -- ewwwwwwwww. Ewwwwwww. D: What a fucking creep.

  38. Also I'm loving all the racist comments on here, lulz. People are fucking assholes.

  39. -snort-

    If she had been the same race, he would have accused of of being a lesbian.

    Can't win with these guys. If you don't fuck 'em, then you get called names, if you do fuck 'em, you've wasted your time and probably caught something.

    Eh, I'll go for the name calling, thanks.

  40. This totally isn't about race, but I guess poor black Carl can't see that through his tears over why a nice Jewish girl would be so harsh to him after he sent her so many skeevy emails. *rolls eyes*

    Speaking of black assholes, a co-worker told me today that the divorce she'd filed for *two weeks* after the wedding was finally official. It seems Dr. Jekyll had another life as Mr. Hyde, complete with multiple girlfriends. My co-worker found out when he was at a 'friend's house and she went over to meet up with him but he wasn't there. One of Mr. Hyde's girlfriends was, though, and she thought he'd been living with his sister, as well as that Mr. Hyde was going to buy her an engagement ring. I guess he was able to keep his other life secret because Co-worker isn't into the whole club/bar scene.

  41. Oh, forgot to mention that Mr. Hyde has been emailing my co-worker pretty much since she left him, asking if she wants to go get a hotel room and saying he loves her. He recently got engaged to someone she knows but I guess he doesn't see that as a good enough reason to stop trying to hook up with his ex. xp

  42. Wow. I still have to shake my head at the asshats who think that life is one huge porno and that by waving their pitiful excuse for a trouser snake around, they'll get some action. I mean, come on! God knows where it's been, and I'm sure that information is being witheld to preserve our sanity.
    I'm also dismayed that the race card is still being dropped as much as it is. While in some situations it has merit, it's infuriating to see people use that card as a rebuttal to someone's reaction to an asshat action. I'm with Cattypex on this one. We need a finishing school for guys so they can learn how to be gentlemen, not pigs.

    I can't wait to see your next article, Weasel. They're great!

  43. I grew up in a very racist home. Hell, we are Irish descent and my dad still referred to the family as those "dirty micks". Up until school I thought the right way to refer to black folk was the N word. At that time it wasn't a slur to me, just a name. I didn't have the hate my parents do. Growing up though I've had many encounters that made me think, "If I didn't realize this was just an asshole in front of me I'd feel the way my dad does".

    No matter where you go you are a representative of your race, family, gender, etc. Act responsibly and with respect lest you become the reason someone makes generalizations about a whole group of people. Oddly enough, that advice was given to me by my racist mother in regards to being a christian!

    That is a very sad story but one that reflects the attitude of the times and something timeless, bad parents. Bad parents of any generation will find a reason to be bad parents. Your young friend's problem wasn't he was biracial but because his parents didn't give a shit and needed an excuse. Unfortunately he paid the ultimate price for it. Thank you for sharing your story.

  44. @The Takeout Wench and Anonymous 3:08 - it sounds like Lynda's friend's suicide happened when she pretty young. Stuff like that kind of gets seared into your brain and it's probably hard for her to disentangle the emotional stuff and the causality.

    My aunt's ex-husband is white (my family is Chinese Malaysian) and he's kind of a for a while when I was a kid I thought all white American men were loud and annoying.

  45. "No matter where you go you are a representative of your race, family, gender, etc. Act responsibly and with respect lest you become the reason someone makes generalizations about a whole group of people."

    >Be careful lest someone think stupid thoughts.

    "Stuff like that kind of gets seared into your brain and it's probably hard for her to disentangle the emotional stuff and the causality."

    So it's okay to be stupid.

  46. My friend killed himself in the early 70's. Back then it wasnt common to see interracial relationships or kids for that matter. I grew up in basically an all white town and we had a METCo program that bussed blacks kids in from Boston to go to school there.

    After seeing what my friend went through I refuse to put any other child through that. I have friends who have kids that are biracial. That's fine, my choice not to go down that road.

  47. Lynda, the story you shared is truly tragic. I understand why you feel that way, though I will say, respectfully, it's not like that anymore.

    I just graduated from the most diverse high school in NYC, and we had kids of every background imaginable -- race, ethnicity, nationality, religion. If your friend was something different than you, it meant sweets on Diwali or that they couldn't go to prom because it was on the Sabbath or that you got to admire their salwar kameez or that they preformed a folk song or a traditional dance in the talent show, and you got to share those differences. It was part of our education. I wouldn't trade any of those kids for the world. I think many people my age belong to a new, globalized generation, where racism and sexism classism etc blah blah blah make no sense. Most of my friends are off exploring the world, volunteering and travelling, right now. I'm not criticizing your life decisions; just offering a more contemporary view of kids' situations now.

  48. I think Carl is an ass. The question here; is he the norm or the exclusion of his race. If he's the norm, then this article definitely becomes a race issue.

    Now, I know plenty of coloured individuals that have ethics and common sense. Its the ones that I (more worried about the girlfriend) meet on the streets.

    I blame society and porn (so the media). I know too many males of all races/religion/social ranking that can only think with their little soldier (emphasis on little). I wonder if there's a good unbiased scientifically based book about the psyche of average penis-centered male. Anyone have good references?

  49. 7/6 Anon @ 11:18 -
    Way to selectively extract and wilfully misread one small fragment in order to try to make a point (and fail miserably); the only point you make well is that you're misanthropic and potentially maladjusted.
    "So it's okay to be stupid."
    Thanks for trying (unsuccessfully) to translate for us from something that was already in English. Situational apprehension fail.

    As well, you can shut down that tired "fix'd" business. It's fine for Shakespeare, but you're clearly not Shakespeare, Shelley, nor Milton, my dear. Nobody is taken in. Move along and find something to which your skills are better suited, such as composing snappy playground comebacks for fourth graders.

    -- L.

  50. I will never EVER understand men who have the 'I won't go down on you, but you MUST go down on me' mentality.

    Um, no. We either both do it to each other, or we both DON'T do it to each other.

  51. Lynda
    Thank you for remembering Phillip. It is a difficult cross to bear.
    My first husband was (is) an asshat. Look it up in the dictionary, and there is his picture! He was an ass when I married him. At 19 I thought, 'once he sees how much I love him, he will change.' YOU CAN'T CHANGE PEOPLE. You can help them if they want to change, but you can't do it for them. Now, he is trying to get custody of our son - after over 10 years abroad! He suddenly decided that my baby is better with him and his new wife. I guess he (my son) could get a bit of an education in things I can't teach like:

    a) what to do when the cops come knocking on your door for domestic violence.

    b) where to go when 'dad' gets mad and kicks everyone out of the house for the night.

    c) how much beer can one person drink in a night (I'm not against drinking, but I am against being completely blitzed with your - or any - kids).

    d) how to be a complete racist. I am from the South and I work very hard to teach my children - yeah, I remarried - to see people for who they truly are, not what is on the outside.

    Whoops, started ranting. Sorry.

    Lynda, ignore the crap. Phillip killing himself was, obviously, hard on you. Maybe you will change your personal views on interracial marriage, maybe not. I like how you say it is not okay for YOU, but you are fine with others doing it.

    As parents, we should try our best to love and raise our children right. (Yeah, mommy gene coming through.) I'm thinking this blog should be required reading for all high school kids to show them how NOT to act. Hey, Weasel, is that a book I smell? Cattypex hit the nail on the head. 'How to Be Classy 101'

  52. My weirdest race-card story actually happened to my boyfriend. He used to live in an area where there were a lot of homeless (and faux-homeless), so he was pretty used to getting asked for handouts; however he generally carried no cash on him because his job didn't pay much and he didn't want to spend extraneously.

    After turning down one such panhandler for exactly that reason (no money anywhere on his person), the guy loudly yelled/grunted, "It's cause ah'm BLACK, isn't it?!"

    Boyfriend wondered if the guy somehow had forgotten, or hadn't looked in a mirror lately, because...he (the "black" homeless guy) was very, VERY obviously...white.

  53. Many years ago, I waited tables at a national chain bar and grille. Basically the front of the house was white, and the back of the house (all the cooks and prep cooks) were about 80% black.

    So there was this one particularly pushy guy working in the back of hte house as a prepep cook. This guy would ask me out almost weekely. I told him "no" every single time. It didnt' stop him from asking me again and again, though. Aside from calling me "baby" constantly (I wasn't his baby, and this particular practice among the line cooks was exceptionally grating on my nerves), this guy would touch me whenever the opportunity presented itself. On my arm, my back, nothing inappropriate, except that he just shouldn't have been. I didn't like it,a dn I didn't like him.

    He gave me the proverbial creeps.

    Finally after telling this guy "no" weekly for months that I wouldn't go out with him, he finally pulled the race card out, and put it ont he table.

    "Baby. You won't go out with me because I'm black. You just won't date a black guy!"

    To which I promptly replied (and this was in teh way back time befroe I actually filtered what I said to other people), "No, I don't care that you are black. I care that you are an asshole. And I don't date assholes."

    Surprisingly, or maybe not so much, he stopped asking me out after that!!

  54. mr. mrs. fangfaceJuly 7, 2009 at 8:17 AM

    Ah, I love how ugliness and classlessness are so universal! X3

    Seriously though, douchebags'll come up with any excuse except for their own ineptitude as humans to explain away their failures in romance.

  55. @Bonnie: No kidding! And that he somehow thought that this would make her MORE likely to sleep with him... cluelessness abounds. On a side note, I also don't understand women -- usually college age -- who are willing to give, but not to receive. Apparently "it's gross." What gives?

    I really do think Weasel's onto something about men projecting their thought processes onto women: "I get excited at the thought of pussy, so she's bound to get excited at the thought of cock!" I also think he's right about porn being a major contributor to that -- see enough images of women overcome with lust at the sight of a penis, and men start to believe that's the way it really is. Um, no. I've got nothing against penises, really, but the proximity of one isn't going to make me hot and bothered. Bothered, maybe, but not hot.

    I've never had anybody play the "you won't sleep with me because I'm _____" card on me, but I live in a city with no racial majority. It's usually safe to assume that if someone could afford to move but hasn't, they're probably not a big ol' racist.

    I *have* had a guy do the "blatantly attempting to cheat on his girlfriend" thing, though. They lived directly downstairs from me, she was six months pregnant, and I was seriously involved with a guy who was thinking of becoming a minister. This apparently intrigued Neighbor Guy, who would "coincidentally" be doing laundry at the same time as I was on a fairly reliable basis. I finally explained to him that a) as a Christian, I wasn't having sex with my boyfriend but b) as a Democrat, I didn't particularly care how other people conducted their private lives. THAT's when he decided to proposition me. Because the kind of girl who doesn't sleep with a long-term boyfriend and is seriously considering the prospect of being a pastor's wife is JUST the kind of girl who'd have meaningless sex with random acquaintances. I guess he thought that the "not having sex" thing was some weird perversion enforced by the boyfriend, so chaste must equal sex-starved. To his credit, though, once I explained to him how completely wrong he was, and how insulting I found his offer, he never ever bothered me again. Actually, he never spoke to me again. Or did laundry at the same time as me...

  56. I am white and live in a pretty diverse neighborhood in NYC; there are plenty of Latin/Black/Afro-Caribbean people in my neighborhood, and when I've been hit on by men on the street or subway who I turned down - mostly because I was dating at the time - I've never had any of them make race an issue. ("I've got a boyfriend" is apparently an effective reply for most guys.)

    Carl's issue isn't that he's black or she's white, it's that he's a douchetool and she has taste.

  57. Had a guy accuse me once of not wanting to date him because he was black.

    Um no, dude. It was because you're a raging alcoholic, who just happened to be married!

    Thought driving up in a Mercedes would make my legs open like the parting of the Red Sea. So not impressed.

    Drive up in a Ford 450 4X4 dually and I MIGHT take notice. Of the truck!

  58. @Anon 8:52

    >And that he somehow thought that this would >make her MORE likely to sleep with him...

    I know! How it'd think he'd have been more likely to claim he had 'exceptional prowess' in this technique as an inducement....unless he believes for some reason that Jewish women don't like oral? LOL.

    >On a side note, I also don't understand >women -- usually college age -- who are >willing to give, but not to receive. >Apparently "it's gross." What gives?

    Huh? That's a new one on me. Maybe they have some kind of fastidiousness issue...they want their crotchal areas to be 100% dry, clean, and scented like roses all the time, and since vadges don't work that way, they don't like their own, and by extension would die before letting some guy play around down there? That's my best guess anyways.

    And if that's the case, college girls, let me tell you a little something - this is NOTHING - just wait til you're pregnant!

  59. I will NEVER be pregnant. Ever. EVER. So, I guess I'll never know whatever. And, I love meaningless sex with random aquaintances. Yeah, baby. :P

  60. L.:"Nobody is taken in."
    >I'm writing you this note to tell you I'm not taken in.
    fix'd, also hypocrite

    Never gets stale.
    The internet is not a hugbox. Stupidity doesn't deserve sympathy even if someone prefaces it with a sob story. That just encourages stupidity. Moreover, this happened to not her and she could have learned. Instead, she shares her stupidity up to 4 decades later, because she won't reflect on it well or get informed and because cowards like you think it's too insensitive and "inappropriate" to straight up tell her she's wrong. You try to sugarcoat it by only suggesting to appear sensitive even though this is the internet and you don't fucking know the writer.

    Race doesn't exist. Read the academics, open any current anthropology reference. Like the married bachelor or the circular triangle, its definition is self-contradictory. It contradicts current science. The American notion of race is stranger.

    Though race doesn't exist, culture and racism do.

    "After seeing what my friend went through I refuse to put any other child through that. I have friends who have kids that are biracial. That's fine[...]"

    She still thinks it's about race. No one's addressing it well.

    Forget there are more than a "few" mulattos from that time and before and most of them are fine. Forget that one is president. Forget.

  61. I think Ron White said it best and it applies to Carl here:

    Can't fix stupid.

  62. Anon @ 11:57 -
    Your flagellation of deceased equines is, in fact what is stale. Played. Done and frikking dusted.
    As for "fix'd", that pretentious affectation, is that your problem? You blather witlessly to make up for the fact that, like a male dog, you've been emasculated and must repeatedly, gracelessly, selectively extract and wilfully misunderstand people's points just so you can have female attention, negative though it may be?
    And whether or not YOU, dear, think the internet is not a hugbox, if the people here want to make this part of it one, then bloody well deal with it. No one makes you read, much less post here, darling.

    -- L.

  63. In fact, Carl told Gina that he never goes down on women. If the two began dating sometime in the near future, Carl insisted he would not perform oral sex on Gina, but, of course, Gina would be required to perform oral sex on him.

    ...they still make men like that?

    (Admittedly, I don't get around much and all my boyfriends have been more than willing to give and receive.)

  64. "Race doesn't exist." Um. Maybe in an academic Ivory Tower, but I'm thinking that you're dealing in semantics here.

    On the other hand, "culture and racism do" is something I'll give ya 10000%.

    If I hear "I'm not racist BUT..." one more time, I reckon I'll kick somebody's ass. Actually I have a redneck coworker who says that all the time - she's CLUELESS.

    I KNOW I start forming assumptions before I have the whole picture, but if I see a young man - doesn't matter what color, they come in all shades of palest freckled pointy-faced redhead all the way through to Senegalese ebony around here - in super baggy falling off the ass manpris with a matching mixing bowl-sized cap sideways on his head, with an uneutered pit bull on a chain, I KNOW that we will have to scramble to find common ground on anything beyond the weather or the relative merits of Miller vs. Budweiser.

    Call me racist, classist, whatever, but we've got to have a FEW universal standards of Good Behavior, and our friend Carl obviously had no education that way.

    Is it the fault of cheesy mainstream gangsta pimp worship, like 1980s Rich Wall Street Guy worship? Did his mother simply never teach him anything? Does he REALLY have that big a chip on his shoulder?

    He's in college, so he's capable of learning. Who failed to teach him, and why didn't he listen?

    Plenty of white guys are just as douchelicious, hence PLFM. Is this an American problem? I've gotten nasty comments from Australian men in the past too, btw.

  65. what's the matter Anon @11:57, /b/ down again?

  66. I wanted to add one thing. I just realized, that the answer to the question "Its because I'm black" could potentially be a "Yes." That does not make it racist.

    I have my preferences in women. I have particularly strong affinity towards Asian women (my fiancée is Asian), but am completely turned off by some other races. I can chose whoever I want.
    You also have the right to sleep with who ever you want, and deny who ever else for what ever reason you want (including race, religion, and wealth). That's not racism, thats your life and body; just don't beat him with a bat. I really hate it how some members of visible minorities pull this kind of crap, giving a bad name to the rest of their race.

  67. Well.. I don't want this to go in about race too much, but, the biggest ass hole thug I've ever met was black. Though so was the sweetest man I've ever been involved with, Kevan was the psycho's name, and while I was nearly incapcitated with a migraine he came into the health room, kissed my neck, tried to kiss my lips, I said no, asked him to leave. He grabbed my hand and placed it on his hard dick, where I told him to go away.. It was all rather surreal through migraine fog, and no one ever did anything to him. I wonder how many other girls will be felt up by him, and how in the world did he learn to treat women that way.

  68. L.: Your face is stale. Burrrrrrrrrrrn!

    Failing to discredit an argument and pretending you have does not a dead horse beating make.

    I'm not going to quote the entirety of what's already here. Scroll up. And the text around a quote is not going to mitigate the stupidity in a quote. It's irrelevant.

    I challenge you to show I misread a quote rather than claim it. You can't: fail.

    cattypex: It does not exist. Ask Google: Google is your friend.

    Race is a cultural bound idea. It's so strongly bound people swear it's real, just like hundreds of years ago some people would swear the 4 humours are real. They're both of the same strain.

    It's not semantics and it's not Ivory Tower intellectual masturbation (ad hominem fallacy--shame on you). It's concrete, confirmable science with tangible consequences in biology, genetics, and anthropology. And in some universities (like Michigan) it's required education.

  69. One thing I learned is that every culture/race has it's own special brand of asshole. The preferred route asshole men and crazy women take. Black folk stand out for how aggressive they can be. It can be a good thing. I've met black men so enthusiastic, nice, funny, etc it's refreshing. I could easily fall in love with that hearty laugh. I've met others who take that same energy and are aggressive in a negative way. As upsetting as that is though it is nothing to the cumulative effect an annoying, stalking white man can be. (I seriously blame romance comedies for this). Don't get me started on how the latinos in the area seem to think women love drunk-singing into the phone at 2am.

    I've come to terms with the fact that if looking at a jerk and sensing what asshole route he'll take based on his speech and race is racist then I'm racist. Skin color is hardly an issue with an approachable man but when I spot a jerk I immediately wonder what stereotypical route he'll take.

    I have many good and bad stories about latinos, blacks, asians, whites, etc.

  70. (continued)
    but what it boils down to is that you're a jerk and looking to anything to shift blame from yourself.

  71. Anon @ 11:14, Don't worry, 4chan will be up soon. 7chan is up though. Go be an ass there.

  72. Anonymous=butthurt
    Again, you can't: fail.

  73. Anon at 11:16 --

    Insulting my looks, yet banging the logic drum? The repetition of "butthurt" (sad, jejune, exanimate term) is just as pointless, boring, and contradictory. It doesn't matter if you're 23, 35, 51, or whatever, but you have just confirmed my suspicions of a mental age of 11, tops. 11:23 is right - chan on, baby.
    And stop speciously dismissing any argument you can't reply to as a discredited form of argument. It's as lame as the gadgie-favoured "tl;dk" because it's not the writer's fault that your attention span is impoverished or nonexistent to the point that you can't intelligently rebut or focus long enough to read a couple of paragraphs.

    ... I know, I know, I ought not to feed the trolls, but I deal with inanities at various points during the professional day and find actually being able to reply therapeutic. Carry on, that is all. I'm quite enjoying the various points re: race in the comments.

    -- L.

  74. Google is your friend? Next you'll claim Wikipedia is an infallible source of info. Anon, you're just so damn cute.

  75. Anon @11:57 --

    To claim that "race does not exist" may be a true statement, but it sounds patently absurd to anyone outside of academia. If you are attempting to convince people, rather than lecture them, it's better to take a different approach. To paraphrase St. Augustine, nobody will take you seriously or respect your position if you're saying things that sound ridiculous.

    If you say that race is primarily a social construct, used as an ethnic signifier, can't be supported biologically or anthropologically, yet is so ingrained in our culture that virtually everyone believes it has real validity, people may listen. They may even get curious and do a little reading on the subject. Just hectoring them won't accomplish anything, any more than saying "The entire universe is composed of invisible vibrating strings" will get people to take quantum theory seriously.

  76. mr. mrs. fangfaceJuly 8, 2009 at 11:02 AM

    *sigh* Do I have to whip out that old cliche about arguing on the internet and the Special Olympics?

  77. "Insulting my looks, yet banging the logic drum?"
    Yup. It's obviously ridiculous (entirely like your bullshit) and totally unrelated to what ever the argument is.

    And you are butthurt. Why else would you be dragging this nowhere?
    (1) Do you write to show I misrepresent verbatim quotes? No.
    (2) Do you discredit the claim that context doesn't affect meaning in a quote by taking an interpretation I wrote and providing an undeniable correction that proves your case? No.
    (3) Do you type 'tl;dr' correctly? No.

    You provide no meritable arguments! Go back to making sandwiches in the kitchen, since that's apparently all your feeble mind is good for.

    rec3: It's not up to me to teach. Doing so is 'tl;dr' and goes unheeded every time. I write my point and indicate it has firm backing in academia, anthropology, and science (ie experts). That's enough.

    It's up to the skeptic to do their homework. Dismissing or making a point without any effort to inform oneself is arguing by uninformed opinion, a fallacy. Much of science violates a beginner's common sense. Appealing to common sense is also a fallacy.

    Before I challenge anything on here, I always do a quick Google or Wikipedia search build my case. It's the least effort. Sometimes I'm pleasantly surprised. Eg: "This 'race doesn't exist' nonsense sounds like meaningless academia detach from reality. I'm going to prove this faggot wrong and Google's going to show me. I'll expose the unreliable hacks that maintain this bullshit. Wait, what? Scientific American, Anthropology, Human Genome Project? WTF?!"

    '"The entire universe is composed of invisible vibrating strings" will get people to take quantum theory seriously.'
    Straw-man fallacy and equivocation. This is not quantum theory, which is confirmable. It's string theory. And string, here, is not the lexical definition. It's an entirely technical definition. Nothing technical to define in what I wrote.

  78. Seriously, I have met a few black guys that are like this. (like 3) If you don't want to fuck them, you're racist, if you don't want to suck their dick, you're racist. I mean, I'm glad I've met so many different ppl(of all creeds), bc interactions like that can make you racist. Its rediculous.

  79. I grew up in a Southern city, but I was in the really poor part. Economic advantage in being white? I never saw any. We were poor - the real deal poor. Not poor like "All my friends have Adidas and I don't have Adidas." No. We were poor like "We're having pancakes for dinner - again."

    Anywho, I got pretty tired of having to apologize for things I'd never done (like slavery), things not even my dirt poor ancestors had done (again slavery) and having people assume that my white life had been smooth sailing, in a sailboat, no, a yacht with butlers and maids because I'm white, dammit. All white people have it easy.

    So after a lifetime of assumptions based on my skin color, I couldn't help but find humor in it when black people called me racist.

    I had a black coworker who was incredibly inappopriate with me. He would walk up behind me and talk in my ear. Eeeeeewwwww! The comments were unprofessional, the personal space issues ... had a white coworker been that inappropriate, he and I would have visited H.R. Or the E.R. Whatever. But because this guy is black, I don't gut him like a fish. I decline politely. And decline, and decline, and decline.

    Finally I'd had enough and gave it to him with both barrels about his inappropriate ickiness, with nary a mention of color. And he says "Oh, I see how you are. You won't go out with me because I'm a black man!" Once again, I said a lot of things about creepiness and unprofessional behavior, but not one syllable about color.

    So I said ...

    "Fine, whatever. If not going out with you makes me racist, then I guess I must be racist, because I'm sure as hell not going out with you."

    He left me alone after that.

  80. Good grief.....all i've got to say is that creepy assholes come in all different shapes, sizes, and races - and most women in their right mind will not be attracted to that type of guy. period.

  81. @Lynda:
    I'm really sorry for the loss of your friend. It's very hard to lose a friend, especially at such a young age where it permanently affects your ideology. I'm not trying to change your mind about involving yourself in interracial relationships, because that's your decision to make on your own.

    This bothers me, though:
    "After seeing what my friend went through I refuse to put any other child through that."

    Through WHAT, exactly? Being a mixed kid? So, what, you pity multiracial children because they're miserable half-breeds that no one could possibly want or love?

    You sweet, sweet soul, you. I never thought I'd meeet someone who understood the deep inner torment that I face as a twisted product of two ethnic types.

    OH WAIT I LIED. Being mixed is awesome. My parents are still together, and they are not disgusted by me. In fact they went on to produce three more miserable half-breeds after me. Your loss is sad, yes, but that doesn't make your comment less repulsive.

  82. All of the ones in an idiotic please shut the hell up. God, I swear this entire comment section is lowering into the pits of LOLcats...

    Jesus Caramel Coated Christ, take your arguments somewhere else. This is a humor blog, not a cultural debate. I do like however that the people who actually give out their racial stories don't pay any attention whatso-fucking-ever to this little mini episode of Fox News.

  83. Meant to say "idiotic debate", my bad.

  84. carl was just a complete ass, using whatever card he could to try to guilt her into giving him sex.

    if she'd been black, he would have called her a shrew, if he'd been white, he would have called her a lesbian.

    lynda- your friend didn't commit suicide bc he was mixed, he commited suicide because he wasn't loved. that can happen whether you're mixed, white, black, or purple. there's a plethora of reasons why parents don't love their children- your friend's parents' reason just happened to be race- as far as you know. what happens behind closed doors is often different, especially between what adults do and what children comprehend.


    it's funny to read this, since it's the second time today i've read something race-related about bad dates, hence, the second time i will have written this anecdote...

    the race card goes both ways. i've dated interracially since i was a teenager.

    i went on a date with this one guy. we were in the middle of dinner when something made him bring up his ex. i asked why they broke up- to which he said, "she cheated on me for a n___."

    pissed, but calm, i asked, "if that's your opinion, why did you ask me out?" he then said,

    "oh, you're not a're just a black person. you're different. only poor black people are n___, because they're all crackheads and gangbangers and drug dealers. you're smart, articulate, cultured. you're almost like a white girl, only prettier, because your black skin is so exotic."

    i threw my wine in his fucking face and walked out.

    i got an i.m. from him the next day, telling me i was obviously some kind of racist, since i wouldn't sleep with him. 'if you weren't prejudiced against me for being white, you would have realized how much i respect you and wanted you yesterday.' and, 'i don't even think of you as a n___.'

    the grand summary of the rest of the i.m.: "let me into your pants to show me you aren't prejudiced because i'm white."

    so, sorry everyone who thinks only black men play the race card. ALL men play the asshole card- race is only a version of it.

  85. I have a race card story too. Long ago, I was pestered continually for a date by an unattractive guy at work -- he was short and paunchy, had a big square head adorned with a flat, oily pockmarked face, and he was ill-mannered, whiny, and repellently nerdy. I'm a nerd myself, but for all my love of computers, science fiction and comic books, I am nonetheless capable of conversing about other topics.

    Oh, and did I mention one of his legs was five inches shorter than the other because he got run over by a bus when he was a little kid?

    (I swear I am not making this up.)

    So, naturally, the reason I didn't want to go out with him is because he's Korean and I'm a racist.

    Yeah, I'm a mean old bigot because my black mother and white father raised me that way.


  86. Loved the commenter about her fat Pakistani husband. ooh scared.

  87. My ex partner is Jamaican and lives in Australia. At every opportunity he uses his race as an excuse for people hating him. People do not dislike him because of the colour of his skin, they dislike him because he is a lying, stealing narccisist. He claims that I am racist at every opportunity and blaims MY behaviour on me being "from a Anglo-European background in an Anglo society", yet he chose to be with me and have a child with me. He chose to marry a "Anglo-European" before me and have two children with her, and has chosen to marry another "Anglo- European" woman and is having his fourth child, just months after meeting his new wife.

    A wanker is a wanker no matter what their skin colour!

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