Laura is a single gal looking for love. She recently posted an ad on a popular dating site, and soon began conversing with a man named Keith.
Keith told Laura he was "mesmerized" by her smile, and she was exactly the type of woman he had been looking for. Although Laura found him a bit socially "off" and needy at first, she enjoyed his intellect and began to converse with him briefly over the next couple of nights.
Deep into the relationship (which would be the third night they IM'ed each other), Keith began to intrusively probe Laura about her past relationships. Laura hesitated in responding because she really didn't know Keith that well, or really at all for that matter. She was sensing an overwhelming neediness from Keith already, and felt pretty cautious about revealing anything about herself to him.
She told him a little information- her ex had left her and returned to his ex-girlfriend. He wanted to know if Laura would ever take her ex back, and she said no. Keith then began badgering Laura to meet him for coffee so he could start being clingy with her in person. Laura wasn't comfortable meeting Keith yet, and began dropping excuses like M&M's in a forest.
"I am willing to meet you with zero notice at any time this week," Keith told her before she signed off, revealing not only his obsessive personality, but also his apparent lack of hobbies, friends, and employment opportunities.
Their three-day online relationship, Laura decided, was over. In a matter of three days, Keith had transformed from a charming intellectual to a pathological and clingy little boy.
And the next morning, Laura had an email sitting in her inbox.
A little overanxious after three nights of instant messages, perhaps?
I'm not sure that it would be very good for me at all if we started to get to know each other, and he returned and wanted to be with you; there has been enough terrible disappointment in my life in the last years already, and I would be disappointed, beyond words, because you are the kind of woman that excites me like no other, and I long for it more than I could ever say. I would love for you to see my bungalow, to show you my books, my signed Auden, make you a wonderful dinner.
More than that, though, is the almost unbearable silence and loneliness I live with. Please understand that I need to be with someone, to spend time together....I've had a few encounters that have remained completely online, and it ended up being quite painful, and it was better to withdraw from that...a prolonged hope of meeting someone, being together, is much worse, I've discovered, than simply dealing with being alone. (I know all there is to know about the crying game.) It sounds like the next month or two will make things hard for you - I understand that. It's OK -- we're just in different places. I hope you will understand how much I need, want, long for connection, for unruly Teslian arcs of mind-body discharge.
You're fantastic; if you would still like to talk and meet, I would love to hear from you. Someone wants to get together tomorrow afternoon for coffee, so I've decided to ahead with that -- no sign at all that she will be anywhere near as fun to talk with as you are, but then you're light years away from anyone I've talked with.
Thanks for understanding, When you typed LOL at my jokes -- I can't tell you how wonderful that felt; the Pompeiian ash broke off in chunks and it seemed I could move again.
"I believe I just dodged a bullet," Laura adds.
And PLFM agrees wholeheartedly.