Sunday, March 15, 2009

MySpace Stalker

Here's another helpful hint from the PLFM staff at WWHM World Headquarters:

Never, ever give out your phone number to random people you meet on the internet.

Yeah, I know it's not rocket science, but I'm no rocket scientist. Believe me, I can barely figure out pants.

Some people, unfortunately, have to learn the hard way.

Kelly has a MySpace account, and a few months ago a 23 year-old guy named Ryan sent her a friend request along with a message.

"Hi Kelly. How are you? My name is Ryan. I am a student at XXXX XXXXX and I am going for my bachelors in criminal justice... ... blah blah blah redrum blah blah."

Basically, it was one of those things where someone you don't know feels inclined to contact you and tell you everything about their life because, well, they have nothing better to do. Kind of like the homeless person sitting next to you on the bus, minus the muted yet scintillating aroma of recently expelled urine.

Kelly first assumed Ryan must be a friend of a friend, and responded to a couple of his messages. Then Ryan stepped it up a notch, and the increasing frequency of his correspondence began to creep her out a little. When he began trying to figure out where she boarded her horses, it began to creep her out a lot. She didn't know this guy for shit, and sure as hell wasn't going to tell him anything about the whereabouts of her horses, or herself for that matter.

Kelly ignored his repeated messaging.

A couple months later, Kelly made plans to go out to a party. Kelly and all her friends were underage, and desperately needed someone to hook them up with some beers. Having exhausted all her options, Kelly remembered one more option ... ... Ryan, the 23 year-old guy from MySpace. She grabbed his number, called him up, and asked him if he could arrange to buy them some beers for the night. He agrees.

Says Kelly, "This is my entire encounter with him in person: I roll down car window, tell him what we would like, hand him money, roll up window, he comes out and I roll window down again, take bag and thank him, drive away. The end."

Or so she thought.

Kelly thought she'd be nice and send him a text the next day to thank him for stepping up to the plate and making the long drive. He responded:

"So I want to learn more about you. When is your birthday? What is your favorite type of flowers/ food/ movies? What is your favorite place to shop?"

And Kelly, unfortunately, told him. Would you like a moment to cringe by yourself, or are you comfortable cringing as a group?

Now, before you go and start bagging on Kelly for her lapse in judgment, she realizes it was a mistake. She questioned her own sanity as she did it. But she did it. She's a very nice girl.

In the least shocking news since Clay Aiken admitted he was gay, Ryan then began harassing Kelly over the telephone. Ryan wanted an opportunity to date Kelly, and Kelly wanted absolutely no part of it. Ryan called numerous times every day to see if Kelly would go out to dinner with him. Kelly had daily excuses lined up until she ran out of excuses, and then started borrowing excuses from her friends. Then those excuses ran out, so Kelly finally had to tell Ryan the truth.*

(*If "the truth" meant "the exact opposite of things that are true.")

Kelly basically told Ryan that her parents would feed her to the chickens if she ever went out on a date with him, and it was just never going to happen. Never. Ever. Not in a thousand fucking years. Just knock it the fuck off already, alright?

Then the texting started. All hours of the day and night, Ryan began sending texts to Kelly. "Good morning beautiful! How did you sleep?" every morning, and "Goodnight beautiful, sleep tight!" every single night. And in between, he'd barrage her with a bunch of meaningless texts about his feelings for her and his daily activities.

She responded to none of them. At all. Ever. And he just kept coming harder.

Says Kelly, "See, I figured the average person would take a hint and realize that if someone is not responding to a single text you send for over a week (and you know they are not dead because you can see they have been online everyday) that probably means they do not want to talk to you. But, unlike a normal person, Ryan took this as a hint to pursue me even more."

The texting only increased, now interspersed with cheesy love notes to her. "All that I am, all that I do, and all that I see is brighter and more beautiful because of my feelings for you."

So not only was Ryan a stalker, but apparently he worked at Mable's Gift and Card Shoppe. Sure stalking is bad, but copyright infringement? Fucking inexcusable!

Kelly continues.

"It was only mid-January and my birthday was not for another month, and he randomly sent me one text that said, "Hey Kelly. I am going to the store. Is there anything I can get you for your birthday?" My friend tried to convince me to milk him for all he was worth, but I knew that leading on an extreme creepo is probably the worst idea ever. Once again, I ignored it. I even blocked him on Myspace to give him even more of a hint."

Then came her birthday.

As usual Kelly got a text from Ryan that morning, but today it was something new.

"I have a surprise for you today!"

Kelly thought it was just another ruse to get her to respond, so she ignored the text. When she got home from school, there was a note on her door from a local florist. They had attempted to deliver some flowers to her home address.

From Ryan.

Now Kelly was scared. Really fucking scared.

This guy, who had bought her beer one time, and to whom she hadn't responded to despite over a month of texts and phone calls, had finally figured out her home address.

Her phone rang every five minutes throughout the night, interspersed with text messages. Kelly wanted to confront him, but was too terrified to acknowledge his existence.

The next day, her home phone rang and she answered it because Ryan didn't have her home phone number. But, of course, it was Ryan. She hung up and called her brother. Her brother called Ryan back and warned him in no uncertain terms to never ever fucking contact his sister again. And surprisingly, it actually worked. The non-stop onslaught of calls and texts stopped.

But the story doesn't.

Kelly mentioned the next week on her Facebook page that she had gotten rid of her stalker. One of her friends responded "Is your stalker named Ryan?" Yes it was.

Ryan had been contacting all Kelly's friends, telling them he was her new boyfriend and trying to mine information about her. They all smelled a rat (no offense to rats) and refused to tell him anything.

Then Kelly got a message and a new friend request from a strange girl named "Summer" on MySpace. "I'm new to Idaho. Looking for friends!"

Kelly checked out the new account profile, and discovered only one picture and a profile written almost exactly like Ryan's profile. She denied the friend request, only to find a new message the next morning. From "Summer."

"Hello, my name is Summer.

I gota talk to you bout something. My bestie guy friend is Ryan, the same dude the sent you flowers. I was with him that day, when he bought them, that’s how I know this. I’m curious to know why you thought he was a stalker, or creeper, or whatever you thought of him. Whatever you say stay between us. The only reason I’m sending this to you, because I care about my friends, as I’m sure you do also. Whatever wrong impressions you have of him, please don’t take at face value, he’s a good guy once you understand him the way I do. Hopefully No hard feeling towards me for sending this."


Kelly adds, "I knew 100% it was him, but just to be certain I went on "her" profile and looked to see if they were friends on Myspace. Nope..plus her profile claimed she has JUST moved here from Oregon and didnt know anyone. Mmmkkk but your best friends with him..uuhh huhh sure."

Kelly had had enough, and was so enraged she finally decided to write him a little love note of her own.

"I'M NOT FUCKING RETARDED. I KNOW THIS IS RYAN. WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM? I TALKED TO YOU ONE TIME IN PERSON FOR 2 MINUTES AND I'VE BEEN IGNORING YOU FOR THE PAST FEW WEEKS...CANT YOU TAKE A HINT? LETS JUST MAKE IT CLEAR..YOU ARE A FUCKING PSYCHOTIC CREEP AND I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. YOU CREEP ME OUT. DO NOT CONTACT ME AGAIN OR I SWEAR I WILL HAVE TO COPS OUT TO YOUR HOUSE IN A MATTER OF MINUTES. GET A LIFE YOU FREAK.

OH, AND LEAVE MY FUCKING FRIENDS ALONE AND STOP TRYING TO ADD THEM WITH YOUR FAKE PROFILE YOU PEDOPHILE. YOUR 23..GO MAKE FRIENDS WITH PEOPLE YOUR OWN AGE."

Ryan hasn't contacted her since.

It took a gallon of goddamn bitch to stop the motherfucker, but it stopped him.

And PLFM would like to add... ... be careful Kelly.

124 comments:

  1. OMG!!! What a complete loser Ryan is. I had a friend give a strange guy my number once (no longer friends with that person for doing that either) he sounds almost like this creep. The first day he called me 3 times, second day - 3 times, for 5 days this creep called me 3 times a day, I would never answer or call back finally the last time he started cussing me out on the message he left, he left them every time he called, you would think that was the end of it. Hell no!! I drive truck and so did he, which is how he saw me and started asking about me and dumbass friend says I know her here's her number. Anyways I was talking with the security guard at the pier and guess who pulls up...yep Stalker Stanley!! He interupts my conversation jumps up on my truck and then informs me that I should go out with him, of course I reply "I'm not wanting to date anyone so I don't think so", yes he mentions it SEVERAL more times that I should and also asks why I don't return his calls or answer his. I reply "if I don't know the number I don't answer", of course he then tells me "well know you know me so you can answer it". This guy is so stupid he even says to me, "do you not answer your phone or do you just not answer it when I call..I think you just don't answer your phone" OMG you're kidding right??? No that's not the end of it I had the *pleasure* of dealing with his dumbass several more times. As for ex-friend..he has a mutual friend call me (I won't take his calls anymore either after all this) while he's on the other line then that ass precends to tell me I need quit being a bitch and to take one for the team!! To keep this halfway "G" rated I basically told him what he could do to himself and he could take one for the team and hung up. He decided to show up at my house and ask my daugher to please have me call him...uummm NO!!

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  2. Something seriously wrong with these motherfuckers.

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  3. Jesus Christ. And people ask why I deleted my Myspace.

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  4. I sincerely hope she is going to be okay - and that he gets some help before he does it again. That's the kind of guy who is going to end up being the instigator in a very, very abusive relationship.

    Kelly, make sure to surround yourself with friends who will thwart this fucker if he tries to come anywhere near you or those close to you.

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  5. Holy. Shit. That is TERRIFYING. Maybe it's just me, but I would have never asked creepy stalker man to buy me beer, no matter how hard up my friends were for booze. You are a far, far braver girl than I, Kelly.

    Kudos on busting out the bitchy at the end there, though. Let's hope the fucker has slunk back into whatever hole he came from.

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  6. Jesus, I would have called the cops the second I found out that he knew my home address. Stalking someone underage... YIKES. The saddest part is there are so many freaks out there that most women will either go through something like this, or have a friend who goes through something like this.

    Stay safe, ladies. If a guy is freaking you out like this, call the cops. The law is on our side with stuff like this. Kelly is lucky this guy didn't have a violent streak on top of his mean streak.

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  7. *violent streak on top of his creepy streak, that is.

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  8. So creepy. Seriously, I never ever needed beer that badly, ever. And why do women lie to men about why they don't want to go out with them? Here's the first thing I think a psycho stalker would think after the object of their affection tells him that her parents won't let them date: "Hm.. So if her parents weren't around, she'd date me.. how can i get rid of those parents?"

    *shudder* glad it appears you've gotten rid of him

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  9. I've had a similar experience where a friend gave some online creeper my real name and address. I only chatted with him a few times online and haven't spoken to him in about five years and STILL every couple months, he'll try to contact me. He makes fake accounts to add me on facebook, msn, etc. and then starts threatening me when I ignore it. People are fucked up.

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  10. Not having a Facebook or MySpace or any other social networking thing is something of a relief, but still have to beware of stuff that goes down in forums. You might think you really know someone and then...reality check.

    I'm all but extricated now if not for the occasional feeble attempts to contact me.

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  11. I refuse to have Facebook or MySpace accounts. Why in the world would anyone put private information online. I have very limited info online due to the company I have in order to build trust with clients, but even now I wonder of the value of that. Before blogs existed, I made a running news list, now I'm not sure if even that was a good idea. It works to keep people coming back, but I wonder what inforamtion on there could be abused. However, when I delete it as we own the server it is on, I know it is really gone (unless the www has cached it somewhere, but usually that isn't complete).

    But, to fill out accurate birthdays, preferences and names, and other information on a website you do not own is asking for data abuse, not to mention exposing yourself to criminals and the psycologically disturbed. Of course, big business is happy for your to innocently hand over all your private data to them to use as they like.

    Think about your private data as you would your own private parts.

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  12. I have to wonder... Why did she give out her phone number in the first place?

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  13. Gotta make a correction...

    This is "Kelly" (real name withheld)..I did not give my number to him in the first place. I myspaced him that night to ask but did not include my phone number. I never bothered to get back on and see if he replyed because my friends and I decided to go out to dinner instead. While I was driving to the restaurant, I got a call on my cell from a number that I didnt know..it was him. I dont know how he got it (I dont have it posted anywhere on my page and never gave it to him). Trust me..I wasn't dumb/desperate enough to do that

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  14. Oh, and the whole sending flowers to my house incident happened a few weeks before my bday..along with how he was sending messages to my friends telling them he was planning a surprise birthday party for me

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  15. kelly, good for you. the internet can be scary for anybody at ANY age. I'm 26 and still get stalkers.

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  16. Yah, seriously makes me glad I have only facebook and livejournal, and the latter has very little personal info worth looking at. THe former has the privacy settings set tighter than a pair of lycra shorts on a cow.

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  17. Holy. Crap.
    This guy is on a whole level beyond PFLM. Fucking scary.

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  18. *deletes MySpace account*
    Fuckin creep

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  19. He probably thinks he's one of those poor "nice guys finish last" types. He had himself believing that he was such a gent for jumping through hoops etc to do all these "nice things" for Kelly like take her to dinner, birthday stuff, etc. Whatever social skills that clue someone in on what a mutual back-and-forth relationship is, he clearly lacks. This sounds like it could have been a situation where he just "loves you so much" that he had no choice but to kidnap you and chop your body into little pieces.

    Also worth mentioning- Myspace etc is a facilitator for these kinds of "relationships" but they will still find targets the good old fashioned way. Social networking isn't an invitation to inappropriate stalking, just as a lack of online personal info doesn't mean you can't be victimized.

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  20. Ryan? ITT Tech Ryan? I know him, and he is a really great guy! He told me all about you, Kelly, and I... I mean he... really loves you! He wouldn't have sent text message after text message until my thumbs, I mean... his thumbs... bled and bled and bled. I hope this doesn't sound weird coming from a complete stranger, but I can personally tell you that he is just fantastic in bed! I swear he doesn't cry after sex anymore, and I've stopped, umm... he's stopped calling girls "mommy" while climaxing.

    Just give him a chance! Please? Please? Please? Please? .... Please? Please? Please?

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  21. that's sooooo scary... I would rather have just shown up to the party w/o beer than had to deal with this shit for months

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  23. I occasionally get messages from people on MySpace from people I don't know wanting to hook up. I ignore them. I even got one from a girl a couple of weeks ago despite my profile clearly stating that I am straight. The really strange thing is that I don't have any pics of myself on my MySpace. My profile pic is of Peyton and Eli Manning. Maybe these guys are just interested in a woman who likes football.

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  24. I totally have a MySpace stalker, remind me all to tell you about it someday.

    It's a great story, honest.

    *twiddle thumbs*.

    So... least it's not stonin'.

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  25. If I were Kelly, I would have contacted the police a long time previous to when she threatened to. You don't have to do it on your own. Really.

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  26. How old is Kelly? There is alcohol 'underage', then there is voting underage.

    @Anonymous:[...]I would have never asked creepy stalker man to buy me beer, no matter how hard up my friends were for booze. You are a far, far braver girl than I, Kelly.

    What world do you come from that calls single-sidedly abusing a person's time and attention in desperation for alcohol 'bravery'? The article plainly indicates she asked him for a favor while planning never to return it or pay him the courtesy of a respectable individual. Bravery suggests virtue and there is no human virtue in this. It doesn't even say she mindfully tells him (as an honest person would) that he's getting into something totally one-sided and he should accept nothing in return. She probably knows he misguidedly expects something from her and allows him to believe it to get her favor, which would be deceptive manipulation. Resorting to this sort of behavior to get alcohol from a dubious man is not only stupid (and low), but shows poor character and aks for trouble.

    Kudos on busting out the bitchy at the end there, though.

    Yet honesty is bitchy? No. There is a big problem when everyone acts like honesty is 'bitchy'. She should have been this honest sooner instead of make up daily excuses, teehee, I'm cute and nice like telling the truth is wrong. Then maybe the ALL-CAPS and swearing wouldn't be necessary.

    @Anonymous (different one): How paranoid you are. Enjoy that fantasy would where everyone is out to have hot sex with your personal information, because you honestly aren't that important. No one gives a shit. Really. I have lots of useless publicly available personal information online and know as long as people can't access your bank account information or whatever, there is nothing seriously damaging they can do to you beyond the scope of existing guards (law, society, physics, etc). And that is good enough. If people can seriously damage you over the internets, then you're probably doing it wrong.

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  27. I should give this link to my retard friend who's boyfriends have all been from myspace.

    Surprise. They're all fucking scumbags.

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  28. Besides Ryan being a total creeper, I have little sympathy for Kelly. You do not ask the guy who has been dropping CREEPYNESS to buy you alcohol.

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  29. I agree with the commenter above me. C'mon, Kelly; you really didn't need to drink THAT badly.

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  30. **This is "Kelly" again***

    Another correction in the story..we werent drinking beer (eww)..we were having a cocktail party and making martinis. And this makes it sound like we were desperately calling him and begging him. Uhh no, I sent him a message *without phone number* on myspace, never bothered to read it, decided to bag the party and go out to dinner instead, he calls while im driving, friends say they still want to buy it.

    This whole story is kind of twisted

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  31. It sounds like Ryan is twisted!! Like Kelly said "go find someone your own age". In my experience the older ones always seem to be the creepiest!! Stalker Stanley was probably old enough to be my dad and I'm 38 and this just happened last summer. Unfortunately for me the jerk saw me driving down the road as he was passing me so myspace had nothing to do with it in my case, just the truck with a company name on the door. I know that no one is perfect but like Kelly said she never gave him her number or told him where she lived, Mr. Creepy dude found that all out on his own. Which actually in my opinion makes that whole situation even scarier.

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  32. Good God, I love this blog. Please keep writing this. It is literally the best part of my week.

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  33. lolwut:

    Yeah right, paranoia. I've been long enough in the behind the scenes internet (server and ISP business) to know what can be done with personal data. Handing it over so authorities can abuse it is the worst, the stalker dudes are secondary. I don't hand personal data over because its mine, and knowledge is power baby, no one needs extra power over me.

    Hand yours over, all you want. That's why all those Facebook folks were up in arms lately when they found out Facebook wanted control over all data ever put up on site, forever. ;)

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  34. this is exactly why my MySpace is set to friends only, and any one I meet on FaceBook (whom I don't know in person) gets a very limited profile.

    All in all, I don't give out ANY personal info to any one I don't know VERY well and trust!

    I must say though, this is the freakiest guy I've read about on here to date!

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  35. This is the exact reason I don't like social networking sites.
    People think just because you have a profile on one that means that you want them to send you messages and be all best friends with them.

    I've had a stalker before. It was someone I had met when I was young and stupid, playing around on a chatline. I went out on a couple of dates with him, was honest and told him I just wanted to be friends and a week later, he kicked in my apartment door and jammed a gun against my forehead.
    People are fucked up.

    At least she made it out alive and without finding a dead cat nailed to her door or something.

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  36. Sorry, I would've told my friends tough luck and that the cocktail party is over. Using someone just to get you something is crappy. You message a guy you barely know, and don't even like, to ask him to do something illegal for you and don't expect him to want something in return? Even if he wasn't a total stalker freak you still would've dealt with someone who was angry at being used. I won't say you got what you deserved because he was very scary, but I hoped you learned something.

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  37. Oh for heaven's sake...like you never asked anyone to buy the booze when you were underaged...pretty much every teenager has done this and often they just pick a random person hanging out around the liquor store!

    It's buying booze, not donating a kidney. It hardly qualifies as "being used" - after all, all Ryan had to say was NO if he was concerned about it being illegal. He didn't because he was only concerned about getting into Kelly's pants. He hardly deserves sympathy.

    (I was lucky. My BFF when I was in high school was dating a 21 year old whose parents owned a liquor store. Score!)

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  38. Are you saying that I should have given him sexual favors in exchange for him using his ID to purchase something that he got reimbursed for? Just like any other person over 21, he could have said no. Its not like we put a gun to his head and made him. People ask me for favors all the time and I dont keep tally and make sure they pay me back. I dont think that is the issue here..he was a big boy and if he didnt want to do it he sure as hell didnt have to

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  39. Whoa...Dear Kelly, consider yourself lucky. That could have gotten a LOT worse. I'm just glad you're still around to tell us this story, and let people know about all the creepers that are out there.

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  40. OMG the flowers at her house sent chills up my spine. Then the pseudo friend summer.. (shiver) I have to go down a super hot coffee now. I'm freezing and disturbed.

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  41. truly and awesomely psychotic.

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  42. *shudders*. This is so creepy. Especially since Kelly is clearly young. It would be easy for us to criticise her for contacting him, but come on - we all do things we regret with hindsight. It's no excuse for what this creep put her through.

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  43. The creep-o-meter has gone so far off the scale with Ryan, I doubt we will ever get it back. But then do we want it? After he had it? And did who knows what with it?

    As I type this and hear the tip-tap-tap typing on the keyboards of everyone turning their myspace, facebook and blogger profiles to "private", I am reminded of the talk show from back in the day, long before facebook, my space and the others, where the host had the guest take a business card from a few of the audience members.

    From the business cards, the guest dug up a whole host of information on each person in less than an hour and for less then $20. Things like previous addresses, soc. sec. #, previously and currently owned cars, birthdays, mothers maiden names, phone numbers, former employers, the high shcool they attended and graduated from or didn't, college records, and the list went on.

    Less than an hour, less the $20 and all from a business card.

    With that information you can apply for credit cards in that persons name and wreak havoc on their financial outlook. Many employers not only run background checks, but credit checks too before considering an applicant for hiring. They want to know if they are going to be feilding phone calls from creditors all day or if the person is trying to dodge wage garnishments for judgements and child support.

    Kelly you're lucky you got out of this one. I'm glad you learned something from the experience. Otherwise the next time could be your last. Even still, a casual encounter could go so many ways of wrong and the key tips could be subtle and go unnoticed until its too late.

    Wheelin- I may have used the door to knock him off the trucks running boards. Then proceeded to run him over with the 9 wheels on that side!

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  44. wow Kelly, not the smartest thing you're ever done I assume.
    booze or an eternity in a shollow grave by a roadside? hmm. choices!

    you're very lucky, because this is the type of story my mom would point out and tell me NOT to do as we read about your abduction,rape and murder.

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  45. @Anonymous: Yes: paranoia. They could do lots of things, but they don't. And there are many strong reasons. Just like IRL: I and anyone around could do many horrible things to that pedestrian on the street, but we won't. Lead reason: who cares enough to want to? Secondary reason: not worth the hassle, law, penalties, time better spent, etc. That person is just not important or valuable enough.

    And here we're discussing less than that: information. And not the bank account variety either (unless you're foolish enough to put that out there). The kind of crap that has only the power you give it over you (as with most things in life). Who cares if they know my name, contact information, top 500 searches, and porn viewing habits? What is anyone going to do with that? Send me annoying mail, empty USPS boxes, pizzas I didn't order? Try to sell me things relating to narwhals, bullet ants, homological theory? Call my family, friends, coworkers and tell them I jack off to nerdporn and chicks wearing glasses? Sorry if I find this concern incredibly petty and unalarming (because it is). If any of that truly matters to you, then you're doing it all wrong.

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  46. I have a cyber "fan". I didn't give him my info; he got it from Yahoo...so I won't even sign up for an email account with my real name anymore.

    My asshat, thankfully, lives thousands of miles away - but after more than a year of endless harassment and on-line stalking, I finally got a friend who is a PI involved and she scared the crap out of him. But he's not gone - I get the occasional death threat every few months, just so I know he's still around.

    These f*ers are like herpes - you can't get rid of them.

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  47. Just to get uncharacteristically serious for a second, an Internet pal of mine had an online stalker (I think from some forum site?) travel half way across the world to where she lived, break down her door, and beat her up.

    She's pretty guarded now, to a point that would seem weird if you didn't know the story. I'm not sure that there's a moral there.

    Some percentage of people are seriously messed up and anonymity makes them brave?

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  48. Thanks Fuggs! haha I didnt think I was the only underager on the face of the planet who had someone buy alcohol for me ONCE IN A WHILE (mind you, I havent since then)

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  49. @fuglyhorse: Some of us have the integrity to treat everyone courteously or rely on trustworthy friends (like in your case). Only someone with poor integrity takes advantage of a misguided person no matter how horrible or undeserving of sympathy that person is, even if they should know better. It's not about the favor's effort(lessness), but a pretense she seemed to allow to get this favor. An especially bad idea with that kind of character.

    @Anonymous: While that would have been nice (and troubling), no one is saying that. They may be criticizing the lack of blunt and necessary communication that played a part in this thing becoming absurd.

    In light of what you wrote earlier (if that's you), my criticism is unfair and I owe you an apology: it's hard to reject an offer.

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  50. Ok, I have to say that I stopped reading this because, yes, this guy sounds psycho, but Kelly sounds lacking in the head.

    You shoulder tapped some random dude on myspace??? Hello? Asking to be murdered.

    A little common sense Kelly. Invest.

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  51. Kelly shouldn't have asked him to buy anything for her, knowing what he was like. She's young, but that's no excuse for taking advantage of a person she had no interest in. She should have been honest earlier instead of being the sort of passive girl that makes us look bad. I have my close friends buy my drinks, but she doesn't seem wise enough to have older friends so...

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  52. lolwut:

    Here you go, as if asked for a new article on tracking devices you can sign up for so everyone knows where you are.

    http://edition.cnn.com/2009/TECH/03/16/yahoo.friends.fire/index.html

    Facebook and Yahoo. Sign up for it :)

    You'd be surprised what people can do with information.

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  53. lolwut:

    You know the cheese tastes best to the mouse who just stuck his head willing in the trap.

    Welcome to the last supper :).

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  54. My own two cents from the author of PLFM:

    I thought this would be a great idea for a blog that is actually entertaining, while somewhat educational too.

    And believe me, I've gotten a lot more emails than I ever imagined I would from women saying, "Wow, it helps to see the little signs of instability."

    It does.

    You guys are free to say ANYTHING you want in the comments. But I have a small point to make here.

    For the people who read this whole story and then make a comment bagging on Kelly for being stupid just doesn't make any sense to me. I knew people would and I told Kelly as much, but seriously, WHY?

    Telling Kelly "YOU brought this on yourself!" is like blaming a rape victim for the rape.

    Kelly IS NOT under 18, she is an adult. She, like all of us, makes unwise decisions from time to time. She made an unwise decision, and in her letter, TOLD ME it was an unwise decision.

    But making an unwise decision doesn't permit someone to stalk you anymore than wearing a short skirt permits anyone to rape you.

    I'm not belittling rape, I'm just saying the circumstances are almost the same, so it just seems silly to "blame" Kelly for waht happened.

    Any guy that behaves this way has some serious mental problems and needs help. There's no fucking excuse for his behavior, and he WILL end up in jail. If it's not Kelly, it will be the next girl he latches on to.

    Kelly sent me his profile.

    I know you want to see it, but I can't show it.

    He looks normal, but at the same time doesn't.

    It's all in the eyes, ya know what I mean?

    Frankly, he's terrifying to look at when you realize what he does.

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  55. And they wonder why I don't talk to people...
    THIS kind of thing is also why my myspace and facebook profiles are private (well, I'm not sure how private facebook gets, since I never go on there, what with hating it and all, but I have whatever it is set as high as it can possibly go.)

    I've known guys in RL who were only HALF this bad and they were creepy enough! This guy's just fucking frightening! Seems like he needs some mental help.

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  56. @Weasel: The volume of comments criticizing Ryan may not be what you anticipated, because that criticism goes without saying. Everyone knows he's a horrible, obsessive stalker freak, because your entry put it so clearly.

    And I don't see people criticizing Kelly for another man's actions. They're criticizing her for her (in)actions. While we all make mistakes, doing so through unsympathetic behavior (like failing to uphold a basic standard for treating everyone decently) earns less sympathy than doing so with integrity. And your entry seemed to suggest such a lapse.

    More importantly, though, some people may not sympathize failures to observe basic precautions that show concern for one's own well-being. The real world can be risky, and from the very beginning we're told to take some basic precautions if we care about our well-being at all. Of course if someone robs you, the robber is entirely wrong for doing so. Even if you walk unprotected, decked in cash and precious, mobile things into a dark alley full of armed thugs. But since we all live in the same real world, we're entitled to ask, 'What the fuck were you thinking?' Some simple precautions could have made that not happen. Same applies with asking a sketchy, obsessive guy for a special favor. Unequivocally telling him to leave you alone by telling the truth (instead of always postponing it) is a simple, good measure.

    @Anonymous: Like send me unwanted delivery pizzas? Keep drinking the koolaide, bro. You're still not that important and I'm not impressed. Cellphones have been tracking location long before that. It's how police officers have been able to rescue some missing persons. Nothing new. It's another bit of information (requiring sign-up and permission) with the same potential for abuse if you're irresponsible and someone gives a fuck. Which returns to my point: no one cares that much about you. You're safe. But if it makes you feel important, keep pretending strangers on the internet care.

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  57. lolwut:

    HAHAHAHA....

    Like I care whether interneters think I'm important. Baby, you're a riot :) I have a life outside this box, which is why I don't need to expose my private information, or private parts, on here nor go on rants as if I were 18 about someone elses opinion or observations ;) Looks like you're the one who needs to feel important.

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  58. Kelly did not make the smartest of moves in this little story, but she seems to have learned her lesson the hard way, so why are we still telling her "you shouldn't have done this, this, or that"? I think she's figured it out by now.

    While I'm not on CONSTANT VIGILANCE on the internets (ie I like to shop at amazon.com), I'm also cautious that there are some really friggin crazy people out there. I don't give out my phone number to strangers (heck, sometimes people I'm actually friends with in person remind me that I haven't given them my number yet... I've had the same number for 6 years and I'm kind of attached to it. I don't want to have to change it because some creepster got their grubby paws on it).

    I am, however, waiting for some random girl to start stalking me because her boyfriend (my ex) broke up with her to get back together with me. Thankfully, I live halfway across the country from her but as we've learned, craziness knows no distances.

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  59. "craziness knows no distances"

    Amen

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  60. Manhattanite- Since you are far more than 'halfway across the country from me', I lol'ed when I read your comment.

    One of my ex's lives somewhat nearby your area. One of his ex's called me for the same reason you mention.

    I wish I had it on tape. It was quite amusing and I still laugh about it some 5-6 years later.

    She threatened to fly out and find me to kick my ass, over a person (her then boyfriend, my ex) I hadn't seen in over 10 years but spoke to occasionally on the phone. Our contact was- a phone call out of the blue after not hearing from him for a year or so, three or four calls in one month, then nothing for several months... another phone call, then nothing for a year or so...

    The last time I heard from him was 4 years ago. He was living in another country. Who knows where he is now.

    So yeah, I am such a threat to their relationship...

    You are right, craziness knows no distance. Boundaries either for that matter.

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  61. I'm old and boring now, but in my my teens, I did stupid things too. Yes it's a wonder I didn't wind up dead too. (this generation doesn't ahve the corner market on dangerous stalker types it's just now there is a label) The guy is older than her and probably teased her into telling him about her. It's hard for teens to think on the spot as to what answers to questions can come back and haunt her later.

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  62. Hi, Ryan here. A/S/L ladies?

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  63. I totally agree with Weasel 100%, and thank him for taking the time to offer his $0.02 defending Kelly.

    While no one hear can argue that she acted a bit foolishly at first (including her), she IN NO WAY deserved to be stalked by that ass clown! Period.

    Given the drinking age in most states, I'm going to assume she's under 21. Now how many of you can think back to that age and realize that you had a lot to learn? I for one will admit that I was very naive at that age, and often learned things the hard way (and still do). The important thing is she learned her lesson and am certain she'll be more careful in the future.

    So lets not blame the victim here - because that's clearly what she is.

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  64. We should also bear in mind that Kelly is like, 7 years old.

    Here's the first stone. You throw it.

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  65. You go, Weasel. Awesome comment. I can't say anything better than you already did, but man, the "Kelly deserved it" comments are out of control. In what universe do you all live where it's appropriate to stalk someone to such an extent because you felt they owed you a favor? This is a case where the action received an unequal reaction. She did not "deserve" to have that guy stalk her personal information and harass her friends.

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  66. Hands up everyone who thinks this guy has a good chance of being arrested sometime in the next 5 years.

    Kelly, you're one lucky person. Just try not to do anything that stupid ever again, OK? And keep that gallon of bitchery on hand in case you ever need it again.

    And thank you Ryan, for providing a lesson on how to determine if someone you know will turn into a stalker.

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  67. @Anonymous: I see you admit you're not that important on the internets after all, which makes your risk about the same as any other unimportant internet user. Therefore, your risk for stranger danger online is highly overrated much like IRL stranger danger, which the news media likes to overrate despite people still walking in public corridors fairly safely. Online dangers, moreover, pale in comparison to whatever someone could do to you IRL. Which were my points all along.

    And no one needs to rant, like you say with ALL-CAPS laughter spelled out, yet there you were. Maybe I feel compelled to contest overhyped assertions.

    @elffire78, mandoir: I just did a word search on this page (F3) and found 'deserve' only in the scope of 'not' or 'hardly' or in comments like yours complaining someone is saying she deserves this. Ie, no one is saying that.

    It's logically possible to criticize someone for their actions without implying they're responsible for anyone else's, which is what's going on here. Particularly, this article suggested she performed some actions/basic oversights counterproductive to handling this situation well (and protecting herself), which is reasonable to criticize. And she revised the story in the comments to show it didn't happen precisely that way.

    Moreover, labeling someone victim does not grant them immunity from responsibility for their own actions. That attitude can mislead people into thinking everything they did was okay or a good idea when it was possibly not. It plays a part in dangerous phenomena like victims meeting in self-help groups and giving each other bad advice when they should consult someone who does not have the problem they keep having (ie, an expert at not getting that problem). That attitude's a disservice, and you can treat people well and show them kindness and consideration without it.

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  68. I definately do not consider myself a "victim"..that word just implies too much damage. I'm not traumatized by it...I just am more careful and a little more weary of strangers.

    However, I do not think I "deserved" to be stalked. Like someone above said, stalking is not an appropriate way to get someone to pay you back for a favor. Seriously, I dont see what yall think I owed him exactly. Sex? A relationship? A pity date? I made no promises when I asked him to buy alcohol. I didnt say "Hey baby, buy me liquor and I'll be your girlfriend." We gave him the money plus a tip for his effort so I dont know exactly what other way I could have paid him back.

    I admit I have a problem with confronting people. I am one of those people that will avoid conflict at all costs. I know ignoring someone isnt the answser, but I just feel bad being upfront and telling someone they are gross and creepy and to leave me the fuck alone. I just dont like hurting peoples feelings and I thought if I ignored it it would just go away..and might I add with a normal person it would. If someone didnt respond to my texts, I would give up (after like 2 texts).

    Just because he bought me alcohol, that doesnt mean he had the right to harrass me and stalk my house. I never brought this on, as said by many posters. Sure, I myspace messaged him. Sure, that was probably a bad idea. But did I give him my phone number ever? No! Did I give him my home address? No! Did I tell him I was madly in love with him and wanted him to text me 24/7? No!

    It wasnt like I was completly reckless and naive when I asked him for alcohol. For starters, I had a slight creep feeling about him...but yall act like I knew he was a crazy stalker when I messaged him. Second, like I said many times, I never gave him my number. Third, when I met him to get alcohol (yes, I met him..I didnt blindly get in a car with him or invite him in my car) I was in my friends car with friends (not alone and in my own vehicle..which then I could see how he'd track me down). I never invited him to hang out with me or take a walk in a dark alley, so I dont think I deserved to be "raped and buried in a shallow grave in a remote area".

    I'm not saying I'm 100% innocent and did nothing wrong, but I dont think I "deserved" this or "brought it on myself". I dont think anyone can really predict that contacting someone will resort in an obsessive stalking.

    Oh, and for those who are curious..here is the link to "Summer's" profile so you can see for yourself (even though there really isnt much to see except how fake it looks). Yes, all the people who are friends with "her" are people from my high school or people from my friends list, which is why in my bitch out I told him to leave my friends alone.

    http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=439562579

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  69. I just noticed, the last login on "her" profile was a day or two after my bitch out. Not that I had any questions, but that proves even more it was a fake profile lol

    Oh, and I posted a bulliten back then I told everyone to not add "Summer" or delete "her" from their friends because it wasn't a real profile. He added two of my best friends (one of whom he was trying to contact back when he was stalking me and asking her to help him plan my surprise bday party).

    They were soooo creeped out that he was trying to access their pages. Thats what he was doing, too. He knew people wouldnt add him as a friend so he made a girls profile because he knew people would be more willing to add her and that would be an easy way to get their personal information

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  70. Lolwut: if I may, I’d like to make a few points:

    1) You keep mentioning “internets” (plural), and last time I checked there is only one. :P

    2) “Online dangers, moreover, pale in comparison to whatever someone could do to you IRL. Which were my points all along.” Really, what planet are you living on? There are TONS of internet stalkers out there which is why you can never be too careful in protecting your identity. And no, I do not believe the media is inflating that claim either. If, however, you firmly believe online stalking is not as bad as others claim, how about providing us with some good solid statistics from a reliable source?

    3) “I just did a word search on this page (F3) and found 'deserve' only in the scope of 'not' or 'hardly' or in comments like yours complaining someone is saying she deserves this. Ie, no one is saying that.” Actually, your language pretty much implies she did deserve what she got simply because she asked Ryan to buy beer for her and her friends. And nothing she did warranted that kind of behavior.

    4) “It's logically possible to criticize someone for their actions without implying they're responsible for anyone else's, which is what's going on here. Particularly, this article suggested she performed some actions/basic oversights counterproductive to handling this situation well (and protecting herself), which is reasonable to criticize. And she revised the story in the comments to show it didn't happen precisely that way.” Yes, she did revise and clarify the story – nor is she (or any one else) disputing she acted foolishly.

    5) “Moreover, labeling someone victim does not grant them immunity from responsibility for their own actions. That attitude can mislead people into thinking everything they did was okay or a good idea when it was possibly not. It plays a part in dangerous phenomena like victims meeting in self-help groups and giving each other bad advice when they should consult someone who does not have the problem they keep having (ie, an expert at not getting that problem). That attitude's a disservice, and you can treat people well and show them kindness and consideration without it.” Well, it is plainly obvious to me that Kelly is not looking for immunity from responsibility. Again, it’s clear she’s learned her lesson the hard way, so how about backing off of her? But again, she is still the victim of stalking, and such actions sure as hell DO NOT excuse Ryan’s actions! How much do you want to bed that creepy stalker guy hasn’t learned his lesson and will probably end up in jail?

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  71. to cut-n-jump I would have thought about slamming the door open on him except I was too busy trying to crawl into the passenger seat as he had his head leaning into my truck....eeewwww!!!

    As to all the "Kelly should have known better" comments...ya maybe she should have but I really doubt anyone on here can honestly say they have NEVER done anything stupid or something they should have known better before. I don't know exactly how old Kelly was when this happened nor do I care. She didn't deserve some stalker freak from hell trashing her life and her security like he did. He may not have physically harmed her but I can guarantee it does takes its toll on one emotionally and mentally as one is always wondering if, when or what the other person is going to do or just show up.

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  72. Hi Kelly! Ironically, I didn't see your last two posts until after I posted mine (lol), which further confirms my assumption that you are a smart person who learns very quickly.

    Some people on here seem to forget that Weasel's post was not meant to reflect negatively against you in any way - nor should it. And I wouldn't let the nay-sayers get you down either.

    I'm glad you don't feel like a victim from this encounter, and firmly believe you can and will move forward a much stronger and wiser person.

    I'll admit I haven't always been the most assertive person when I needed to be, but over the years I have learned to become more assertive (and even a bitch) when the situation calls for it - and I hope you now realize that it is okay to tell someone to go fuck themselves as soon as those alarm bells start ringing. ;)

    And no, there is NO excuse for that bottom-feeder's behavior! Once a stalker latches on, it's very hard to shake their obsession (if at all), so in actuality hitting him up to buy beer is almost irrelevant...

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  73. PS: I just checked out "Summer's" MySpace where it says she's 8'8" tall! So what I'd like to know is why she isn't in the Guinness Book of World Records, LMAO!!

    ...yeah, clearly a fake.

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  74. Weasel, my roommate and I have determined we have a little crush on you (te he!). No, no, it's not the save your Kleenex, add it to the Weasel shrine, obsessive stalker kind of crush, lol! :P

    We just think you seem like the kind of guy to get to know better and it's refreshing to know that there are good men like you out there putting the low-lifes in there place. :)

    Oh, and your girl friend is a VERY lucky lady! :D

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  75. lolwut = troll with small caps ;)

    I love winding people up that are easy to wind up. Whee.

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  76. Btw, CNJ.

    It's beer and popcorn time! Muhahaha.

    *wink*

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  77. Kelly: "I am one of those people that will avoid conflict at all costs. I know ignoring someone isnt the answser, "

    Actually ignoring creepy people is the answer. Unfortunately he didn't get the hint. Luckily you brewed up a tall cup of bitchy for him. :)

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  78. mr. mrs. fangfaceMarch 18, 2009 at 8:40 AM

    Yeah, Lora's right. With stalkers and other creepers with a few loose screws, you're supposed to avoid engaging them at all costs. They tend to take any response as encouragement since they're getting attention (even negative attention) from you.

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  79. wheelin126 said...
    to cut-n-jump I would have thought about slamming the door open on him except I was too busy trying to crawl into the passenger seat as he had his head leaning into my truck....eeewwww!!!
    ________________________

    Damn those electric windows. Roll it up on him and take off! LOL!

    I knew a guy stuck his head in the window of a car (trying to fight) and got punched in the face. He stuck his head back in three more times to get punched in the face, before figuring it out. Talk about RFD!


    Beer and popcorn all around...

    Busting out the blender booze too!

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  80. I knew a guy who could fly and shoot lasers from his eyes and sometimes he'd touch me in an inappropriate way in public and I'd cry I'd just cry.

    Good beer. Bad facepunch.

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  81. @elffire78: Why say 'if I may' if you're going to, anyway?

    1) On this point you are clearly mistaken. It's been called the internets or (as the Germans refer to it) das internetz ever since G. W. Bush first pluralized it. Didn't you get the memo? (Also, see meme.)

    2) Stranger danger is highly inflated, news media likes to alarm, and people like to tune in for it. They discuss it at length in a pretty accessible way here, and if you want to know more, follow their sources or ask Google--I'm not your researcher. And my experience coheres more with their skeptical view anyway: I've never had that many (alarming) problems IRL or with e-stalking and the few I did have could be handled sensibly.

    3) In regard to your point (3), see the quote in your point (4): I was and am still telling you the implication you're inferring is wrong. You're reading something into the language it does not say. By criticizing an action, I'm saying that action is a mistake. I'm not saying she deserves someone else's mistaken behavior (which is absurd). An unnecessary action is worth criticizing no matter the context if not committing it could have improved outcomes. Such things are called mistakes.

    4) I don't know where you're going with this unless to only acknowledge.

    5) No one is saying she is. I'm talking about the labeler: you were saying Weasel was defending her position (from what?), insisting she doesn't deserve stalking (like anyone said that), and telling us not to blame the victim (like anyone was). And since comments were only criticizing her actions, it looked like, by telling us not to blame the victim, you were responding to those criticisms and saying no one should criticize a victim's mistakes. If I commit a mistake in a dangerous situation, I should be criticized. And you're still discussing excusing stalking like anyone was saying mistakes can do that.

    @Anonymous: Since you're committing words to discuss me and not this debate and I discuss you only insofar as it relates to a point, it looks like you're taking this personally (ie, getting trolled).

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  82. The whole "you should have known better! *judgejudgejudge*" about the alcohol thing is silly. First of all, it's generally not 'using' a semi-stranger to get you liquor, because in my experience there's a tip involved. I've used some pretty sketchy sources before but I don't think I would do that again.
    And you're supposed to be able to talk to people on networking sites without them being freaking ridiculous stalkers. /sigh. The world sucks.

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  83. To lolwut:

    1) Sure, like we should take any thing G. W. Bush says seriously, LMAO!

    2) Penn & Teller: Bullshit! is obviously an editorial-type site where they state their OPINIONS without backing up their “facts.” Perhaps they’re right, but I’d like to see some solid unbiased statistics (say from Gallop or something). And AE is not that much different. I mean, is any of this stuff sufficiently peer-reviewed? While I applaud your efforts to back up your claim with regard to internet stalking, I cannot yet stand corrected…sorry. I will agree that *most* internet users are probably NOT the creepy stalker type, but there are still PLENTY of them out there to be wary of. In the end, I firmly believe you can never be too careful out there – and I’m sure most of us here would not like to be another online stalking statistic.

    3) “I was and am still telling you the implication you're inferring is wrong. You're reading something into the language it does not say. By criticizing an action, I'm saying that action is a mistake. I'm not saying she deserves someone else's mistaken behavior (which is absurd). An unnecessary action is worth criticizing no matter the context if not committing it could have improved outcomes. Such things are called mistakes.” Fine. Glad to see we can both agree that Kelly did not “deserve” to be stalked.

    However, if you’re wondering why I (and others) were led to believe such an implication, then perhaps it’s time I pointed to one of your earlier comments --> “What world do you come from that calls single-sidedly abusing a person's time and attention in desperation for alcohol 'bravery'? The article plainly indicates she asked him for a favor while planning never to return it or pay him the courtesy of a respectable individual. Bravery suggests virtue and there is no human virtue in this. It doesn't even say she mindfully tells him (as an honest person would) that he's getting into something totally one-sided and he should accept nothing in return.

    So basically your criticizing her for “abusing a person’s time and attention in desperation for alcohol.” No one is saying that those are “brave” actions. What’s brave is Kelly’s ability to learn from her mistakes and move forward with her life. And she did pay him back for the beer plus a monetary tip. Other than that, who cares? The guy is a creepy pathetic stalker, and she showed him plenty of courtesy for someone who clearly doesn’t deserve it. Well she *finally* did, but that’s beside the point. Most people would get the hint that someone is not interested in them as soon as that person stops responding to futile attempts at communication. But Ryan is obviously a “special” case. One can point to a few different “openings” Kelly may have unwittingly supplied in the beginning, but one must remember that an obsessive stalker doesn’t need ANY openings to persue an unwilling/uninterested individual. Besides, what Kelly did was *small* in comparison to what Ryan put her through.

    So excuse me for misunderstanding your point there lolwut, but based on what you’ve been saying, it would seem like you’re faulting Kelly for not being polite and gracious enough toward her stalker, when that is clearly beside the point.

    4) I don't know where you're going with this unless to only acknowledge. Yeah that’s pretty much it. :)

    5) No one is saying she is. I'm talking about the labeler: you were saying Weasel was defending her position (from what?), insisting she doesn't deserve stalking (like anyone said that), and telling us not to blame the victim (like anyone was). And since comments were only criticizing her actions, it looked like, by telling us not to blame the victim, you were responding to those criticisms and saying no one should criticize a victim's mistakes. If I commit a mistake in a dangerous situation, I should be criticized. And you're still discussing excusing stalking like anyone was saying mistakes can do that. When I talked about defending Kelly’s position, I clearly meant that she does not deserve the kind of criticism she’s been receiving in this blog entry. Sure, it’s all well and good to criticize mistakes if it’s clear the person hasn’t learned from them. Correct me if you think me wrong, but I always thought the reason we “criticize” is to help educate the person making said mistakes. However, why criticize someone who clearly HAS learned from her mistakes? It’s not like you’re doing her any favors. Just doesn’t make any sense to me…

    lolwut, if you want to keep this debate going further, then by all means have at it. But I think I’ve stated my opinions well enough and see no reason to restate them any further.

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  84. sorry lolwut for the lack of quotation marks in your referenced comments, but the italics feature seems to have failed me...

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  85. @elffire78: That's okay. May I suggest you lrn2'preview or delete and repost'?

    1) We certainly should not. Maybe the concept of lulz or meme is lost on you. Did you look up meme? I'll take my internets over your dirty singular internet any day. Have at you!

    2) On this you are mistaken: it's a show, not a site. And while they far from claim impartiality, they present opposing arguments and thoroughly back their conclusions by conscientiously citing reliable sources and impartial research, which you're free to look up and examine yourself to get what you asked (like I said before). But you have to watch the show (or credits) to get those citations. I even linked you to a pirated online recording. (Aside: While the Gallup brand has historically had great reputation, his analysis suggests it's not that reliable among polls.)

    3) It's not that we can agree, it's that we always were, yet you got the strange idea we did not.

    Moreover, the comment I was quoting actually was calling that brave. The commenter remarked on a difference between themselves and Kelly (they'd never perform the action Kelly did), then said she was braver than them, like that difference makes her braver. My comment is 'beside the point', because your point plays no part in explaining the non-bravery in that original story's segment. It takes no consideration of story revisions posted after my comment, because, among other reasons, I don't time travel.

    You're saying who cares about acting on a mistake (Ryan's freaky, obsessive behavior) with a mistake (Kelly's handling of the favor) while also maintaining one mistake does not excuse another mistake. I should not have to explain that position's weakness. Further, you compare the magnitudes of mistakes different people perform, talk about deserving mistakes, and discuss whether we can blame, excuse, or care about someone's mistake because of someone else's like any of that makes sense. The criticisms you're addressing (at least mine) don't go there. You also seem to interpret criticisms personally on behalf of whoever performed them when that criticism could concern an action or idea more than a person.

    I don't think we agree on what courtesy is. In fact, I wouldn't call what you're talking about courtesy. Courtesy is not token polite behavior, nice gestures, showing someone weakness/vulnerability because you fear them, or failing to perform responsible actions because you're afraid to hurt feelings. The courtesy I'm talking about has more to do with principles actions reflect: direct consideration and honesty. A decent person treats everyone decently. Whether the person deserves it doesn't matter. They do this because they're decent: they don't degrade themselves by degrading others, and they don't want the bad feedback discourteous behavior often gets (no matter how wrongfully). They do and speak honestly when it matters even when they're afraid or don't want to, because they recognize the responsibility. It's a position of strength.

    5) Criticisms serve other, broader purposes than making a person correct a mistake. Frankly, whatever a person does later or whether the mistake is even true doesn't matter, because it may not be about them. It may be about an idea that mistake illustrates (like a wrong many people fail to appreciate) or inspires (like faulty assessments others make about it) or similar actual mistakes a critic sees too often. If you read carefully, you'll see all my comments are criticisms of other comments and Kelly's person is not really the subject.

    In fact, criticisms are simple: like everything else in the world, they don't require a purpose. All a 'good' criticism requires is meticulous accuracy.

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  86. You know I just started reading this website and by far it has the best stories around.....thanks for publishing this!

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  87. Hey I want in on the booze and popcorn deal *runs grabs lawn chair for troll watch* ;)

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  88. That dude's insane, and I hope he gets the help he obviously needs, but really, Kelly deserves it.

    I mean, asking an older dude to hook you up with booze, and then pretending like he doesn't exist? Yeah right! That's worth like, a tugjob at least!

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  89. wow... THIS is precisely why I am only friends with people I actually know on Facebook/Myspace. No matter the multiple messages.

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  90. To the commenters: If you can't figure out how to use MySpace, Facebook, or the rest of the Internet without sharing private information then you are incompetent. Social networking sites are not inherently dangerous or evil. I've had plenty of people harass and online stalk me, and I know exactly how to deal with it. Don't respond, block, don't add anyone you don't know personally, filter, and only make public that information you don't mind everyone in the world knowing. It's not difficult.

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  91. P.S. lolwut is my hero.

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  92. @ lolwut: "Moreover, the comment I was quoting actually was calling that brave."

    Wow, have you never heard someone say "wow, you're doing X? You're braver than I am" NOT to indicate some Virgilian standard of amazing bravery and virtue, but as a criticism of the action?

    And while we shouldn't treat the internet as a minefield of stalkers and creeps, it's common sense to protect your own information. It IS creepy even to get a pizza randomly delivered to your door by a stalker -- once they know where you live, they could deliver a dead cat or themselves next. Why run the risk? It's not paranoia, it's being sensible. Like you said above, if you walked around carrying a huge wad of cash and took a shortcut down an alley, it would be stupid; putting your info out where anyone can find it is the same sort of crapshoot: you don't know what could possibly happen.

    The moment has passed for this debate, I realize, but reading your comments all of apiece was... interesting. LOLWUT indeed.

    ReplyDelete
  93. Why on earth would you email someone you've never met to ask them to go buy booze for you?

    Even if you do give them the money (and a "tip") why would you assume that a) they've got nothing better to do and b) they're going to be okay with you saying, "Thanks. Bye!" and then ignoring them.

    If someone goes out of their way to travel in order to buy you something, they at least deserve a little time together.

    But I'm not blaming Kelly for the stalking, I'm just saying it was rude of her in the first place.

    ReplyDelete
  94. SORRY BUT EVERYONE THIS SAYS IT ALL WHY THIS BEHAVIOR CAN HURT YOU. AS A MOM I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH!! A couple months later, Kelly made plans to go out to a party. Kelly and all her friends were underage, and desperately needed someone to hook them up with some beers. Having exhausted all her options, Kelly remembered one more option ... ... Ryan, the 23 year-old guy from MySpace. She grabbed his number, called him up, and asked him if he could arrange to buy them some beers for the night. He agrees.

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  95. DO NOT ASK STRANGERS TO DO FOR YOU THAT YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS WILL AND CANNOT.

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  96. Nothing wrong with Ryan. I totally support him. Great guy! Very persistent and straight. Buys presents. Awesome!
    And that Kelly was either dumb or most likely cunning. Why didn't she tell him at once? Huh? Maybe she WANTED all this attention? Teen girls LOOOOOOOOVE when someone who is older pays attention to them.
    And hints? Is he supposed to be telepathic or something? Hello? Or was she playing girl's favourite 'maybe' card, since telling guys off means you can't contact them ever again and ask them for benefits, while leaving things UNDETERMINED is soooooooooooo convenient, no? You can rely on a free help from guy, but don't have to pay back with your pussy. Isn't that most girls do? It is called DYNAMO.

    ReplyDelete
  97. As creepy as he is, he did stop - but her poor judgement in using him [being underage] to buy alcohol fueled this whole scenario.

    She used him. I am not implying she deserved the stalker treatment, by any means, but her desire for illegal alcohol put her in a perilous situation.

    She should, indeed, be very careful.

    ReplyDelete
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