Friday, February 13, 2009

She Drives Me Crazy




Jeri broke up with her crazy ass boyfriend Tim a couple months ago.

To put it mildly, Tim was a little upset.

After behaving like a fucking psychopath for a couple of months, Tim realized his emotions had gotten the best of him and he decided to use a more civil approach to re-connect with Jeri.

"How about I sit down and write her a nice letter, and then ask her out to dinner?" Tim thought to himself.

Great idea, Tim.

PLFM sincerely applauds your effort. Or do we?

See if you can spot where Tim may have erred in asking Jeri out for a nice romantic dinner.

If you don't catch it the first time, read it again. You'll see it eventually.

"Hi. It's been two months since you dumped me. I know I didn't take it well at first... I thought about driving into oncoming traffic to see how many people I could take out at once, or killing myself, or killing you, or raping you. And you know I could have.

But I didn't, so really that means I've been handling this pretty well considering. I would hope that considering this you might finally come to your senses and go see a movie or something with me this weekend? Maybe a romantic dinner too if that's not too pushy."

40 comments:

  1. hmm i think i caught it on the first try !! omg scary is all i have to say.. seems to me like an invitation to death/raping!! restraining order time!

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  2. OMG, That's so nice! He's obviously such an understanding and caring guy. I'd totally go out with him after getting THIS letter and realizing the errors of my ways! By the way, I'm being scathingly sarcastic! :D

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  3. Holy carp...

    The only nice thing I could say about this if I had to try would be that at least he says he has considered the option of killing himself and only himself.

    What actually is going on in someone's brain if they can first basically say "you know I can rape you if I wanna" and then go on to say "if it isn't too pushy" about a romantic dinner? WHAT does the world look like through his eyes? Twisted, twisted.

    The humane thing here would be euthanasia. :p

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  4. I don't see anything out of the ordinary.


    For a fucking psychopath! Wow. Run Jeri. Change your name and your address. Drop this little ditty off at the police station on your way outta town.

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  5. O_o

    Oh how his sweet nothings make my overies quiver in delight...or maybe that is terror...

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  6. All aboard the crazy train... does he really think that she's going to be impressed by his self-control in not raping her?

    "So, hey, I was gonna kidnap and rape you, but you seem like a nice girl. Wanna get a drink?"

    Sheesh.

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  7. Come on. What girl hasn't totally gone for the "We can do this the romantic way, or the rapey-way" line? Anyone? Anyone?

    Danbala: Was your "holy carp" a typo? Cuz if so -- even if not -- it's my new expression..

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  8. Okay, mentioning rape whilst trying to coheres a woman back is the best way to lock herself in a chastity belt and to get away as far as she can. Talk about serious mental relapse.

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  9. duckncvr:
    Nah, intentional misspell. I'm damaged from having spent too much time on online places where anything remotely naughty, such as "crap" or "shit", will cause a post to not be posted. So, "holy carp" is usable workaround. :)

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  10. Jeri here. Glad you could use this one, Weasel. As noted, it might've been a bit too terrifying... er, that was a typo, I meant to say "subtle."

    At last report: Tim has stopped randomly appearing at the back door of my parents' house, stopped walking into my workplace pretending to be a customer, etc., because he is currently fixated on some other gal instead. See, it has a happy romantic ending after all! <3 !!!

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  11. Jeri, I am so sorry.

    Jesus Christ, some people wonder why men scare women.

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  12. danbala said "The humane thing here would be euthanasia."

    Ya with a long range shotgun so you could stay out of reaching distance.

    Oh good god!! He's not only creepy but a creeper! So just wondering if you turned down the invitation for a romantic dinner (I don't know why anyone would turn that down) then are the above listed your alternatives?? What a complete and utter psychopath piece of crap!! I feel sorry for the "new" gal she has no idea but soon will.

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  13. To avoid setting him off, I gave him a very careful "It's not you, it's me, I shouldn't go out with you. You should move on and find someone who deserves you." answer.

    I can't imagine anybody deserving him though!

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  14. Oh god. I wonder if he's the guy I met online and exchanged emails with who was surprised I didn't want to meet him in person. After all, he only wanted me to read and edit his novel about hundreds of ways to rape, torture and kill women that he thought up after his ex-wife left him.

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  15. damned fallacy said "After all, he only wanted me to read and edit his novel about hundreds of ways to rape, torture and kill women that he thought up after his ex-wife left him."

    Hell now there is an invitation that no one could turn down.

    to battyjeri...I don't blame you not wanting to set his warped ass off I wouldn't either. He just can't figure out why no one wants him he is such a GOOD CATCH!! Psycho freak from hell!!

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  16. Yikes, DF, that fella sounds like a real charmer. That probably means there's two of them in the world... eeee...

    Wheelin, yeah, exactly. With someone as stalker-ish as Tim here, there's a fine (nonexistent?) line between not setting him off, vs. encouraging him to continue (since he'd take anything at all as encouragement...)

    So basically I had to be very firm with the "No. No I won't be going out with you again. No. Move on. Really. No." without actually saying "ZOMG U R TEH SOCIOPATHIC KILLRAR, HALP HALP."

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  17. so i wonder where they went for dinner?

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  18. Good God, Jeri - have you reported him for stalking?? I can understand any reluctance, I really can - but DAMN. He's bat-shit crazy.

    It's these kind of freaks that inspired me to take a concealed carry class.

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  19. This guy sounds like my ex. He stalked me for over a year after we broke up. The letters took on the same kind of tone as this little gem around the 4 month point. Seriously, report him to the police.

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  20. Who dates these guys, and why?

    Acting 'polite' and sugar-coating your words isn't serving anyone. People benefit from unadulterated doses of reality.

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  21. Yeah Luis, I guess I'd have been better telling him off seeing as how he was following me around with a gun. I'll keep that tactic in mind for NEXT time. ;)

    I wasn't trying to be polite, just trying to live.

    Weasel makes this sound recent but actually it was a long time ago. I tried reporting to the police but they advised me to not officially report anything or try to get a restraining order or anything (?!) on the same "don't set him off" theory.

    I think if this happened nowadays they would handle it differently and not dodge paperwork. People take stalking much more seriously now.

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  22. Wow, I can't believe the police told you that. Never mind "don't set him off" - he needed a clear message that he was doing something wrong. That's the problem with stalkers - they often genuinely don't think there is anything wrong with what they're doing. I'm glad you're out of that now.

    And yes, stalking is taken much more seriously now (at least in the UK - are you in the US?). When I went to the police they told me that, a couple of years ago they probably couldn't have done anything about my stalker as he'd never actually been violent towards me. With the law as it currently is, they said I could have reported him to the police after the first time I'd told him not to contact me again and he had. Made me feel a bit stupid for waiting a year to do anything about it! He got an official caution, and was told that if he made any attempt to contact me or my family in any way, he'd be arrested. I haven't heard from him since.

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  23. Wow, that's just... wow.

    I think the police actually had a good point about not getting a restraining order to avoid setting him off. So many rapes, assaults and murders of ex wives and girlfriends happen in the few days after a restraining order is issued. Thank god he didn't hurt you, Jeri!

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  24. Neuroticism is often show and not real (on behalf of guys, anyway). Unless the guy has a history of behaving violently (has he been slapping you around or abusing animals? if so, where was your judgment when you decided to date him?) or something is impairing his usual judgment (eg, he's drunk), it's irrational to expect him to act violently just for informing him how the situation stands.

    However, abusing someone's intelligence with a mystifying (and insincere) statement like "It's not you, it's me" can provoke violent people to rage and act violently (if they perceive insult), or accept your statement at face value (if they don't).

    Whoever accepts your statement at face value can reasonably believe "Aww, she thinks there is something wrong with herself. She'll come back when she's over it." because you actually said the first part and did not clearly state your intentions.

    Either way, the communication fails and you invite this kind of nonsense. If you really want to deliver this message nicely, try saying something like, "Good new: your commitment to me is over. You're free. I'm not your girlfriend anymore, and I don't want to be your girlfriend anymore. Go pork some hot bitch in the ass and celebrate. Bye." Put a positive spin without losing clarity. And assert yourself. Don't let others easily intimidate you. Bye.

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  25. ".... oh, and I'd like a side order of rape, too please." (smile) "Thank you!" (hands over the menu of dangerous psychotics)

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  26. Luis - are you fucking kidding me?!? "...you invite this kind of nonsense" - oh FUCK NO.

    NO ONE "invites" rape threats. This guy is a seriously deranged individual and I don't give a damn if Jeri had been screwing another guy in the psycho's bed - NOTHING merits a threat of rape. (No offense intended, Jeri - just trying to make a point)

    FFS have all men gone totally insane?!?

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  27. Luis- YOU ARE A ASS!!!
    NO women 'invites' rape threats
    You sound just like people who says that women who dress provocatively ask to get raped!

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  28. NO U: it's one thing to say you're capable of doing atrocities--like 'I'm capable of ordering the extermination of 6 million Jews, marrying my cousin, and shooting myself in the brain'--and it's another to offer to do so. When you don't deliver a person a clear message to leave and that their chances are over, you effectively leave the door open for them and every unwanted thing about their presence to linger. If you don't do something as simple as unequivocally tell a person to GTFO and their continued presence is unwanted, yet complain they linger, then YOU FAIL. It doesn't help to let intimidation decide your actions, either.

    ShadowedStorm: YHBT. Strawman fallacy.

    Also, LOL RAEP.

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  29. I think while Luis' argument might be poorly worded... he does have some slight percentage of a point in there.

    It's not a case of her 'inviting' threats... it's that the response was also likely to cause potential trouble. It's dangerous because it's a misleading response, and for someone who's truly dangerous the misleading response is also dangerous.

    Seriously... that letter is in and of itself a threat of bodily harm... people really need to protect themselves by pushing forward with making a legal issue out of these cases.

    This is *not* someone who it serves anyone best by throwing them back into the dating pool.

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  30. Well, i'm no dating expert, but usually when you want to ask someone on a date, you usually don't include death or rape threats. It isn't very appealing.

    "See, I COULD have raped you, but I didn't! that means i'm doing a good job! so date me, bitch."

    Unless she's nuts, on speed or some other heavy drug, she isn't going to take you up on that offer.

    someone has some cognitive functioning issues .. among many, many others.

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  31. Why sure, Tim. Thank your for not raping me. Really looking forward to the romantic dinner. Pushy? Not at ALL. No, this is completely normal.

    WTF.

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  32. Just got back to this thread, incredibly late. Luis, you say "it's irrational to expect him to act violently just for informing him how the situation stands."

    Yes, you're right, I clearly had NO reason to expect violence with him standing there waving a gun around while screaming, writing me messages like the one in the original post, etc.

    And apparently, me breaking up with him and repeatedly telling him it's over doesn't qualify as "just informing him how the situation stands". Apparently I also have to explicitly tell him he's a scary psychopath?

    It's all so clear now! Silly me!

    Now if you'd please clarify, what are his obligations in this situation? He already "informed me how the situation stands" so... hmmm... would your standard of reasonable human communication include some policy on the threats?

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  33. That female dog should be glad for his endless generosity and good stance towards her.
    -Abdullah the Gut Slasher

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  34. I know I have discovered this thread late, but Luis advises putting a positive spin on it by saying "You're free! Go pork some hot bitch in the ass and celebrate!"

    Sounds good if you haven't been there. With this type of guy, you know what the answer to that is? "Oh, so YOU can go pork other guys, nice try"

    I have been there and concluded the best approach is convince them you are not a prize after all. I told mine I was going home to live with my parents in Alabama. Since to him Alabama=undesirable and beneath him, it worked. He didn't think I was out there "besting" him.

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  35. pretty psychotic. however, such emotions are real. a man's jealousy over a woman he loves cannot be underrated. though his threats are pretty psychotic, he'd never actually go through with them. he merely wants to induce fear in the woman. with his self-esteem destroyed, he is trying desperately for the woman to respect him again at any cost, even if it means her being terrified of him. but still, this kind of emotional instability is pretty dangerous and the woman should stay away from him.

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  36. Geeze Luis- he may not have been abusive in the beginning, but have you ever heard the phrases-

    It only takes once?

    There's a first time for everything?

    So he hasn't raped or killed anyone. Yet. Care to be the one to help him change that? Go ahead. Use the victim card. Then maybe we will no longer see you posting here.

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