Kathy never quite fit the profile of your stereotypical corn-fed back-country female teenager.
While her overfed and under-educated high school girlfriends expelled a nearly constant stream of undernourished infants onto the floorboards of the town welfare office, Kathy chose to focus on her classwork in hopes of escaping the fate that befell so many generations before her.
Kathy wanted to attend college, move to the big city, and live the life most people in her hometown had only dreamed of. To achieve her goal, Kathy made a promise to her older sister that she would not have sex, drink or do drugs until she graduated from high school.
Kathy succeeded in her mission, and eventually found herself accepted to a number of out-of-state universities. She chose to attend a prestigious college nearly 1000 miles from her hometown, and couldn't wait for her new life to begin.
The hardest part?
Dumping her current boyfriend. "I told Chris I would have sex with him once I graduated but when it came down to it, he wasn't the guy I wanted to lose my virginity to," explains Kathy.
Kathy revoked his HymenPass© and set off for her college dorm, where she placed it a small glass case labelled "Break For Chiseled Buns Only."
Now, Kathy admits that while she was both excited and apprehensive about finally losing her virginity, she wasn't exactly going to give herself away to the first guy she saw. She wanted the right guy.
Kathy joined a sorority at her new college, providing her with ample opportunity to meet plenty of young fraternity men. She started drinking on weekends, hooked up with a few guys, made a lot of friends, but didn't really find anyone intriguing enough to sleep with.
Two months into her first semester, however, she found Todd.
Kathy describes him as gorgeous, charming, and really funny. "When he finally asked me out on a date, I knew he was going to be the guy." (Insert your own pre-teen, mall-style girlish giggles here.)
Todd didn't have much money, so on their first date he invited Kathy over to his room. When Kathy arrived, she found candles on his coffee table and Todd working a hot plate. "He made me what he called 'Todd Ramen.' It was really good and he was being so cute about it because he kept making jokes about how broke he was. I didn't care."
After dinner, Todd and Kathy started getting all hot and heavy on the couch in a manner you might expect from a couple of hot, young, nubile college undergrads, ever anxious to explore each other's tight, beautiful, firm bodies during the prime years of their lives.*
Ultimately however, Kathy didn't close the deal that first night. During a brief intermission in Act III of Fondle Me Gently, Todd asked Kathy "why she was so nervous." Kathy reluctantly admitted she was still a virgin and she wasn't quite sure if she was ready to have sex with him just yet.
Of course Todd was very supportive and understanding, so, according to Kathy, they "watched a movie for the rest of the night."
What movie, Kathy?
Yeah, that's what I thought.
Anyway, Todd and Kathy resumed their "relationship." They hung out frequently, met for lunch on campus, and often studied together. Kathy says she still wasn't quite ready to sleep with Todd just yet, but ultimately she knew she would when she felt comfortable. She really liked him. A lot.
But it sounds like Todd began losing his patience.
Todd seemed nice about it the first few times, but eventually he started getting testy when Kathy turned him down, as evidenced by this summarized chat snippet :
Kathy: (why are you) mad at me?
Todd: not mad i dont understand you
Todd: why you always stop
Todd: i still want to be with you
Kathy: (you are) with me
Todd: you know what (I) mean
Kathy was ready though, and decided the time had come for Todd to go where no man had gone before.
Todd had invited Kathy to one of their big fraternity theme date parties, and Kathy decided that would be a good night to lose her virginity to Todd. She prepared for the evening the same way every woman prepares to lose her virginity, which I imagine involves the copious application of some type of floral-scented genital powder that comes in a fancy-pants little tin with a mermaid on it.
Kathy got to the party and found Todd pretty drunk already. Kathy began drinking heavily herself, and before you knew it they were already back in Todd's room going at it hot and heavy, much to the chagrin of a certain fraternity couch.
Needless to say, the sex was absolutely amazing.*
*in the same way food poisoning is "amazing"
"It took forever and it was painful," says Kathy, adding "he was a pretty big guy."
Todd eventually got up and put his clothes back on. "Let's go back to the party," he told Kathy, and out the door he went without waiting for her.
That was it.
Kathy put her clothes back on and went back to the party. She only spoke to Todd a few more times that evening, and ended up leaving early to take a sick sorority sister home.
From that point forward, Todd began giving Kathy the cold shoulder. He rarely answered her texts, and always had excuses as to why he couldn't meet up with her. She'd drop by his fraternity and he'd say he was "busy." After a couple of weeks, Todd stopped responding to Kathy altogether. Through a sorority sister, Kathy eventually learned Todd had been pursuing another girl in a different sorority.
Kathy was devastated, and admits she might have gone a little overboard at first with the calls, emails and late-night texts to Todd. But she missed him terribly. She missed his cologne, she missed his smile, she missed her period, she missed his laugh, and she missed his .....
Whoa ... what? Rewind.
Kathy missed her period.
And a pregnancy test confirmed her worst fears.*
* "bees" fell to #2
Kathy initially tried calling Todd to tell him the news, but he wouldn't answer his phone. He wouldn't answer his texts either, so Kathy had to do it the hard way. She'd just text him the news.
"I'm pregnant," she texted.
Todd didn't reply for over an hour, when Kathy finally got this response:
"why are you telling me?"
Enraged, Kathy texted back and received no response.
Later that night, Kathy found the following email in her inbox from Todd.
Take it away, you big charmer:
When someone doesn't answer your texts and doesn't reply to your facebook emails, it means to stop texting me. Now your being plain stupid.
Even if I were to believe you were pregnant it couldnt be me (I don't believe you just so you know but I think we both know you aren't) For the sake of argument I did not come inside you. So how could I have gotten you pregnant? Maybe you should think about our history before you accuse me of getting you pregnant? Quit being so desperate
How many other guys you have slept with, maybe you should ask them Kathy? You play miss innocent virgin, but you shouldn't think I dont know you better now. Maybe I should talk to XXXXX or XXXXX at (fraternity redacted). Should I go on? Or should I embarass you more then you are already? Because I will if you want to keep sending me threats. I already showed XXXXXXX and XXXXXX your texts.
Maybe you should find something better to do with your time, accusing me of pregnancy is the dumbest thing you could have done and now you've pushed my buttons too far. If you don't get it I will gladly spell it out for you.
I didn't get you pregnant, and you might think if you keep calling me or texting me that I will meet with you again, but you are wrong.
The more you text me the more you annoy me and I think youre going to be a stalker which you already are, so if you want me to respect you, you would stop texting me.
Grow up and move on!
Quit e-mailing me and texting me or I will file harassment charges against you with [redacted]
In her letter to PLFM, Kathy responds:
"The two [fraternity redacted] guys he's referring to I didn't do anything with other than make out a little, and Todd knew that. He was the only guy I EVER slept with at that point."
So in a nutshell, Todd knew Kathy was a virgin when he slept with her. Then he accuses her of making up a pregnancy story to get his attention. But then he pulls a 180 and accuses her of getting pregnant by whoring it up like all those recently de-flowered virgin hookers do.
Anyway, Todd didn't respond to Kathy that evening, and she ended up breaking out into hysterics with a large group of her sorority sisters.
The next day, a sorority "strike force" confronted Todd on campus on behalf of Kathy. Kathy's sorority sisters helped Todd understand that, in no uncertain terms, he had impregnated Kathy. If he felt otherwise, he certainly might find his balls in a jar on a shelf somewhere in the medical lab.
Todd apparently came to his senses. Full of regret and feeling badly for the manner in which he had treated Kathy, Todd sat down and wrote a long, beautiful email, baring his soul to Kathy and waxing eloquently about his poor behavior.
Well, not quite.
This is actually what he wrote her:
Do what you have to do and I'll pay my half.
Nice, Todd. Very deep.
We're going to end our story there, folks, but we can tell you Todd fulfilled his promise and left the next semester to a different school. Kathy obviously hasn't heard from him since. Thankfully.
Now, Kathy acknowledged in her letter the tremendous stupidity of not using birth control and realizes she'll probably get bashed for it in the comments, but I'm just throwing it out there so you guys know.