Friday, February 13, 2009

Food Fight

Jessica writes in to PLFM:

"My roommate forwarded me this text from her psycho boyfriend.

They had some dumb fight over Facebook, which happened at least twice a week.

He de-friended her and sent her this list of things he was bingeing on, the premise being that he was pigging out and it was all her fault because she upset him.

Yes, a dude wrote this!"

What the fuck is pyslliumoat cereal?


  1. Oh gawd, I'm getting fat and bloated and it's ALL YOUR FAULT!!! Boo hoo!!!

    Geez, Weasel are you SURE a guy wrote that? Because it's waayyy too close to what those stupid teenage girls do when their boyfriends dump them.

    Is he Steve from WWHM? Y'know, the one who cries when he has sex? If he's not, he sure sounds like his pussy cousin!

  2. Is this guy a contestant on "the Biggest Loser?"

  3. Psyllium is a non-nutritive fiber that is used to help lower cholesterol. It's usually paired with whole oats.

    So I guess not only is this guy going to binge, he's going to be on the toilet a LONG time, considering he ate the whole box of cereal containing psyllium fiber.

    He's gonna be sorry for doing that, or at least his ass will be!

  4. Guessing with what Mack Truck shed light on - what psyllium fiber is, I hope the dude also took some laxatives!

    I can't believe it (but I should by now) that we got a Drama Queen boy here. The boy should shed his pull ups and grow up.

    Good grief.

  5. Yeah, if he's eating porn he's going to have a lot more to worry about than fiber. Like...DVD shards in the stomach? Or a hell of a lot of VHS tape, he'll be shitting his own little porny tapeworm.

  6. Hahaha, this one is funny. I can't imagine ever pigging out on fiber and protein when my heart is broken!

  7. Oh please. This idiot has no idea how to binge.

    Dude: Burger King. Starbucks, no skinny anything. Butter Pecan ice cream. Onion rings or blossoms from TGI Fridays. Pound Cake. Brownies. (eat the batter if you're brave) Fried fish. Pork rinds.

    Shitting yourself lifeless after eating the whole box of psyllium cereal just makes you look hilariously stupid.

  8. Terra Blues/ Mighty Bites?? - Apparently I have not watched TV commercials in awhile! LOL The Terra Blues look interesting. Personally I would prefer to binge on expensive chocolate and red wine.

    Oh, and the guy is a wimp - hopefully he shits his brains out - although it appears he already has....

  9. Ok this one is seriously funny. I agree with The Half-Assed Blog, this guy has NO idea how to binge eat. I think my reply to this would be something along the lines of Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

  10. He de-friended her!

    He showed HER!

    OMG it's a funny world we live in where that's the ultimate F-U to de-friend them on Facebook.

  11. ::sigh:: My ex-boyfriend defriended me yesterday. I'm certain he doesn't even understand the immense trauma I'm experiencing now because of it.... He even sent me a somewhat psychotic letter that I may have to send you if I didn't delete it.

    Maybe he was angry because I called him once in the middle of the night while watching How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days with my girlfriends and told him everything I had eaten that day while they laughed in the background. He probably watched the movie and realized I was trying to lose him....

  12. Psyllium is pretty much straight fiber. Is this guy some crazed anorexic guilt-tripper who is no longer full of real shit?

    I wouldn't care about most of the health food stuff he claimed to eat, unless I had bought it for myself, then I'd be a bit torqued off!

    I don't have, and don't want, a facebook. Or a myspace. Can't see much point in having friends like these...

  13. All I have to say is this guy has shit for brains and well you how that story will most likely end. LOL I wonder if I can send my cat Squirt over there for some reason he is totally fascinated with the whole flushing toilet thing and from the sounds of it there is going to be alot of it going on at his house. Who the hell eats fiber stuff to binge on?? He can't even do that right.

  14. First: I think it's really funny that this guy is such an uptight ass that he has nothing of empty nutritional value in his house so when he tries to "pull a binge" to get sympathy he is forced to down pounds of high protein, high-fiber foods that make him look like a total botch anyway. Even Moby has a box of ding-dongs somewhere in his crunchy eco-friendly house that runs on harnessed butterfly-wing energy.

    Second: Luis, I used to think you were pretty cool for being able to display your outrage at the clearly ridiculous behavior of your less-informed comrades, but lately your posts have turned bitter (read: you insinuated that rape threats were acceptable because they're only threats and broads have a problem being straight-forward with men). What's up?

  15. He's a misogynist troll, that's what's up.

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