Thursday, February 26, 2009

Six Years Motherfuckers!

LS writes in with a peculiar Facebook exchange she had recently with someone she had completely forgotten about. His name was Alex, and apparently he hadn't forgotten about her, and he wanted to let her know it.

Because that shit she pulled at the Junior Prom six years ago was un-fucking-believeable! That's right, six years ago! It's been hanging on him for six long horrible years!

It all started innocently enough when LS filled out a roving Facebook questionnaire that contained some random question about "the prom." She just filled it out and thought nothing of it.


She gets a strange email on her Facebook page.

From Alex, the guy that took her to the prom.

And not even the real prom. The Junior Prom.

Like that even fucking counts.

Anyway, she hadn't even talked to him since... well, ... the end of Junior Prom.

Did I mention it was six years ago? And they're 23 now?

Here's the odd exchange:


Reading your note brought to mind something that's puzzled me for a while
(Ed Note: Six years!), and you probably explained it at the time, but when you were anxious to split at prom why did you still insist on a couples' portrait? were your folks paying for it?


A) I don't recall being anxious to leave at Junior prom, but then again, I honestly remember hardly anything from that prom.
B) Was the portrait optional even? Doesn't everyone get those? I have no idea who paid for it.


Well, you weren't so much anxious to leave prom as you were to avoid me. You were finding fault with my park job and right after dinner concluded, you kept your distance. That all wouldn't have seemed so strange if when we got in the door you didn't insist on buying a portrait (you paid for it). Not everyone opted for one, and we were a pretty contentious pair.

It makes sense if it seemed necessary. It just confused me at the time.


Do you always spend six years brooding over a girl who was inconsiderate to you when she was 16?


That's an interesting idea. Why, you never asked someone why they did something puzzling? I included the details because you said that you hardly remember anything. Maybe it's weird because we rarely talk.

Ed Note: They never talk.)

Me: No, no I haven't.

BP: Well, I hope you find an occasion to.

Jesus, Alex.

Get out much?


  1. Wow...I wonder if he also contacted that girl in the hallway that didn't say "Hi" in 9th grade and asked her why she was so rude?

  2. You know, people who hated high school hold on to grudges like they're going out of style. I went out with a guy once who, in his early 30s, was still so angry about the (perceived) wrongs that had been done against him in high school that he would rave for an hour if I let him, about how he was going to go back and punch so and so in the face. It was cute for all of half a second until I realised that this rage was not only genuine, it was absorbing his whole life. I dumped him after just a couple of weeks and he was really surprised when I told him it was because of his anger issues.

    Some people just can't let go. If I held grudges against all the little teenyboppers that had "wronged" me in high school I'd have ulcers on my ulcers. It's a mere five years of your entire life, dude; get over it.

  3. Wow, now thats a long time to hold a grudge, I take it he doesn't get out much if something that happened six years ago eats at him so much.

  4. Y'know, I HATED high school. I was smart, fat, and wore glasses. In other words, a punching bag for all the Miss Teen Princesses.

    However, all that did was solify my resolve to make something of myself out in the real world.

    I feel sorry for a lot of those women now, because they're stuck reliving their glory days, while I'm still out having fun.

  5. Sorry, the word should be "solidify". Duh!

  6. LMAO!! I love the part where she asks him if he gets out much...pricless!! Alex has some issues I guess that he couldn't get over something like that in 6 years. I remember my date (and boyfriend at the time) for senior prom was an ass but if I were to see him today hell I probably wouldn't even recognize him but if I did I would most likely keep on a walking and wouldn't even waste my time with him.

  7. Doesn't really sound like he's carrying a grudge. He was just wondering something, something that stuck with him a little. Honestly, the girl in this also kind of sounds like a douche.

  8. Kusonaga, that didn't stick with him a "little", it's obvious he obsessed over it for the past 6 years.

    Teenagers, especially if they're physically attractive, tend to be self centered and quite capable of being cruel. Hopefully, once everyone gets older, they outgrow it.

    He actually had to LOOK her up to find her Facebook to whine about something that happened 6 years ago, and you don't find that kind of stalkerish?

  9. A high school "friend" and I fought over this particular boy to take to the prom. And I "won" (using the term loosely).

    After prom, a bunch of us had a hotel room that we went back to, where the party began. He tried to pin me down and have his way. I kicked him in the balls and walked home in the middle of the night.

    The next day he starts dating my "friend". They get married because she gets pregnant.

    Years later I see them out and about. She looks like she's 40 (ridden hard and put away wet too many times), and he's an out-of-work alcoholic.

    Thank god, I survived my teens and found someone worth-while. Just makes me laugh every time I think about it though

  10. Even if he can read the note, that means they're friends on Facebook. The way it looks to me, he reads the note and thinks, hey, what the double-u-tee was up with that anyway? He's all politeness until she replies with: "Do you always spend six years brooding over a girl who was inconsiderate to you when she was 16?"

    I'm sorry, but he doesn't all that bad here.

  11. That should be: he doesn't sound all that bad here.

  12. I had a boyfriend that I dated EIGHT YEARS ago in college find me on Facebook. He told me he still thought of me all the time, blah, blah, blah and how he hasn't dated anyone since me. We only dated for a couple of months and it wasn't serious at all. I guess some guys just don't move on...

  13. I see nothing psychotic about this letter: he simply poses a random question. None of his diction or phrasing suggests vindictiveness. All I see is an unprovoked ad hominem attack. If anyone lacks common courtesy or has issues with the discussion here, it's LS.

  14. Weasel, you didn't finish changing the names.. check the last set for "me" and "BP"

  15. Yeah, well. I'm still not over that bitch who broke my pencil in 1st grade. AND THEN LAUGHED ABOUT IT WITH HER FRIENDS.

    She turns up on Facebook and I'm going to become a superhacker just so I can unleash a gigantic drone army of DEATH on her sorry pencil-breaking ass.

    Yes this means you, Amelia, WHEREVER YOU ARE.

  16. Look,it's this simple: MOVE ON.

    It's high school! Everybody was rude and everybody was overly emotional and took things more seriously than they deserved to be taken.

    Get over it, Alex!

  17. Wow! That's kinda funny, but like someone else posted- stalkerish too.

    I had a boyfriend in HS. Met him in 9th grade on the bus during the road trip of an FFA function. Mistaken Identity and I let him have it.

    A year later, having forgotten all about him- I end up seated across the classroom from him. He starts up a friendly conversation, we chat for a while and he drops the bomb.

    "Do you remember riping me a new one on the bus on the trip home from XXXXXXX?"



    We laughed about it and ended up dating for some time. He was a bit sensitive and too clingy so things didnt work out, but we remained friends for some time even after the final 'break'.

    He's married now, has two kids and lives not far from my Moms house.

    So some of them can and do get over it.

    On a side note though- my name is not to be spoken in their house because of the torch he carried for me. So maybe he never really did get over it?

  18. OMG! I'm going to have to say that he is a polite young man with stalker tendencies, who has issues with women, high school, and holding on to things for too long. But, at least he's polite right?

    On a side note...if I was LS I would remove him as a friend on facebook....just in case he's not as polite a stalker as he seems!

  19. What's so confusing about why she wanted a prom picture? It was the prom! doesn't sound like she did anything horrific, a la Carrie, or even most of the High School movies out there. Seems like she was just not super clingy. And did he just ask her who payed for the picture and then tell her that she did? Cuz...that's weird.
    Damn, now this is gonna bother me for the next six years!

  20. To the guys who insist that this guy isn't unusual for asking her detailed questions about her motivations at their junior prom six years before--do you recall stupid little details about things that happened to you six years ago? This girl doesn't remember being eager to leave the prom, but "Alex" remembers it for her--he accuses her of not only wanting to leave early but of wanting a prom portrait despite it, and wants to know why she wanted the portrait--more rudely he wonders if her parents had paid for it, implying that that's the only reason she wanted it done.

    If I remembered anything about my prom other than the fabulous dress I got to wear, I'd be surprised (granted, it's been more than six years for me). But even so, if I'd obsessed about someone's minor actions for six years, there would in fact be something wrong in that.

    No, he didn't get particularly crazy on her in Facebook; but obsession is obsession, whether or not you act it out in slasher-movie fashion.

  21. He seems to remember the details a little *too* well for this to be a case of asking a question that was never answered. I dated a guy in my junior year of high school who turned out to be an unreliable jerk and dating him killed my chances with the guy I infinitely preferred (long story) and he generally just jerked me around. Like millions of other heartbroken teenage females, I threw out all of his stuff, complained to my friends, and moved on because there were guys out there so much more worthy and deserving of me. When I ran into one of his high school friends last year (we went to different schools), we laughed about what a small world it is, I asked how Mr. Jerk was, and meant it when I said I hoped he and his wife were happy.

  22. I've laughed at the psychosis of just about every letter posted on here, but this case seems pretty borderline. It sounds to me like LS was kind of a bitch in high school, and she's still kind of a bitch. Alex needs to stop "wondering" about things from high school, because they don't matter, and obviously he's more hung up on them than he should be. But I'm sorry, nothing in this exchange screams "psycho" like so many of the other letters on here.

  23. @Tom - while the title of the blog is "Psychotic Letters From Men", the subtitle is "The Psychotic. The Pathetic. The Bizarre". They don't all have to be psycho :D

  24. No. But they DO all have to be INTERESTING.

  25. I see hasty, unfounded judgments here indicating an absence of charitable thought. Are they all based on flimsy intuitive appeals?

    I can't believe I have to explain this to people, but memory isn't rational and people don't control what they remember, plus they often recall things randomly. I remember my birthday party at Showbiz Pizza and the soft, delicious whipping cream the birthday cake had. Does that mean I stalk and obsess about Chuck E. Cheese?

    Some memories stick when they're particularly pleasant or unpleasant. He may have found his experience with LS unpleasant enough, and therefore 'significant' enough to remember.

    Whatever the cause, there is nothing odd about remembering it. And there is nothing odd about supplying details you remember when someone claims they do not after you ask them something: it's a common move in typical conversation.

    @Katrina: Asking someone whether your parents paid for a teenage photo is rude? If someone asked me that as he had, I wouldn't be offended. I just don't see it.

    They only unexpected part of this exchange is that he asks his question at all. But it's only that: unexpected. People say and do unexpected things all the time, and, while I find it odd, I don't get in the habit of judging them negatively for it. In fact, I try to encourage it: unexpected things often lead somewhere interesting and entertaining.

    He's inoffensive throughout the exchange. I would have treated him normally and probably forgotten it, not sent it here. That anyone sent it here suggests they thought this insignificant exchange was notably bad enough to deserve a place here: I would consider that person odd and probably harboring issues over this.

  26. I also see this one as pretty inoffensive. The part that I want to know about more is what that "roving facebook questionaire" question was. The answer could have been something that reminded Alex of of something during the Prom that confused him and he decided to ask her.

    Also, I don't see how sending someone a facebook message is 'OMG Stalker!!!1!'. It was a pretty harmless question over a pretty harmless medium. I'd bet money that she had him as a facebook friend.

  27. @Luis - if, six years later, you found the waiter that served your cake, and started asking him details about your party, I'd think that was pretty weird. What you remember is one thing--what you bring up to other people is entirely another. I remember the red balloon my mother gave me for my first birthday, but I don't question her about why it wasn't a blue one, even though we both prefer blue.

    Asking whether or not her parents had paid for the photo isn't the rude part; his attitude and his accusatory tone are rude.

    If the guy had been upset by the girl's behaviour in high school, that was the time to bring it up. He hasn't attempted to contact her in six years until conveniently he came across her on Facebook--so it seems to me that he's been sitting around obsessing about it for six years, else it wouldn't be among the first things he brought up to her. That kind of obsessive thought is what makes people cry "stalker".

    It doesn't matter if she friended him on Facebook; that doesn't give him license to give her the third degree on her high school choices. As she pointed out--"Do you always spend six years brooding over a girl who was inconsiderate to you when she was 16?" Teenagers aren't always number one when it comes to etiquette, but one hopes they outgrow it once they get to college or out into the real world. One hopes, anyway.

  28. Katrina - LS clearly hasn't outgrown her tendency to be inconsiderate. The guy was politely asking a question... if she found the question inappropriate, she could say it seemed weird without insinuating that he was an obsessed stalker; something he gave no outward indication of.

  29. I'm gonna have to side with the male party on this one. I remember some pretty weird shit...I mean, it's possible that he hasn't put much thought to prom in a while, but there's 100 different ways he could've come across her facebook..."people you may know" being among them...It's a little out of the ordinary that he'd ask about it, but, I wouldn't really consider it broody or obsessive...The survey thing probably sparked a memory. I'm sure her prom behavior was important at the time...thus..when he associates her with prom, that's what he'd come up with. I'm a little disappointed with this particular post...but the one before it MORE than makes up for it...=]

  30. I can't believe you're all making excuses for this clearly psychopathic individual. Stockholm syndrome or guilt?

  31. This isn't a guy saying "Hey, seeing you on facebook sparked a memory, any comments?" Even if you're polite about it, asking someone you haven't spoken to in years "So, you were an asshole to me a long time ago. Care to defend yourself?" isn't just an innocuous comment. There's no "Hey, it's been a while, how are you doing?" in his post, just an accusation. The details he included when she didn't remember were entirely him complaining about her behavior. This isn't something you say unless you still care on some level (Chances are, his current love life is going poorly, which is making him bitter and hypersensitive about old romances. Just a guess based on people I know who've gone through really annoying stages like this after a breakup or rejection.)

    That being said, the whole thing just strikes me as slightly pathetic more than anything. Less something to ridicule forever, more something to roll your eyes at and ignore.

  32. You won't be rolling your eyes and ignoring him when he's standing at the foot of your bed at 3am, a knife in one hand and his cock in the other.

  33. @Katrina: I would ask her about the balloon if the topic (birthday party) came up and I happened to wonder about it. The waiter analogy, however, fails: clients and waiters hardly even exchange names and those events are unexceptional to waiters. How many junior proms do you have in a lifetime?

    "Asking whether or not her parents had paid for the photo isn't the rude part; his attitude and his accusatory tone are rude."

    This is the type of hasty judgment and lack of charity I wrote about. His first note looks like an earnest question and not a condemnation. If I got that note, I'd think he was just wondering why I did a particular action (and not even a bad one!) in an unpleasant event. If his version of the events were mistaken, I might correct him and consider it an honest mistake. If it's true, while I might regret (or feel proud of) my actions, I'd still recognize he's presenting those facts to pose a question, because presenting some background is a reasonable move to posing a question about the remote past. I'd think you'd have to read a hostile tone or attitude into it to believe it's there. And that requires supposing his intentions are hostile.

    "He hasn't attempted to contact her in six years until conveniently he came across her on Facebook--so it seems to me that he's been sitting around obsessing about it for six years[...]"

    Right, because that's how facebook works: every one of your facebook friends is actually your friend and not a colleague or acquaintance you somewhat know. We only post serious things on there we'd actually say in person and not errant, easily written thoughts. A person who writes an errant thought to one of those remote colleagues on facebook was probably sitting around and obsessing over it long before. Disturbing.

    A third degree interrogation suggests a heavy-handed or excessive element, which this lacked.

    @nothayama: He didn't ask her to defend her rude behavior. He asked her to explain that quirky step she made (getting a portrait). You're setting up a straw man. And I'd think someone would have to invest their emotions to suggest that.

    Getting offended at someone, because they bring up your past actions when they're not even condemning you for it makes no sense to me. Maybe everything you guys suppose about this guy is true, but I'd like to see a clearer sign than some girl getting butthurt because he nonjudgmentally mentions the past.

  34. Luis said...but I'd like to see a clearer sign than some girl getting butthurt because he nonjudgmentally mentions the past.

    She's not hurt, rather, she just doesn't understand were he's coming from. She doesn't remember the alleged incident and is definitely not hurt about it.

    Non-judgemental? Don't think so. He's clearly upset and is still concerned about some incident that appears to have happened only in his mind.

  35. @Fact: Look up 'butthurt' using Google. It does not mean hurt. It has something to do with inappropriately negative emotional reaction, (mis)perceived insult, and shame. It has everything to do with the language in her response.

    Though he supplies follow-up details regarding an unpleasant event, he has some sensible and typical reasons I've already discussed that have nothing to do with 'being upset'. Concluding he's 'clearly' upset based on that is a mistake. Moreover, his diction lacks connotations to suggest it. The language doesn't seem to support your conclusion: he may very well not be upset, and his intention may not be to shame her (or what you imagine) but to honestly pose a question.

    Further, there is little reason to suppose this incident 'happened only in his mind' or that it appears to have. It doesn't 'appear to' anything. Only this: she claims to recall almost nothing, and he claims to remember plus mentions some details. It may have logically happened. We don't know.

    Maybe you have trouble imagining why someone would send this message if not to personally attack her. I can imagine a few reasons someone might be genuinely curious about puzzling behavior.

  36. I'm also with the guy on this one. Sure, it was a socially awkward and naive question to ask, but the way she responds shows she was a bitch, is a bitch.( or just in a really pissy mood when she did reply. ) Some people cherish or hold onto memories of others more than others. It's probably not even that he obsessed over it, it's just possible he was sitting there late at night, came across the questionnaire, and remembered how puzzled and hurt he was at what could have been one of his first dances or dates.

  37. I'm late but ....

    When people have told me about past instances when I have previously hurt their feelings, my reaction has been to apologize and explain that it was unintentional.

    My reaction has NOT been to snap at them and sarcastically ask why they have spent years brooding over it.

    LS strikes me as a self-centered asshole who can't be bothered to think about the effect her actions have on other people.

  38. This sounds like normal "I haven't seen you in 6 years" Facebook behavior. I've had people remind me of things and I have reminded them as well. If it annoyed him at the time, I can see why a prom questionaire would remind him of it.

  39. She definitely had a hidden sense of guilt after that. And she was hoping it would go away. But NO! Here came the payback time. Now she will remember everything and will pour ash on her head.

  40. LS either used Alex or cheated on Alex. Can't really say. We have no clue if LS and Alexed dated before the prom.


    Reading your note brought to mind something that's puzzled me for a while (Ed Note: Six years!),

    This could've been something that was bothering him for a few days/weeks maybe even months after the prom and have forgot about it until he read her facebook prom thinggie.


    Do you always spend six years brooding over a girl who was inconsiderate to you when she was 16?

    She's the one who went all psycho and assumed Alex did nothing but thought about her that one night. Get over yourself LS.

    here's my conclusion.

    but when you were anxious to split at prom why did you still insist on a couples' portrait?

    If they dated and when he said split, he meant split up as a couple. She cheated on him and used the portrait to show her parents/friends/or whoever to show she was at the prom and not with the other guy or guys...or girl(s), who knows.

    If they never dated before and when he said split, he meant, they left the prom early, then she was just using him or it was some kind of HS bet or dare. Probably needed the portrait to show her parents/friends or whoever that she was at the prom and snuck out to bang some other dude. Sex was probably crappy that night so she don't remember.

    Just a guess...

  41. I'm a little late, but...

    I too kind of side with the guy. I don't see anything in this email banter that even slightly suggests he's psychotic, or even pathetic. Just seemed like an innocent question to me. Maybe his ability to remember every little detail so clearly sort of freaked her out, because in her minds eye it was so long ago, forgotten, and she didn't like him that much anyway. But who knows? Maybe he had been a lot more into her than she was into him... or maybe he's the kind of guy that remember stupid pointless shit like that and she has the memory of a goldfish.

    Either way, the only thing that annoyed me about this one was her impatience and quick short-tempered responses. Sounds to me like she got fed up because she maybe felt he was making a big deal about something that she did wrong and would rather forget about.

    Just food for thought.

  42. wow...some of the responses on here sound rather naive. He didn't just ask oh hey remember the prom? He was clearly upset about what happened and was accusing her of being in the wrong. After 6 years? The fact that he even still cares about it sends up a red flag. And the photos? Lots of girls get photos at prom, if only to remember the dress they wore. It really has more to do with the dress than the guy, to be honest. So why does it matter that she wanted a photo?