We've all been there.You've been dating someone for a couple weeks, maybe a month. Things seem to be going alright, nothing too out of the ordinary.
Yet.
And then it hits you out of nowhere.
The premature "I love you."
From a guy.
Now, I'm a guy, and I really don't have too much a problem saying it if I mean it, but it usually takes me at least 6 months or more to work up the nerve. Most guys are that way.
But there's something to be said about a guy who can say "I love you" after a couple dinner dates and a few rounds of Skee-Ball.
That something is "run the fuck away from him."
You got yourself a needy little bitch. With a penis.
Lachelle had been dating Chris for over two years. Deeply in love, Lachelle and Chris did what some couples just have to do on occasion: break up.
It wasn't the usual minor tiff, but rather the kind of fight where she dusts off the list of everything he's done wrong since he was a sperm, he ignores her furious ranting and then he smashes a pan or something, and they end up taking the dreaded "break."
So Lachelle just hung out with her friend Andrew for a couple weeks. In was a hot, torrid and juicy affair, if you consider playing video games, watching a movie or two, and maybe looking at some of his artwork "hot and juicy."
I sure do.
But nothing happened, and it was two fucking weeks. That's like, this Saturday and next Saturday, and that's about it.
Lachelle and Chris eventually came to their senses however, and rekindled their relationship.
But Andrew was left all alone with nothing but a shoulder full of Lachelle's tears and fond memories of that one night where they watched Legally Blonde and ate some pretzels. What a night of magic it was.
And .... well .... you can probably smell the cookies in the kitchen by now, can't you?
Well, it just so happens that Andrew is a blogger. What a fucking loser, right? A fucking blogger. I mean, who's ever heard of such a stupid thing?
Anyway, guess who had a sudden need to make a very important blog entry?
Take it away, Andrew.
I'm done with her. As much as I loved her. Yea I said love. You did once too then said I was being a bit quick to say it. Not anymore. You crushed my heart twice and that is one too many. I should have never given you a second chance. You were weak and fell into his trap. He is an asshole. You know that. One act of kindness does not mean he will treat you right.
I hope you feel accomplished Chris. You begged for weeks like a fucking dog for table scraps. Have your food. You called over and over. She gave in. You called every fucking minute. More annoying then anything. She did nothing. I hope you feel happy. I bet you do. Thats good. Im upset. Youre pry hard as a rock at that thought. I dont care anymore. I do and I dont. I care this had to happen to me but I dont care what happens now. I just know you both will be misreble and in the end never be happy with your lives.
Lachelle. You made a mistake. You know it. I dont know how you let it happen. I treated you so well. I did everything right. Everything I possibly could to make you happy and treat you right. He wont do that. He never did and yet you went back? Good luck with that. Not to sound cocky but I feel I was of some quality and you just used me. You fucking used me and betrayed me. Oh Chris you like that thought dont you. I bet you do you little fucker.
So you two. Go get married have a few retarded children that have to live on machines or are too incompetent to function a normal life due to their parents lack of intelligence. Have a wonderful american deam.
Listen, I sound harsh in these words. My feelings were true. I loved you. I cared for you beyond everything else. But this is how you treat me in return. I hope you feel aweful, I know you do. Your going to feel even worse when I say I never want to talk to you ever again beyond the friendly hello or light chat. Apparntly we cant handle anything beyond that because I not you I end up getting fucked over. So have fun. I'm going to go drink some 151 now to try and forget this ever happened.
Best Regards
Andrew
And for the record, Lachelle never said she loved him. Because she never did. And never would.
But was Andrew done?
No.
So fond he was of his brilliance, he also posted it on a MySpace bulletin board for all to see, and then on her MySpace page just in case she didn't happen to catch it the first two times around.
Nice job Andrew.
But that's not what makes you the bitch.
What makes you the bitch is saying "I never want to talk to you ever again... beyond the friendly hello or light chat."
Way to leave yourself open for more abuse. Put your fucking alpha pants back on, sister.
Feel free to post in the comments how early is too early for someone to say "I love you."My vote? You say it in the first two months, you're out.
I have to agree that the fast I-love-you is too much. 2 months sounds pretty good, but even that can change given the circumstances... my dad actually proposed to my mom less than two months after meeting her, and they've since had four kids and been married for almost 40 years. Still, I consider that WELL removed from the norm.
ReplyDeleteThe fastest I've ever told a girl "I love you" is around the 6 month mark, and it's always after a LOT of thought. I've known people who say they "fall in love" easily, but that usually just translates to "I do not understand the meaning of the word 'commitment.'"
Years ago, I was dumped after a month because the guy said he just wasn't feeling any love (and I don't mean the 'getting some action' kind), which I boggled at, as much as one can when they're dressed to go to dinner and not only is he late, he's breaking up with you.
ReplyDeleteWhat does he do then? He *kisses me*. Twice. Later I found out from him he did that because he didn't think he'd ever get to kiss a woman ever again. Not long after that, I found out the whole story on the chick from Wales he was having trouble getting over: he had known her for two months about two years prior. They never dated, and he was *still* hung up on her. During our one brief month of...whatever he'd said he wanted to move on from the past and make it work with me. *snorts* We belonged to the same Yahoogroup, which is how we met, and to someone else in the group he said, after we broke up, that when memories of a past love come and wash over you, all you can really do is just stand there and not really say anything, or if it's at night you can only lie there and wait until they go away. *headwall* The thought of sending him a card thanking him for doing me the favor of breaking up with me did cross my mind.
I concur the previous comment. When dating my boyfriend for over a year now I didn't say "I Love you" until well over six months while he placed it around the six month mark, maybe a little earlier. Love is a strong word and today's society throws it around too often like it's just another word.
ReplyDeleteHalf the time they don't know what the hell 'love' is anyway.
I would so love to be able to chime in on when is too early to say "I love you" but I blurted it out the first time my husband and I had sex.
ReplyDelete*hangs head in shame*
In my defense, we'd had one of those weird, long "friend" relationships where both of you and everyone else know it's just a matter of logistics and getting a few last fun-fucks in before you hook up.
"I never want to talk to you ever again beyond the friendly hello or light chat."
"Or unless my heartfelt, emotional post makes you want to toss me a pity fuck," he thinks hopefully.
I was given "I love you" after the first date... and knowing the person for only two days.
ReplyDeleteI met him on OKCupid (first mistake) and talked to him over AIM for a few days. Since we didn't have any classes together, we arraigned to meet up for lunch at the university. He spent the majority of our 'date' talking about his depression and the pills he was on. Oh, and how he has no friends and 'no one stays in his life' because they are all 'flawed people' and he is just an innocent bystander. Not leaving then and there would be my second mistake.
Then the "I love you" came two days later. There was also much talk about marriage, and I was pretty much put off by the whole thing. I told him that he was definitely going too fast, and he got very upset.
The next night he sent me a note on AIM that he was going to kill himself if I didn't try to contact him. Not wanting to deal with that crap, I called his dorm's RA and told him about the AIM message.
The next morning I had an away message from him. He left me this lengthy paragraph about how I was just another "serpent" in his life and how I should never butt into his personal life again.
So yes, two days after knowing someone? Definitely too short of a time to throw the "I love you" out there.
Uff... the weird thing about me is that... If I say "I love you" to a boyfriend (or any human beings) often I usually am only fond of the person. But when I truly feel "love" I can never say it. Hints, maybe, but that's all.
ReplyDeleteI shudder at the use of the "L" word.
In defense of "early" love, I told my current boyfriend I loved him after about four months. He said it back to me a month later. I was ready to say it and I was tired of carrying it around with me. I felt guilty about it afterward, even though I absolutely meant it (and still do). When he said it to me, I realized the words didn't even matter that much. I already knew how he felt.
ReplyDeleteBut he's not the kind of man-child you'd ever be featuring on here.
My ex, however...he told me he loved me about two months after meeting me and I said it back just 'cause (I was 15 for fuck's sake). And thus began five long and crazy years.
Let's see. Well, one time this guy slid up to me in the grocery store and said "You're beautiful! I love you! Will you marry me?!"
ReplyDeleteSo naturally I said, "Eek, get away from me, you creep!" (but actually, we were already married...)
Had it happen to me twice in the last two years. One after like, a week, and another after maybe 3 weeks. As a dude hearing that from a chick, few things trigger a fight or flight response faster than a premature "I love you."
ReplyDelete"Love ya" and "much love" or even "goodbye love!" while saying goodbye doesn't bother me, but "I love you" that early just, few things trigger commitment-phobia and make you instantly skip to the end of the relationship.
I had a guy tell me he loved me in bed. Then he had to stop and clarify that he wasn't 'in love' with me, he just had deep feelings that he wasn't quite sure what they were and it might be love.
ReplyDeleteTalk about wishy washy
I'm not sure about the six month rule as my husband and I became engaged around six months. In fairness I don't recall when the first "I love you" happened, somewhere between 2 and 6 months I'd guess. Meanwhile we got married 10.5 months after meeting and we are going on 9 years.
ReplyDeleteI don't suppose I ever kept a calendar of these things while I was dating however I'd have been pretty horrified if it happened after 2 weeks. On the other hand I always hate keeping my feeling back and I'd have probably said it as soon as I felt it.
My boyfriend said I love you on the second week. Five years later we're still together ;)
ReplyDeleteI guess it depends, sometimes you just click. My fiance said it about 6 weeks in, and I almost had a heart attack. I just wasn't thinking about it yet. Sheesh! Once I had thought about it, though, I realized I did love him back. He felt like an idiot for a couple of days though, because I'm not one to lie, and I told him he caught me off guard.
ReplyDeleteI met a man on in an AOL chat room. After IMing with him for a few hours (it was the afternoon) he asked me if I wanted to go on a date that night to dinner and a movie. I agreed (I was younger and dumber than I am now) I had him pick me up at a coffee shop near my house (not that dumb) and on the way to the restaurant he told me he loved me and wanted to know if I wanted to move in with him or could he come live with me. I had known the guy all of 6 hours. He also told me how lonely he was and how he had no friends and I was being so nice to him he never wanted to let me out of his sight again. I snuck out of the restaurant when I told him I needed to visit the ladies room. I walked to a friend's house that lived nearby and got him to take me home. The "I love you" stalker? Kept hanging out at the coffee shop I originally met him in hoping to "find" me since I had disappeared that night plus I disappeared online by changing my screen name. It was so creepy.
ReplyDeleteThere are times when a quick "I love you" works, usually those whirlwind romances where the people end up getting married after a month and then live happily ever after. Definitely not the norm, though.
ReplyDeleteI, personally, am rather emotionally detached. You don't even have to SAY "I love you" too quick, just start ACTING a little mushy, or a little too close, and I'm done. Although, I do tend to get the clingy, "sensitive" guys. You know, the ones who are hiding a vagina behind their penis. That's probably the other reason my relationships don't last very long.
Usually it's a week or two, with me. Seriously, they start calling me gushy names by the end of week one and they'd probably say "I love you" in week three but they never get there.
There have been a few who've lasted longer, but they eventually went down the same road, by being more feminine than I am.
Is it just me, or is there something amiss? He mentioned that she broke his heart twice, and it's not specified how long they knew each other before she broke up with the boyfriend. Sounds like they had been friends for quite a while, in which case falling in love doesn't seem so abrupt. I think the submitter left out a few details...
ReplyDeleteI was set up with my best friend’s husband friend once. Very nice guy, but I got an "I Love You" on the second date. Waaaayyyyyyy too early. Shocked at what I had just heard, I replied that I didn't feel that way and I wasn't the type of person who just blurted it out. To which he responded, "That is why I love you so much! You are so honest and sweet". OMG. I didn't know what to do.
ReplyDeleteBeing young and stupid, I agreed to go out with him a few more times and guess where he took me? To look at houses that were for sale. Talk about moving fast? We hadn't been dating for TWO WEEKS and he was taking me by houses that were for sale for us to move into. And there was always talk about him wanting to get married and have kids too. Okay, I was 24 and just starting graduate school while working full time. Marriage and kids were not on my radar screen for YEARS! I couldn’t date someone who was ready to settle down while I was just starting my career. Two people with different goals – it was not going to work.
So, I told him that I didn’t want to see him anymore because of the reasons above (very nicely, because I would still have to see him in the future) and he was devastated. I didn't get any letters or calls, but since he was best friend’s hubby's friend, I got the whole scoop anyway.
I wasn't surprised when I was told that he was engaged and married within six months of us breaking up. The fun part was watching the new wife glare at me when we all were at parties together. Ugh. Look lady, I didn't want him then and I certainly don't want him now.
I think telling someone you love them an hour after you ask them out is outrageous.
ReplyDeleteThe last guy I was with was like that. We had been friends for about a year, but never really had feelings for each other. I invited him to go to Disney on a small road trip for my birthday, I had four free tickets that expired soon and needed a fourth for the trip! So he came over, and of course hormones raged. After the light kissing he asked me out, I was younger and thought ohhh a boyfriend, and he was my friend and seemed nice enough. Well an hour later, he told me he loved me. It creeped me out, but I went along with the trip to disney. I told him the following night after we returned from Orlando, that I didn't think we should date, and being friends was easier[lame I know]. That his early I love you wierded me out, and we were better off as friends.
He hasn't spoken to me since.
But what can you do?
My ex spit it out after about two weeks, and was extremely hurt when I didn't say it back. He was much more emotional than I am, and way too gushy. Most of his romantic crap and nauseating compliments had me struggling not to laugh right in his face. He had no idea what love was! We eventually broke up because his ex of 3 years was begging to have him back, and as far as I was concerned, she could have him! He sent me a long email telling me about how much he loved us both and he was so emotionally torn (which I should probably send to this blog because it's pretty amusing), to which I replied..."okay! Seeeee ya!"
ReplyDelete4 months later I got another email...begging to have me back. HA!
My current beau has not said it yet (after 2 years of friendship and 4 months dating). Neither of us is the type to throw that word around!
My current boyfriend said the 3 words about 6 weeks after we got together. Although this was via text message and we didn't actually speak it aloud for a few weeks after that. But I realized that I was in love with him after 3 weeks, or at least felt that way so I didn't feel that it was too early.
ReplyDeleteHe's very careful about the girls he chooses to date. He went about 3 years without a girlfriend until I came along. And he's a catch so I was quite surprised when I found out.
But I will say that with previous boyfriends I waited over 2 months to say it.
My very first boyfriend, when I was 15, told me he loved me after our first date at On the Border hahaha. I remember closing the door and being like, "er......what?" But we were kids and he was sweet so I didn't let it bother me too much. We ended up dating for five years!
ReplyDeleteWhat a sniveling little pissant. The maturity of a unfertilized chicken ovum and the class of a post-earthquake Chinese High School.
ReplyDeleteAs much as I love this site it's making me hate my penis. If I cut it off and post it to Weasel will anyone here offer to film it and build a website. Like I bet we could make 10, 20 bucks clear.
My first boyfriend said he loved me about a week and a half in, but I couldn't bring myself to say it back. He tried to laugh it off, but kept saying it.
ReplyDeleteUntil he broke up with me after a month because I "wouldn't fulfill his sexual needs".
Uh....right. I was 15. And so was he.
The mind boggles.
I think it depends. If someone is fresh out of another relationship and they say "I love you" within a few days or weeks it is likely because they are accustomed to doing so and seek that familiarity. On the other hand, some people feel the need to express their emotions and confuse admiration with love. There have been times where I met someone and "loved" them even though I knew it was only infatuation. Sometimes the infatuation turned to love and sometimes it didn't. Feelings of love are different for everyone. I don't think it matters so much when a person says it as it does why he/she chose to say it. The blog that guy wrote was absolutely absurd though and he is just desperate.
ReplyDeleteI'm 16 and I have a wonderful bf (he's 17) that I've been dating for over a year now. I had dated a lot of guys and I knew what I wanted out of a relationship. Greg told me he loved me when we had only been dating for 2 weeks!! I didn't say I loved him back until about 3 months into our relationship. It didn't scare me away, I felt like he was being sincere but I just wasn't ready to make that big of a commitment yet.
ReplyDeleteMy senior year in high school, I was good friends with a guy in my graphic arts class. He was from a different school; we had a vocational program that we went to in the mornings. I asked him to prom because I needed a date and he was super duper nice and halfway good-looking. Turns out he was also a suicidal clingy psycho.
ReplyDeleteOnce I asked him to prom, that month leading up to it was pure regret! He thought that was his cue that I liked him and for the time leading up to the prom he was calling me constantly, texting, wanting to come to my house to hang out... The night of prom I pretty much steered clear of him at the dance, save for pictures and a dance or two.
Later that night we had an afterparty at my best friend's house (a huuuuuge group of us) and he went to his car and moped for a few hours because I was totally blowing him off. He asked me to step outside, which I did, and he told me that he gets attached to people easily, he was obsessed with me, and he wanted to date me (not to mention that he had a sixteen year old girlfriend in another state)! I was positively freaked out by then. For the months after all of this he went into a depressed suicidal mode and I avoided him like the plague.
Oh, and he was overly emotional and very dramatic. I came to class one day (prior to prom) and he looked like hell. I asked him what was wrong and he told me that he was so sad because his pet rat died. WTF. They only live like two years, right? Haul your ass to petco and buy another one. Hell.
The guy I dated after that wasn't as bad(five months), but he not only pulled the premature "I love you" shit on me, but he also said "One day we're gonna be old and have rocking chairs on our porch and we can watch our grandkids play in the yard and..." I KID YOU NOT. Two weeks later he was a gone-pecan, and about a month later I found the guy I'm with now, and have been with for two and a half years. He told me he loved me about the eight month mark, and that was perfectly okay with me. Heck, I'm the only gal he's dated that has lasted more than three months!
Oh heck. I got a proposal over coffee. I didn't even know it was a date.
ReplyDeleteAnd the really fun thing was he asked me to come back to his country and assured me I'd be his FIRST wife.
I don't think there is such a thing as too early, if the other person feels the same. And if you don't know them well enough or feel comfortable enough around each other that you KNOW they feel the same, you don't really love them. My current boyfriend and I really liked each other immediately after our first meeting, and since it was on a camping trip in which we spent the next week together, by the end of the week we felt like we'd been together forever. So, I think there are times in which you get to know a person immediately because you click so well, you can say it earlier than a few months. If you experience this, you'll know! It turned cynical old me into a believer, and I would've told you love didn't exist a few years ago.
ReplyDeleteYou say it ever, you're out. Marriage is mistake.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I'm one of the early people, but the circumstances weren't so, um, apathetic? It was after about a month or so of dating, but it was an absolutely instantaneous connection. I said it first, too, but not without knowing that the sentiment was returned. There's a huge difference between rushing a passionate affair and rushing casual, asexual hanging-out.
ReplyDeleteAnd for the record, we got engaged in January and our 5 year anniversary is coming up in a few weeks. :) Honestly, if I weren't still in school we would have been married years ago.
That being said, this guy is still a freak. It's one thing to post it on your blog that nobody but your mom reads, and a few friends awkwardly skim, but to put it on her MySpace wall? Jesus. Who needs subtlety when you can clock people in the face with a sniveling, over-inflated baseball bat of emotions?
I will never get over the stuff people publicly post on their Myspace.
ReplyDeleteIt may be YOUR space but the whole WORLD can read if you're not set to private which most people aren't. So it's not the best place to have an emotional meltdown!
Hey Weasel? I know it's only been a week, but... I love you.
ReplyDeleteI worked with a guy when I was single still. I had tickets to a concert and no date. We'd had coffee and even a couple beers after work. So I asked him. We were having a chili dog before the concert and he asked "SOoooo where are we going with this?" I said "Rush at Gund arena" (LOL) He said no... us!! I was getting over a difficult long term and painful breakup. So I felt sick I did like him romantically but couldn't go there yet. After a few times talking he just wouldn't let up on "us" and just let me hang out so I had to say NOTHING is us, I'm JUST NOT THERE. He got pissed and stopped talking to me entirely. We're both married to other people now. Husband is nothing like him. Husband is totally patient and stable.
ReplyDeleteMy current boyfriend and I said "I love you" after only a couple of weeks being together. (Yeah, I know..it's crazy.) But Ive never loved anyone more and we absolutely adore each other. When we met, we just knew we were soulmates. Simple as that.
ReplyDeleteIf a guy is telling you he loves you after only a few weeks, what he is really saying is that he wants to get in your pants and is trying a new tactic. Either that or he wants to control you. Neither one is good.
ReplyDeletehttp://paullinnthoroughbredcheater.blogspot.com/
My current boyfriend actually said it after only one month... but in Russian, so he could say it and be reasonably certain I wouldn't catch him at it. I'm intrepid, so I looked it up based on the phonetic pronunciation and found him out, but I never called him on it, figuring it was just the first blush of infatuation (mad chemistry and a lot of time together made things very whirlwind-y). When I first said it, six months later, he went to commitment panic mode and told me that he was very fond of me but couldn't say that he was "in love" since he wasn't sure of his emotions at the time. I can sympathize, kind of, with the psycho men who are listed above in the comments, because it really is painful to put yourself out there and not receive reciprocation... but yeah, their expectations are beyond unrealistic.
ReplyDeleteThe boyfriend finally told me he loved me on our first dating anniversary (I hadn't said it since, not wanting to pressure him). We're about to hit our fifth now. :)
This guy is a disgrace to bloggers. There's a f*cking spellcheck in all blogging interfaces. Even in the comments section OMG :P Use it!
ReplyDelete2 months is fine. A bit more than that, like 4-6 months when you go all gooey when you look at him/her and think you're going to pop if you don't say it for the first time soon, you can be 100% sure it's for real and not some way of locking you in the relationship.
Hee hee.. having his heart broken twice was "once too many times." Having mine broken *once* is one too many times..!!
ReplyDeleteMy second year of college I went out with a nice young man from Kenya, who was here as an Int'l student. It was our first time ever REALLY meeting and talking, and we went for coffee, sort of an informal thing. He stared at my boobs (which aren't anything resembling impressive; nice, but unimpressive) the ENTIRE time, then asked me about marriage. Pretty sure he just wanted to stay in the country after his visa expired, though... XD
ReplyDeleteToo early == Anytime pre-deathbed. Let's keep it Finnish.
ReplyDeleteSo I had been seeing this guy for...oh, maybe two months. And we had both sort of expected a brief torrid affair, and not much else, except that suddenly we were spending every night together and it was...really something else. And then I went off on a trip and missed him terribly and was coming back on the plane and had the usual moment of mid-turbulence "Oh god, the plane's going down!" panic and thought "I would feel immensely stupid if I died without ever telling this guy I loved him."
ReplyDeleteSo that night, after some marathon sex, I bit the bullet and said "By the way, I'm madly in love with you."
To which he replied "OH THANK GOD!"
This was so obviously sincere--I mean, he sounded like somebody being told that the tests had come back negative--and so unexpected, that I cracked up completely. When I stopped laughing, he said "I mean, I love you, too--I've just been going "Oh god, what if she doesn't feel the same way..."
It's been a little over a year now, and he still cracks me up.
I've known the guy I am dating for over 12 years; we have been together three months and at times I have felt like I *could* say the three little words. I have known him long enough and we are great together... BUT: I am smart enough to realize that although he shows me his love, he isn't the kind to blurt it out. I'll wait, thanks.
ReplyDeleteI say that if you say the words in less than a month or two - it's not true love, more of infatuation or lust which you are thinking to mean love. Real love is a hard thing - it means loving someone even when they are being a dick or when they ignore you or when you fight. I don't know many couples who can say that they truly love someone when they have known them for so little of time, as say a month or two...
Okay, Tori and I had been going out for about three weeks. Yeah, it was early, but I truly did love her, a lot. And I mean, We /did/ say we hearted each other and stuff. And so finally, I got sick of saying "Oh, I heart you," and just threw caution to the wind and said I love you.
ReplyDeleteNow? We're going strong, despite my mom hating every moment of it. (Or, my mom thinking we broke up... Whichever!) And I wouldn't change a thing, because I do love her, and always have.
I'm with a new boyfriend who just told me "I love you" after a week and a half. It's his first ever real relationship. Funny thing is, I think he knows exactly what he's saying and means it. We've been very close friends for awhile, and he's the most stable, earnest, strongest guy I've ever known. It still freaks me out, but he doesn't expect me to say it back...which will probably be a loooong time. If anyone else said it that early, I'd be running for the hills.
ReplyDeleteTwo months is good, if you've spent 2 solid months and you feel the same way. After that, it's all downhill...but after 23 years when they say they don't mean it.
ReplyDeleteHey guess what they're just words and they don't mean anything.
ReplyDelete*chucklestifle*
battyjeri said...
ReplyDeleteLet's see. Well, one time this guy slid up to me in the grocery store and said "You're beautiful! I love you! Will you marry me?!"
So naturally I said, "Eek, get away from me, you creep!" (but actually, we were already married...)
I got a good chuckle out of that one!! That kind of creepy is the best kind :)
What if you fall in love with someone at first sight? Do you not tell him? Do you play coy? Are guys slow? Shouldn't he feel the same thing? I met this guy and I really didn't think all that much about him until he took off his helmet and then it was like my whole world was lit up. I just thought he was perfect, goofy smile and all, and it seemed he felt the same way too. When we kissed and played, I just lost myself in him ... it's like everyone else stopped mattered.
ReplyDeleteBut then I realized that that was all he wanted to do, kiss and play, or maybe I just got scared and didn't give it time. I broke it off and wrote him a letter telling him that he was a jerk and to never call me ever. I had told him I "really liked him" and he said "I know you do" ... he had just broken off a long term relationship...
Did I mention, I don't have very much experience, dating? Anyway, I never felt that way about anyone, most guys I've dated or befriended, I can't wait to get away from and forget about them the minute they leave. I know, I'm kinda lame, but I screwed it up right? I shouldn't have said anything, and just been friends, then saw where he stood. I guess another life lesson learned.
My husband and I started it saying it within weeks of beginning dating, a month at most. 4 years later it's still true. We're both complete hopeless romantic saps, but hey. It's worked so far, and across a few thousand miles of long-distance. Maybe we're lucky? I know we're weird, lol.
ReplyDeleteMy husband said it 6 days after we met. I said it back... we've been married for 2 years together for 3 and we're rock solid.
ReplyDeleteSometimes it works out.
My boyfriend said "I love you" after just under two months and I said it back. However, we were both piss drunk at the time. I didn't bring it up for a while but then he said it again. Sometimes I feel like we shouldn't say it too often because then it just loses its meaning.
ReplyDeleteI was drunk as hell the first time I told my fiancée that I loved her. It was....2 and a half months after we met (and started going out) I think. Did she say it back? No, and I didn't expect her to. She did say it 2 months later though, and now we're engaged, so I would like to think I didn't say it too early. It depends on the situation really. After the first week, we were struggling to come up with vastly differing opinions on serious subjects, but no luck. The thing we differ most on is she likes the Strawberry and Cherry Starbursts, and I like the Lemon and Orange....but if we split a pack, it works perfectly.
ReplyDeleteSecond time we had sex...."I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you". I think I might have known him for about 6 weeks at that point?
ReplyDeleteI couldn't get away fast enough. I wanted him gone. Right. That. Second.
My boyfriend and I waited I think. I was the first to say it, at like 4 months. We've been together for a little over 2 years and are very happy. However my best friend dated a guy for less tha a month, he said it two weeks and threatened her gay best friend 2 weeks later. Oh the dangers of the L word.
ReplyDeleteThe sad thing is when you realise someone hasn't experienced love before. This girl once solemnly told me she loved me when all we had done was talked. I told her in what I thought was a gentle yet honest way that it was too early for me (it would have been excused if we'd fallen head over heels for each other, but neither of us had). Cue much yelling and ridiculing me for 'forcing time limits on love' and to let her know when enough time had passed for her to say it. It was very awkward, but not as awkward as the relationship we ended up having.
ReplyDeleteI felt love after date #1, and said it after date #3. We're still together 10 years later. I think you say it when you feel it.
ReplyDeleteI would like to begin by saying I am a nerd, and this occured while playing world of warcraft while I was in the Navy..
ReplyDeleteI was casual friends with one of the people in-game, someone my sister (who also plays) had known for a while (never in person). he was someone who was always very nice to me, and I really enjoyed talking to him and playing with him into the wee hours of the morning. (I later found out that the only reason he was able to stay awake that late and talk with me was he was on cocaine.. yay..)
anyway, I never thought anything serious of it.. I liked him because he was nice, and that's really about as far as it went for me. for about 6 mths we'd talk regularily, play togather, and just have a good time. he was "dating" one of the other girls with whom I was a mutual aquaintance (never talked to her much as she didn't sit right with me.. something was a bit off about her) and went to meet her one week. after he came back from his few days of (unprotected) sexual debauchery, they started having problems, and she started getting creepy, accusing me of trying to take him away from her (WHAT??) and calling me names for always talking to him (whore, slut, etc.)
long story short, she actually drove him to me (something I wasn't looking for by a long run) and he ended up professing stong feelings of, you guessed it; love. how long? 6 mths, give or take after I started talking to him, before we started "dating"
we were togather for about 3 years after that, we met in person, hit it off for a bit, lived togather for a couple years.. we are curently splitting up because we just don't get along anymore.. turns out he's a controling prick, always right, blames me for everything, claims he doesn't want me taking care of things for him, but makes me feel bad when I don't, etc. part of me wants the last few years back, part of me doesn't because I learned some lessons...
anyway, just my input, sometimes "I love you" is a good thing, sometimes not.. no matter how long the relationship, friendship or otherwise, has been going on
The year was 1987. We'd been together for 1 year. I was head over heels and certain he didn't feel the same. We were on acid and sexxxing it up and he said "I love you". To this day I'm certain that he didn't mean to say it out loud. The next day I broke out in a massive rash head to toe from the acid-washed shock of it.
ReplyDeleteI like to get it out of the way on the first date, perhaps sooner. You know, so it doesn't become an issue.
ReplyDeletecurrent bf and i were friends for 6 months and i knew i loved him at 3 months into our relationship, but i knew he prob wouldnt feel the same way. well, i was gonna burst if i didnt tell him, so i formlated a plan.
ReplyDeletei would tell him one night before he took me home. i would say it, leave the room, and wait down by his car. the plan had several purposes.
i didnt want to stand there waiting for something that wasnt coming, so i left to give him a minute to calm down in case i really freaked him out.
he took me home, and while saying goodnight he gently told me he wasnt ready to say it back and he didnt want to say it just to make me happy, and assured me that we were fine, i hadnt scared him away or anything.
he said it 2 months later, and then we had incredible sex, saying i love you to each other over and over.
My girlfriend and I told each other we loved eachother at the two week mark. For some people that's too early, but not for us. We're still together and going strong.
ReplyDeleteObviously, for every relationship it's completely different.
Only Posers Fall In Love.
ReplyDeleteMy very first boy friend said I love you at the end of our very first date. He said "I love you" sounding all unsure and weird, and I said "No you don't!!" and laughed. I didn't even think before I spoke, I just looked at him, and shook my head...few weeks later, I dumped him from too much pressure towards sex, he fucked my best friend, then he told one of our friends he loved HER and put moves on her...
ReplyDeleteI made mistakes in the dating world later on in life, but mom didn't raise a moron.
Vanessa
I saw a few comments of people disagreeing with the fact that there should be some kind of timeline for declaring one's love, but I'm honestly surprised that the majority of people here think it's creepy to declare love "too early." I agree that the behavior depicted in the post is creepy. But I fail to see why there has to be a timeline.
ReplyDeleteGenerally speaking, I would assume that people have sex with each other because they are in love. So, generally speaking, I would say that saying "I love you" right around the time one starts sleeping with someone would be the right time to say it. Now, sometimes you can have NSA sex, sure, but that falls into a different category for me--the one-night-stand, or friends with benefits.
Maybe I'm a psycho, but if it took me months of sleeping with someone, and spending lots of time together, to realize that I was in love with them, I would think something was wrong.