PLFM Presents: Fucking Nutjobs

For those of you who have had the unfortunate experience of reading my other tragically offensive website Why Women Hate Men- The Blog, this little ditty is old news.

In fact, it's been traveling around the intertubes for over a year now, but reader KT sent it to me in an email the other day and I figured there is simply no way I couldn't post it up on PLFM. This, my friends, defines psychotic.

The man pictured above is one James N. Sears of Toronto, Ontario. If you're offended by his mortifying mullet and disturbing plethora of split ends, don't worry. In retrospect, those are actually his best qualities.

James goes by the moniker Dimitri the Lover and proudly offers a series of online classes teaching men how to meet, seduce and romance women. Which, as you'll find out soon enough, is quite ironic.

You see, James has some problems with women. Now, you might be asking yourself "Well, what is it? Is he shy, or is he impotent, or does he have problems maintaining long-term relationships?"

No, he has more of a problem with stalking women and, well, masturbating in their faces.

James problems began in 1986 while enlisted in the Canadian Army. After trying to force his way into the dorm room of a female officer, a military psychologist noted that Mr. Sears "had something seriously wrong with him."

A few years later, James weaseled his way into med school, where his psychiatric evaluation curiously noted that James often got drunk and high while on the job, occasionally masturbated while making "numerous random and obsessive phone calls to women", and exhibited extremely immature and narcissistic behaviors. His peers felt he was "cynical and untrustworthy."

Then they gave him a medical license. Just kidding!

No, I'm not. They actually issued him a license to practice medicine.

Nice job, Ontario. Perhaps you should take your own psychiatric evaluation.

But realizing the error of his ways, James was determined to change. And change he did, in front of several female patients. After a patient filed sexual assault charges against James, he pled guilty and left the field of medicine for good to become a consultant. A consultant offering second opinions on sexual harassment lawsuits. Ha ha ha ha, I'm kidding!

No, I'm not kidding. That's actually what he did.

Oh, Canada indeed.

Anyway, let's get to the featured entertainment, shall we?

It seems that our lovely James Sears aka "Dimitri the Lover" met a fine young woman one afternoon and she unwittingly gave him her card. James was fascinated by her beauty, and decided he must employ some of his fantastic seduction techniques to acquire a date with the lovely young woman.

So rather then spend thousands of dollars taking his courses on seducing women, why don't you just take a listen to some of his seduction techniques live and in person?

These are two of the messages James left on her answering machine. These are absolutely real.

Men, grab a pencil and a notepad and start scribbling.




If you'd like to read more about the wonderful Dimitri, you can find an article about him here on Gawker site Jezebel, and an article about him here from Eye Weekly.

If you'd like to date him, please visit here.