Friday, February 13, 2009

In Christ's Love, I'll Beat His Ass

If Andrew is a man of God, he needs to pick up a Bible and do some serious fucking reading.

You see, Angela dated Andrew for eight months until she finally built up the confidence to tell Andrew, the man she loved, a horrible secret. When she was young, Angela had been molested.

And Andrew did what all good Christians would do in that situation.

He called her a whore.

Nice job, Christian boy.

Angela, like anyone with more than one brain cell, promptly dumped his sorry ass.

Interestingly, Angela met a new man named Matt shortly thereafter. And Matt had also been the victim of horrible physical abuse by his mother as a child. Was Andrew, the good Christian fellow, happy that Angela finally found someone that could understand the pain of abuse?

Of course not.

Like the upstanding Christian role model he is, he calls Matt a pussy for letting his mother beat him up, and then extends an invitation to have a real beating- at the hands of who else?

Andrew!

I may not be a religious man, but I'm pretty sure the Bible wouldn't condone Andrew's behavior.

And since I'm not a religious man, I'm also quite comfortable calling Andrew an impotent fucking assclown.

Enjoy his delusional and rambling grab bag of God's love and physical threats below.

Angela,

Whether you read this or not, I'm glad I typed it, I'll assume you will find a guy, that you will think is alot like me. But he won't be a Christian, and you will think that you can change him like I helped you change.

You will be involved with him like we were, you will date for 7 months expressing "love" for each other, the same kind of love that you didn't have for me. You will be in a position where you say to him, like you said to me, "No one will ever make me feel like you make me feel" or "No one has ever made me feel this good", you will sit on him like you did to me, and he will take advantage of you, you'll lose your virginity, maybe even get pregnant.

At that point you will realize what a mistake you have made in your life by using me the way you have. What goes around comes around and I hope you realize that.

Your pathetic if you can just go out with any guy because he is having a bad day. That means your easy, what a reputation to have at school. Everyone will see that your just sooo sympathetic and everyone will try to get with you, and the first one that says he loves you, you'll just run to him. I won't ever be able to take you back after what you've done to me, just know that things could have been better if you didn't lie to me for so long. I don't know what hurts more:

1- The fact that from the time I first said I loved you til we broke up, you never loved me.
or
2- You were interested in other guys while we were dating and will deny it
til you die that you did.
or
3- That you used me and are just some loose or easy to get with girl that isn't at all interested in the will of God.

How dare you call yourself a Christian when you can just go out with all these different guys and think that it means nothing. I have had to repent and deal with the things we did together. I already know that your going to say that you did to. But I'm sure you got more enjoyment out of it than I ever did knowing that you were living a lie to me, your parents, your friends, the church, and God himself.

Whenever you feel alone you don't know what to do, and that's sad. If you don't do something about your "friend" Matt and his little situation, then your doing a horrible thing for him. You know what it's like to be abused and you should know that things were much better after the truth was told.

Is your friendship with him really worth him being beat by his mother? He must be a small guy I would assume, some little pussy with the same emotions as a girl to think that he can be beat and think its alright.

Just like you were sexually abused and you thought you deserved it. Stop being stupid. You can tell him I said that about him. Tell him where I go to school. Bring him up here have him confront me. I'll show him what being beat is like.

I will show you how much anger I am having to deal with knowing that I was suckered in to loving someone. I cared, I really did, you honestly know how I am with people that are actually in need and how I can't leave well enough alone. Looks like it got the best of me with you.

I have prayed to God for forgiveness of the harbored anger I have with you, as well as the things I have said, done, thought about, etc. with you. Everything physical, everything emotional. Whether you forgive me or not is up to you. I forgive you for what you have done with me and I have no right to harbor biterness towards you. I must accept the facts that I loved but wasn't loved, and I now know that it happened for a reason. To show that even someone as beautiful and white as snow on the outside, like you, can be blacker than hell itself on the inside.

In Christ's love,

Andrew


Hey Andrew. Guess what?

We all know that you masturbate.

Feverishly.

Would God approve of that beating?

46 comments:

  1. Geez, no wonder ppl don't like "Christians"... I swear some of us aren't like this!

    WOnder what denomination he grew up in.

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  2. Y'know Weas, sometimes it's embarrassing to be a Christian and have to admit it.

    There's NOTHING in this guy's letter that is even remotely what the teachings of Christ are all about.

    Andrew's an angry, deluded fuck, and unfortunately, these are the types of people who always scream about being Christian, when they're anything but.

    I'm glad Angela finally got away, and found a decent, caring guy. Abuse in any form is horrific, and I find Andrew's lack of sympathy appalling.

    I hope and pray to God that Andrew lives his angry, hateful, irrational life alone, because he doesn't deserve the love and respect of another human being.

    I find nothing funny about this letter. It saddens me.

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  3. They're not all going to be funny.

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  4. No, this isn't a funny letter. I had to skim, and couldn't read the whole thing. Christians like this make all the rest of us look bad. I'm embarrassed on behalf of my faith.

    (And by the way, I don't think the Bible considers masturbation in and of itself a sin. Not trying to be a troll; just throwing that out there.)

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  5. I have always noted that the people who sing the loudest about being "Christians" are the ones who leave the most to be desired in that respect.... it's like they are trying to convince themSELVES. Real Christians don't constantly bring it up because they are too busy trying to make the world a little bit better with compassion to their fellow humans, not creating a big honking physcho drama to try to hurt others.... Thank goodness this girl DUMPED this psycho ass. Hope she and Matt make it.

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  6. Emily, as I told one of my brothers, I think God has a lot more to worry about than what two consenting adults do in the bedroom, or what ONE consenting adult does to themselves!

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  7. And since I'm not a religious man, I'm also quite comfortable calling Matt an impotent fucking assclown.

    Errr, I'm thinking you meant Andrew here...?

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  8. I thought the same thing - but couldn't bring myself to say anything. My teachers would be SO disappointed.

    As for Andrew being a 'Christian'...dude is freaking CREEPY!!! Christians aren't supposed to be this weird, are they?

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  9. Geez, so many things wrong with this. He says "you will sit on him like you did to me, and he will take advantage of you, you'll lose your virginity, maybe even get pregnant." Where to even begin with that statement?! First of all, it sounds like he's referring to a specific moment in which he was perhaps tempted to "take advantage of her," and rather than face the guilt of having entertained such thoughts, he prefers to feel superior by assuming that someone less "holy" than he will definitely "take advantage of her." Second, what a juvenile, uninformed, hysterical line of reasoning: as if physical contact always leads to rape/loss of virginity which always leads to pregnacy. He's bordering on that mentality that all women should be naturally pristine and if a man sexually assaults her, it's her fault/he's the victim because she "tempted" him. Bite me!

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  10. There are huge chunks of this letter that make absolutely no sense.

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  11. Ugh! He used your as you're!!! OMG, I freaking hate that. I have a compulsion to fix it every time I see it (I have mild OCD) and it drives me absolutely crazy!

    Also driving me crazy is the fact that this man, and many others like him, are basically ruining the Christian religion for those who are actually intelligent, decent human beings. I hope he grows a brain and feels like the asshat he is for saying this shit. Unfortunately, with these types, that doesn't usually happen.

    If I had any faith left in humanity (unfortunately I'm not really joking here) this man would be one of the ones to ruin it. However, I'm so jaded by now it just doesn't surprise me. Ignorant fucking asshole that he is, it really makes me sad.

    I am deliberately not starting on his insensitivity toward abuse, because I've known people who were abused and he'd better pray to God that I never, ever, ever meet him, because I'm not a very religious woman and I will hurt him. Badly.

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  12. NO religion should have to claim this fuckwit as one of its own. Best of luck and love to you and Matt, Angela!

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  13. Being a Christian I think Andrew should be ousted. Honestly he sounds more like a cultist, maybe even satanist. WTF is wrong with this guy?

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  14. Dude, I know a couple of Satanists, and I don't think they would want him either.

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  15. Am I miss reading this one part because it seems like Andrew's actually concerned:

    "If you don't do something about your "friend" Matt and his little situation, then your doing a horrible thing for him. You know what it's like to be abused and you should know that things were much better after the truth was told.

    Is your friendship with him really worth him being beat by his mother? He must be a small guy I would assume, some little pussy with the same emotions as a girl to think that he can be beat and think its alright.

    Just like you were sexually abused and you thought you deserved it. Stop being stupid."

    I don't think Andrew was saying that Matt was a pussy for getting abused, but that he was a pussy for not taking action against the act. It seems he hopes that Angela will help him confront it.

    No doubt, he didn't put it very gently.

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  16. This my friends is why I try my hardest not to ever get involved with Christians. If they believe in a man in the sky in the first place: they must be crazy. Not to mention judgmental, condescending, and rude! What happened to living by the golden rule? sheesh!

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  17. He's CLEARLY repented AND forgiven her. *rolls eyes*

    I have NO PROBLEM with being an actual good Christian - Christ taught to love others and be nice to people and all that. But this guy? Not so much a good Christian. He's dressing his jackassyness up as moral authority. And that, kids, is a sin.

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  18. That piece of scum fails horribly at being Christian. He's just using it as a label to immediately purge himself of any guilt he should feel. That makes me sick. I'm angered especially by the parts where he called her a whore for being molested, and offered to beat her boyfriend for being abused.

    She deserves the best for having to put up with that trash. (And, for those who believe in heaven and hell, I think we all know where Andrew is going after he dies. The only one surprised will be him.)

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  19. Not all Christians are like this guy! But there are enough idiots like Andrew out there to give us all a bad name. Can't we vote 'em off the island?? I guess that's not a very Christian attitude, but I freely admit to not being the most religious person on earth.

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  20. Hi there guys...this was unfourtunately my letter... "Matt" and I are doing wonderfully and have been together for 5 years and married for 2 and a half...I am not now nor have I ever gotten pregnant nor livef to regret my decision to leave this tool bag. I still see Andrew occasionally and he is miserable working his $7.50 and hour job and living alone.

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  21. Perhaps he should be praying for a better knowledge of grammar...

    This was slightly disturbing. I am glad those two found happiness after suffering so much pain in childhood. As for Andrew... *shudders*... there isn't much to say that hasn't already been said by the other comments.

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  22. Great update, Chelsie!

    Whether or not you believe in God or karma, this guy has a whole lot of whacked out crap to deal with in his life, and it looks like it's sitting on his head like Poe's raven. Good!

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  23. Note how Andrew uses the term "girl" (when referring to Matt) in a derogatory manner, too. He doesn't just hate Angela, he's got women issues in general.

    Also, Christians who seem to think that being Christian is more about going "I'm Christian and you're not Christian enough" rather than just, you know, living in the same sorta decent, kind and compassionate way Jesus did SUCK. I'm an atheist and I find them offensive enough.

    I'm so pleased Angela got out of this. The thing that troubles me, though, is that controlling arseholes like Andrew (who also have misogynist and abusive tendencies from the looks of the letter) tend to go for women who're vulnerable and who may have low self-esteem issues. I hope this guy remains single for the rest of his existence.

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  24. While I am glad that Angela dumped Andrew, why did Angela/Chelsie tell Andrew about Matt's personal history in the first place?

    http://paullinnthoroughbredcheater.blogspot.com/

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  25. On behalf of all Christians who aren't complete nutters, I apologize that this moron is using the name of Christ for his small-penised rantings.
    I couldn't read the whole thing because part of my brain scorched from trying to make out the kidnergarten grammar.

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  26. Psychos like this give the whole Christian religion a bad name. It's like those ridiculous "God Hates Fags" people; nothing makes me more angry than using religion to be cruel to people. As for this jerk, he really can't sign a hateful letter "In God's Love," because he doesn't fucking have any in his heart. Seriously, what a self-righteous loser.

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  27. Emily--read Leviticus in the bible. There's a hilarious section of that where he talks about the evils of "spilling your seed" on the earth, which, apparently, makes one unclean XD There's also all kinds of hilarity about menstruation and other natural bodily functions that are apparently evil.

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  28. Yeah I don't know. I tried to read through it but the your/you're idiocy was filling me with too much facepunchy fantasy rage to get to the end.

    Did he spontaneously combust. Because I think that would have been an appropriate and satisfying conclusion.

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  29. I read it the whole thing, but the sheer level of asshattery made my brain explode so I can't claim to understand most of what this dickshoes was saying.

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  30. "I have prayed to God for forgiveness of the harbored anger I have with you, as well as the things I have said, done, thought about, etc. with you. Everything physical, everything emotional. Whether you forgive me or not is up to you. "

    Why oh why would she ever forgive this useless fuck after receiving such a hate filled and disturbing letter.
    Finishing it with "In Christ's Love"! There is clearly no love in this creature called Andrew. A truly psychotic letter.

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  31. >>Hi there guys...this was unfourtunately my letter... "Matt" and I are doing wonderfully and have been together for 5 years and married for 2 and a half...I am not now nor have I ever gotten pregnant nor livef to regret my decision to leave this tool bag. I still see Andrew occasionally and he is miserable working his $7.50 and hour job and living alone.<<

    Living well is the best revenge.

    I'm impressed that, even at a young age, you were able to recognize that Andrew was a total fucktard and deal with it appropriately by booting him out the door. Kudos to you, that is impressive and a shining example to other young women!

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  32. Holy crap, Fugly posted above me!!!

    That is all.

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  33. Every time I read "Would God approve of that beating?" I crack up. I must have read it about 6 times today just for that effect, LOL.

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  34. "But I'm sure you got more enjoyment out of it than I ever did knowing that you were living a lie to me, your parents, your friends, the church, and God himself."

    I'm pretty sure Andrew's talking more about himself here then to Angela. It's the only way that makes sense to me.

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  35. When Andrew dies and is standing at the gates of heaven, God is going to look down on him, say "ewwwwww, how did THAT get there..." and flick him to hell with the force of a thousand suns.

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  36. Hey! those of us that are going to hell don't want him there either!

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  37. Wow. Everyone who posted here above me has already said what I wanted to say: all Christians are not nutters; abused kids are not whores or pussies; and holy cats, does Andrew need to pray for something, if not a dictionary and a grammar guide. Good on Chelsie for getting out; and yay for your successful marriage!!

    There is a big portion of population that actually still perceives girls and women as uncontrollable temptresses, and any sexual assault on them is the victims' fault because they were "tempting" the attacker; and the same sexual assault leaves the victim "unclean". It's incomprehensible to me, but who knows what weirdness lurks inside the hearts of men?

    Incidentally, the issue of menstruation in the Bible isn't about good or evil, it's about cleanliness--wandering in the desert, that was in fact a problem; and masturbation wasn't an issue per se. Onan's coitus interruptus was the problem. More specifically, the issue was heredity; his brother had died and so he was asked to take his brother's wife to his own. Any children they would have had would have been considered not Onan's, but his brother's children, and they would have inherited his brother's wealth; but if the wife had no children, the wealth would have gone to the surviving brother, i.e. Onan. In other words, the issue there was greed, and not masturbation. Anyway...

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  38. I know the comment was a while back, but Texas Paint up there: Dude, seriously, Satanists aren't what you've apparently been told. Satanists would not want this stupid fuck, either.

    To everyone else, sorry, you gotta own it. He's a Christian, he's just a really fucking shitty one. He may not follow the teachings of Christ worth a tin-fisted fuck, but he's Christian. It's not Christian to not respect others' belief in Christ.

    I don't judge the rest of y'all for this doucheswiller's words, though. I am actually feeling sorry along with you, because I know fuckwits like that are always pissing in your punchbowl, and that's why a lot of folks don't much like Christians.

    I have good Christian friends who put up with me even though I am a godless carnal engine of hot atheist fucking, profanity, and ambisexual pornography. I know that he's not representative of anything but the collective south-end output of a herd of dyspeptic pigs. I wouldn't wish this worthless pile of offal on anyone.

    Y'all, he's batshit fucking crazy, and a complete cockhole. The fact that he uses his religion to justify his crazy bullshit doesn't really reflect badly on you as much as it reflects badly on him. For being a fart-huffing moron with his head lodged so far up his ass he can probably taste what he had for lunch.

    I hope that no woman is ever trapped by him. Bastard does not deserve the loving attentions of a decaying goat.

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  39. hagdirt said...
    Dude, I know a couple of Satanists, and I don't think they would want him either.

    I consider myself pretty much an atheist and I don't want him either!! I'm so glad she found a great guy that at least understands what she went through and visa versa. Best of luck to them. I was wondering myself what school assmuncher Andrew went to because I would definitely love to confront him...and I wouldn't be offended when he called me a pussy because he'd be picking his holier than thou ass up off the ground!!

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  40. His writing is excruciating. Why do women date these douchebags?

    The Christians here are horribly mistaken: this man is the truest Christian among you. Christianity means it's totally okay to 'forgive' people without actually forgiving them, you can forgive people for healthy human behavior and shit that doesn't make sense, and you don't need to read the Bible. Whoever said Christians read the Bible doesn't know Christianity: that's just nonsense. And being Christian means it's okay to be an asshole. Just look at Jesus. History indicates he was a huge unrepentant jackass: pissing off Jews by claiming to be their messiah, starting an aggressive recruitment campaign their religious leaders did not condone, claiming to be God and apologize on your behalf for 'sins' you did not commit, etc. Pales in character to history's great religious leaders.

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  41. Naahmah said...
    I am a godless carnal engine of hot atheist fucking, profanity, and ambisexual pornography.

    Oh, my goodness. I want that on a t-shirt so damned bad. Do you mind terribly, Naahmah, if I put it on one?

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  42. Ive been reading this site all day and i swear to Andrews god that all of these are written by my ex. I REALLY wish i could find all those emails.

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  43. I'm reading the site (backwards) and I have to say...I'm seeing a correlation between fucktard psycho whiny boys and grammar/spelling issues. Coincidence? I THINK NOT.

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  44. luis- stfu. your entire post should be a feature on plfm. i love how atheists belittle christians with little to no actual knowledge of true christianity. i also love how atheists have little to no knowledge of science, most have never read darwin, and are generally completely unaware of anything about the world or life.
    andrew is not a christian. being a christian doesn't mean you get to say you're god's special fucktard and then do whatever the hell you want. being atheist doesn't mean you're an enlightened mind who knows more than everyone else. a douche is a douche is a motherfucking douche, and hiding behind god's name or perverted forms of darwinism doesn't make you any more or less than that.
    btw- i am a christian. i am also pro-abortion, pro-modernism, pro-gay rights, and yep, i ven masturbate and fornicate.why? because i'm human. just like everyone else. and i get really pissed when i have bitter cheesedick retards flapping their gums with bullshit just because their pathetic fucking lives didn't turn out the way they wanted it to, or because oh, my lord, they found out that god isn't going to drop a fish out of the sky but actually expects you to take care of your goddamned self. but more than anything, i truly can not stomach impotent dickheaded bitches who justify every fucked up thing they do by saying it was god's will!

    **oh, and i also curse.**
    hehehe.

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